Saturday, December 31, 2005

Review Please

Now is the time to bring back this year resolution. Slap your head and put your cursor at your system clock if you are wondering why.

Anyway flashback... below are the list as per my post last year on the 31st December 2004 for those who are too lazy to click the link.

More recent needed fulfilled resolutions:
1. Lose a few kg..if possible more than few ..damn it - Hurray! I am successful here. Hey.. few measly KGs do count eh..
2. Try to be cheerful.. (baaahhh~) - This is a dreadful resolution , I had completely thrown it out the next day itself.
3. Think positive ( this is a dreadful resolution) - Same as above.
4. TRY to take care of your skin. Beautiful complexion.. AHEAD! - Eh , I manage. Somehow. Look Ma.. no pimples! And more clearer skins than before. Need to watch it somehow since work at crazy hours.
5. Find a job (This is actually a need) - I did. I found 2!
6. Installed broadband.. - Am. In. It. Now
7. Buy more matured clothes (this is a not good resolution) - This is not a good resolution. But somehow.. I kinda fulfilled this one the most. Weird.
8. Find another leather jacket - Ah no.. I was looking for that red leather jacket I saw on Isetan. But couldn't find it anymore once I got the money. Come to think of it, where is my leather jacket?
9. Oh yeah.. Watch whats goes into my mouth (Food I meant.. dont think otherwise) - This year I had gone into more fine dining experience more than I have in several years, and I manage to lose a few kgs than last year, and somehow manage to also starved myself even more than the other few years before. Hurray for eating disorder I say.
10. Forget about certain events, certain memories, certain someone (who am I kidding) - I may need to repeat myself. WHO AM I KIDDING?
11. Be single.. (For whatever reasons I can't fathom) - This is kinda funny when I saw this again. And I did this. Wowww.. for the longest time. (Look at own hands and wonders)

Now the resolution below , well as I say in my explanation before. I will take my time eh.

Resolutions I will try to fulfill before I died
1. Go to Pompeii - Counting the money in my bank. Minus expenses, clothing, eating, gadgets, brother dating expenses... 10 years more kut.. Wuaaa.
2. Gather all my books and susun it nicely in order (not alphabetical, nor year.. just so it looks in order) - Hey I manage it. Well my mom did. I was not at home eh . Don't blame me.
3. Donate all my not weared clothes to charity ( I have no idea where to start) - Arr.. no. Still trying to find the correct charity.
4. Try to donate to charity - Well a bit. I will try to make it more consistent once I got all my expenses things all settled out.
5. Took my bros to Genting.. (I love my bros..but they dont necessarily love me back) - No. They do not want to go to Genting. Well actually they did. Then the car have some problems. Then ahhh... takpe.
6. Go to Turkey (a more burning desire to go to Pompeii actually) - Erk.. Pompeii lagi, Barcelona lagi, Vietnam lagi.. where would I dig for money for this one ar.
7. Be single.. hahaha - Very funny la Dila. I think I will cancel this resolution out. This is too silly beyond words.
8. Learn to drive (Do i hear someone laughing) - Hey I did. Yeay! Got license finally. If only I can manage to park properly without sweating.
9. Join kickboxing .. hihihi - Oh man. This is sooo over achieving of me. I can barely walk the stairs. I may need to mull this over.
10. Try to get a certain someone (I am contradicting myself isn't it) - No comment.

It IS kinda nice to have a blog. Too see who you are then. I had written that thing above when there were less than 5 peoples reading my blog. Now.. well.. maybe the numbers are about the same, yet I am more self concious on what I wrote about now. A pity. Yet, a person needs to have some secret in their life eh.

Looking back at that post again, it had been fun to look back on what I want then and thinking that how I had changed a bit and I now hope a little less yet want a little more.

By the way, have a safe celebrations tomorrow!

Friday, December 30, 2005

Yeah, life is grand. What's new?

Baah.. I am not feeling sunshiny. It must be the air. All those rain. Or it must be that dratted sunshine. All bright and shining like that. Trying to lift our spirit. But all we ( ok... I) can do is look outside listlessly thinking... nothing. Hey.. come to think of it, I didn't even noticed it rained today. I was THAT busy. The window was right in front ! Or it had not rain? Why the heck am I talking about rain, while I am blaming the sunshine? I am so confused.

Haneem told me somewhere in the line that I must be truly lonely (Thanks a lot girl for pointing that out =p ). Since I blogged a lot! I laughed at that. Me. Lonely? Isn't it? I meant Taqi is blogging no more. He must be happy. Happy = Great Life = Fun = Definitely not thinking suicidal thoughts while listening to sappy songs. Yeah? Are you? Come on Taqi. Don't be coy.

The big guy of course is one big happy guy. Nahh.. blog is only his amusement now and then pastime.

Mr. Suff blogged a little entry now and then. He must had not been lonely. I know you lead a merry life. I drink a Coke to that!

Me? Man.. I need to find new hobbies. Like knitting. Then I will have the excuse to put up pictures of a badly made shawl, looking more like a ragged towel.

If I can find my USB phone cables again!! Now I know why I am complaining so much in this post. Ahh.. I am so mad and angry like that, so excuse me while I scream in my pillow.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

The Wedding Day Itself.

Notes: I am not in the best of mood. So it may be a short post or sounds weird or whatever and so malas and could not care less about grammars (which I always sorely lack at) or spellings.

Okay... Continuation of my sis wedding before I forgot.

I woke up the next morning with heavy lidded eyes. Remembered I told you it was tiring yesterday. Well.. that morning, I only felt like I want to be in bed forever. However seeing my sister is already busying herself, I dragged myself out of bed and proceed downstairs to see what can be done.

Preparation are being done left and right. So I picked up the slack which somebody left. We need to be in a hurry since the akad nikah ceremony is at 10am.

That morning I chose to wear to a simple baju kurung. There is no way I am going to make the same mistake of wearing some sorta kebaya during own siblings wedding. Try rushing from one end of the house to the other wearing a kebaya. Bahhh.. Loose baju kurung enough.

However, I need to go to Angsana (where the wedding package dowries were being bought) to pick up the sirih junjung (one of the must for the hantaran) so I need to rush there early in the morning before the bridegroom arrived. However typical shopping mall only opened at 10am. So I had a chance to relax for a while sipping tea while watching my watch anxiously. I brought along the childrens (the extended families sdara2) so they were playing some kinda tag or hide and seek games at the deserted mall.

When I got the slightly forlorn looking sirih junjung (due to our lateness of picking it up, the salesperson couldnt be bothered to spray it with water), I was just in time when the kadi is busy asking my timid brother acting also as wali whatever question they are suppose to ask. Phew~
My sister said earlier she will just did the make up herself. However I very much doubt it. I think probably some one is helping her too. Make up is always best applied when another woman/girl is with you!

During the majlis, my friend Nai manage to slip into the house all the while scolding me that I had given her the wrong information on the time of the wedding. Sorry beb! I guess at 6 am no one is fully sane when they had slept at 3am.

The majlis akad nikah went on without a hitch. The bridegroom have to recite the akad twice though. Heh~ I remembered reading somewhere that women are actually not allowed to hear the lafaz akad thingies. But not sure really.

Anyway, we have a simple brunch and cleaned up pretty fast. And off I goes again to the mall to get the cakes this time. And don't you just hate it , when your hands are filles with boxes of cakes and receipts and wallets and car key and your phone ring. Bahh~ Better left ignored. It was my friends calling, wanting to know where I am since they are at home already! Wooahh..

So manage to see most of my friends back again after almost 3 or 4 years. That was nice. And even though some of us are looking kinda pudgier, more tembam or more kurus. However.. I can say we had not changed! I missed my ol' JB friends crowd and glad they came.

Since this time all the little helpers are exceptionally helpful and efficient in giving out the ice cream and telur pindang to the guests, I manage to catch up with my friends. And they all came together around the same time too. It was mostly because our classmate is also getting married on the same day, so I think thats why we manage to get together for the crowd. Weird to think , one of my buddy married now.

Anyway, after they left.. then the real busy time came. The bersanding was at 2. My sister had finish make up by that time. She look different. Almost like an artist! HAha. Well, she's the beauty of the family. So most people do ahh or ooohhh seeing her later. Around 2.15 the bridegroom came too. However.. the kompang boys were late by half an hour. The pengantin laki was sweating under the stunted coconut tree with only a handfan to cool himself while waiting! It do not feel like a wedding without paluan kompang whut~

Then the most despised adat by other non Johor peoples, but a big hit here. The toll! We had already warned Abg Yin telling him what amount to gave at this particular 'toll'. You see , for you Non Johorean peoples who are foreign to this, when the bridegroom and his best man made his way to the pelamin, he needs to give like toll money to get through. Usually there are like 3 stages. The gates (whicha are usually frequented by young boys and men = around RM 2 each, gave around 3 or 5), the door (frequented by cousins in the teens or young girls = around RM 5 or RM 2, same amount of peoples 2 , 3 or 4) and the pelamin itself..( blocked by the mak sedara2, cousin, sister, and mak andam - need to give the least RM5, the usual RM10 , the mak andam needs to be RM50 at least! and this needs to be given by almost to all of the person at the pelamin. Identify who is the least haggler . Well.. pandai2 la workout a system eh) Now.. who wants to back off from marrying me now.. I understand.

The best man was seen slightly sweating from the pressure of haggling.. anyhow the mak andam not so cruel maa. The bridegroom are allowed to sit at the pelamin at last.

That is the happy bride and the bridegroom. Crappy phone. Forgive the quality.

The tepung tawar began and my job is the one giving the bunga paha . That is however short lived since I was constantly being hampered by a little bratty girl who must think she own the house and refused to hear whatever my advise is. She is moaning saying she wants to give the bunga paha. Since I do not have the patience to deal with bratty girls that day (or any days for that matter) I leave her to it , that until the bunga paha falls down and I had to intervened. And believe me, if I am angry, no one will want me to intervene.

But before that I was also distracted by another bratty kid. My own cousin who is a tad bit hyperactive. Being hyperactive , he is over excited to see lots of peoples whom I probably think he is trying to impress. Being of course again, hyperactive. No one is. He was laughing and pointing to peoples. Shoved money in front of their noses. I was horrified. The mother of course only look on and says " Watie.. amik boy tu".

I had reached my limit when the tepung tawar was going on and the bridegroom mother was 'renjis'ing the happy couple; the bridegroom mother was lame and needs to walk with a cane. During that time; who knows what went in his head, he must have thought it would be fun to seize the cane and shook it like mad while laughing hysterically. For a moment I was filled with the image of a little Damien from The Omen. I grimly disattached him and tarik him screaming and kicking at the side. At last his exasperated mother who of course was only looking all the, calmly ask me to get his father. His father of course says something to the effect that it was my fault before finishing his cigarette and taking his son out.

I am at that point thinking of banning all forms of childrens at my own wedding and wanting to cut my own uterus and throw it out at Pantai Lido.

The banquet feast came and the cutting of the cakes. I am washing my hands off all kids affair and retreat myself to the kitchen. It was still pretty hectic then. But since I do not have to face more diabolical kids, I guess it was fine. Helping the usual things. Ice cream, filling whatever things needs to be filled, being a messenger.

Things got queit a little so I went to my classmate wedding for a while to show my face la at least. Didnt get to eat anything since all had finished! But I glad I came anyway, since I was always interested in meeting his jealous now wife who didnt approved of my friend storing any girls name in the handphone. Talk about possessive! However.. I hope they are happy and she will lose some of the possessiveness a bit after being a wife.

And I met my old dearest friend Yin Yi, who brought along her girlfriend. Met up with Jeffri too who used to be quite fat... but now so slim and hansome and gaya. Dye his hair red some more! Cayalah Jeff! And this is the guy who used to lament about trying in getting some attention from girls. I do believe those days are in the past now, eh.

By the time I got home. The family portrait was taken. Without me. Typical. I am of course well.. a bit mad. Damn, I am a whole lot mad. But whatever. Its always been like that anyway. Who cares. So no need to look for me in the wedding pictures eh.. I am not in any of it.

Then it was over. Leftover was packed. We thanked the neighbour, friends and families who came and helped us out. We rested our tired feeet.

Look how lame my smile was. That is after the wedding. Too tired to pose

ANothEr NoTEs: I am still waiting for the digital camera USB thingies. No idea where the hell is it. You can also catch some of the pics at my friend Nai fotopages.

Friday, December 23, 2005


That should be said in Teenange Mutant Ninja Turtle kinda way. You know. Before the cartoon series went all dark and the ninja turles still have cute eyes.

News for today. Jeng..jeng..jeng! I lost more weight yeah~ Not too much to celebrate too since I probably gain more lines around my face. It had been a stressful and kinda weird week. But.. I am going for jeans shopping tomorrow then!

My jeans are all pretty pitiful. This week make me feel bad = lost of appetite + busy = lose weight. Then this weekend will goes shoppings jeans and clothes and any gadgets + see countless movies + lookup friends = good mood again and a fat chance of fattening up!

Been woke up by niece Alisha who always manage to get into the room and hunt for my spectacles. When I sleep I always put my handphone and spectacles next to pillows. So I don't have to hunt for it when I woke up later on. It makes it much easier .. say if it got emergency like fire.. or bomb attacks or alien invasion and needs to jump off the bed, right.

My 1 and half year old niece is a pretty observant. So if she can get away and get into my room early in the morning, the first thing she will do is poke her small hands around my pillows and try to poke me in the cheek and the eye to see if I really am asleep. Not very observant there. Peoples sometimes asked me why I woke up early even in the weekend. Voila~ You got the reason.

And usually my dreams are really really sad.. (you know what I meant - no.. i rephrase this , I don't want you to know what I meant) , or really really tired (running around at staircase.. I dreamt this a lot) , or ar.. you know.. well.. that kinda dreams. However last night I dreamt I got a new credit card and I was a lesbian. I do not dream of any sexual acts being done okay, so you can cancel that thought out. And I remembered in my dream , I was really happy. Hermmm.. I wonder if being the lesbian or the credit card that gave me such unexplainable happiness.

Notes: AH.. I added a bit here and there.. since I noticed there is a lot of mistakes here and there, even though there might be some other mistakes here and there. But I'm cranky + thoughts of getting my paycheck getting to my head = I am mixed basketcase!

Notes 2: SHeeshhh.... Ok.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

The one who came .... bearing card and a fake smile

Salesman. Hate it. Telemarketer. Freak of a species who call at dinner time. Sales assistants that ambled at your side while you are window shopping, making you feel poor and inadequate. Really annoying.

But at least they are strangers. We can snubbed them. Antagonize em. Be rude to em.

What if they are your friends oracquaintances that you usually smile amiably to at kenduri and dinner get together.

Say you had not met this old friend of yours. When they suggest for a meeting to chat, you gladly agreed. I meant.. hey.. this is of course your old friend. The one you laughed with. You went say.. to the latest mamak hotspot of the town. Chatted up, rake up a few memories. Then the friend opened up their knapsack. Out came the insurance / latest direct-selling / illegal pyramid scheme/ preposterous time share documents.

Damn. Gone are all the amiable thoughts and feelings. You put on this fake interested look at your face and listened and nodded your head. In the end, you have to say something along the line of "I'll think about it" while you are actually thinking I can do a whole lot more useful stuffs with my money.

Most of these persons are really quite interested and absorbed in what they are saying themselves, so being your old friend you can't actually let them 'talk to the hand'. Usually too, you can actually looked and guess at the moment when they look at you up expectantly and automatically your mouth says "Ah", "Oh", "OK".

It is quite amusing to hear this facts and figures they bring up and expected you to be impressed. Yes, this guy can bought a house already after going in 1 year into the stuffs. Yes, this stuffs is suppose to saved you a whole lot of money. Yes, this product is suppose to make you feel good about yourself. All the while , you are only thinking of bolting and hoping to not see them again ; at least without any backup or rescue plan.

Don't you just hate it. To be caught unaware like that. And by someone you want to call as your friend. These type of peoples will then be drop to only 'acquaintances' level. I know it is their way to find some extra income. But we are being harangued enough by everyday salesman. And when we are meeting up for a laugh, we are forced to exclaim mentally "Nooooo....... not you too!".

I don't mind much if they say that they are doing this as a side of income and if you are interested do join or call em up. Give em 5 minutes to 10 minutes grace, I'll say. If it is more than that, I will cancel you from my friends get-together-if-you-wanna-have fun-list. You may get a wedding card if I do have room for you.

And if I perhaps am interested, I will take that offer and asked you more information about it. If I am not, do not be pesky and stopped asking me.. "So you want or not?...So very nice one... manyak lugi kalo tak masuk/join/signup,". I will put you to my Invisible Friends notice.

Most of my friends know that I don't dig direct selling stuffs. No matter how lucrative or whatever it is, I still persist thinking it is a scam and a waste of my time. Since I don't like to persuade peoples and that mean also ; do not like others to persuade me too. And if other peoples are selling it to me, I say the usual stuff "I'll think about it" . Take note if you are a friend, I am actually just being polite . And if I lose interest, I will informed you. And stop asking me. Its my own decision. I will not be swayed but I will be annoyed.

Getting money and all that is really nice and all. However do draw a line somewhere eh, if you are finding yourself getting less calls/sms /chats and less invitations to a get together.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Found that darned phone cable thingies..

Too bad it is only for my crappy mobile phone. I have yet to hunt the digital camera USB cable. Fear not.. well. I have to take that back. It may and can and should be fear that I would forget that too. I would add it to my to do list... if I can only remember where did I exactly put my to do list... or if I even have one. So the greater number of pictures will have to be put off later.

Anyhow, last weekend was my sister's wedding. Things was hectic enough. My family after all is not a large family. We of course could only rely on ourselves. The extended family.. well.. we could not jolly ask em to help us out. They have to do it out of the goodness of their heart. And Thank God that some of them do. Or I will still be stranded at JB trying to heal the numbness at my leg.

I arrived at JB at Saturday. It was no fun since the pelamin and hantaran is all finish and done. I was sulking the whole week before at the office. If peoples noticed my moodiness, that was partially the reason. I can be moody for any apparent reason if I chose. Anyhow, Sunday is the wedding. But Saturday is still quite eventful. The bridegroom family had came a bit early, so in appearance to be a generous and good hostess we have to prepare an express lunch. Of course cooking for 30 ++ peoples is almost impossible within an hour notice. So being truly Malaysians, we tapaw!

During the lunch feast it was raining heavily. And came a heavy fall , literally. We put up the tent at our neighbor's house which is also my mom's cousin house. The tent had 'roboh' to say the least. It seems like the aging tent's besi structure could not hold all those rainwater.

We can only looked on with dismay. All of the household members had gone out, excepting me. I am always last on the scene. Anyhow.. while my family are trying to salvage the ruin of the tent and a little bit of our dignities, the guests had finish eating. No worries... I just piled em up and worried about it later.

I have no idea how we get through that. But at the end the plates are cleaned, the guests were reasonably full, the tent however remains the same.

Guess it is better it had tumbled apart now rather than on the wedding day. Imagine the poor peoples stuck under the wedding tent if it had fall down while they are stuffing themselves with nasi minyak. Shudders.. The mess we then would be entangled in..

My mom promptly take out her batu lesung and rebus/boil it for the whole night and day. Old superstitious thingies. Supposedly it will keep the rain away. During the wedding day it had not rained . Well.. only a lil bit , but that was on the morning.. and only teensy itty bit of rain. Gayish rain I would call it. So.. hey.. the rebus stones thingies might just work. Take that, metereological department!

During the evening, rather than the Majlis Berinai thingies, my mom decided to have an impromptu majlis Tahlil for the departed members of our family. Which means during that short duration of time, my mom and the other family manage to cook a decent meal ; rather than tapaw, for the Tahlil.

After tahlil, cleaning up.. then continues for more preparation. By this time all of us had almost drop dead. But the other family members had managed to take out the rustic tent and put it to a safe place, while the others busying themselves with other preparation.

The small tokens of appreciation that were given to guest. Inside this satchel/kampit had been filled by telur pindang. Mighty popular. So none left for you. Sorry guys...

My sisters then proceeded to redecorate the hantaran/dowries. They are unsatisfied with how they are prepared by the wedding package that they had taken. It does look tasteless. Not to mention they had damaged one of the barang hantaran. Rather pissed off. The barang hantaran is not just for decoration purposes, eh. Make mental note to not take that wedding package for my own wedding! Since I do not have a creative bone in my fingers, my sisters and mom continued to reinvent the existing hantaran to a more pleasant looking dowries and I just content myself to pile up the pulut at the bunga paha.

My brothers? They went on to watch some wrestler spouting how great this wrestler were.. a unique person.. will miss him.. bla bla. Those who followed the wrestling scene , will know who I meant had died.

By 3 am the house is quiet...waiting for tomorrow when the festivities come.

Notes: I am tired too. That's why I stopped here.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Inane Ramblings

Hey.. its been a long time since I did that.

Its not that I do not have any clear topic to blog about. There are a lots of things to tell too.. since I had just got back from my sis wedding. But still a wedding is best appreciated with pictures. This is because I am PLAIN Ol' LAZY.

To update with pictures, let me just search for the always missing cable that will link my camera phone and the digital camera to my computer. That of course would take ages. One my many failings apart from being lazy is also procrastinate.

So here I am ... Just feel like blogging. And typed about nonsensical thing. Oh this month I will be working the 12.45 pm shift to 10pm shift. This resulted in me being lazy when the clock hit 8pm. Really. Right now ; The office is cold. I can hear the surau reciting Quran verse. Outside is dark. There are less than 5 peoples in the office. Do not blame me if I am lazy. The environment practically begs for it ::Yawn::

And despite my really long list of YM friends, I have none whom I can chat with to kill the boredom. Either they are also misusing the company bandwidth or they are too busy with their 8pm activities (TV shows pretty good, dinner are served, family time) or I am too boring to hold a senseless conversation with (Ego bruising it might be .. however needs to face that this possibility exist) . So here I am .

Not to mention I am damn hungry. Peoples are wondering how did I look a bit slimmer ( I put a 'bit' and the 'er' yee to show comparison. So let no one say : "You are not slim" or "You are as fat as ever". I might be feeling murderous) Yes. Blamed laziness! Yeay ! To get to the office early so not to get another 'advise' from TL I skipped my lunch. Really frivolous to waste that time to buy lunch or eat whut. Sleeping and reviewing back the scenes of my beloved jdorama are better. Go round in circles searching for parking at 12pm at KLCC. Arrived at the office slightly panting. By 5 pm am feeling ravenous. Go to cafe below, closed. Feeling too lazy to go to the Food Court which I am unsure will still have edible food by that time . By 8pm (now) , I am ready to eat a crocodile before they can 'ngap' me.

So.... nah. No conclusion can be given. Perhaps this would served as a conclusion or closing. I could eat you!

Friday, December 09, 2005

What Ifs...

I remembered something from the book Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm. She was reciting some grammar lessons with her teacher. The words she is reciting , all of them containing, "If she had known, If they had known, If I had known.."

She remarked to the her teacher that it is such a sad word. Of all words, the if is the saddest. Whittier quote something like this : "Of all the saddest words , the what might have been is the saddest of all"

If, if and if. Its like time lost and never can be gathered.

Even though there are there are sayings "No use crying over spilt milk".. "The past is past.."

Still don't you think it is interesting if you think about the outcome all about the major decision you had made in your life...

The major if in life..

What if my father is still alive? Would I be the person I am now?
What if I never opted to go to boarding school? Would i be the semi do not care about peoples thoughts ?
What if I had opted to play for the recording company ? Would my career be something else?
What if I had not been petulant and not refused to continue with my musical lesson? Would I be the child protege my teacher used to lament about?
What if I had not gotten angry and closed my heart and memory? Would I be laughing with someone else?
What if I had not opted to chose IT as a study? Would I be someone that I always dreamt of
What if I had study a little bit harder during my SPM? Would I be studying something else, somewhere else?

However... of all the if..

I could not imagine that I would not be in UTP.

I could not imagine not knowing my friends, all the peoples I had known loved liked laughed, the peoples that changed my life, the people that make me who I am now.

I could not imagine my life without my family.

Imperfect they are... I would not change whatever way they treated me. The good and the bad.

I could not imagine my life without knowing at least IRC!!

Now.. that is just damn weird.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Dear Aunt Agony,

I don't blog much about my work?

I don't know why. I just don't feel like it. Its not that interesting. Or maybe , I just want to forget about it.

Its not half bad. I wrote load of emails. Chat with a load of peoples around the world. Get calls from a load of peoples around the world too. Less call nowadays. More chat and emails. By the end of the week ,my fingers are a bit sprained.

Its like being Aunt Agony.

Dear Auntie Agony,

My boyfriend had left me for another man. I feel like dying and slitting my wrist. What does he have that I don't have?

Really lonely gal.

... Only much insult prone. Of course my type of emails is something like this..

Dear Support,

Your lousy product had now crashed my computer when I had installed it. I try to call your Support but couldn't get through.

Your product is crap. And I wish I had bought your competitor's product instead. I now have to brought the computer to the computer technician and the bills far exceed the price I bought your oh-so-wonderful product that is supposedly to protect me against any threat.

I want your company to compensate for my loss or I will see you in Court.

A Very Pissed Off Person.

Yes, we live in such a nice cheery world, where every humans is so courteous to each other.

Now, remind me again why I don't blog much about my work?

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Re -Tag

Lee had re-tagged me, so this is it a bit past the deadline I promised her. Since I am much too lazy to redo it again I will just paste it. Haha. . However, there are one other title that was not included earlier. So there it is below, the one that is not italicize.

Seven things you plan to do before you die:

1. Volunteer work

2. Go to Pompeii

3. Have mindless sex. No? Ok. Change that to getting married.

4. Watch Phantom of The Opera or Chicago, live! (That meant the grand ol stage baby!)

5. Learn back all my lost musical skills

6. Pay back my loans!

7. Look him at the eye at least once.

Seven things I cannot do (OK this is not included in the last post):

1. Sadly , cooking. But hey.. I am sure am a natural. Once I have the time. Or energy. Or do not burn the house. Or got over fear of fire.

2. Say No when somebody I like ask to do something. Bah!

3. Live without streamyx. Life would be so dull indeed when I cannot download things.

4. Show sympathy when the occasion rise for it. I just don't eh. Call me cold.

5. Lose weight to measly 45 kg. Bloody hell. (Why being underweight appeal to me. CLOTHES )

6. Swim. No matter how hard my dad used to drown me ajar swimming , I could not swim to save my life. But hey.. I do think fast when my life depends on it.

7. Go out with (currently there are 2 or 3 in the list) . No need to name em. Afraid will muntah darah or die of repugnance.

Seven things I could do ( I do not quite understand this part):

1. Give more to charities , not own clothes welfare Updates: (Am seriously lacking here)

2. Slim down more. OK. That is impossible. I change it to buy more expensive clothes! Updates: (More clothes, yes. Expensive..soon..soon)

3. Buy Chronicles of Narnia and finish it before the movie come out in December. Updates: (Yes , 2 more books to go. Kacang putih saja to finish it by next weekend)

4. Buy new handphone. Update: (Been there, done that)

5. Sleep less. Dream more. Update : ( Hopeless Dila. Cannot do this)

6. Go out with more peoples. Update: (1 or 2 more count eh?)

7. Go to Langkawi with my friends Updates: ( Oh man, I missed kak mel wedding)

Seven celebrity crushes:

1. Matsumoto Jun :: heart skip more than a beat I assure you ::

2. Fujiki Naohito :: swoon ::

3. Matthew McConaughey

4. Ashton Kutcher

5. Ryan Reynolds

6. Ewan McGregor

7. Angelina Jolie ( I know, I know.. but who wouldnt eh?)

Seven often repeated words:

1. Ape?

2. Whut?

3. Huh?

4. Hahahhaha

5. Hurmph

6. Eeeeeeewk~

7. .......................

Seven physical traits I look for in the opposite sex :

1. Tall

2. A bit fair

3. Nicely built shoulder

4. Gorgeous soft hair. Not too slick, just enough that I can rumple.

5. Strong looking hand

6. That little smile

7. The half smiling eyes

Seven tags go to : None.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I spoke too soon

That birthday post if you noticed was posted in the morning.

Then during lunch hour, I got my birthday cake and the singing and blowing out candles. Yes. I was not spared. But it was sweet of them. The cake was great and one of my favorite. Blueberry Cheesecake. Eat your heart out. (Well only at that moment) Courtesy of the office and chose by Kran there.

They got a pretty agitated at first thinking that I had gone out for lunch. It was a surprise thingies if you guys had not figured it out yet. No worries... I had only set out to satisfy my dairy craving. On top of that I am not cake hungry anymore.

However got some more suprises.

Unpleasant one first. Got like a "bubble" ( some kind of voicemail ) from someone later that evening. After finishing work then I proceed to dial away to hear whatever that person wanna say. It turned out horrendous.

Oh no.. someone do not berated me or anything like that. Some guy was actually playing the guitar and warbled along to the Happy Birthday song! Worst. Birthday. Present. Ever.

Does he thinks it is cute? Or I would swoon? Or I would gush later on saying " how nice is your voice and I really like your singing "? Or I would be oh-so-smitten? Bleurgh. It boggles me thinking what he might be thinking.

How I cringed hearing it and hope I had never heard it before. Wipe the memory of my mind, please! ::wails:: It just spoilt my birthday! ::stomp feet:: ::stomp feet:: And realllllyyyy..... why does guys keep on saying
" Alaa... die wat camtuh.. nanti ko cair jugak ".

Really, YOU THINK? ::shake heads:: Sometimes there are something that guys just do not understand.. or how some other guys can really be such a pest (to put it mildly). Its not that I don't like him (Ok, I lied. I DON'T like him) It just that he is soo erm disturbing and makes me uncomfortable. Argh... Okay. This is turning out to a rant.

Turn back the ditsy mode back on. The more pleasant surprise. My friend from UTP, Snubby a.k.a Lan gave me a SMS saying he will be in KL later on this evening and ask to blanje dinner as birthday treat, later at night. I say night cause I know his time. Yeay!

Later on more surprises !
Syuk and Yoda was there too. ( I mistakenly thoughts Yoda was Iyayy) But both of them back then are roomies, always together and gayish , you can't actually think about one without thinking the other. Yoda is now traumatized by the comparison mistake. We then picked up Yunkies too . More Yeay! The girls are a bit tired, and the guys don't change a bit.

Its such a nice day ... thank you guys and girls.

Notes: Am Reading Narnia (Birthday Gifts) !!!

Monday, November 21, 2005

Happy Birthday to Me...


My birthday. I'm turning 23. Yeuch! Sounds so old... like can get married already.

My first birthday celebrated while working.. Eh, not really la. I had celebrated once during my industrial training. Still at that time my birthday was on the weekend, so can celebrate kaw kaw punye.

Now my birthday on Monday. Bluergh. Monday Blues. Thank Heaven I started work on Sunday. The blueness don't feel that bad. And I feel glad that no one at work remembered my birthday today. Cause I hate birthday songs sang to me ( I like to sing to others inaudibly) and blowing candles in front of others. I like to do them alone despite whatever Tiger Beer Advertisement might want to convey. (The best things in life are shared or you are a lone freak) I am sure their CEO don't feel that way. But I do like cakes, no matter whose birthday is that .. hermm.. will buy cakes if feel cake hungry at end of day and perhaps stick some post Raya 'bunga api' in a cake and sing to myself.

However I do like to thank you for those who wishes me a happy birthday ... started from midnight and till this morning. You guys and gals are sweet to remember my birthday and wishes me well even though I am a forgetful friend who always wishes those lucky one a belated birthdays and sometimes forget their birthday terus! My birthday resolution this year is to keep a list of my Friends birthdays and always try to at least wish them a belated birthday. Gambatte!

And I will just thank those in advance who will wishes me and come bearing gifts. I prefer them wrap in red ribbons and come in big boxes , thank you.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

My Phone and Me

My first ever handphone was being given by my ex-boyfriend. It was the Banana Nokia. And I always love to put its yellow cover on. So cute.

My first ever own number attached to my name was DiGi. Until now, I am with DiGi. Not with the first DiGi number laa. This is my 2nd number. 1st number got stolen by some lazy ass guy who is probably suffering from syphilis (If you don't ,I hope you do) and perhaps by selling off my handphone and stealing puny rm50 in wallet can buy medications for his venereal disease.

You can call me a loyal DiGi customer. I can be loyal if they treat me good.. And they treat me, very very good. Which had made me remembered *gasp* My birthday coming up. Need to top up soon so can get extra RM. Man.

Anyhow , my friends during Raya asked me about sms thingies. On why I rarely replied his sms. Laziness kicks in. I guess. But thinking back....

Then during phone-mania era where Dino Handphone was acceptable and 3210 was considered cool:

- Any call was welcome
When we heard that ring tones we always jump! Saying oooohh.. ahhh... Call Call.. Someone wanting to call me. Someone care. Yippee.

Yeah .. yeah.. I lack self-esteem.

- Any SMS was treated immediately
At that time any sms was treated irreverently. You can only send from 016 - 016. 012- 012. Pity the outsiders. I do not get much SMS because of this... since well.. I was using 016. Most of my friends was using 012.
The turnaround time to reply was immediately. If got no credit, then almost immediately after had top up. If somebody important sms ( you know what I meant) , the topup filling turnaround is also almost immediately.

-You are always wondering that missed calls are from whom
Got 1 missed calls, no lah. I do not call back. 2 or 3 I call you back la. But you at time wonders who's the number you missed calls.

- Missed Call meant that you miss them or a sign to contact me or kind like a game.
Used to have this boyfriend. Too stingy to call or sms. So he missed call. He says that whenever he misses me, he will missed call me. Kinda funny huh.
And some of my friends love to miss call one another to the point of distractions to the one staying in the same rooms with em.

- SMS was then always funny, jokelike, characters made to look like pictures showing that you care
You know you always got those SMS. Flying coffin rumors. The bear like or bird like characters saying something like Friendship Forever or I Miss You. Back then every one was wanting to have the most unique and complex like SMS texts. Weird. Count me out on that. But I did remember I like em well enough dulu.

- People can't tear themselves away from their handphone.
No need remarks like See It To Believe It. It must have happened to you. At the very least someone close to you.
Remembered when I was in Metana. Around 9pm to 12 pm there will be lots of girls around with phones plastered to their ears. Some speaking softly. Some gesturing wildly (yours truly). Many of us have our own favorite spots. The quiet one went under the stairs. The noisier walking around in front of the hostel. The more disturbing one sitting in front the view of our very own hostel lake (lombong).

- Most peoples are using the same models.
At that time, 3210 and the banana phone or the 3310 are the most commons. The only thing differentiating the phones are for the cover of the phones. Some are just plain red, grey, or blue. Some have cartoon pictures. Some have naked chicks on em.

Now is the time where handphone is the norms that even my 6 year old cousins have one.

- Anonymous / Unimportant call is unwelcome
No more jumping up and down when your phone ringing. No more rushing through at the speed of bullet. If it rings, so be it. Some call had been marked as "Ignore" or "That jackass". Only call that is to say "Going out or not?" is acceptable to my ears.. Wait. On 2nd thought, I don't think so. Only some peoples. Some random peoples calling up playing prank or joke on you is being received depending on moods. You can be damn sure most of the time that the mood aint sun and shine.

- Any SMS was treated immediately. Some. I guess
Okay. SMS like: "Jadi ke tak, ni", "Are you at home, I'm on my way," will be treated immediately. Some random SMS on some thoughts of Friendship? You do not give me any personalisation of your own words in that SMS, I would not consider to reply. I will just be secretly pleased inside. (Again I must stress for my own defense, for some peoples ).

At times when you got SMS, especially while you are shopping at juggling between your lemonade, handbags and your shopping bags.. you just call them back instead of replying. Faster. Easier to convey.

If your credit at your handphone had finished.... that is sooo rarely the case since well.. you rarely use your phone to call or sms what.

-You are always wondering that missed calls are from whom
That only happens now if you are unemployed or currently job huntings. If not , dismiss it. They will call you back if it is important.

- Missed Call meant that you miss them or a sign to contact me or kind like a game.
You do that to me now. You are sooooooooooo not getting a "Yes" to your "Do you want to go out with me?" questions.

And really... it is mind boggling enough to go through the grind of everyday life. But to 'tembak' each other thinking it now cute?

Please gentlemen, if you still doing it even after you had received a paycheck with a name and EPF of your own. Stop by the nearest hangout for high school girls and ask for their phone number. I wish you luck and all the happiness in the world.

- SMS was then always funny, jokelike, characters made to look like pictures showing that you *cough* care
See point above.

- People can't tear themselves away from their handphone.
Well.. this can still be the case. But not so much anyway. In UTP when I was in final year. I rarely find a girl lurking in any shadows or nooks or corners talking on the phone compare to when I was in Metana. Probably the IRC thingies had changed things I guess.

- Most peoples are using the different models different versions different covers
You named it. Samsung. LG. Nokia. Sony Ericson. Motorola. Heck, compare to then, the latest of all models is currently being owned by high school kids. Compared to my cikai phone ... their phone would lambasted the daylight out of mine.

Friday, November 11, 2005

No. 1

Okay. I won't promise if this will be an essay or not. I am pretty damn depressed. And typing this load of shit is guarantee to make me a whole lot sadder, more depressed and increase hallucination on suicidal thoughts. I am armed with a whole lot of really depressing shits from our great musician. I hence come armed, baby.

The King And I
No. Its not about stupid Anna and the Thai King. I meant come one, that is one lousy woman who do not know a thing about culture, busying' herself poking into somebody else business I guess. Probably was too bored teaching lazy ass royalties. Ok Ok.. I compose.

Everyday to get back to the castle up on the hill, he (his driver to be more exact) had to drive along the rows and rows of houses that is built on a grand scale. Perhaps to match the great castle in the backgroud?

"Commoners," he thought. He barely look outside from the car windows. The same scenery , same houses everyday.

He caught a glimpse. She was walking toward a house. Not the grand houses. A small picturesque little house.

Everyday for a month. He makes a point to look at that particular house. Sometimes he saw her. Sometimes he went home disappointed. What he sees so far, he like.

This went on. Day by day, the desire to see her come stronger and stronger. His mind is made up. He called his trusted assistants into his confidence. They know him well enough not to be surprise. They nodded indicating they understand.

ten next day, the little house received their grand visitors and the surprise of their life. The assistants make the wishes of their master known. The inhabitants of the house agrees. Some rejoiced.

The girl was called. She listened at first in great disbelief. Then doubts. The women's was calling her the luckiest woman in the country. She looked at the face of the men around her. Grim faces. She could not understand it. The impassive looks of the King's men frightened her even more. Her father take her arm, away in a corner, spoke slowly to her, away from everybody else. She looked into his eyes. His words are speaking something else, his eyes are telling her another. She just smiled weakly and nodded her head.

The other women take her away. Haste is important. The King's request is secrecy and the matters done quickly.

The wedding day came just a few days after the life changing event of the girl. It was a simple ceremony. They were wedded.

Night came when the husband meet her wife. Her heart was pounding fast. She could feel her head whirring. The King look at her in satisfaction. She is beautiful. Looking into her big round eyes, he never would have guessed that she was frightened out of her life. He came closer, she closed her eyes.

When she woke up the next morning, her bed is empty. She let out a sigh of relief. She let her eyes closed for a moment. Emptying her mind. She opened it up slowly. Half dragging her feet, she makes her way to the mirrors table. Never had she more hated the sight of herself than this morning.

Her eyes caught something on the table. A sob threaten to make a way out but she choked it back. Hands trembling she scanned the words on the paper.

A divorce statement.

Everything make sense to her now. She was nothing more than another pawn in a cruel game.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Bitter Pill

Few days back a long lost IRC friend somehow got hold of my Friendster and contacted me. I was exposed~~

We used to chat around the time when I was in Form 5. Then I became an addicts. I meant addicted to Internet. Nowadays? Not so much now since I have to put myself as Away in almost all my Instant Messenger programs since I am too lazy to reply to some messages or I just plain do not like the user.

We got to talking and I was surprised to find out that how many chatters that I still keep in contact with from my Form 5 days~ Since back in those days we love to pair each others off and almost everyone is with someone we know. I should say was. But some of them still stay together after all these fickle years.

He was asking me questions regarding the lovelike state of my life now, I guess some of my remark put him to this question:

"You had been dissapointed in love?"

And hey... I did not make apparent remark like "Men sucks" or "Love is only a chemical reaction trigger by lust".

I just laughed (if you can described this :D as a laugh) and replied.

"You are asking a question which everybody would reply "Yes" to ."

It is just a known fact that it do not required any explanations. Any type of love from all kinds of peoples of all different walks of life , we will learn this lesson.

'Tis a bitter pill for everyone to swallow.

It makes me wanna compose 5 tragic (or somewhat tragic love stories). Let me see if I have the time and energy to do it. Try to guess which is true.

Monday, November 07, 2005


Tajuk di atas saja yang English. Tapi terasa macam nak berbelog lagi dalam Bahasa Melayu. Mungkin sebab terasa sentiment tu macam kena aje untuk Raya.

Malas la nak menaip panjang-panjang. Tengah kenyang. Baru lepas makan lemang. Lemang tipu bak kate abang ipar. Dalam bukan main lawa lagi, takde kesan macam kena bakar. Terletak je lemang tu, setakat asap tepi jalan je lebih. Sekadar hiasan agaknye. Ye la kan Malaysia pon baru je diwarwarkan antara pengeksport Uncle Ho yang terhebat. Alang- alang musim raya, lemang ketupat pon kalau boleh nak di'lanun'kan sekali.

Selalu cakap tak seronok dulu-dulu masa raya. Orang-orang tua cakap raya ni untuk budak-budak. Yang dah dewasa pening kepala sebab poket dah kering. Tahun ni lain pulak rasenye. Sebab tahun ni dah kena mula bagi duit-duit raya pada sedara mara.

Orang kata tak best la kan sebab dah tak dapat duit raya. Macam mana pun, ade jugak la rase seronok. Pertama kali nak memberi duit kononnye. Rase macam best je duk masuk-masukkan duit dalam sampul raya nak kasi untuk kanak- kanak comel dan adik- adik yang greedy. Selalunye Kak Watie die ni kedekut sangat-sangat kan. Haaa, time ni la nak 'pau'. Adik- adik mintak RM 100 paling kurang. Berangan la die orang. Tapi kesian la jugak pikirkan adik-adik laki yang kuat makan ni, kasi la lagi banyak dari yang die orang patut dapat. Bukan banyak sangat pon adik. Ade 2 orang je. Nasib baik la sedara mara / anak sedara pon tak ramai. Rasa macam kelakar la pulak nak kena bagi kat kazen mazen yang lebih kurang sama je umur. Dulu-dulu sama-sama pegi ke rumah sana sini mintak duit raya. Ni kena bagi duit raya kat die orang laks! Yang ade sorang kazen kecik ni tetiba tanye

" Kak Watie dah kahwin ke?"

Blur sats kena tanye soalan camtuh. Agak biasa la soalan tu dilontarkan sejak 2 menjak dah keje ni kan. Dasar budaya timur = Lumrah alam. Tapi masa terberhenti jugak la seketika bila kazen yg kecik pon tanye camtuh. Rupa-rupanye die konfius sebab setahu die orang dah kahwin je kasi duit. Mak die Chinese dan die memang rapat ngan 'KongKong' , so tersilap sangka la sebentar. Hai.. walau camne pon, memang tak best betul la kena letak dalam kategori tu sengaja tak sengaja pon. Saya masih muda ~ cewah!

Raya ni tak best satu je. BANYAKNYE MAKAN... MACAM MANA NAK KURUS NI!!

Saturday, October 29, 2005

101th Post

Is it?

That what it says for my blogger dashboard. It is my 101th post. It makes me think, had I gone far?

Not as far I like. My readers are somewhat the same. Yes you. But they are new readers too. New friends. Then also some new interesting read. So I guess it is far enough eh..

I mean it is interesting this blogging world. You get so many different type of peoples blogging. Some are like me... have no direction whatsoever. Some are just rant. Some are like stories books that you wish you can just read chapter by chapter and you wish that the next chapter are available whenever you like.

You get people hurling insult at each other. Some petty disagreement. Some had clans with each other. Its kinda like, blogging had almost replace IRC war. You know IRC? The thing where you need to join channel and chat about senseless stuffs or flirt with someone. Well, it kinda hard to flirt with someone at blogging world. You need to be pretty creative. There is no lame script for you to create flowerlike characters or something like /me (putownnickhere) give (putsomeoneyoulikenickhere) a bunch of flowers /MARS bar/diamond symbol thingies... Maybe you need to create something like a poem. But I can almost sure any hard hearted girl will think it is cheesy and corny. Maybe.. ::IDEA:: dedicate a post to her.. How soft her hair looks, how her eyes sparkled like the star, how you like to hear her laugh but of course that it is even dreadful'er' and even more corny. She might think you are a stalker and put in restraining order for you to not be anywhere near her 10 feet. Now IRC is much more simpler eh.

There's nothing in IRC any more for full grown kids. When I went into IRC, it is just full of hormonal school boys trying to flirt. Its either that or the #klsex frequenters that using some really disgusting nick that makes us wonder if they got what they're looking for when going into the IRC . In our time the ever lasting tiring popular opening mark was a/s/l plzzzz. Now it is as my friend Seri told me "Do you have fs?".

What hell is fs? Friendster. It seems Friendster had replaced a/s/l. Ohh.. The indignity of it. No more telling peoples 18/f/kl. Now we have Friendster to even make it easier to tell us what movies we like, what kinda thing interest us, and the most important thing 'ARE YOU SINGLE?'. I think this must had been the real purpose.

Remember when you are in IRC, its kinda difficult to ask a person if they are single. I mean, do you wanna ask. But what if the person think you are interested in them? When in fact you don't but well.. you do like them and it would be nice if they are single. But still, how can we know. Something in the line of that lar. Therefore what better solution than Friendster. You know how Friendster is like. Most you have one I believe. And as the truth universally known, if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend who have a little jealousy streak in them, and if you put 'Single'. The boldness of it!! But hell hath no fury like a women scorn (for men out there) and for the ladies, you can be sure you boyfriends would not feel very much incline to cater to your every nonsensical whim much less wining and dining at your favorite restaurant. Perhaps even seeking other 'Single' status friendster member.

Seri informed us that if you do not have fs its like you are the scum of the society, the low life, the one in school who always wear raggedy clothes and shoes with holes. Too far. But they would immediately lose interest. Probably the thing going on their mind, 'What? You do not have Friendster?, what kinda loser are you? Greenhorn at the Internet scene huh? ' Ahh.. how things changed. Even IRC!
So there it is we blog. We flamed each other much like forum. Have something like declaring war... no nuking or things like that la in IRC but some do hijack other blog and 'mess it up good'. ( I like that phrase - manga like English) . Some just flame the comment. And as in IRC we have this pesky bot or things like that advertising their channel, the same can be said for bloggy.

There it is.

Blog, the IRC of the full grown kids. Live up or join Friendster and advertise yourself.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

G 7 Ch 9

Oh.. Just let me squeal like a little girl!

It just so delicious. Even though it is manga.. no moving thingies.. no flesh and blood. Does it make it any more lesser? No...

Sheessh.. the latest scanslated Gokusen 7 ch9.. is sooo what ar.... die hard fans wants it to be! Yups2. Love it when Shin so called confessed. But kinda like a shocker for it to be brought up so suddenly. But I kinda feel like I would be in for another surprise.

The Live Action is cool with Nakama Yukie, the anime had been licensed (ehem.. clear throat), but the manga is so nice and not so morally inclined whut. No hentai (or I wouldn't be reading it, you pervs), simple drawing, funny, joke not over the top.

My kind of things eh..

Saturday, October 15, 2005

From the east side to the smell of the Javanese beans.

What is it? Sh! Sh!

Its all so quiet.. Shh.. Shh~~ Damn. I hate Bjork. Her song irritate the hell out of me.

Oh no. I am still in my obsession. Yeah.. I am now downloading mostly jdo! But not just any jdo. Looking for those that starred Nakama Yukie. Really like her a lot. Like her acting so far. She got spunk and beauty. Kinda like the Japanese version of Angelina Jolie (less oooozziinng of sex appeal, more on cuteness).

My friend at school remarked once that I seems to like and adore female actress and hum songs sang by female singers. Kinda like unconciously feministic in a lesbian sorta way.

Anyway, on Nakama Yukie. I like her in Gokusen and like her so much that I want to see more of her. I had seen Trick once. Not my cup of tea. I found it hard to understand, understandably so since it deals a lot of folklore and myth in Japan. So I seen a few, gave it altogether since I found myself trying to figure it out too much rather than enjoying it.

Had also bought myself a new J-Do. Being rather 'membazir' eh... well, its either that or a new suede green handbag. Since my bed post can no longer hold any of my rather increasing number of handbags, I choose to leave the handbag. I had set myself on a higher purpose. A red Elle bag that is really.. everything I almost dream of.

So yeah about the JDo. Guess what is it? Another Nakama Yukie. This time it is Face; about someone who fall for a guy with a split personality disorder (ain't we all..). Had not seen much Nakama Yukie acting in a more humanly realistic part, so it gonna be interesting. Am also trying to download G@me from eMule. The progress so far is snail-like. The application is appropriately named. I have difficulties finding the torrents. So hope this would be OK.

A note to myself. I had single handedly managed to down an espresso. Well.. I cheated a bit, I ordered espresso with coco. So I manage not to puke. I am not much of a coffee drinker, never am and never can be. Coffee make me feel light headed and silly and later on I will have headache, stomache and all kinda ache.

I used to bought the Red (Regular) 3 in 1 Nescafe when I was in UTP. My friends looked at me in bewilderment, that when I opened a packet, I will only used half of the packet, carefully folded half of the packet and tuck it with a paper clip, and stored it inside my drawers. The next day ; Voila!, I would just use the remaining packet to make another mug of coffee.

Is the taste watery? Yeah. But funnily enough, thats the way I like it. Pity the man who have to marry me and love coffee. His wife couldn't even make a 3-1 instant coffee to save her life. And thats what I like most for all of my drinks. My mom used to lament to me saying ...

"I think you must had take after your father's mother. She is always skimming on food. WE are not that poor you know!"

Now.. do not tell me I can't save!

I can't abide coffee much. One drink of it in the early morning can make me very very sick for the whole day (swaying dangerously and giddily talking to anybody). However, I love the smell of it. I like walking next to those cafe or coffee shops and smell their brewed coffee ( I do not say freshly , I doubt anything is in KL). Even though drinking coffee can't wake me up, the smell of it are refreshing. The taste of coffee make me wanna vomit. The smell of coffee make me feel crisp, awake, clears the mind... and one of my remedies if I feel like puking. You can find me ordering a coffee just for the smell of it and ordering something else to quench my thirst.

I am a bunch of contradictions.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

My Couch Potato Favorite - Sky High

Yesh. Weird. Its Ramadhan now. Time flew so fast. Last time when it was Ramadhan I didn't know what sleep is since I will wait until sahur then go out with my friends to eat our fill. Now? Eating.. I am more concerned in sleeping. But nah.. this post won't be about Ramadhan.

Its about Sky High! Yeay. Finally watch the movie. I know its a silly harmless movie, but since I don't feel like watching any dramatic or heavy movie at the moment, I will opt for fun fun movie that make me laugh. And yeah... it does. Its an overall cheesy feel good movie. But not cheesy enough to be stale and distasteful. Cheesy that melt in your mouth and feel nice chewing on it.

Its about a bunch of kids who have superpower attended a school where.. well to hone their superpower skills. At first when I saw the trailer I was about to compare it to Volcano High, but since Volcano High is rather forgettable and can't remember or understand it, so I just gave up comparing em because its like comparing apples to oranges. Completely different. Volcano High more dark and a bit heavy, Sky High is specially made to appeal to little kids (like me, me!).

The storyline revolved around Will, whom attended this hi-school. His parents is one of the most popular, strongest and capable of all superheroes. So people looked up to them and expected the same potential for Will. However , he have zilch superpower without his parent realization (thats weird to me). So he had to be put in the class for sidekicks which in another word, the loser class in Sky High. And he's in there with a buncha of his sidekick friends who have pretty weird superpower too. The rest of it are pretty high schoolish thing - cool guys vs loser guys, gals like boys that like someone else, popular kids, who asking whom to the school prom, arch enemy throwing great balls of fire at you.

What I found hilarious is where the cut the class to sidekick and superheroes. I didn't realize sidekick need classes too. Their lesson is interesting too...

" If your hero is going to be attack by a zombie, what would you give him?
a) an arrow
b) a gun
c).. some other weapon.. (I forgot)

Another instance on a lesson on how to change your wardrobe quickly into your superheroes garb. Thats the the one that always bugged me. I know Superman have supersonic speed and all so he can change his wardrobe quickly, but Batman, Spiderman, ?? It must take tonne of time to put tight fitting clothes to fit in.

The actors and actresses and great too. You get a some familiar faces like Kurt Russell and Kelly Preston. Their costume is a bit weird. Like it had been made of rubber. It makes me think of my niece little princess Barbies that I played with. But Kurt Russell looks really old. Kelly Preston of course hot .. but still looked somewhat fortyish. Yet fortyish who is hot. That , is hot!

Anyway its like I said its a fun filled movie. I wouldn't mind watching it again !!

P/S: It would be fun huh to imagine what kinda superpower you wish you have? It would be so cool to shapeshift into any person, object or size. Imagine being slimmer and can fit into all kind of clothes!

Thursday, September 29, 2005


I slept late last night. Common if you are feeling restless. Look at the post below.

Anyway, I dreamt. Common occurences. Yet, I dreamt that he was explaining or (soothing?). It felt so real for a moment. Well at first. Then the dream proceed about all the gift wrap thingies and letters thingies that he gave, and straight away I knew even when I was dreaming that it is a dream. It is just NOT his thing.

Oh, I do not kid myself that perhaps the dream will come true since after that I also dreamt of some cannibalistic vampires disguised as airport workers roaming around in an airport and I killed them all with some weird aluminium weapon.

Yet, after I woke up. I was feeling at peace again. I am not angry anymore. I felt like somehow that dream itself had done its magic or cure. Lucky guy. He wouldn't even have to do anything and let my subsconcious self do all the things.

Why I was angry? It do not matter anymore. Since me being me, of course would just let it go then. But I know .... somehow this wouldn't be the end of it. Because somehow between the both of us this is almost like a game. I can't put a name to it. He wouldn't think so. I know. He's the more sensible one. I am never sensible if I can help it. So, I am sorry. Now... I am almost making sense now isnt it?

Rant. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. @$*@@#%#

Now, whut the hell? I stay silent you accused me of being out of it ? I speak, you fobbed me off and wanting me to shut up? What the hell is wrong? Make up your mind already. Either you be civil to another person or get them out of your face. I speak here because it seems this is the only medium some peoples will hear. Fine.

Then.. I am tired. I am really tired. Please, just marry me off to an old fob. Then he died early, I get his house and I can spend the rest of my days making voodoo dolls and throw darts at em.

Suffer the lil children. Muahahhaha.

Commenting is off for this post. Don't look for it.

Another Note:
Uuuuu.... blogging is good for anger management. Yeps yeps. Good activities. Make people stay out of prison.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Secret Seven?

Me me.. all me. I had been tagged by El. Thanks El, since I had run out of idea to blog ever since I am in 7th Heaven with my obsession. Right. Anyhow.. here it goes.

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. Volunteer work
2. Go to Pompeii
3. Have mindless sex. No? Ok. Change that to getting married.
4. Watch Phantom of The Opera or Chicago, live! (That meant the grand ol stage baby!)
5. Learn back all my lost musical skills
6. Pay back my loans!
7. Look him at the eye at least once.

Seven things I could do ( I do not quite understand this part):
1. Give more to charities , not own clothes welfare
2. Slim down more. OK. That is impossible. I change it to buy more expensive clothes!
3. Buy Chronicles of Narnia and finish it before the movie come out in December.
4. Buy new handphone.
5. Sleep less. Dream more.
6. Go out with more peoples.
7. Go to Langkawi with my friends!

Seven celebrity crushes:
1. Matsumoto Jun :: heart skip more than a beat I assure you ::
2. Fujiki Naohito :: swoon ::
3. Matthew McConaughey
4. Ashton Kutcher
5. Ryan Reynolds
6. Ewan McGregor
7. Angelina Jolie ( I know, I know.. but who wouldnt eh?)

Seven often repeated words:
1. Ape?
2. Whut?
3. Huh?
4. Hahahhaha
5. Hurmph
6. Eeeeeeewk~
7. .......................

Seven physical traits I look for in the opposite sex :
1. Tall
2. A bit fair
3. Nicely built shoulder
4. Gorgeous soft hair. Not too slick, just enough that I can rumple.
5. Strong looking hand
6. That little smile
7. The half smiling eyes

Seven tags go to ( OK, I dont think I have enough to go around.. so I tag 3 since thats my fav no!):
1. Kran
2. Taqi
3. Shima

Hey, I thought it was a breeze. But it can be quite hard when you sit down and really thought.. what a woman really want?

Monday, September 26, 2005


Its been a while. I have been obsessed with gathering back all Gokusen manga, anime and drama. Right now I have started on drama and manga. But not yet the anime. It is quite hard to find since it is licensed I think.

No matter. I will continue on. Now this will probably go on for a while. Since when I am in my obsession rampage, nothing much will comes into my mind. Quite a good thing considering my past obsession is bad for my health and sanity.

I was also busy in gathering back all my lost files. My harddisk was corrupted. All 80g of its. Pitiful. I lost all my mp3, my series and movies. Some of it I have yet to see. I especially felt the loss is my Buffy series on season 1 and 2. It was a fun season back then. Ridiculous laughable. And my Kill Bill and Resident Evil dvd-ripped too. Damn. I was gonna watch that again. And all my sex and the city season!!! Lament.. lament. How very bad. This should teach me a lesson to burn all my beloved season. But it is ever so tiring. And take so long. When I was in UTP, I do not have much time for it. Much less when I am working now.

And my mp3 files. Some of its are irreplaceable. I was also beside myself since I thought I had lost Ken Hirai Rakuen. Then I remembered that I had burn some of my mp3. All was not lost. Phew~ I am only trying to find back all mp3. Not all of them was lost thanks to the CD and my laziness to move the mp3 files from the IRC folder to the designated one. The series and movies will take so much time and money. I have to do without em.

But I will search for more series nonetheless. Ahead with my obsession now.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Gokusen 2

I had finished watching Gokusen 2. Can't. Get. Enough.
Now.. I really hate it to end because I miss Sawada Shin.. since I want Gokusen 3 to come out with Sawada Shin coming back too! The guys in Gokusen 2 was cool and more handsome! But still not the same as Sawada.
And now I need to work and work required around the clock concentration and no more being a dreamer-lazy-student, I have to snap myself out of reverie from revising back all the Gokusen drama series and fantasies that I would be able to see Sawada again.
And really really hope....will have Gokusen 3 with Sawada and Yankumi together geder.


Gokusen 2 Special

For some time now there has been rumours of a Gokusen 2 Special.. Well my dear Gokusen 2 fans... A special has been set to air on October 8th from 9:00pm to 11:30pm on NTV..According to Kame's JWeb post.. the cast of Gokusen 2 met on August 29th to film a student reunion.
It should never end!

Monday, September 19, 2005

Single and Unavailable

People are confused with the status of my socialness. Am I single? Yet why did I kept on seeing my ex?

I really hate talking about this. Because no matter how hard I try to explain it, peoples can't seems to make head nor tails about. I chose being single not because I want to see other peoples. I want to be free within myself. I do not have to answer to anyone on why did I do that. I don't have to invent a reason why I need to go out with other peoples.

The most confusing part about all these are.... I myself now do not want to meet other peoples. If peoples show an interest on me, I would feel almost... despise for them. And I do not want to feel that. And if the peoples who are interested, are interesting and I liked them, then after a while I just lost the feeling. The euphoria only lasted for a while. Then it felt the same. Humdrum.

I myself are not searching for any reason. And when peoples start questioning or gossiping... in the end I just could not care less. In the end, I myself would choose. Not them. They would not do anything but look. You might think what you want, but you do not know the beginning of it why I chose that choice. And I just let you think what you want because I know you never are interested in explanations. Yes, you. So let me choose in my own way, my own time and my own man. It can be anyone, but I kinda hope Orlando Bloom will be in the picture. Hahaha.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Its the little things that hurt!

Recently there had been a little excitement over the blogosphere of Malaysians and Singaporeans. I am of course just an observer.It is quite bewildering to see people hurl insults at each other and I have to say almost entertaining. I am riveted to my seat. Nothing grabs people attention like a little catfight here and there.

But not to make light of the situation, some of em does hurt. Perhaps it hurt our sensibilities, or even our sense. And the saying "Stick and stones can hurt me and words don't" are bullshit. Tell that to the multitude of unattractive peoples all around the world who have to bear the brunt of name calling such as Chubby Flabby or Wart Face. Worse still if people hurl insults to something you care about. Our beliefs, our pride, our family, our friends.

Some people proclaimed themselves as being fair and unbiased and take painstaking efforts to try to relate that image. Deep down, that biasness that had been seeded and growed upon by the peoples around us are bound to surface.

What I find interesting, some peoples try to be self righteous on their own blog but when it came to commenting on what some people might posted then you can see that biasness through and through. It does not take 1 essay to actually hurt. Only 1 thoughtless sentence from an obviously harmless comment can show what you are, sometimes. I say sometimes.. because I am painstakingly try to relate an image saying that you cannot truly know a person just from their opinion, sometimes!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

People Must Be Regulated

You think? Our management in the office had blocked our access to all forms of webmail. In short, anything with the words mail in it, it is blocked.

I think this is to improve.. productivity. Right. Probably we did pore over the yahoo/gmail/hotmail. But really, if a customer was yelling to you demanding why their software is slow/crash/not working when most probably their computer is crap anyway, what we are going to do?. But of course we can't say that. No, we have to grin and bear and just read crap email titled "Life is Beautiful". Usually I rarely on a email frenzy , unless the customer have an exceptional slow computer when it restarted. Or the blissful time when there are no calls.

The service level is low now. Perhaps. Maybe it is due to the overwhelming call or being exhausted being the last to know whatever in the McAfee scene and have to bear the front end attack of it.

Many of my colleagues are understandably enraged. We depends on these entertainment to help us through very bad times. And some very crucial information, I got it from emails too! My friends suddenly wanted to go out. We planned it through emails. I will be yet again even more unsociable.

It is bad, yeps! But the thing is.. people will still be unproductive if there are reason to be. Even in some dingy offices that have no internet connection, people will find a way to be unproductive even if it is hard to be.

In all, I am used to it. Because easy. We are after all IT peoples. We can always find other ways to go around the problems. Probably not getting to the yahoo mail. But other alternatives.

With my modem still unreplace, this is going to be a very long week!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Lightning Crashes

Got back from work around 10p.m yesterday. Was just about to go into the house and noticed my sister's fiance car blocking the gate. Great. No worries. Park on the side for a moment then. Notice my friend car in the house and the house is lighted up. Weird. It is 10 pm. Usually by this time the house is still quiet.

Went inside. Was met by my sister. She looks mildly anxious. And my friend so willingly do my bidding to park the car inside too. The alarm goes off my head. My sis said:

"Bad news..."

In my head went a thousand possibilities. Someone died? Mom? Grandma? Someone in an accident? Someone lose a job? The house burnt down? Wait. I am in the house. Pretty incredible what a mind can conceived in a matter of half a second. My sister's continued.

"There was a storm. Your computer had been struck. I think its the modem, but the computer is gone too.. "

She looks at me like I was gonna lose my head and ran out screaming. My friend is also now looking at me anxiously. I quickly made my way upstairs. And seen my sister's fiance is taking out all my computer 'insides'... (*tsk.. *tsk).

"How bad is the damage?" , Me saying lor
"Can't say.. have to look a bit further.."

My sister is entreating me to eat first. Hermm.. Decided to humour myself by playing with my niece first and then eating later. My sister fiance's Abg Yin take out the RAM to test if it is still OK. So overall on the condition of my computer? I have no idea. Have to go to Low Yat then this Sunday.

It seems like my sisters were afraid I was freaking out. In truth.. I am not! I am a bummed out, yes. But still, there's nothing to be done about it. Unless my LCD monitor is gone too, then probably I will still be in my bed right now and sucking my thumb.

They were all so anxious and were hoping that I will just get to sleep after getting back from the work and maybe the computer will miraculously healed itself. Fat hope on both! I think they think after knowing my computer had 'rosak', I will fling myself out from the window. Do I look that computer-internet-addicted to you?

Btw.. this means less blogging activities!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Short and Small

Look what The Star have:

"There are now some 970,000 Perodua vehicles on the road. The Kancil model is the most popular with 400,000 units sold"

I could almost swear there are almost a million out there. Only 400,000? Weirdness. Definitely some conspiracy thingies going on here.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Just For Kicks

Contemplating.. everything else.

I felt like I am in a rut. Feel tired, slightly bored and no spirit for anything else. When I bought some new clothes, I was thinking. "What is this for?". Dress up to shop some more? It is like a vicious cycle.

I rarely go out now and socialize. All I ever felt like doing is sleeping and clicking. I felt no more in primping myself up and trying to look my best. However sometimes I do strain myself for it. Yet, it lack the lustre.

How can everybody else is happy and contented but I am not?

Every Lil Thing

It had come yet again when I am at loss on what to blog about. There are so many topics in the whole world. My feeling? My thoughts? My observation? As some peoples might say.. it is my damn blog and I can post whatever damn topic I want to. So let's... blog insensibly but in a clear manner. How? I will just outline the topic very clearly and ramble on.

Tiredness. (Clear aight?)
I received an email some weeks/days ago about a quiz asking 'Are You Depressed?". How do I score? I am very much depressed to the point of clinically depressed and are recommended to seek help. That is not good at all. I always received good quiz marks. The type that in Cleo.. the ranging from "Are You Knowledgeable in ..Ehem..?", "Are You Psycho?", "Are You Co-Dependent?"... I meant I always got the result saying along the line that I am normal and can live with other humans. I am dissapointed at my ability to answer mind boggling quiz now.

Wedding Card.
I just got back from Johor and lounging in the sofa. My sis and her fiance are laughing at a wedding card. She tossed it to me so that I can joined in. And I laughed too. Honestly, it is as bad as a wedding card goes. I had seen some really original and beautiful one, (a scroll and photo album..) but I rarely see an ugly one. Most people who lacks originality/budget/could not give a damn.. will just opted for a simple wedding card. But these couple, not only did they put their picture on it but the colors itself... bright red? The design looks some cheap Valentine card that Ocean or Jusco might sell. And the couple .The would be bride.. was so mercilessly poke fun at by us. Her make up, her ear and arr.. she looked 'manly' , even more so that the bridegroom hugging her in the picture. Now.. to not feel my own medicine.. I will not put my picture in my wedding card!

I went back to JB as I mentioned. Seen that my mom had decorated her built-in panelling thingies. With our pictures, some medals, her various collection of non-describable items. And to my delight, she had gotten out all of my books from my school years. Ohhh.. all those simple love stories I love to read (Boy Meet Girl, Invite for A Pizza, Kiss, Happy Forever ), my collection of L.M Montgomery/Enid Blyton ( did I mentioned I am sucker for young adults/children classic books.. even till now!), my R.L Stine/ Christopher Pike books/Nancy Drew series (my primary schoolish reading materials).
And this one book. I remembered when I was in standard 2. My dad bought me a book, about a girl discovering herself. It is all about first love , first sex and pregnancy. I don't think so my dad know the content though, I think he just pick it up. Now.. a standard 2 girl reading about that? I did finished it. Only that it didnt make much sense then. I read it again when I was in secondary.. then I think I might understand. But still the book is deep... and frightening. I cant remember the title of the book now nor the author. Its not popular or anything. Just something to ponder about.
And I am still continuously reading and buying books. I have to buy a really large bookcase when I got a house of my own. Right now am reading Michael Crichton, Airframe. My thoughts on it.. not my cup of tea. Too much engineering jargon. Peoples know I hate engineering jargon and stuffs. How the hell did I kept on entangling myself with engineering peoples... I have to blame UTP for that.

Kolej Matrikulasi Melaka
Before heading to KL. Hantar my brother there. Pitiful state of place. The padang is not grassy, but filled with 'kemuncup', (I have no idea what the English name are). The hostel looks like something of a flat in a Hong Kong slums. How different compared to the UITM that is near it. Yet, I know the students there must have love their place to bits even though they may not felt like it the first few months. How well did I know the feeling!

I had edited something. I had not posted it. More like write it then delete it. Feeling angry to self is evaporated. Knowing it does me no good. Reading it again brings fresh stabs of pain... yet I just want to convince myself... It is not a dream. It must had not been one. Because dreams come true. So I will put the topic as.... Stupid Lil Me. Hurray... for whatever. I can opt to cheer myself since it is my bloody damn blog (sarcasm and pun intended).

So that's that.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Tanggal 31... Bulan 8 ....57.. Merdeka.. Merdeka..

Alamak.. Saya akan cuba berbelog dalam Bahasa Melayu, kerana saya cuba mengikuti Kempen Vincent Mari Berbelog Dalam BM. Saya tidak ade 'banner' sebab malas laa nak upload. Alaa.. macam skema je ayat. Tapi tidak mengapa.. akan ku cuba jua.. cewah!

Rase pelik bila cuba nak menaip dalam BM. Mungkin sebab dah biasa hidup 5 6 tahun, menaip report, exam dan sebagainya dalam English. Bila tiba BM.. waduh.... Dalam kepala pon secara otomatik akan terpikir ayat English untuk menaip. Oleh dengan itu, saya pon menaip perlahan aje.

Nak kata segan menaip dalam Bahasa Melayu.. tak jugak.. sebab bahasa percakapan hari-hari memanglah Bahasa Melayu.. siap ade 'slang' Klate, Kedah, Nogori jugak daku masukkan. Tapi hendak buat camner, bile tiba menaip dan membaca , lagi selesa dalam English. Mungkin sebab tu lah kebanyakkan pelajar Melayu ada masalah nak 'spikang' English tapi report A OK aje.

Berbalik kepada topik di atas. Lagu Sudirman tu. Antara lagu-lagu patriotik yang paling digemarilah. Fikir balik... tak jugak. Rasanya.. hanya itulah lagu patriotik yang diminati kecuali Negaraku la kan. Masa-masa zaman sekolah dulu... bile tiba 31 Ogos, mesti lagu itulah yang dinyanyikan (lebih kepada menjerit la sebenarnya). Siap lompat-lompat atas bangku lagi dulu sambil lambai-lambai bendera Malaysia bagai nak rak. Nasib baik zaman tu kurus lagi. Kalau tak .. tak lamalah hayat bangku tu.

Dulu paling seronok sambut merdeka.. zaman sekolah. Biasalah kan.. agenda sekolah hendak menaikkan semangat patriotik di kalangan pelajar sebelum kita semua membesar jadi orang yg sombong dan bongkak dan tak ingat dulu masa kecik makan nasik dan budu/tempoyak/tempe/ulam. Banyak je aktiviti pertandingan menulis sajak, syair, pantun kemerdekaan. Takdelah pulak saya sibuk-sibuk nak masuk skali , tapi seronok juga tengok orang lain bertanding. Kemudian paling saya suka lakonan drama la. Seronok tengok kawan-kawan ini pakai baju ngarut-ngarut berlakon ala-ala drama swasta TV1. Lagi seronok kalau join sekali. Tak kisahlah jadi AJK ke, tuan direktor ke, ekstra yang jadi tukang sapu sampah ke.

Masa duduk asrama dulu pon.. lagilah seronok. Boleh tidur lepas pukul sebelas.. (macam lah tak biasa....curi-curi phone) bile jam tunjuk detik pukul 12.00 tengah malam aje..bergemalah Dewan Sekolah Sains Kota Tinggi tu.. Merdeka! Merdeka! Mungkin zaman umur-umur 16 17 tahun kita tidak berapa faham erti patriotik... tapi seronok ape! Lompat-lompat sana sini, lari-lari (arrr.. betul ke aku lari-lari dengan baju kurung ni kat asrama) .. jerit-jerit. Lepas tu hamik~ Kena hukum diri kat luar asrama dengan warden sebab warden suspek ade budak 'beromen' dekat dalam bilik jahitan. Warden tak sempat nak tangkap almaklumlah.. badan gempal-gempal belaka...

Sebenar-benarnye.. memang ade budak dalam bilik jahitan tu. Tapi kedua-duanya perempuan. Die orang malas aje nak masuk dewan so duduk lah kat bilik jahitan tu. Sebab salah seorangnye rambut pendek, sorang lagi rambut panjang..warden pon terus la pikir ke arah tu. Haihh.. warden-warden ni asik pikir serong je tak habis-habis. Tapi sebab die orang tak nak mengaku. Satu blok asrama tu la kena. Punye la dah biasa kena hukum ngan warden.. so satu asrama selamba je la tidur kat luar sekejab. Macam mana saya boleh tahu perkara sebenar? Sebab budak-budak yandg dalam bilik jahitan itu adalah adik-adik junior kesayangan saya yang sama dorm. Sebab nak protect nama dorm la jugak (nama dorm sudah banyak kali tercemar atas perbuatan-perbuatan kami yang rasional), kemudian sebab bukannya besar sangat salah pon, saya cakap tak apalah. Die orang cerita pon bila dah lepas, malas la nak memanjangkan episod. Nanti tak pasal-pasal kena hukum balik. Warden-warden punya hukuman kadang-kadang tak masuk akal jugak.

Kelakar kan fikir balik semua kisah-kisah lama ini. Terutamanya zaman sekolah. Namun memang tak boleh dinafikan memang seronok sambut merdeka zaman sekolah ini. Ape orang cakap ...'terasa'. Sekarang ini kalo nak rasa balik semangat, keseronokan macam itu dulu untuk Hari Merdeka ini, kena lah cari dalam diri sendiri.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Receiving the Scroll - Day 4

Continuing.. I am becoming rather bored. Anyhow.. stay committed dila!

I was way tired when waking up for the Convocation Days... so I woke up with eyes looking rather 'panda'-ish. And I have no moods to put on make up or concealer.. so just what the heck. Let today's good mood replace my 'panda'-ish looking eyes. Instead of wearing very pwitty dwess, I just opted for a simple baju kurung so it is easier for us to wait in the heat.

Thought that we were suppose to go by car and park somewhere near where we were suppose to wait. Then before we can drive out from the hostel area the Pak Guard, was guarding the way out! He asked us to park near the Duyung hostel and walked to the Chancellor Hall. We are all hungry, bleary eyed and still sluggish. But unless we ram down the Pak Guard ( ooohh.. temptationss..) , so we need to park our car and walked with our heavy garb all the way to Pocket D.

When we got there, my friends were now ravenous and they made their way to the so called cafe where they thought they had been informed there are breakfast. Alas, they are none! Some of em are pretty furious and said that if they knew.. we would had bought something to eat and drink. So we wait around the Pocket D ... thirsty,tired,numb. Some of em hot since some of them have to stand where the sun is shining.. wooo. We should be coming in at 9am, but we were suppose to stand around there around 7 am? Sheesh~ So all of us sat around some cross legged, some sat near the bench. Then it was time to go in. I have no idea but suddenly my mortar board (is it spelt right? who cares...), my hat la senang; keeps on wanting to slide from top of head. Stupid thing. Suddenly when we just start to go in, my head shrunk? I have no idea, but it kept on falling off!! It is way too late to do anything about it so .. walk like an Egyptian, I meant like a long ago ladies who practice to walk around with books on top of head.

Went into the hall, scan around to look for my mom. Fat hope with precarious hat on top of head. So we all then just slumped into our seat , looking through the convocation graduates list. It is an enjoyment to know who got First Class or 2nd Class, ... if the goody two shoes you always seen walking around with books and always looked frowningly at you manage to get First Class or are they just in the same class as I am.

The ceremony went quite fast. Without realizing they are calling out the names of the graduates. Since my number is 365... so..still waiting. But I was still busying myself trying to straighten my stupid hat thing. Some bloody girl knocked it off my head... and without apologizing. Ughhh..hate those type of peoples.. the one that bump into you and just charged straight ahead without mumbling sorry or anything like they have 'cirit-birit' or something.

Then it came the Business Information System turn.. uhh.. scared scared. Of course la sensible peoples will think there's nothing to be scared about. Walk, take scroll, smiled, said thank you, walk. Simple aight? But.. what if I had my heels suddenly snap? What if I suddenly falls flat into my face? What if I stumbled on some damn plants/carpet/Dr Mahathir feet? I was feeling giddy... (being starved can do that to me), walked happily to take my scroll, then I take my scroll. Everything was fine. Not! My damn hat is just starting to slip and almost fell down, I gingerly held it while whispering furiously at Dr Mahathir ..

"Dah nak jatuh..".(Its gonna fall off)

Life precious moment could not get more wrong than that. Argh.. Now I had ruined a photographic moment. Not only I am non-photogenic, I am also a failure to be photographic decently. (Lament.. lament). I cannot remembered much after that... some singing.. some speech about not making bribery a habit.. Then it almost came to an end by singing Negaraku anthem. When I was at school, I used to hate singing Negaraku. It is so slow. But when I left school, I missed it. And now singing it again it make me appreciate the schools and government effort to make us sing it again and again and again... it make me felt almost patriotic. (A correct sentiment for August, eh)

Ceremony over. Photography session start. Call my sis to look for my family, and when trying to look around, suddenly somebody call my name softly from behind. I started, then see a good friend was giving me back flowers. I still felt bad till today that I did not manage to get a picture with him or say anything... because I still can't find my family and I got no camera with me and I am in a hurry. Then managed to find my mom and my sis near the library, they were delighted that I got flowers since they didn't buy any. Typical. Nonetheless, my sis did said she tried. Later on manage to find my other sister's and her hubby. My mom was wanting to get a picture at the stage, so we went there in spite the annoucement they are closing the hall. Man... they are not that accommodating eh. Anyway.. snapped about hundreds of pictures and running around chasing my lil niece. So it was a nice day. With my sis camera and Abg Yin very big camera... I felt almost uncomfortable. And since I had paid for the family photo, I waste my day queuing (I can never spelt queue properly) for it. First I tried to wait in the air conditioned hall, but then the photographer was undeniably slow, so I just took a picture outside with my family. Hell, at least the lighting is good even though its hot. Therefore... I am not looking forward to any of my pictures at my graduation!!!

Then my sister, niece and her husband and my mom opted to go back early so that my niece wont throw a fuss. While my other sister Kak Lina and her fiance had to wait for me for ages while I pack. I pack quietly in own room.. trying hard to not feel that disappointed.. why? Oh I do not know.. tell me myself.

Then with shima, we packed our various thing and head back to KL. It felt sad to leave UTP. As Taqi said.. it is full of memories. But I will be coming back, at least for all my other friends who will be graduating next year.

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