Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Fellowship of the Girls

Girls are such catty creatures. You noticed how shows like The Bachelor and America's Next Top Model sells? Through cattiness. I meant yeah its all fine to watch somebody end up with that good for nothing playboy or if the gawky girl really can be a model. But come on. The competition is all the more interesting with a little spice around. The backstabbing unflowering. The 'laser' words thrown in here and there. The oh so mild sarcasm. That's why there are men. To keep us balance and from killing each other.

You can see some girls is such a demure little thing. But behind the walls she is the one yodelling away saying 1001 swear words. I swear this kinda girls exist.

Fine. Yodell in front of us and go all breathless and breathy in front of the guys. We talked. You can be damn sure we talk. However, if you hurt us as I'll say whats worst than a woman scorn? Another really pissed off woman scorn.

I understand girlfriends and all the rules. Dont ever ever take your friend's boyfriend away. Give support when she have a crush and put her down a little so to keep the hope bearable. Bitch about each other to each other. Never bitch to anyone else. Share all trinkets and stuffs and cosmetics but don't tiru your friend off.

Pretty simple aight? But some of the worst thing I have ever faced is the one being brought by a so called friend. Girlfriends nonetheless. One who I laugh and tell things too.

I remembered a girl (no longer my friend since that day) who shouted at me for being selfish and how I hold everybody down and I shouldn't call myself a friend. In the middle of the mall. Next to a crowded escalator. The reason? Our group of friends (consisting of 8 to 9 girls) were going out for some things, and I got a curfew. Need to get back before 7pm. Yeah, I am pretty domesticated, then. I just informed S I gotta go now and will catch the bus myself. And suddenly all hell break loose in front me. She was shouting herself hoarse. I was too dumbfounded to reply. Every eyes must be on me. All I did just look at her in disbelieved. In my head, she must have hate me from the beginning. She must had shouted for 5 to 10 minutes. I never know.

After she had paused and look a little out of breath, all I said, " So you are finish?" and leaved in search for my other friends (we were separated to 2 groups when got to the mall) who were shopping. My face must have betrayed me when I got to them telling them I am leaving. My friend F demanded to know whats the hell wrong. I summarized what happens and my other friend T who was there and followed me , nodded mutely and added in a few words.

F went scouring for S in the mall there and then , of course pulling me along. F is a pretty hot tempered person so I kinda went with her anxiously since I am among the mild one among my friend. (They would laugh themselves silly if reading this. Shut up. I am mild! :p) . You don't wanna mess with her when she is mad.

If what happened between S and me were like America attack on Iraq; sudden and no defense whatsoever, what happened between S and F is like when Germany meet France in WW2. Its like the clash of the titans since these 2 are the most hot tempered ones in our group. I can't keep track of all the words and insult being thrown to each other. F kept on saying" You shouted at Dila, bla bla bla?" and "You are the inconsiderate one..., kan Dila " and ALL dirty laundries and laundered there and then. And I just wished that the earth would opened up and swallow me whole. Oh, I forgot to mention. We manage to stage this scene next to the escalator, again. We were red faced and whispered "Dah dah la tu... org tengok ni" (don't a crowd love a little girl fights, all there is left of is pulling hair and mud or Jell O to make the scene complete) , and my friend A is crying openly asking us to stop. But its like we were transfixed. Never had we seen such storm of force.

I don't remember how it all ends. What I remembered (or suddenly remembered since I tend to block unpleasant memories) is that F did get the last word and then dragged me and the mortified ones to a taxi and back home.

It all went spiralling down then. Not our group of friends. We are as strong as ever now. But our friendship with her. We decided to boycott her. No one shall talk to her ever again. (Schoolgirls remember). She have to go back alone and learnt her lesson alone. Of course I have to be the most soft hearted one. Since I can see how lonely she is. And S realized this.

So one day, she asked me to see her. (tarik to be the word). I think I remembered seeing my friends was frozen midaction when they saw S taking my hand. She sat me down at class (By the way all of our gang of friends in one class). And suddenly, she flung down her head and cried out sobbing at my shoulder, (literally. My shoulder was basah lorrr at the time)

"Dila, kenapa sume orang treat aku camni?. Aku tak paham ape aku buat salah". Uhh.. I think I know, I think. My friends were looking at me , gaping.
"Sampai hati F buat aku camni", F was throwing daggerlike stares. I was feeling the heat.
" Ko aje la yang baik hati tegur aku". I patted her hands gingerly.
"You are truly a friend"

I. Am. At. A. Loss. Of. Words. She begged me to put in a good words about her to F. Never an apology to me. Not a word regarding what she had said to me. Never. Ever. Its like that chapter in the mall had been burnt off her memory.

F and my other friends then shred me to pieces for being too nice. Heh. But S did looked so pitiful and angry though I were, it's kinda hard to see that. And of course later WW3 erupted.

Things happened what is to be the end of things. I guess we just got sick of it all and needs to end it once and for all. Where it happened? Less crowded place. But we couldn't find a better audience. In front our classes. I honestly can't remember what triggers it. But it was a mess. No pulling hair or throwing things? Wait. I think they are. Oh. That was me and another story. Anyhow the words are harsher. More insinuations, more fingers pointing. More girls crying left and right. Some of us stay at the door resolutely daring anyone to go out and look for a teacher. The boys were petrified and stayed at the end of classes. If they could climb wall, I believe they would. Before that they closed all the windows since peoples from other classes were now coming out to hear and see whats going on. A teacher did came at the end and we were counselled and lectured about. That was the end of the fight. We ended our boycott. I think we ourselves heaved a big sigh of relieve. You cannot outlast a feeling of anger. It tend to wear you out.

But her and me are never the same. So does the rest. Our group is still together. Some of us grew apart , but we do remain close. But she is never in the gang anymore. She is no longer a part of us.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

A piece of life

There are 2 items in the paper that caught my attention today (well yesterday, but lets set aside technicalities will we).

One of them is the dissatisfaction of bank's customer regarding the implementation of a 5 working days a week for bank customer's. Many peoples are writing in expressing their protest for this. Not really a protest but you know what I meant. Some of them suggest an alternate week working or improved in infrastructure or technology. Some of these view do have a point. Some of them are just expressing disbelief on the bank itself in installing the do it yourself kiosk but putting these kiosks inside the bank hall itself. If the bank is close, it is just off limit and served as another decoration in the hall . Kinda beat the purpose, right. Anyhow I guess I do understand both of the sides. The bank staffs and the customers.

I used to work briefly at a bank. Have to work on Saturday really sucks. I meant, no happy happy hours in Friday right? You missed precious time there. And you feel really sluggish on Saturday. You kept on looking at the clock wishing the hands would just flew to show 12.30pm. Not to mention, no sleeping in late. Oh the sweet luxury had been taken so cruelly away from you. We are of course only humans.

Then I changed work where I work Monday to Friday, where sometimes you have no time to go to the bank. Either to the bank you go or go hungry and sweating yourself out running to the office not to be late in lunch hour time. That is if the bank is nearby, like 10 minute walk. 15 minutes or 20 minutes walk? You might as well forget it. You won't reach your office in time and then would get an earful from the boss. Thank God for online banking.

But I do not need to inform that of course there is limitation. Sometimes you need to deal directly with the bank staff's itself. Go to the bank, find place to park, filled out repetitive boring forms, wait for the longest time, just for the pleasure for more depletion of money for some functions which you just could not find the button to click at on your online banking websites. Saturday then it is the only time you can find to go to the bank and do all these . Its no great joy to the customer too. We much prefer to do different fun fun things. Like jogging sleeping.

So this implementation is just not feasible at this moment. Unless we can do almost anything just a click away. Which I seriously doubt in seeing happening this soon. If they still go ahead for this, I guess all those pesky payments and opening accounts and stuffs will just have to wait. Forever.

The second items is the murder of a young girl in my very own hometown neighbourhood. Bandar Baru Uda. Reading about it, makes me sad. She is just so young. Secondary school girl. Murdered and then thrown into a drain. It didn't mention the location of the exact place. Knowing my own neighbourhood, I kinda get the idea where such isolated drains can be at to serve such a perfect place and opportunities for such miserable scoundrels of the earth. Humans are such animals sometimes.

My fingers felt so heavy to type this. I guess since its strike so close to home and also to my heart. How horrible it is to be this girl's family. For the grief and disbelief they are facing. From what I read she is last heard and seen after leaving her house on her way to school at 5.30 a.m. I believed she was waiting for the bus. The usual bus that I used to take myself when I used to attend the school near to the poor girl's school. At the usual time that I used to leave home too, to get to the school in time.

At 5.30 - 6.00 am. You think after azan Subuh were heard, you are safe? Cars and people are even scarcer at this time than at 3am in the morning. I remembered all the men I encountered on my way to wait for the bus. How they wait in dark corners. Calling you, looking at you, gathering all your routines. How your heart stopped when they came near. How heavy your feet feel when a car stopped near you at this time offering for rides and you know they don't meant to get you to your destination. How your hands trembled when you learnt you need to hold that piece of rock all the way to the bus stop.

I don't know what to say more. My heart goes out to the girl and her family. I felt the peoples who had done this will get what's coming to them. But if they do, will they remember that moment? Will they actually regret what they had done? Would the deed haunt them until the day they dies? Or they will just laugh and forget it and live their life posing as respectable citizen?

Be safe girls.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

So Life Goes On

As people says.

I wondered.

The older we get. The wiser we are? Are we? Or the young one at hearts are the one who really lives?

Twice bitten, once shy? Or have a little hope?

Which is which. Someone called me a decidophobia. So many things gone wrong when I had decide. So many things goes wrong when I let it happens.

I goes on in uncertainty. Rather than face the dread, the horrible realization. I do not want to wake up one day, sinking, thinking I rather died than face this day. Day by day. Yet sometimes I woke up restless. Wishing this would end.

The above do not make sense right? Perhaps the right peoples reading it would think it made a whole lot of sense.

You want to know what I want? Imagine this.

You are had been walking high and low in the hot scorching sun. The heat was unbearable. The thoughts of an ice cold drink is irresistible. Yet you walked on. Left and right. You see peoples around you holding their own glasses. Drinking , sipping , laughing. And you then reached your place. The ice cold glass of drink water is waiting for you. You forgot all. You reached out and take it. Greedily gulping it down, quenching your thirst. Trickles of the ice cold water flowed down from the corner of your mouth down to your neck, trailing a cooling sensation.

Let just says, it is something like that.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Where tying the knots... is harder.

Now. Gals. Face it. The older we get, the lesser our circles of admirers are. The pool are getting smaller and smaller, and the guys pool are getting bigger. But hell.. if you want to widen the pool a bit.. be my guest. As to quote Whose Line Is It Anyway , "If you know what I mean".

But of course being usually a straight girl, I am of course are facing this reality too. However hold on your horses, if you wanna say that its about time that I realize that since ... hello... I am still in my early twenties. Still got time to shake and make my future before I bid goodbye to singlehood.

Most Asian parents felt it is necessary to put a little pressure on their daughters who had just finish studying on the question of marriages. If it do not come from the parents, you can be damn sure to hear it from the other members of the family. The not even close one where you only meet every Raya. Bleurgh.

We are young. We are free. So we treat all those to just talks and buzz. But, I also looked around me in seeing the more harsher reality. The old maids. The one that had been left on the shelf. The one who cringed when one of the makciks carelessly asked for the 10,000 times, years after years, when is your turn . The one where who hold their head seeing the other makciks glanced meaningfully and pityingly at them after hearing that thoughtless makcik ask the question. The one where the young one wondered whats their past love life might had been and the old fidgeted in trying to find the match. Any match.

The matchmaker. Our family were always laughing on their antics in trying find a match to whomever she might think are suitable. Like once, somehow one of this matchmaker are looking for a guy to match up with this colleague of her. She must had run out of decent guys. So the matchmaker got her son to ask his teacher if he was single. Oh.. what wouldnt I give to see the teacher face when a 10 year old ask ,
"Cikgu, mak saya suruh tanye kalau cikgu ni dah kahwin ke tak?"
( Translation: My mom wanted to know if you are married ? )

Erk. And after she knew that he is single, she gave him some home cooked foods and kuih for a little while. And she even wrote a letter to the teacher asking her son to give it to him ( I have no idea what is the content of the letter, probably explaining her intention kut) ! Oh.. and by the way it didn't work out. I believe the teacher was a little freaked out.

You gotta gave her credit for that. One of the most determined matchmaker I ever met.

But would the girls that didn't ask for this matchmaking scheme appreciate this? I myself wouldn't like to imagine myself in that position. And let's face it, the little pool that are available aint that attractive anyway. There must be a catch somewhere right. Did not all girls wanted a fairytale ending to their life? Nonetheless to quote another words
" You are not Puteri Gunung ..." . So what are the options available?

If you are a successful career woman.. yes you can carved your life. Be single. Peoples might talked. But they talked a little bit softer. Behind you.

If you are living with the family with a bleak future and no career . What can you possibly do ? Would you actually want to take the widower with the 10 kids? Or that guy who nobody really wants but somehow think you might be a good housekeeper for him?

Tough decision.

And what if.. somehow one of these heart get broken because the other party adamantly say no. Somehow a hope is raised and yet before it see sunshine it is crushed, again. To go and tell somebody that other party refused.

Guess.. the ayat " Ala.. kalau susah sangat, suruh mak je carikan ", is actually more susah (complicated) than you might think eh?

Thursday, January 19, 2006

So the sign keeps on screaming..

It is so weird. I always have this gory dreams. What's weirder these gory dreams always is connected with shopping or I am at a mall. Is it like a sign somewhere trying to say I might be murdered by zombies or maniacs while shopping; kinda like Land of the Dead scenes where the zombies are trying to get to the shopping avenues and eats all the peoples there.

There you are... picking your choices either you want to opt for the jeans with the cool back pocket design or the jeans that have just the right stonewash color you want and Gahhhhhh! Came a zombie tearing through the racks of clothes, wanting a piece of you.

Last night gory dreams was, there is some kind of demon warlike thingies that like to cut peoples head off. I have no idea why he wants to cut my head. I meant he don't necessarily cut peoples head off for fun. But there is a reason for that. I think and think. I forgot. It might be because we resurrect him from his pit or hole or something or I think we are just there to witness it since he is so ugly when first appeared . This creature I dreamt of got horns and all and the face goes all pointy and have sharp razor teeth. And because of that the vain and ungrateful git chose to kill us. He went and chased us with his sword. And when we are hiding, he turned into this Antonio Banderas lookalike, his hair all curly and touching his shoulder, wearing a 3 piece and goes all charming to the peoples asking where we are. I think in the end, we manage to kill him. Ahh.. now I remember. We killed him using his own sword.
( I know this is too weird for you peoples to digest.. but hey.. it is after all a dream)

The thing is.. all the time when we were hiding or running away. It is always in a shopping mall. I meant you gotta admit. The mall is a good place to hide. You got all this beds and clothes and racks and partitions. I meant there we were running away, ducking, sliding, crawling in a mall. Oh , in case you are wondering I do not know the peoples in my dream last night.

And many of my gory dreams involved the mall! Alien invasion and shooting down humans with laser ? Where? In the mall of course. Somebody was trying to kill me with an axe.. where do I run in circles? In the mall! Vampire cannibal thingies hunting around for peoples after dark and have its base operation on a restaurant shop .. situated where else but the mall! And I the restaurant shop that I dreamt of, suddenly came real to me when I was walking at Ikano Power Centre! It is the same. I almost stop dead in my track and gaped at that shop in front of peoples ! Looking at the shop gave me goosebumps now. I meant.. don't be silly la Dila. Vampire cannibalistic thingies that love meaty peoples don't exist. Right.

So is it some kind of a sign? Stop shopping or be killed? Naahhh... Probably a sign that I should get better acquainted with shopping malls in case of alien/zombies/vampires attack. You never know.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Tadaima ~

Got back today. A bit tired. Somewhat numbing. And no pics. Heh. So I don't feel the need to post a long entry. I guess, thats why my sentence a bit short. Or my brain refused to function normally.

Nonetheless lets list down somewhat valuable lessons I learn during my trip to Kedah for my sister wedding.

1. Ant bites are particularly painful and leaves a stinging pain and reddish mark. So what do you peoples meant by " Macam kena gigit semut je "?

2. It is not always wise to draw out large amount of money. It doesn't stay large and depleted alarmingly.

3. It is sometimes wise to bring own mother when shopping. She will encourage to spend more (since you are not using her money anymore) . Plus you would not have to heard her exclaimed , "What? Another pair of jeans/pants/blouse/clothes/bag again!"

4. Padang Besar is not that nice as the one in Kelantan. However that do not deter me from buying 3 clothes, 1 bracelets and few other things I forgot.

5. Gold is in. Thin, thin one.

6. The sofa can be a comfortable place to sleep in. And thank Heaven I do not sleep talk.

7. I can't be a pengapit to taller peoples. Can't hold the umbrella.

8. It is that easy to be strangely happy in a matter of a glance.

9. Kedah is exceptionally hot but windy. I think I am darker now ( Squint at own hands)

10. Travelling with family that always provide lots of foods and encourage you to eat more can undo the hard work you had put in to lose weight for the past 3 months. :: Wail ::

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Hot Gossip Anyone?

I am as guilty as the next girl. I have to confess this. I am sometimes ashamed of it. But heck. A girl have to have a pastime.

I like celebrity gossip. There. Its not that bad. Oh and I don't look into those Pancaindera or Mangga or what-other-tabloid-gossip-filled-magazine. I love those Hollywood gossip. There are so juicy and full of spice and human drama. (You won't find our local artist saying they had an affair with his children nanny) . I just loved reading MSN gossip when I get to work. Kinda like a cup of coffee before starting.

The biggest drama in our local scene is when Erra and Yusry separated. Full stop. Only that is worth mentioning and it even make it to our frontpage headline of our so called respectable newspaper much to my disgust. Why they can't put the news in a more suitable section? Of course it lack the details or anything. But I guess that is even more informable and gossiper (if such words exist) than the usual gossip column.

" Pelakon A ni dikhabarkan pergi minum-minum, mabuk-mabuk, di sebuah disko Z. "

"Penyanyi B ni berkahwin senyap2 dengan Dato Y, tanpa pengetahuan isteri datuknya. Kemudian si isteri Datuk Y ni datang la ke gerai Penyanyi B ni mengamuk dan mencerca... "

" Penyanyi C dan Penyanyi D ini khabarnya bermesra-mesra, tak nampak macam kawan biasa. Pegang2 tangan, peluk-peluk. Ini yang peminat yg memberitahu saya.."

I meant come on laaa. Who the hell is A, B, C, D ? Of course they always said,
"Kami harap dengan niat memberitahu cerita ini supaya Pelakon/Penyanyi A - Z akan sedar akan kesilapan mereka".

That is just bulls. If they care enough, they would tell the guilty parties to their face. At least hint on it. Sometimes it is just so vague.... That I believe once it even created more gossip where peoples point the finger at this one unfortunate victim who is just as clueless and left defending herself at Melodi. That is why I like Melodi. (The only gossip media thingies I kinda approved). They literally chased the artist down. Ahh.. the path of a true paparazzi are yet to come to Malaysia.

You want to be a gossip columnist? Have more backbone to your writing.

And now.. the latest paparazzi news that is to shook us down. Hollywood I meant. You wouldnt expect me to announce :
"Pelakon A dikhabarkan sekarang adalah tunang Dato' XYZ?"
(nose crinkling up in disgust)

Okay. Resume. My all time favorite actress and sex bomb is preggy. You haven't heard? You lived on Mars I assume. Ok. Angelina Jolie laa. I won't say it is true. It can be true. But unless I see the bulge and Brad Pitt lovingly pet Angelina tummy and saying how they gonna make great parents and even better parents to their adopted children, I will still have that doubt that this is just some over enthusiastic peoples trying to get some rise or excitement after meeting the sex bomb herself.

Now the kid who will have the gene pool of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, gonna be one hell of a looker. That is of course , if the DNA will be kind and do not let all the bad side shine through.

I don't care so much for Brad Pitt as I am in love with Angelina Jolie. I meant of course it is sad and all that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt no longer together. I do like Jennifer Aniston tolerably well. She is cute. But what is not to love leer about this!

Picture curik at: msn.com site

If I am butt ugly and in need of plastic surgery and have tonnes of money. I will make myself looking as above!

Woah! Total celebrity girly giddiness. But yeah. I do love reading all this gossip nonsense. Especially the one from Msn.com and of course my new favorite blog; Pink is the New Blog. Lots of pictures of actors/actresses/singers looking and behaving like mere mortals. That is enough to cheer up my day!

P/S: And also yeah. For UTPians who had just got their result. Congratulations! You got through somehow. If you don't.. well let just say Education ain't everything.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Hari Raya Haji of a So Called Workaholic Blogger

Today is Raya Haji. Today I worked. Big Deal. New Year also work, Christmas work, Merdeka Day also work and Chinese New Year I will be working too no doubt. No Biggies...

I woke up early. Lazily looked at my computer. See downloading progress of TV series and JDo. Looked at alarm system at home and turn it off. Definitely do not need Security Company to call early in the morning and asked if any burglar had ravaged our house or not. Then I curled up on bed, thinking to myself.. EL la today, MC laa.. don't wanna work, wanna be a lazy bugger . Also doing smsing and replying sms on "Selamat Aidiladha ". Yeah.. Selamat Hari Raya AidilAdha to you too. Thinking to myself if only I have cornflakes at home. You know, the feast of pagi raya. Cornflakes is enough la. However our neighbour makcik sebelah who is also a Johorean gave us some Nasi Tomato and Sayur Lodeh. Yeah! Eat eat.... My sister was still busily cooking her Chicken Curry even when I had gone to work. Eleh, sis. See.. nasib baik makcik kasi nasik or I would still be waiting for your chicken curry.

At noon when I came, Khairan showed the pics of Shai mockingly crying at a tiang somewhere on the vicinity of KLCC. They were heading there for Solat Sunat AidilAdha. They have time to have fun too I guess, looking at the pics. No wonder the Malay guys at the office are all wearing Baju Melayu. Shai wore songkok too. Peoples are in a slightly bad mood, because it is a holiday. Whats worse than working in a holiday? Working in a holiday mood while in another part of the world everything does not ceased to halt just because Malaysia have holiday today and somehow manage to push itself to be a busy day. Customers call making my blood boiled and simmered, emails grew alarmingly (no matter how much I replied, it stayed at the number 123, the taking calls in between time too does not help, nor does blogging ::smirk:: ), corporate customers demands... haih.. Chat? Blardy hell with em. . Boohoo.

But.. Alvin L. came and ask
"You wanna join for pizza ar? We are having it delivered later".

I said yes immediately, and only then I reached for my wallet and realized only got less than RM10. What? Oh yeah.. the Chicken Maryland and Crabmeat Shark Fin soup last night gobbled up my money. But they say, no matter they pay first. Hurray.

Half an hour later, the pizza came. Guess the pizza delivery service way better than McDonald. The morning shifts peoples ordered McDonald today and it took em 2 hours to deliver to our office. Weird huh? Need to import it from Seremban ka?

The foods was put in the middle. The smell so delicious. However needs to wait for the one who paid la to eat first. If not... tak malu sungguh what. A little bit later, things calmed down a bit we feast! Wahh.. nowadays my appetite came back with a vengeance. It must be the smell and sight of the McDonald food earlier. I think we ordered and ate Chicken Supreme, Super Supreme, Chicken Wing, Coleslaw, and of course the complimentary always lousy Bread-Cheese Stick that is edible only when eaten with other food . Heh.. and I finished the big bowl of coleslaw. Now... Full. Joseph said no need to pay laa.. Ar? Free ar? Eat some more la gitu. Herm, but still would ask them later on.

And here I am too lazy since I am too full. Nasi Tomato + Sayur Lodeh + Pizzas + Sinful amount of Coleslaw = ::Yawning::

Will continue to work until 10 pm. Continue to eat no doubt when back at home. So .. no fun or interesting events there. Just more foods! (Look at waistline and sighed)

Hey.. I definitely am lively when writing about foods eh...

Friday, January 06, 2006

The smell of roses are sweet..

But ain't the smell of money the most pleasurable. Come now. Agree with me. Even the most unmaterialistic of you all. Don't you just love the fresh smell and the crisp feel of a brand new RM notes piping hot from the ATM. As GK says.. give me RM any time instead of flowers laaa.

Now.. I don't meant to be cold and heartless and materialistic and all. Even though some of them do accuse me of that. Hey~ I just like money as the next person might. However, that is not my priority. I think.

Anyway. Why am I always off topic? The topic that was in my head is romance. As Iceroll used to post about the most romantic thingies on what he would have done.

Why did this topic sprang to mind? Oh it is just that a friend of mine. He wanted to make a video clip of him and his girl. To pujuk her. I cringed inwardly when he told me. I just said "Whatever suit you". He thinks it is mighty romantic of himself. I think I would rather watch a documentary of some insects mating than watch a video clip of myself.

Honestly, don't you think romance is dead? It is overrated? I meant sure us girls love the Titanic, Moulin Rouge, Romeo and Juliet... and whatever. Does any guys now would actually do that?

Would a guy care enough to know what I like? To find out what is the thing I wanted most without telling them? To pick out the little details from the conversation?
(Finding Forrester)

Would a guy take that girl out to find that little miracle ; that special something that make her smile and laugh?
( A walk to remember)

Would a guy actually setup a surprise candlelit dinner? Ehem. Of course without intention of sex.
(So many countless cheap romantic movies)

Would a guy go high and low , searching for the girl that left him?
(wait.. I think I know of this guy. Let strike this from the list).

Would a guy goes all the way from one end of the town to the other just to surprise the girl because he misses her?
(so many other countless movies.. which of course usually meant that the guy had just cheated on her, so kinda like guilt thingies, to make amends and see her and say I miss you.. while all the way trying to find excuses for himself that going out with that OTHER girl is actually pretty ok)

Would a guy would actually say all those corny stuffs on how they could not live without her, or how her eyes look like the stars bla bla.. ?
( No decent movies now actually used this line any more. See.. even Hollywood began to realize that romance is dead. Kaput. Banish to Neverland)

Would any guy.. Ok. I stopped it already. Before I became an increasingly bitter ol' lady.

Don't you heart breaks a little, girls. Knowing that these guys. The guys we loved, we look on as our little of miracle of life. Couldn't find it in them... to find a little miracle to us.

But I won't disparage all guys altogether. There are a fews who tried ( I had already given you an example at that. Try Hard I should say ). Guys at that. The ever romantic. Optimistic lot. Who try to bring this corny things in life. But were much disappointed to see the love of their life hardened, bitter and laughed. Ahh.. lets hope the poor guy who's trying to make that video clip don't get that kinda response.

Where do I belong in this category? The ever romantic? Or the hardened bitter one?

Somehow.. I believe most of us are stuck in the middle. We laughed at this corny cheesy movies. We turned up our nose when someone wanted to watch :: Gasp, Shock, Shudders :: 10 Things About You, She's All That, Titanic again with you. But don't you.. in that little corner of your heart, hoping maybe, someone can be like those. You know. Do those romantic stuffs with. And of course la it cannot be just anyone. (Imagine the Fly did that to me. I would have stabbed my eyes with a fork to gouge out the horrors of that). You guys should know la what I meant eh. You closeted romantics.

Maybe like not copying those romantic corny stuffs altogether. But just all the small things. The little things. You know.. the things that count.

Monday, January 02, 2006

From ecstaticness to what?

I don't know where to start.

Let me start with the Peterpan concert. Hey did I spelt that correctly? (Got spell checkla Dila, aperaa) Anyway. I went! Courtesy of my friend. Thank you. Again. And his friends.. for going through all that trouble too. And were so kind enough to guide an inexperienced concert goer around. Yes peoples. It was my first time. And hide those sniggers please.

Oh I won't go into details on how long the queue and the wait in the queue which turned out false illusion to the peoples, whereas the entrance was right at our back and the queue.. were that long (Show the length of my arm). Nor would I go into details on how muddy was it there or the how the fans of Peterpan looks or smell more like a human version of a kerbau by the end of the concert.

Nor does I will observed how many does the peoples in the crowds are. Or how they danced in the rain in circles and laughingly perform some very warlike dance too. Nor would I lament the fact that the sound system, was a bit disappointing. Or the fact that they do gave great performance even though some of peoples may say that they are like a girlish band ::cough:: Or how cool it is the combo of Too Phat and Peterpan together.

I do like to state the fact, that I do not regret it. Not a bit. From my muddy shoes to my slightly drenched scarves. I enjoyed every minute of it, despite what someone might and did say. And I don't look sangap laaa. No no. That was me , quietly enjoying the moment. Since of course you can't la see my smile in the dark. Or when I hummed. Or when I drummed my fingers and tapped my feets to my favorite songs. The rain don't spoilt the fun too. Did I ever mention I love rain? Well, I do!

So, thats it folk about Peterpan. Sorry I won't divulge details. I'm just not into it now.

That was ecstaticness.

Then it came to what?

I don't know exactly happened but I do understand it perfectly. The right thing is always the hardest thing . As what Harry Potter movies quote.
"Soon we must all make a choice, between what is right and what is easy"

Right and easy is not that clearly guideline. If I can look into my palm, and tell that tomorrow will bring to this, I would have turn back the time. But since both are realitiscally impossible, I am now.. in a state of what? I can't put a name to it!

But a choice I have to make. The choice I had made then and are forced to do it again. I don't know what to elaborate. Between one and the other? What is right? What is easy?

How can someone make a decision like that? When everything is so unsure at that. Its like a doctor coming to you and says , Do you want me to cut off your left arm or your right arm.

And this is a place for me to say what I want in whatever way I want to. Since words don't flow that easily for me from my mouth. If you have not noticed it already la. So.. stop picking me at my own blog and bring the feud outside to the real world!
P/S: And yeah.. I do love hearing Peterpan more now.
Updated Notes: To avoid any confusion or peoples going for my neck later on, I want to state that.. the Peterpan concert related experience end with ecstaticness; and the paragraphs after that are not related in any way to the concert thingies. I just could not be bothered to make 2 post. Heh, and sometimes I wrote something to make sense to myself only lor.

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