Friday, December 31, 2004

The Few Hours Before Year of 2005

Yeah.. Here.. I am pysching myself up for the New Year Eve / New Year Celebrations. But actually there is no celebrations due to Pak Lah asking the whole Malaysia to stop celebrating/ drinking / clubbing and to go to our sejadah and do what Moslem are supposed to do in celebrating. Giving our thanks to God and sends prayers to the Tsunami victims. But me.. no..well I will do that a little ( I am a bad bad person) and then went to a bbq. Which I think I will not be eating since I am in a diet fad (Baaah~). Ok.. I am not going to the bbq. Its not so much the ride that I don't have. It is also.. the peoples I have to face. I am not quite ready for so much of 2005! I am ready to face it alone!

I just noticed what the posted below my dashboard that Bloggers are the people of the year. Also I had just read yesterday in newspaper that blogging is good to release pent up emotion. So .... hurray! So we are not uncool or zenith as what Taqi had mentioned. And no.. he did not actually mentioned that we r uncool, just that he read that somebody mentioning that it is uncool. Kinda like a cyber way of telling " A little birdie tell me"

BUT.. Why am I telling you about myself and blogging.. becoz the real reason I am here is to tell you about my resolutions. I never really like resolutions before you see. Its seems so passe (whatever that means) and well.. Im no stickler to rules and comformity. But still I will do this becoz!.. well becoz.. arr.. Let just say that.. I need changes

Here are the rules I laid in my resolution:
1. You are not required to follow any of it
2. These are only your wants.. NOT YOUR NEEDS
3. You may procrastinate in commiting to fulfill your resolution (e.g. It doesnt have to be fulfilled in a year)
4. DO not beat yourself on the head if you didnt fulfill any of it.

These are the resolutions:

More recent needed fulfilled resolutions:
1. Lose a few kg..if possible more than few ..damn it
2. Try to be cheerful.. (baaahhh~)
3. Think positive ( this is a dreadful resolution)
4. TRY to take care of your skin. Beautiful complexion.. AHEAD!
5. Find a job (This is actually a need)
6. Installed broadband..
7. Buy more matured clothes (this is a not good resolution)
8. Find another leather jacket
9. Oh yeah.. Watch whats goes into my mouth (Food I meant.. dont think otherwise)
10. Forget about certain events, certain memories, certain someone (who am I kidding)
11. Be single.. (For whatever reasons I can't fathom)

Resolutions I will try to fulfill before I died
1. Go to Pompeii
2. Gather all my books and susun it nicely in order (not alphabetical, nor year.. just so it looks in order)
3. Donate all my not weared clothes to charity ( I have no idea where to start)
4. Try to donate to charity
5. Took my bros to Genting.. (I love my bros..but they dont necessarily love me back)
6. Go to Turkey (a more burning desire to go to Pompeii actually)
7. Be single.. hahaha
8. Learn to drive (Do i hear someone laughing)
9. Join kickboxing .. hihihi
10. Try to get a certain someone (I am contradicting myself isn't it)

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

The Secret is Out

The secret is out.. yeah.. Somebody found me out!! Egad.. Gasp!!!
Yeah yeah.. I am a closeted PDA. I had declared I am unjiwang..
It is untrue.. well a bit.. I meant I hate it when a person shows too much
But I also hate it when it they showed it too little..
Complicated is it? You should see the inside of my head..

SO here I am.. just back from Rembau. My abang ipar kampung. I also have a massive headache and a tendency to puke
every now and then. And please men out there.. do not make a remark "Are you pregnant?" whenever a girl told someone

Ok.. back to Rembau.. Why did I even go there? Oh yeah.. My niece.. My first ever niece ade this Majlis Bercukur Rambut.
Its one of those many Malay events where someone make the baby head bald. (I am not in a very good mood when writing this
if you can see from the style of writing). So my family was there to witness this fatetul event. It is quite funny. Since
these 17 elder women of the village had come to croon about a baby girl in a buai.. And my niece, Alisha being a restless
spirit much preferred to be out of the buai and sit on the floor staring big eye widely at this one particular elder woman holding a mike.
(Malay villagers had come a long way). And when the time came to cut her hair, being a natural all woman erm... I meant gal.. She of course
bawled her heart out whenever someone cut her precious unruly lock of hair. But she does stay quiet when someone spayed her with the tepung tawar..Probably thinking 'hey.. a bath!'
My arms practically gave out holding those coconut water and tepung tawar and bunga rampai thingies. WHen she was brought outside for the pakciks...
seems in the inside it is all the makciks2.. hermm In this event it seems the women seems to be dominant. Hurray for Negeri 9 feminism~!
Anyway.. back to the pakciks in the tent.. well.. when it is their turn to cut Alisha hair. By that time Alisha is screaming bloody murder I told you,
Men being men.. petrified whenever a baby the pakcik just pat Alisha hair with a bit of bunga rampai.

Anyhow..the food are divine of course.. No need to tell you more about the taste of kampung cooking. Most of you will probably know yourself.
And Alisha hair of course by the end of the day looked like it have been in the hand of a partially blind barber.

And I need to lay down since my headache is getting worse. Probably from eating too much mutton. I will write again

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Freezing Cold

No.. I am not in any of the 4 seasons country..
I am at PDN (Pusat Darah Negara)It is really cold here. Probably to keep the blood from going bad.. No wonder doctors have to wear overcoats..
And no.. I did not get a part time job there too.. nor any job there..
I am supposedly to go to KLCC later on . Hence the reason yours truly am here, Since I cant drive. I also have no drivers to drive me there. so I followed my sister to her work. and here I am monopolizing the Internet there. The doctors here are strangely primitive when using the Internet here. They only played games while I am maximizing it use by surfing, playing games and.. well.. I would love to download Yahoo Messenger here.. but better not try to push my luck here..

So here I am reaching new limits of boredom.. by following peoples to their jobs.. So taqi.. probably I would followed you to your job too... May I? (*Blink.. *Blink)
Actually why I am so anxious to get to KLCC.. well.. yes to peoples who know me already.. I am a shopaholic.. not an incredibly hopeless one. Just someone who cant resist a great bargain.. And after battling the accessories-clothes-bags-shoes crazy pack of women yesterday, I would be crazy to not go back and claim my prize of a great bargain of MNG bag. Well.. for those clueless.... Yesterday MNG organized a-to-die for sales... Prices as low as rm19 (Yes.. I know u men out there thinking we are nutters) But MNG? rm19? Hell, I am not going to miss that!So we went in the fenced area.. Yes love, it is fenced.. and there must be close to a hundred gorgeous chicks.. and 1 cute chick (which is me) in an area no bigger than 2 UTP hostel bedroom.. where we battled for that bag/purse/blouse/scarves. We literally had our claws out to actually fought our way through to a bag. So in a few hours time.. I will be a proud owner of a MNG handbag.. after various pushes, shoves, clawing, pulling hairs out and scrathes to get that particular bag. The price? Weeeellllll.. not exactly the RM19 which I was telling about.. it is RM65. No.. do not roll your eyes at me.. IT IS AFTER ALL MY $$$$$

And I also need a new black bag to replace my sadly widely torn, flea bitten black bag. Ehem, not exactly flea bitten but it does look like it.Therefore.. I can't just possibly bring it to interview right..? I need a bag that screams I had grown up.. and look 22 in spite of my short stature and baby fat face. (Yes Yes.. Hear the pathethic shopaholic make excuses for herself)


Been less than a week I am a non student..
Kinda weird.. not freeing.. Needed to wait for the examination result..
Dial up Internet sucks.. I cant wait to let broadband into my life.
Life now is numbing.. It is as exactly as whut I imagined it would be
Constant boredom with temporary relief. My imagination who used to be such a good companion... now is killing me.. It just gave me pain now..
Thank God for the few friends who kept their words in contacting me.. I doesnt need to go out.. Just a simple.. joke.. hey ya.. wutcha doin.. but NOOOO.. so I am forced to resort to the unreasonable and the unthinkable.. talk to my baby niece on the telephone in front of her like I am some kind of idiot.. No wonder she giggles uncontrollably.. She probably think whut is that stupid idiot of an aunt doing talking to the phone by herself. Ah well.. my niece is kinda cute when she's not bawling her tonsils out.. so it is worth it being some kind of an idiot in front of her. At least she appreciate it. Ok.. I am officially pissed and down.. so I better stop..

Friday, December 17, 2004

Close a Chapter

All my bags are packed I am ready to go..
Not quite pack I guess.. Most of clothes I had packed.
I thought my bags wont be enough to 'tampung' the abundance of my clothes.. But not only it is enough.. it is more than enough. Which I wondered. Do I need to buy new clothes?

Tonight is the last night I will be spending my life as a student in UTP. I had been feeling sad this past few weeks. Knowing I will be missing this life. But my tiredness in packing my stuffs is overriding my feeling of melancholia. But since I had promised myself to write a blog entry during my last night.. so here I am still hanging on even though my eyes is half closed.

It had been great living in UTP. 4 and half years back.. I thought I will never get to this stage, that I wont be matured enough, that I am not ready enough. I am now almost to this stage.. yet the maturity and the readiness.. is not quite there yet. A part of me will always be here.. With my memories of my loved ones and my friends. From the shabbiness of Propana to the modern and comfy hostel of Village 4, from living side by side with hostile USM students as lowly junior until becoming one of the kakak seniors frequenting the hi tech offices, labs and classes at the new academic block, from being a virtual unknown DaRn_sWeEt_tHiNg to become an obsessed chatter nicknamed elara in utp MIRC network... This is my life here. I had made friends, became enemies, made new friends, sworn lifetime loyalty to each others.. I had met wonderful wonderful guys who change my world, make my world spinned and quivered and crashed, and yet still taking this pieces with me even though some of em are painful, it is necessary for me to remember.... that behind the pain sometimes lies a sweet memory. And perhaps hope...

I cannot say convicingly that I known better or am wiser rather than 4 years back..but I know that I am a bit tembam.. have more clothes than 4 years back, laugh a little less, gain many invaluable friends, and have an abundance of memories that I know I can't recreate again.
Today.. I close a chapter in my life. Tomorrow.. I will looked back around me for the very last time.. and knows that I had loved, suffered, cried , laughed and lived here.

UTP Batch June 2000
A***** A** B****

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Tomorrow's Gone

I am sad.. why? see the topic laa

Just got back from Tambun Water Park
Yes Yes.. I know.. I was suppose to do my FYP thingies about 10 years ago.. But hey.. I am a procrastinator. The waterpark.. was a blast. It is a bit costly for just 2 'ride' and 2 'dips' ( ask me if u want details.. I am a lazy ass blogger) but it was fun nonetheless. Not many cute guys there.. Shucks.. hehe One detected .. only I got a glance. So dont really count.. but who cares right.. I am gettin jiggy with my GALFRENS and that whats matters.. (before we all get married and get fat and too embarassed to get in the water). The hot water 'spa pond' was the highlight of the evening. It was really really good.. to my body.. As my IRC Name "Some Like It Hot" and I do like it HOT!!.. How i wish I could crack that jokes to someone that can get my kinda jokes that evening LOL. The waterpark was a beautiful place too.. with beautiful rock limestone hills.. I love beauty.. I love nature.. Go Figures~ But it was beautiful.. I felt a twinge of regret that I didnt get to tour the whole park. It was really quite nice.. nature combined with man made buildings waterpark . I was too busy dipping myself in the pool. It was fun all right. We bring the whole park down... with our screams, antics, laughters and crazy games. We were a drama queen all right that day. Oh..shine thou spotlight on thee.. thee get so little? hehe Anyway.. even with all that. There is a little gloom in my head. I can't seem to forget ..... This is bad .. bad.. bad..

And now.. I am waiting.. to say audieu.. only .. not there. And I am waiting like a fool I am. Thats what I am.

Monday, November 08, 2004

The Last Night of Puasa in UTP

I am writing my blog here? why becoz currently there is notInternet UTP.. Yeah.. Actually there is internet in UTP, only that hell..only we can accessed Friendster, elearning, utusan and just the google pgLife is boring.. because non existent of Internet? Perhaps.. that can be a factorOr Do I suddenly realized I am actually a very lonely person. I dont know.. the thoughts r frightening. I wanna write continuously about nothing.. Thats why so few of u out there know my blog..Perhaps i will give the add later to Marquis.. But later.. not now.. before I graduate I guess..And ppls will see how dreadfully boring I really am.
I have this crazy resolution that I wanna slim down. Why? I just hate the incessant dig and snide ofme gaining weight. I dont mind "oh.. berat u dah naik" kinda remark..But the constant remark on my gaining weight, and other things sometimes pisses me off. I am not THAT beauty conciousBut.. hey gals r vain.. we r beauty concious.. (most of us anyway).. and this remark can hurt us in littleways some ppls wont imagine. I dont hold it against em.. I am just tired of hearing it.. Thats all.. I meant think if I told u everyday that you have this incredible looking thing that looks like a growth on ur face..Would YOU like it?
I am a pretty nice genial , happy go lucky, trying to think positive about someone kinda person. But sometimesI slip.. and I guess.. ppls slip too when it comes to me. I hurt back the ppls who hurt me.. Thats whut I do. If theydont.. I really2 do like em.. But sometimes.. pelik laks why some ppls can be so 'hurtful'.
oh well..Now.. the hols are drawing closer.. my student days are ending.. it is sad.. it is numbing.. I will be leaving a placeI called home, I will be leaving countless friends, I will be leaving the ever famous UTP MIRC NETWORK, I will be leaving ppls I care about, I will be leaving the environment that had come dear to me, I will be leaving life of weekends at the movie,late night eating out, laughing uproariously at my friends antic, chatting till the wee hour of the morning, taking long nap in the afternoon... I will be going to a life called working life.. AND I JUST KNOW I WILL GAIN WEIGHT AGAIN ..argh~

Friday, October 29, 2004

I really, really dont know

I can't say it to anybody else..(except Lan).. But I am temporarily single..There I said it. But I can't say whats keep on shouting in my head since, I am self concious that the names that is being constantly playing in my mind will read this and hate me.

I admired peoples who can be honest without flinching. For the first time, I know what despair is. I can't say to my boyfriend.. that I love him.. cause I truly don't know what I am feeling. All I know.. I will welcome this numbing feeling in my heart rather than the suffering of being dishonest. I can't really say to anyone.. not even Lan what I really want. Since I got the feeling that what I want is wrong wrong wrong and even worst.. won't be accepted. If anyone stumble upon this blog, they wont know an inkling what the hell I am writing about. I am afraid of my own feeling. I am afraid I will wake up one day and lose everything. I am afraid that I will wake up one day and gain everything but losing the one thing that really matters to me. I am afraid someone am repulse by me.

I thought I wanted everything.. but I was wrong.. now the only thing that I want is you

Friday, October 08, 2004

To Say or Not To Say?

The lamest of the lame!!!!

Last night my friends and I had a conversation on the most lamest pickup line or act on picking people up we ever had. And what I about to relate are an honest to goodness real life peoples spouting nonsense from their mouth and doing some pretty dumb stuff in makin them look even dumber...

1. A guy on a bus ask a girl sitting beside him (showing her his bus ticket stub). "Eh, awak tahu tak ape maksud2 nombor2 ni ye? Dari dulu lagi saya pikir.. macam tak masak akal.. bla bla" (while the girl gape at this stupid guy who is obviously asking such an unfounded dumb question.. while the guy are inching closer to the girl)

2. "Siti Nurhaliza!!.. Siti kan?? kan??" (This honestly happened).. this is lame if the girl do not minat Siti at all.

3. The guy ask "Apa nama awak?" , the girl reply "Suzana" (Bukan nama sebenar =p), the guy continues, "Awak ni Suzana, suka betul la tengok bukit-bukit kat luar ni.. Apa kata saya bagi nick name kat away Suzana Bukit, macam mesra kan?" (whut the hell?????)

4. A guy give a girl his phone number despite various attempts by the girl to deflect that from happening.. then.. he thrust it (the phone number) into her hands.. while continuously blocking her way "Awak janji awak akan call saya... Janji tau.. janji tau.. Janji betul2 pada saya awak akan call saya....Saya nak dengar awak kata awak janji!!" .. and the girl nodding furiously to stop the advances from the obviously psychotic guy

5. (this is more like an act).... A girl found herself being stalked continuously while shopping at a mall.. When at the batteries section, he's there..when at the cereal section he's there.. when at the pastry section. he's there... Alas.. the girl found herself in the arrr 'tuala wanita' section he is there looking at the same stuff as she are!!!.. Which then he blocked her way and asked for her phone number.. This is lame.. because.. guys.. please do not ask a girl her phone number while she is shopping for her sanitary pms stuff!! (This is like an advertisement in TV.. i know i know.. but i did not make the scenario up, it really did happened.. which is hilariously funny when think about it later on.. since got a sneaking feeling that probably this guy got this idea from watching this particular advertisement... PLEASE DO NOT ACT OUT THINGS BEING DONE IN TV)

6. Stalking a girl at a toilet and pinning her to the wall.. spitting sweet nonsense which could have been sweet if the situation hadnt been scary... this is actually sexual harassment..Therefore guys should also be aware on what consitutes as sweet, lame or just plain harassment...

Ahh.. needs to type my report.. will continue further on if rajin~

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Independence Day

Today is Merdeka.. hip hip hurray for Malaysia ...
We had come a long way I guess.. but there is still a lot to be improve on..
Patriotism is something deep down .. not something that you just shout at every once a year.. and I hope all of us remember that

I am very sleepy today.. and Just suddenly thought of my blog that is sadly lacking my attention.. But I have better things to do kut.. (yeah rite)

I know.. it needed a hell lotsa improvment.. BUT I JUST DONT HAVE THE ENERGY NOR TIME TO DO IT.. the fact that I kept forgetting my password didnt help either..

Friday, August 13, 2004


Hari ini saye sgt malas:

  • Kerana kena jumpa sv esok tp tadek progress
  • Kena tepon sketeri kompeni nk wat FYP yg tataw ape2 utk wat pojek
  • Ade quiz yg pyscho
  • Ade nyamuk bwh meja
  • Jdorama yg dicari tak jumpa.. bdk v5 majuk kaa??
  • Fax surat tak dpt.. pastu UTP nye staff tak kasik pon laie nk fax laie.. Vudus tul..#$%^&)^$$#^ words that cannot be utter again

Minggu dpn saya akan malas laie kerana:

  • Jumpa sv laie walaupun tadek progress
  • Tepon laie sketeri kompeni utk wat FYP
  • Kene wat progress report
  • Jdorama tu mungkin tak dpt jumpa laie
  • Kena bungkus bunga

Skian Terima Kasih~

Monday, May 10, 2004

To study.. or not to study..

I wonder.. why am I only interested in posting a new blog whenever I should be doing something else
Tomorrow is exam! My exam.. I hope nothing goes wrong this time.. so many things had gone wrong during exam weeks this past few years. Disputes with close friends, being hospitalized, falling in love, dump by love.. let just say that whenver exam weeks coming around.. there's always something going on in my life.. For once.. I want a stress free exam weeks...
My courseworks seems to sucks ... but it doesnt seems to bring much impact to me since I AM STILL NOT STUDYIN EVEN THOUGH EXAMINATION IS LESS THAN 24 HOURS AWAY!!!
So.. I better quit typing here!

Friday, April 30, 2004

Hello World

haha.. I remember that when I was typing my C++ programming. When I saw that example, I was thinking to myself why does the author come up with "Hello World". If it were me.. I guess the text books will not be fit to print. I kinda hate to tell other people that I had a blog. I did tell them, but I didn't ask them to look at my blog. Kinda like it to be this way.. Just my page for me to look at. Like when I am playing the organ and I don't only want other person in the room. Hell, i prefer if there is no one at home or in the neighbourhoood in fact.
Right now I am supposedly to be typing my Business and Cyber Law assignment, but it is boring. So I decided to drop by here and write something. (type more like it)
Erk but Exam is coming!!!! My dear neglected books and notes.. I will come,caress,fondle and be very attentive to you very soon!

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

My Own New Blog

I got this template from a site
and it is really cool since purple is my favorite color..
the graphic kinda nice too
I want it to be nice and simple and I am pretty satisfied with this one..
Not the type of person who will be poring over code... so this as far as I get (I may get further but I doubt it)
thanks to the designer

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

My first one ~ not now though
sleep ....need sleep

Disqus for Dils Stop