I remembered something from the book Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm. She was reciting some grammar lessons with her teacher. The words she is reciting , all of them containing, "If she had known, If they had known, If I had known.."
She remarked to the her teacher that it is such a sad word. Of all words, the if is the saddest. Whittier quote something like this : "Of all the saddest words , the what might have been is the saddest of all"
If, if and if. Its like time lost and never can be gathered.
Even though there are there are sayings "No use crying over spilt milk".. "The past is past.."
Still don't you think it is interesting if you think about the outcome all about the major decision you had made in your life...
The major if in life..
What if my father is still alive? Would I be the person I am now?
What if I never opted to go to boarding school? Would i be the semi do not care about peoples thoughts ?
What if I had opted to play for the recording company ? Would my career be something else?
What if I had not been petulant and not refused to continue with my musical lesson? Would I be the child protege my teacher used to lament about?
What if I had not gotten angry and closed my heart and memory? Would I be laughing with someone else?
What if I had not opted to chose IT as a study? Would I be someone that I always dreamt of
What if I had study a little bit harder during my SPM? Would I be studying something else, somewhere else?
However... of all the if..
I could not imagine that I would not be in UTP.
I could not imagine not knowing my friends, all the peoples I had known loved liked laughed, the peoples that changed my life, the people that make me who I am now.
I could not imagine my life without my family.
Imperfect they are... I would not change whatever way they treated me. The good and the bad.
I could not imagine my life without knowing at least IRC!!
Now.. that is just damn weird.