Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Heart Shaped Stained Glasses

Can it be consider as fictionalize thoughts? Definitly fiction. Not thought of.... conciously.

I got the weirdest dream last night. It was soo horrendously funny that I am smiling as I typed.

Let's start from thebeginning shall we.

I dreamt somehow my friends and I went to watch a movie. When we reached at the cinema complex, people are running out of there screaming. (My typical dream... yeah I have nightmare almost nightly and I really need to write down one particularly disturbing one. That's for later though).

We were feeling curious and none of the screaming person felt like explaining anything. So we went in after all. It's all very blurry afterwards. People screaming. We were forcing our way in. The next thing I know, I was grabbed and taken somewhere.

Then the cause unravel. It seems Marilyn Manson was behind it. LOL.

He is divorce from his wife and so was feeling a tad bit lonely. So he felt like taking a new 'queen' (Evan Rachel Wood somehow do not exist in this alternate universe) and felt like by force is the way to go. So to grab any girl he could find, he created some chaos. Whatever that chaos is... (probably he summoned some dark evil demon to unleash their fury?) And in that chaos by abducting 1 person, that person will not be missed at first and will be presume to be missing or died in that chaos itself.

In that dream I was like a hostage where I cannot run and everywhere I go , I am watched by his henchmen while Marilyn Manson is forcing me to like him. Everywhere I go he seems to know automatically.

(Let's be warned that no 18SX nor R-rated acts are being performed in my dream. So yes, those who is hoping so much more can stop reading now. )

The dream then goes to the tedious on how I keep on hatching plan to escape but it was unfoil or I cannot go through with it. However after sometime, I manage to get a chance. It seems that I convinced him to go to a trip somewhere ( trip to the mall. Yes.. roll your eyes). After some cajoling here and there, I manage to hoodwinked him at get out of there. However as I walked away, I totally got the Stockholm syndrome!

I came back and felt something like a fondness to him. As so I stay and became the 'queen' to Marilyn Manson side. Haha.. I think the dream does goes on afterwards where people try to rescue me then I am feeling attached and not wanting to blame him for my abduction and feeling reluctant to leave. I can't remembered if I ever leave...

Oh and Marilyn Manson was not wearing any makeup during the dream except for the first time I met him after I was capture.

Totally ridiculous and yet so Freudian.

p/s: Why can't it be James McAvoy or Ewan McG or even Taylor Kitsch la kan...

Sunday, January 27, 2008


Let's do the what did I do today kinda topic. I know you guys don't care and it's boring and all that. Whatever. My blog.

So early morning today (yesterday technically, but let's not dwell on details shall we?), my fiance and I went to one of the Ulu Yam waterfalls, scouting places where I can bring my colleagues for an outing.

Great scenery, the water is cold yet nice (after an hour of hesitant wetting ma feet) . Not so many people ( I was adamant to go early in the morning to beat the crowd). Not tooo polluted (how many are there that are not pon). And most importantly.... no icky encounter with leeches and pacat. Need I stress again upon the fact that I am raised as a city girl as thus only familiar with animals ranging from the usual pests to dogs and cats?

Unfortch, I don't have any pictures. Phone pon tak bawak. He does. No 'pose' pictures tho.

The day got even better when I managed to procure the below.

The Buffy comics. I was searching for it briefly at Kinokuniya and some stores. Was contemplating ordering online which is madness since the shipping would cost more than the comics.

However 'some'one manage to take a glimpse of it somewhere and informed me. Hehe. So the fascination with Buffy-dom continues. The downer is that I didn't manage to find the part 1 of the first arc 'The Long Way Home'. Takpe. Try cari jua. Oooh. Did I mention this is like my first time ever in buying comics (manga not included). And it is all for Buffy. Sigh.

Ok. Snooze time. I can't manage to take a nap in the afternoon nowadays and kept on waking up early in the morning. So tidak lagi menjadi burung hantu.

p/s: I can't manage to find a good blog title. So don't try to find meaning behind it since I just type whatever words that my fingers want to move to.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


There are some things that are best forgotten.

Some are of course hard to forget. Some are just plain forgettable. For some ... you don't realize you ever had it until it hit you right on the face when a hint of a smell, a glimpse of where your tracks were or the sound of that dratted songs sent to you. These are the absolute worst as it will leave you dazed and reeling even after years down the line. It's like the cartoon characters that are being hit by an anvil while minding their own business.

I called this memory burst or snapshots of a memory since it only gave you that few seconds of remembrance but still painful nonetheless.

There's a reason I don't looked into Friendster that often nowadays. Its hurt to see people move on or people getting better. I am not that good of a person that can say " I am SOOO glad you are doing better than me". Its much more pleasant to just shut down the PC , sit down to read a book and eat doughnuts while flipping through the pages with jam streaked fingers. What I do not know cannot hurt me right?

p/s: Now I am not getting sappy. This can also include past so-called friends and of course non-friends. Guess I am getting snippy. No worries. Tomorrow is a holiday.

*do the dance of joy*

Friday, January 18, 2008

Just Quote: In Good Humour

Beg Kecil Ini

Beg kecil ini kuharap dapat tunjukkan,
Yang ia tidak sia-sia dikait,
Kerna, Jika kamu mahukan sesuatu,
Ia akan memberi ape yang kamu inginkan,
Dan memandangkan kita akan berpisah,
Ia akan memberi makna yang lain,
Kerna, Tatkala kamu terlihat beg ini,
Kamu akan terkenang rakanmu ini.

Ms D : Tada! Puitis tak? Hahaha.

Mob 1: *faint mumblings of protestation"

Ms D : What? What do you mean it is written by Jane Austen. I tak penah dengar pon Jane Austen.

Mob 1: * stronger rumblings of protest heard*

Ms D : Arrrr... yeah.. I did a lengthy post regarding Jane Austen a while back. Must had slipped my mind. Tapi die tulis novel je ok. She write no bleedin poems.

Mob 1 & Mob 2: *protests and pickets and letter of complaints flying everywhere*

Ms D : .........

Mob 1 & Mob 2 & Mob 3: * Are ready with armory of stones, Malaysian reporters and small time lawyers*

Ms D : Fine, fine.. *ehem* Saya mendapat inspirasi ini dari Jane Austen (my idola y'all!) dan mengolah bahasa poem cumil ini untuk kefahaman seluruh rakyat Malaysia especially kepada kanak-kanak. Harap maafkan saya kerana tidak berterus terang dari awal . * Fake grin with a set of gleaming white teeth shining*

Inspired by here, here (this is hilarious) and most certainly credited to the below.

This Little Bag by Jane Austen

This little bag I hope will prove
To be not vainly made--
For, if you should a needle want
It will afford you aid.
And as we are about to part
T'will serve another end,
For when you look upon the Bag
You'll recollect your friend

p/s: The translation is horrible. My translation I meant. Anyone can enlighten me what does this mean? ---> "For, if you should a needle want"

Edited on 19th Jan 08: So.. people are calling this "pulling a natasha" or "do the hudson". Very tongue in cheek I suppose.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Random Thoughts II and Plagiarism for Published Books Sucks Much Even for 1 Measly Poem/Prose

Short post.

1. Am sick again. Hate getting sick. Hate getting sick in the middle of training. Trainer might accuse me of not paying attention, but for Pete's sake. I am trying not to crash onto the floor while you are droning on, ok.

2. My kerete sudah kembali cumil. Yeay! A lil bit of extra money this month was spent in 'ketuk' and 'cat' my car. I had 'gores'kan my car at a side of a tembok while trying to avoid a motorcycle few months back. I should have just clip that motorcycle.

3. I am broke. Freaking broke. Dayum.

4. The lovely shoes I am wearing is pinching my feet.

5. The least important. Bloggers are usually passionate creatures. We comment without 'penapis' but the more clever one try to at least think before 'submit'.

6. The most important. Most of us realize that there is no money making business in writing in Malaysia. However you do gain 'some' monetary gain in it and also recognition as a published writer, while there are many other more talented or not so talented but passionate writers that would gladly killed you for that spot. With that in mind, some so-called writer need to have dignity in what they wrote, even it is for children's book or nonsense you wrote when you are a teenager. If someone who had sold a bestseller still got flack from critics, fans and celebrities, when what they were writing is not true to what they claim (even though it is their own writing and experience, but exaggerated (fine, exaggerated a lot) and added for spice) , what's more blatant plagiarism? For those who are wondering what the heck I am talking about, go ahead to Jannah to get a full story on the so called story I am telling and the wrath of bloggers (who mostly love to read and their favorite poets ranging from someone as famous as Poe to the obscure ones that you think no one knows).

7. The above point is not suitable for one paragraph, but I couldn't be bothered since I am feverish and I am typing while holding a damp tissue. Yuck, much?

8. With that statement no.7, I hope you people would not borrow my laptop. Haha.


Update: Keeping tab with the updates regarding the allegations of plagiarism done by Ms Hudson, some bloggers or readers had also found out that there are maybe more than 1 poem/prose that had been taken from famous poets and published in Ms Hudson book without any credit mention to the original authors.

Seek further and thou shalt find out more?

p/s 1 : I really don't like her latest comment.

p/s 2: My pens are blue, my marker is black
I don't care anymore what you do, since I think you are a fake?

Hahahahha.. Sorry Jannah. My poetry skills are sadly lacking, non-existent even. Maybe if I would do some direct translation from any obscure poets I would looked more intelligent? I promise to credit the author.

Friday, January 11, 2008

8 Rules of Typical Hollywood Horror Movies

The movies may apply only for one or all of the rules. However at least one of the below 'rules' must be applied.

1) Girls. If you are a slut, you will most certainly die first amongst all your friends. So don't ever go skinny dipping with guys nor cheat with your best friend boyfriend. Or worst, cheated by skinny dipping in a supposedly public place with your best friend boyfriend. You are most likely to die in the first 30 minutes.

2) Guys are not spare too. If you are obnoxious, are all talks and thrown a child or a girl in front of you as a shield, you will most certainly be next. After the slut.

3) If you recently been dumped or someone close to you died, and your friends or siblings think its fun to take you somewhere far and remote (read as nobody ever goes there anymore) to camp, caving, lodge, road trip, there is half a chance you will find either cannibals, urban legend monsters, psychotic villagers or roaming serial killers. Girls. Go shopping instead. It's safer.

4) Killers must always always taunt/give reason why they are killing/confessional to their final victims before beheading, choking or whatever deathly blows they are gonna use.

5) When a killer chases you. You must scream like hell first. Then run.

6) If you had run over someone, drown them accidentally, left them to die of starvation or mortal wound without helping, and not tell the authorities or tell the truth. You are pretty much screwed. Karma is going to come either in the form of deranged sadness-induced dementia killers or murderous spirits.

7) Help is futile. Either the police station is wiped out, your phone not working (cut off by killers or your coverage does not expand to woods and cave) or everyone had been killed off.

8) The girl(s) always survive. Always. The least slutty one usually. But usually it is always the girl.

p/s: Add to the list if you like

Monday, January 07, 2008

A Pale View of Hills

Had finished reading Kazuo Ishiguro, A Pale View of Hills.Boy, does it make my head spins. Before proceeding, the plot description as below (as freely copy and paste from Wikipedia)

This is the story of Etsuko, a middle-aged Japanese woman living alone in England, and opens with discussion between Etsuko and her younger daughter, Niki, about the recent suicide of Etsuko's older daughter, Keiko. Etsuko's thoughts, however, dwell not on either of her daughters so much as on the more distant past and the mysterious relationship she formed with a woman named Sachiko and with the woman's young daughter, Mariko, some years before in Japan.

After finishing the book, I was surprised. I thought it would be more. More stories. Answers. Backstory. Resolution. But there is none. The story was left hanging.

After I finished the book, various questions arises that left me wondering..

What happened to Ogata San? What is in Etsuko's past? Why did she marry Jiro? What happened to Sachiko in Kobe? Did she ever go to America? Will Mariko ever gotten over her trauma? Who is the woman that bring Mariko and Sachiko such torture? Does she even exist? How did Sachiko ever get to her state of vagrant? How can someone so rich, so educated can be so naive? How did Etsuko leave Japan and fall in love with a British man?

Then afterwards.. after mulling it about a bit, I begin to think. Does Sachiko and Etsuko is the same woman? Are Mariko and Keiko too the same? But both women fate, even though similar, they had different circumstances. Perhaps both women destiny are parallel to each other, and perhaps Etsuko fate takes where Sachiko stories left off.

What is also curious is on her lack of feeling or reaction to Keiko's death. I also see on how it seems her other daughter seems at times to channel Sachiko. I like Etsuko humours her father in law, it gives a lighter feeling to the character. All in all, among all the characters in the books (including her daughters), Etsuko seems to be attuned to Ogata-san, his feelings and way of thoughts.

I like this book. Its narrative is simplistic in its description, yet it provoked powerful image. The dialogue is smooth and hinted at the character's layers of personalities and thoughts. A book that give you more questions rather than answers. It makes you think for once in term of the fiction world, this is the book that represent life, where questions are never answered and the stories never end.

Thought provoking.

p/s: I would love to read more of his works to see if this is his style or does he have different agenda for different books. I would love to read this book again to see what I missed and also if I can pick up any hint if my theories above are true.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Waiting for the rain to stop...

Warning: Rojak post ahead. Jangan bising.

Typing this blog post at new office. Haaa.

Otak sudah lunyai with all those readings which I doubt I understand much of it. You know how you can just read a sentence or paragraph and after you finish reading it, you realized you had no idea what you reading. Not that you don't understand it. Its more like you read it without thinking at all.

I am in such deep shit if I continue like this. Hope some knowledge does penetrate into my addled brain.

Anyway. Oh.. new job is OK. Back to being the unknown again which sucks and trying to find the cheapest place to lunch or even lunch mates obviously sucks too. However there is a consolation that a shopping complex is right below my office. Tanak lunch bole shopping? Boleh? Kinda defeat the purpose of finding a cheap place for lunch though to save money.

Have to start shopping too in spite of my reluctance (reluctant sgt)! My previous workplaces before this have a sort of lackadaisical attitude in terms of office wear, so usually jeans and various blouses was my options. My baju office yang zaman lama2 ituh sume sudah "shrinking" (that's the word 'someone' LOVE to use whenever I accuse him of being fat). Shit. I definitely have to join me some gym. Kena exercise tapi malas. Kurangkan makan tapi selera macam gajah. Macam mana?

Why can't I be one of those "naturally thin" and hate that people accuse them of an eating disorder, when obviously they had learned how to quietly retch into a restaurant toilet bowl.

Back to the topic. Hah. To the well informed readers of this blog (which consist of two of you, including moi) , I think that the whole issues with me resigning early is now udah abes. No more brouhaha or calling back and forth to former employers. Abes kredit nak settlekan mende ini aje. And it ended better than I hope with me only applying leave for the remainder of the days. Seems like I had a total of 12 days of leave. Wow wheee. I had not realized my accumulated leave is that much. Hehehe.. I think I totally forgot my annual leave total. So it may end up with them paying me back instead of moi mengeluarkan duit dari simpanan. Fuh.

I may had to thank my mother for that. Mungkin in spite of what she says, she did doa for better thing job wise. And a thanks needs to be addressed also for my previous colleagues. Gile kena bagi motivation untuk berenti.

Another note, this is what I got for my parting gift.

Best tak? Best kan. Huhuhu. Thanks all colleagues. I know some of you are reading this. Hehehe and sorry that I completely forgot to write a farewell email. I think those are kinda like a bore anyway. But maybe I will compose it OK. A late farewell email. .Hehe. Sorry.

Well... nak kemas2 untuk balik la.

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