Grief Talking

Muka high main string

I am still can't get over it that she's gone from our life. She have a lots of admirers, people and cats alike. Kurap seems lonesome and so she is clingier than usual. Sometimes she mewed piteously, sometimes when she does this, I imagined she is asking where Fasha is. Kakak angkat die kan. First time datang rumah mengemis nampak Fasha, terus excited nak ikut Fasha everywhere.

 Puteh is now sick, and I have to take care of him and now more being more aware and careful not to let it be too serious. So while feeling like crap, I have to make sure my crappy feelings will not make me ignored the other cats. 

Day to day however it is getting easier to adjust to the fact that she is not there. I am grieving is the least of the thing you can described it. I even broke down crying at a pet shop. Seeing all those things that I used to contemplate buying for her, it gets a bit much. I thought I was OK, but I told myself I would not cry if Fasha name is not mentioned, but the owner knows of my cats ( I board the cats there regularly ) and the owner asked on their news and the tears came out. That was Fasha favorite boarding place. The last time I sent her there, she was ecstatically rolling around at her boardng cage. LOL. I remembered feeling betrayed then.  

Routine now changes. I have to adjust to not call out automatically " Fasha, Kurap makan ".  I only have to use "Be a good girl" instead of 'girls' when I left them alone in the house before going to work. (Puteh is being put at the back, I don't dare to leave Puteh and Kurap alone without human supervision). I sometimes found myself panicking because I left a window open (You guys know Fasha penchant of breaking out when she found a way), or left a cupboard or drawers open and then realized with a heavy heart that she is not around anymore. 

I think maybe I'll tell a story about Fasha every now and then in this blog. Just so I've somewhere she is immortalized. Memory is not forever. I looked at old pics of Fasha in my Blackberry and I forgot on how she sometimes tend to do this, or lepak at this place. 

Let's start it now. Now on the earlier paragraph how careful we are not to let open drawers left unattended. Fasha had always been a quiet cat. Opposed to the vocal Kurap who will meowed insistently until we break down and gave her what she wants. Fasha quietness is one of the reason I overlooked that she's sick ( I am currently feeling guilty, feeling like I could have done more but didn't, this is the natural process of grief they say). 

Once my husband locked her in a shoes cabinet, just for a while. And he forgot about it. I found her few hours later because I heard some rustling in the shoes cabinet. Another time, he put her in a drawer during one night he was playing around with her. The next morning I couldn't find her but thought she is off gallivanting , then smelt poo. I located the smell and open the drawer and she jumped out of it, smeared with poo and piss. During the entire night and early morning, not once did she make a sound. She did not mewed, or scratches. And I was downstairs late at night and if she made a sound I would have known she was there and let her out earlier.  I swear my husband is not a cruel person :p . He's just forgetful.  I had then since asked him not to play those games with Fasha anymore. 

The last time she was trapped, I was cleaning the house and opened the top kitchen drawer to get some stuffs. Went into the living room for a while and then I realized I left the drawer open, and Fasha likes to sleep or pissed in a drawer. Depending on her mood. So went back to kitchen and closed the drawer. Finished with my chores, I looked for the cats. Found the fat cat blessedly sleeping. But not the striped one. After searching everywhere I remembered the drawer. I open the drawer, and she's not there. Opened the bottom drawer there she was, coolly lying down and looking at me as if asking "Why are you interrupting my sleep". 

I miss her so, so much. 

RIP Fasha. 2008 - 2011

Fasha had just died this afternoon.

It breaks my heart knowing that I can never again see a striped cat hurtles past 5 roofs and jump down to the lawn to meet me at the gate.

I can barely think of cakes and pastries at home, knowing that I won't have a feline hanging by my shoulder trying to get a taste when I eat this in front  of TV.

I don't know if I will ever get a cat who is as smart and devious as she is.

So many things that I will missed about her...

The picture above is one of my favorite of her. She had always been delightful to look at when she was asleep. At the very least, I manage to see her last night, and even though the vet said she barely responded to anything, before I leave, she lift her head up high and look at me squarely for one last time.

I love her very much even if she did make me feel like tearing my hair out at times. I hope she had a good life. And I hope she manage to find all the bothersome cicaks in kitties heaven.

In all her fluffy glory

Review : Me & Mr Darcy and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time

Me and Mr. Darcy by Alexandra Potter
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Summary: After a string of disastrous dates, Emily Albright decides she’s had it with modern-day love and would much rather curl up with Pride and Prejudice and spend her time with Mr. Darcy, the dashing, honorable, and passionate hero of Jane Austen’s classic. So when her best friend suggests a wild week of margaritas and men in Mexico with the girls, Emily abruptly flees to England on a guided tour of Jane Austen country instead. Far from inspiring romance, the company aboard the bus consists of a gaggle of little old ladies and one single man, Spike Hargreaves, a foul-tempered journalist writing an article on why the fictional Mr. Darcy has earned the title of Man Most Women Would Love to Date. 

The last thing Emily expects to find on her excursion is a broodingly handsome man striding across a field, his damp shirt clinging to his chest. But that’s exactly what happens when she comes face-to-face with none other than Mr. Darcy himself. Suddenly, every woman’s fantasy becomes one woman’s reality. . . 

I really want to really, really like it. But it was not to be. Also at first I was irritated by the heroine spinelessness. I can forgive a spineless woman if she's young, but she's almost 30. Sigh.

Anyway, it started ok enough. It never explains how Emily (the heroine) manage to meet Mr Darcy. It just happened. But I guess an explanation would not really be explainable.

It got better at the end when Emily found her spine, but I'll enjoy it more if it does not try to parallel a lot of the plots to Pride and Prejudice. While it does this intentionally and brought it up to the reader attention, I really wish the writer had gone another way.

Overall it was ok. Funny at the times. Mr Darcy is painted even as a tad bit ludicrous. Midnight meet ups? It was unseemly to even go out walking in broad daylight without a chaperone in that time! But I manage to have a few chuckles so it is not a total loss. Funny at times, unbelievable at times, but it was enjoyable, hence the 3 stars.


The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Summary: Christopher John Francis Boone knows all the countries of the world and their capitals and every prime number up to 7,057. He relates well to animals but has no understanding of human emotions. He cannot stand to be touched. Although gifted with a superbly logical brain, Christopher is autistic. Everyday interactions and admonishments have little meaning for him. Routine, order and predictability shelter him from the messy, wider world. Then, at fifteen, Christopher’s carefully constructed world falls apart when he finds his neighbor’s dog, Wellington, impaled on a garden fork, and he is initially blamed for the killing.Christopher decides that he will track down the real killer and turns to his favorite fictional character, the impeccably logical Sherlock Holmes, for inspiration.

This is my first book by Mark Haddon. It was as in the review being printed at my book .. " A stunningly good read". The narrator of this story is an autistic boy who don't and never will understand people who are not like him works, think, feel. So the story is narrated in a cold way, much like reading facts off a textbook. However the writer inject humanity in it by Christopher observation on how the people around him react.

I thought I would be bored. I never was, in fact I may have learned things by reading this book. This is a book about a boy. A dysfunctional boy who maybe understand how dysfunctional he is, but never really do understand just how so. It is about family and trust. It is basically about him finding a reason on this little mystery he encountered upon.

It is not a typical narrating, but it was interesting. It makes for a surprisingly fast read. I can't recommend it enough. I am now looking forward for more books by this author.

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Penat tapi kurang puas

Hoiii... tajuk tak dan dan kan??

But this is the feeling that I got. Well, I won a preview pass to the BIGGEST BADDEST BOOK SALE EVER. Big Bad Wolf Book Sales 2011, where the price is epic.

The preview pass is for yesterday (6th Oct) only. And I can only bring 1 other person with me. So I took along Sue who I know appreciate a good warehouse book sales. And of course aku nak buli Sue untuk ambik aku kat Midvalley. So right after work, off we went, which only left us around 2 hours to browse and buy. ( It started at 12pm to 9pm. But the normal sales hour is from 10 am to 9pm ). 

The BBW at MAEPS last night. 

But it was awesome that I got the preview pass as I could browse easily and get from aisle to aisle without looking over people shoulders. It also gives me a chance to quickly browse and quickly filled my shopping bag. I brought 3 shopping bag. By 8.30pm, 2 was full and the other one is half full. I can hardly walk due to the weight of the books. I was dreadfully tired because I have a light lunch and browsing books and lugging it around in a large hall that could fit a football field is making me really lightheaded. So I stopped looking. At this time I miss my husband. Awwww... Dilssss. 

There was a husband and wife there, where I noticed the husband kept on pointing out all the authors that his wife apparently like so the wife could take a look. This is what usually my husband does when he accompany me. And also he will carry all those books. Sigh.  Imagine if I have his shoulder, I would get more books! 

In the end I bought 30 books, for the price of RM236. It is a so-so achievement because I think the last sales I bought almost 50 books. And when I got back home, I was kinda like... ehh.. I thought I bought a lot. But then, I am tottering side to side carrying the books, I don't think so even if I have the energy I can buy more. I still have to get to Midvalley and carry my books to my car on foot. So , have to stop. Which is why tak puas because I feel I could buy more. Also partly because I am kicking myself that I put down a book called "Atlantis", then I thought that I had already put in my book. Only during paying I noticed that it is not in the bag. Bahh. 

Funny how missing one book which I had never heard before, could make me feel slightly down. I guess I need to cheer up because not all people could get the preview pass and browse easily. And on the bright side, there are a lot of books that I had my eyes on and are now are able to buy. 

My tower of chic lits

I stacked this chic lit that I bought with the other books to compare if perhaps I had gone slightly insane at the chic lit aisles.

My 'other' books consisting of thriller/horror/fiction/travel/fantasy/biographical/historical

Comparing this stack and chic lits, it seems the chic lit won. LOL.

Later Updated: 
Ops... the other books won, as I missed one book which is :

I counted again this morning and was baffled why I only have 29 books. Looked again in my shopping bag and there it is. The book above is a collection of letters they got from 16 teens during the WW2. Quite a good find. ( I love all WW stories related )

Also I am very pleased that I found Anne Berry - The Hungry Ghosts. I was tempted to buy at Borders, but of course I put it off.

For the little ones

The above I bought for my anak2 sedara. Didn't buy anything for Aleeya, ( my 4 mths old niece ), but of course because she is 4 mths. 

I didn't get much chance to browse, but perhaps if I am rajin, I will go again later on before the sales finish, to browse on obscure authors and titles. However I am kinda doubtful, because, I need to save money for my upcoming trip and well, 27 books ( exclude children ), is a normal amount for a functional adult. So, be still my greedy, greedy heart. Read all the bought books first.

I am pleased overall. The MAEPS hall is airy, the staffs are nice, we even have staffs helping to roll our books around in a trolley after paying on the way out and wait for us to get to our car so we can drive right at the entrance. And they have music! I remembered singing along to one of the Grease tune while searching for books. Yes I was tired, but it was worth it. I am not sure if I can get another chance like this next year!

So thank you Big Bad Wolf for giving me a chance to win a preview pass! Thank you Sue for bringing me there and the insane journey to get out of UPM!  Thank you husband who gives me moolah so I don't have to sit in a corner contemplating painfully if I really do need this book! 

p/s: blog posts may have lots of grammatical errors or sentence that does not make sense. Tired. I am.

edited in 2022 - added in the name of the books bought

Baby proof - Emily Giffin 

Love the one you are with - Emily Giffin 

Heart of the matter - Emily Giffin 

Something borrowed - Emily Giffin 

An Offer from a Gentleman - Julia Quinn

The Romantics - Galt Niederhoffer

The Wedding Girl - Madeline Wickham

The Book Lovers Appreciation Society - Compilations. 

One Fifth Avenue - Candace Bushnell

Confessions of a Shopaholic - Sophie Kinsella

Bookends - Jane Green

Everyone Worth Knowing - Lauren Weinberger

Minx - Julia Quinn

The Magician and Mrs Quent - Galen Beckett

Black Thorn, White Rose - compilation

Bitten - Kelly Armstrong

The Hungry Ghosts - Anne Berry

6th Target - James Patterson

Starting Over - Tony Parsons

Sunshine After Rain - Dee Williams

My Favourite Wife - Tony Parsons

Letters from Iwo Jima - Kumiko Kakehashi

Guillermo del Toro - The Strain 

We were young and at War - Diaries. 

Kids books - disney pixar , toy story, cinderella 

Frommers - Venice

Rick Steve - Rome

Update Kucing Untuk Bulan Ini

Fasha had been sick for a few days. Not her usual prowly self. She had been sleeping 20 out of 24 hours, and macam invalid. Would only eat a few bites and drink watery milk from my hand. Kucing-kucing aku ni memang mengada. So took her to a vet favorite kucing2 ni near Setiawangsa. 

Puteh had been there 3 times, Kurap one time, so now turn Fasha pulak. Almost every month pergi vet. Dear governments, can we have some tax rebate for vet bills. At least this one is the least expensive vet, but at least Fasha seems to be responding well. The vet said she have a fever and gave her an injection, by night time she is beginning to get all prowly again. So the medication must have been working. So hoping she gets better and get on my nerves again. 

Puteh is whipped

Now Puteh is integrating well into the household. Well, except he kept on getting beat up by Kurap. Whenever Kurap is feeling pissed and she saw Puteh nearby she will gave him a whack. Kurap tu nampak je comel, tapi gangster. 

He is now a fully domesticated cat. He likes to sit near people. Enjoy being around people. Will not hesitate to park himself on top of you if you are watching TV. And he got himself snipped (neutered /spayed) and ever since then lagi la tanak keluar rumah. Well at least, after getting spayed, he never sprayed around the house again, not anywhere I noticed at least. And kalau bukak pintu pon, 2 ekor female tu will bounded joyfully out the house, but he just sniffed at the doorstep and got in the house again. 

Also I noticed that he likes a belly rub. I can never give Fasha and Kurap a belly rub. Maybe kucing jantan je kut suke cause I remembered that Chics likes to cium perut Ah Beng. Hihi. If I ever do that to Kurap yang montel dan berlemak tu, I will look like Freddy Krueger had given me a facial. 

Can I get any cuter?

This sucks

The thing that sucks with starting out new project is on how helpless you feel. Everything is new. Everything is unfamiliar. There's nothing to compare it with. Completely blind. I feel like a new starting out fresh graduate. 

I sometimes wonder how did I came to work in a technical line after trying to resist it so long. I wonder why I persist so long. It had been almost 4 years now. Wow. The longest I had been at a company and still no plan to move. I am getting way too comfy here. 

With this short brief thought, I will now head home. Tapi masih berlengah2, because KL is usually jam. I used to choose my workplace nicely. Like before my office move, getting to home from office is a breeze because the AKLEH is just metres away from my parking lot. Now, sometimes getting back to home is more stressful than the whole day at work. (either I hate driving or work is too easy?). 

Review: A Clash of Kings

A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin

My rating: 5 of 5 stars



A Clash of Kings is set a few months after the ending of Game of Thrones.

It picks up again with all the impending wars of the realm and the fight to get the thrones.

In this book too, I am introduced to a whole lot of other characters. In the first book, I only need to acquaint myself with the Stark and Lannister house mostly. In this book, I have to get to know the Greyjoy and Baratheon. In the next book ( from the sneak peek I read ) , it will include the Tyrell House. So many characters so little plot advance.

Things move slowly in this book 2, which I guess is only the start of my frustration on this series. I am pissed at first to get to know this relatively new characters. I was thinking " I want to know only of the old characters not caring a whit for the new one". But I guess the author feels that for at least 1 side of the realm, we must have a narrator. It does give a clearer picture, but it does slow down the story. By the end of the book, you feel like the plot barely move.

However the book does not feel slow, it is fast pace enough, chock full of court intrigue ( just the way I like it ), warring and angst. So many angst. In the middle of the book, it got a bit much, and I have to take a breather again, but right at the end, it picked up steam again. Which left the readers wanting more.

While I do have the third and fourth book, I don't think I will read it so soon after I had finished this one. It is best to take a break and read a few other books in between before resuming the series. After all, I think George R.R. Martin had only finished a few chapters of the 6th book. We are a long way from over.

I give it all stars because I love on how everything I predicted of the characters still does not come to be or turn out completely different. I wonder what they'll do next.





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MPH Warehouse Sales...

Currently sitting at home watching Gilmore Girls. Bliss I say. It would be more blissful if my computer is not acting up again (which it only does that when my husband is away? What is up with that)  While other people got to go to open houses or twtup but I have nothing to do and just sitting here idling my time away. Anyway, yesterday spent some time at the MPH Warehouse Sale after I heard some excellent sales on graphic novels. But I suspected that all of the good ones ( like Watchmen and Fables ) had all been gobbled up. They are only all those superheroes crap left. Bah! So I didn't buy any of them. I guess I have to depends on my 10% off Borders discount card then for graphic novel purchases.

Instead, this are my loots 

This pic looks tilted to you? I sometimes have problem taking a straight pic. 

I counted around 16 books which equals to about RM113 altogether. I am somewhat excited to get the Tash Aw book that I had been eyeing for a while, but was around RM40 in Kino the last time I seen it. So at this sale it is purchased at RM15. Good enough price, something to sneeze about ( I think I may use that phrase wrongly). 

But I am especially excited when I saw 'Furious Love'. I almost missed it, but I decided to roam around the place one more time, (practically skipping the RM20 books, I mean RM20 books?  For a warehouse price? The galls! But of course it is better than the so called book fair that sometimes just shaved off 10% - 20% of the price. Which is like...  have no words for it. But when I came upon this type of book fair and saw the final price, I'll practically storm off the premise and fuming at the mouth. It is not a pretty sight ). 

Anyway back to the book, which I saw and I kinda squealed when my eyes fall upon the dust covered book. I had been looking for this! The last BBW sale didn't have it. Maybe the upcoming one got, but who cares. And of course I realized I have at hand the movie that practically spurns this book. The movie where Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton ( I kept on referring Richard Burton as Burt Reynolds in my head) first fall in love even though both are married , I think. Of course the warehouse sale do not have this movie on sale, I bought the movie at Carrefour months before. Haven't watched it yet, so I am now conflicted on what to do first. Read the book first or watch the movie first? Or the other way around? Sigh... such dilemma. 

Oh btw, the book sale at the MPH warehouse sale is ok enough, you can't get the popular books below RM10, unless you dig hard enough. However I find a few gem at around RM 5 and RM 3 prices, so there's nothing to bitch about. Overall it is quite good. To find something to your taste and very cheap, you may need to prepare to dig deep, where good airy clothing and braced yourself for lot of dust, but it was worth it. All the not so cheap one are displayed prominently but those are good prices, like you can get the GoT books ( all 4, not the recent one), at RM88. A lot of Sophie Kinsella and Madeline Wickham at RM20, and so does a lot of popular authors. Older books or obscure authors, you need to dig though a whole lots of boxes. Which is why a lot of my books purchase are the one prices at RM 5 or RM 3. Hard to get disappointed if you're just paying just a couple of ringgit for it. 

I think I am a hoarder of books. 

p/s: Kurap almost got hit by a car just now because she was hell bent on chasing after that darned bunnies. At least the driver stopped and laughed when hearing my screams. He was probably thinking crazy cat lady. 

Review: A Game of Thrones

A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I had saw the series first which was amazing and lovely and intriguing as hell.

So after the series end and a feeling of despair settles in, I bought the book so I can relish again the story.

I never care much about fantasy before. I try to get into LOTR, but without success. I think I like something with the YA feels to it, which is why my preference is more to that. The other fantasy series sounds something like an old bore or someone who fancy they want to be an old bore would write.

So the writing on this story surprised me a bit. Maybe I was expecting LOTR style of writing, but George R. R. Martin is surprisingly to the point, direct, succinct. Quite a number of times you might even find a glimmer of humour that is incredibly lacking in most fantasy stories. Which I like, because sometimes it is so unexpected that I can't help laughing out loud.

I love the plots, the intricate characters, court intrigue, the many lords and ladies that it make your head ache trying to keep up. It created a wonderful world and I find myself unable to tear myself away from the book. So I rate it amazing, because that what I felt like when watching the series AND read the book.

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Various Updates after Raya

Selamat Hari Raya to all! 

Tengah mood malas so updates bentuk point form okeh. 

• Raya kali ni macam pantas. Perhaps sebab husband is here so sume mende nak buat. So my raya end when he goes back to Turkmenistan this week. Sebab aku malas nak drive sensorang di kala jem untuk pergi beraya rumah orang. 

• My youngest brother is now engaged. Gile pantas. I felt old, and maybe I am because I'd been thinking that this year I'll be 30, but my husband replied that he'll be 30 (or is? God. I am horrendous), then I am only in the sweet sweet age of 28.

• That being said, I am really bad with birthdays. Don't take offense ok? Just because I don't remember your birthday does not mean I like you less, I am just horrible with dates. 

• The Petknode issues had simmered a while but people are still outraged. I am like Chics where I mudah lembut hati and felt kesian to the owners of Petknode. I think they majorly fucked up. I think perhaps they did not mean to be cruel but they inadvertently left the cats to die. I think perhaps they had entrusted it to someone else but the someone fled. However it is still their fault. It is their business. They should not be too busy to at least look into their shop to see if their shop is ok and whatevs. They should take more responsibilities. It is terrible, they're majorly stupid and the one who suffered are the poor defenseless kitties. 

• Now, I fetched the cats from the pet boarding on Sunday, and all of them looks pleased to see me. Especially Kurap. She is incredibly affectionate this past few days, and my husband is somewhat pissed that Kurap acted like he didn't exist in the house. I would be devastated if my cats are the one who suffered the same fate as the one in Petknode. 

• I am back to work now, on Wednesday dan tengah liat lagi. However I can't afford to be liat because I have deadlines. So... taa for now. Main game kejab dan buat keje. 

I rather face monsters than human

That's seems to be the feeling I felt in my dream. 

I kept on having recurring dreams where vampires are after me and taking hostage of my cats. Especially Kurap. 

Gambar sekadar hiasan

The other night  I dreamt of real people intending to do me harm, and it scared me witless. I found myself reluctant to sleep because in my dream the people came to me in my sleep and I was scared. Sleep of course came and I dreamt again of vampires and cats and all is right again in my world.  I rather much have vampires and zombies and aliens ( I dreamt of them quite often too) in my dreams than psychopath made of real flesh and blood. 

Perhaps the state of the world scares me. The other night I was haunted by the face of the father who lost his 2 kids. Last night news reported there was a hit and run in Kelantan where a vehicle hit 2 kids on a bicycle. Seeing those poor kids still bloodied and still clad n school clothes while being watched silently by their father at the side of the road, there is no word to express how horrible it is. The perpetrator are still not found. 

Aside from this sad business, the many cases of robberies, acid splashing, murders are making me feel quite disgusted with humanity. I really can't understand how these people live with themselves. What kind of things they'd been taught at when they were small that they could bring harm to others? Of course tale of murder is as old as time. But do they grieve for their wrong doing ?

When  I was small  my sister and mother, caught a young man stealing mangoes from the trees at our home. We never mind if the kids climb up and take a few mangoes but this guy actually brought a guni to put all these mangoes in. My sister ( who is a small fearsome little thing) berates him and asked him what he is doing, and all he said is "Mintak maaf kak, mintak maaf, saya orang miskin". 

Is that the excuses that they keep telling themselves? Time is hard so it is ok to steal, cheat, kill? 

So give me monsters anytime. In my dream I run and fight and face these monsters fearlessly. When I dreamt of human psychopath, all I do is cower.  

A pile of book reviews

The Long Secret by Louis Fitzburgh

This is the sequel to the precocious tale of Harriet the Spy, which I had read some time ago. I like Harriet the Spy, this one, not so much.

Summary:

Harriet the Spy refuses to become ruffled when an unidentified person starts leaving disturbing notes all over the quiet little beach town of Water Mill. She’s determined to discover the author of the notes. And she drags her best friend, mousy Beth Ellen, into all kinds of odd and embarrassing situations in her efforts to reveal the culprit. Observing in her own special, caustic way with her ever-present notebook, Harriet the Spy is on the case. But will she be ready to face the truth when she finds it?

Review

The Long Secret by Louise Fitzhugh

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I like the book towards the end. When the characters shows more heart and emotion. I appreciate the ending.

However, this book felt bland . I like the first book well enough, but this one, I need to force myself to continue reading it.

I have no idea why I have a hard time imagining the story. Usually I have no difficulties in building the world the characters live in, in my min. However this book, make me feel dull and without imagination. Whenever I pictured the character it is against a white canvas. They interact with nothing. They only have emotions which we are not given glimpses of. Yes, even emotional Harriet, feel lifeless to me.

Maybe I am the only one who feel this way. Maybe I am just depressed when I am reading this book. But joy, is not what this book bring forth in me.

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The Rest of Our Lives by Jeannie Johnson

Summary:

The Second World War is now over and people must count the cost. Three women from very different backgrounds meet when they find themselves on Bristol Temple Meads station waiting for the return of their loved ones. Edna's fiance Colin comes home crippled. Charlotte's doctor husband, who was a loving and gentle father, returns a violent, disturbed man with no love for her and even less for their children. Polly, who is waiting for her GI boyfriend Aaron, is once again disappointed when he doesn't arrive. Adjusting to men who are very changed and, in Polly's case, to no man at all, is the core of this story. However, during the war years, the women have had to cope. They too have changed, and they harbor secrets that would be best kept

Review: 

The Rest of Our Lives by Jeannie Johnson

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I enjoyed the book wholeheartedly and it was a fast read. Manage to finish it in 2 days.

I'd always been interested in the stories regarding women during the war. The one that were left behind and kept waiting . I like the characters setup, though Edna pisses me of with her indecisiveness. The writing is simple and no nonsense which I appreciated.

I guess towards the end, I felt like there's could be something more. Whatever that is I don't know which is why the 3 stars.

All in all, it was an enjoyable read.

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Waiter Rant by Steve Dublanica

Summary: 

In this book, the pseudonymous Steve Dublanica (a.k.a. Dan John Miller) achieves for waiters what Anthony Bourdain did for cooks in Kitchen Confidential. By the evidence of Waiter Rant, not even his seminary classes or job as a psychiatric worker could prepare Dublanica adequately for what he would experience pulling shifts at an upscale restaurant outside New York City. He tells story after entertaining story about customers, co-workers, and bosses who range individually from the imperious to the clinically insane. Along the way, the author-waiter delivers sound advice on proper tip etiquette and the art of getting good service

Review: 

Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip-Confessions of a Cynical Waiter by Steve Dublanica

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I had been a fan of the Waiter Rant blog. Nowadays after the publication of this book, his update had been sporadic.

Anyway, on this book, I enjoyed reading it, but as a person who had read all entries in his blog, I guess, it feels redundant. Except for a few chapters, I felt like I had read most of the sordid true tales in the blog, and it was rehashed with more words in the book. The flow of the book is a bit uneven, felt disjointed from one chapter to the next. Like many other reviews before this, it felt like you are reading a collection of blog entries. I wouldn't say he is not a good writer, his style of writing is entertaining, though at times it feels like it is trying a bit too hard to be too philosophical (whenever he start waxing poetic philosophical stuffs, I tend to skip those paragraphs) and at times trying too much to be funny, when a simple fact should suffice.

I guess if you have never read his blog before, you might find it interesting and an enjoyable quick read. If you had, like me, it feels like revisiting entertaining entries while feeling is my money worth spending this much when I can just reread the blog?

(Though I have no regret buying this book as I got it cheap at a warehouse sale. My recommendation is: Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential for a raw tale of the restaurant industry. ).

Random on Sunday

I have no idea why, but  feel like this Ramadhan was harder than before. Maybe because I gotten sick during Ramadhan? Or I am alone at home? 

I had finished watching Felicity. I felt quite sad towards the end, that I can no longer have my fix of Ben and Felicity adorableness. This only spurs me to see Dawson's Creek. If I can find the DVD. In the mean time, I'm watching Gilmore Girls and reliving how cute Alexis Bledel is and how youthful Jared Padalecki looks then. 

I can't wait for Raya, but more because I can't wait for holiday. I hope this week go fast. 

I am now quite addicted playing with the games on google plus. If you do play, add me! Especially Zombies Lane. I love that game but I need more people so I can chomp on their plants!

Manage to give a bath to all 3 kittehs. It does do me good as I was having a fever and a cold this weekend, so a little sweat always do you good in my opinion. However it resulted in me 'melepek' at 2pm. 

On Friday I am on MC. I parked my ass on the sofa and watch documentaries in my feverish state, while playing Zombie Lane. I quite like watching the Dog Whisperer. (a show where a dog trainer helps people to train their aggressive dogs). I wonder if he can handle cats. Especially when giving them a bath. Or giving them pills. 

I really want to drink my Diet Coke in the fridge. 

Selamat berbuka y'all.

Cat Sanatorium

Last weekend 2 of my cats are sick. 

Kurap came home on Thursday all quiet. Soon she was puking around the house. I am immune to cat puke by this time, well almost. The one Fasha let out last week is enormous and disgusting but I manage to not retch next to it. However the one that Kurap let out is worrying because I can see blood in there. This is her on Friday night , where she had found a nook she want to be in. 

While Puteh came home that same evening limping. He was limping a while, but I didn't bring pay much attention because I am lousy, also it is also a bit on and off limp. 

By Friday, he can only walks with 3 legs. That it is him on the same Friday night where Kurap is asleep in her nook, he took position on the sofa and prop up his hurt leg to a position less painful to him. 

I now have 2 sick cats in hand and brought them to a vet on Saturday. I worry more for Kurap because all she wants to do is lie down. However on the way to the vet, she became incredibly active and mewed and clawed around her carrier. Of course when Kurap start up in the car, Puteh also mewed in unison. I swear they were synchronizing their mewing at one point when I was in the car. 

( Sometimes I called this guy who pet boarded my cats, and he do home delivery service. Every time I sent Kurap in his car, Kurap is incredibly loud in her protestation. However can he drive from Ampang to Cheras with that godawful persistent mewing? I had a headache from the 15 mins drive to the vet ). 

Kurap was worrying me a lot because she wouldn't eat any food at all. While I don't think Kurap is really fat, she's maybe a tad bit overweight and sudden loss of appetite to an overweight cat can be dangerous. So the whole weekend consisting me waving a considerable amount of food in front of her nose. It ranges from dry kibbles, wet food, boiled fish, cooked canned tuna, chicken, chicken soup. None she deign to even lick.  I haven't done so much cooking even for myself. 

All she ever do is just sniff it, then make some retching sound like a nauseous pregnant women might do if they smell tempoyak, and move away from the food. I spent the whole day yesterday, chasing her and forcing food down her throat. She does not like me at all yesterday. 

By nightfall, she was tired, I was tired, Puteh is neglected and Fasha pulak is now sick. (However Puteh get better right away after he got the medicine so I tak worry). 

This morning however Kurap woke me up looking cheery than I had seen her the last few days, so I accompanied her to her food and she will eat a small amount of it if I'll slowly rub her back while she's eating. At 5.30 am. At least it is sahur time. 

Now I have to monitor Fasha pulak and she better get better much quicker. Because I can't stand another round of waving food or chasing to force down food on a sick cat.

Bloggity blog

Sometimes I wonder if I privatize my blog, I will have more to blog about? 

Or maybe I should just accept the fact that I am like many other was just following a fad? 

But I used to love blogging. I used to think what I want to write and store all this little nuggets of observation, insight, conversation to be put in here. Nowadays, I am just contented, to read, read and read. Read books, read tweets, read blogs, read gossip sites. 

When I open my blog nowadays I can only do book reviews. Maybe I should change this blog name to - Dils Reads Books and Spout it Here? Or start a new blog and jot things in here occasionally. But when I want to abandon the blog, I will find myself itching to blog. 

So blog blog blog. Maybe I'll set it to private. I think whenever I decided to close down the blog, it will be set to private. And perhaps then I'll write in abandon, without thoughts, grammar nazi and secret people stalking through here secretly. The thoughts seems to be liberating. 

In the mean time, I think, you'll only get book reviews. Maybe I do need to change the title? 

Btw, Selamat berpuasa to y'all. Been to param ( Haha! I am calling it PARAM to irk you) only once this week, and spend way too much and the thing sold in PARAM (*snort*) nowadays, is way expensive and you'll always regretted it after you had finished one plate of nasi during the buka puasa. I think I will only go there to buy my stock of susu segar. Do you know it? 

I took this pic from here.

It is the best milk ever. I especially like the corn flavoured and the strawberry one. Not too fond of the chocolate one, but that is one of the few chocolate milk I can down ( I hate chocolate milk, it always disappoint my expectations) . When I was small, I think it was sold 90 sen. And then RM1. Now it is RM1.70. Sigh. Mahal ok. Dah la kecik. 3 kali teguk dah habis. But if I saw this being sold, I can never resist buying a few. Few. Not one. 

Hey. Lookie there. I blog.

Many things! Read all about it!

I had been working from home for a while, because the car is at the service center. Gonna pick it up tomorrow.

In the mean time, I had been reading at incredible speed. Both reviews are below. Bossypants which I finished in one sitting at the service center. Chasing Harry Winston is while at home. 

Chasing Harry Winston by Lauren Weisberger
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I don't know what I was expecting. I guess, perhaps I have difficulties warming up to the character at first. All of them excepting Emmy (and even she grates on my nerves sometimes), is not really likable. The stories and character even with their inner struggles seems shallow to me.

I guess maybe I was expecting Andi voice here ( from Devil Wears Prada). Andi was a great character, she's flawed but she's human. These 3 best friends seems like caricatures. I took great stock in characters. I can stand if a plot is flawed or the writing is a bit choppy, but if I can't identify or like the characters the book does nothing to me.

All in all, it was good towards the end, but it takes time to get there. Overall there is a blandness to this book that make the whole read just 'meh'.

Bossypants by Tina Fey
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Bossypants is both autobiographical and advise book.

It was funny. Insightful if you want to learn how to be a boss or performer. But overall it doesn't really portray Tina Fey. She give you a glimpse of her life and how her mind works (and some of them I totally agreed with ), but that basically it. I respect the need of privacy but it is jarring with all the celeb tell all these days.

The book have its funny moments, but the moment is not as close together as I hope. But maybe it is unrealistic of me to expect all of her life / outlook on life is a barrel of laugh.

It is a good, light read but you'll never learn anything more of Tina Fey than you learn of her in the media.

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Rush hour weirdness.

On Monday I was forced to use the public transport and there I was sweating at the KTM station waiting for the Komuter to arrive, when next to me a group of Japanese ppl was laughing and joking around and taking pictures in front of the public toilet O_O . I guess other people from other countries always took pictures of their technological advance toilet, that they think it is nothing unusual to take picture of our sadly smelly filthy looking toilet. It boggles the mind really. 

Anyway, totally forgot that KTM now have women only couch, I entered the usual one and I was situated right in front of an Indonesian armpit, beside a woman boob and to the left of the Japanese armpit. While trying to keep my balance I placed my hand on the pole and was surprised of something soft. It seems that I was putting my hand smack right onto the woman boobs and my finger was prodding it. It was deeply unsettling to me, but the woman was curiously blase about it. At the same time I was distracted that the Japanese was unbuttoning his shirt right next to me. 

I was immensely relieved that my stop is only a stop away, and I could enter the LRT Putra. KTM is really the lowest of the low of public transport. I know because I had taken a bus to work in PJ before, and the rush hour bus journey is/was a ten times more pleasant ride than a 5 mins KTM rush hour ride can ever be. I am curious if they'll ever find a way to improve it. 

No wonder in my car-less day I have so many things to blog about. Look at the amount of things I can blog about from just 10 mins of public transport ride. 

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Cats!

Fasha likes to hang around my sister house. My 2 nephews are always excited to see her but she just sat composedly licking her fur. The youngest one repeatedly gave her racquet, balls, swords asking Fasha to play with him. He thought that the cats in real world is the same as in cartoon world. 

Kurap is being Kurap. She looks pissed whenever I gave any attention to Puteh, but overall she is contented as long as she have a comfortable place to sleep and her favorite food. 

Puteh is noisy. He constantly mewed, cried and making various noise and will only stop if I let him roam around the house. However I can't trust him to roam around because I am afraid he would pee wherever place he chose. So right now he is mewing and beckoning to be let inside. ( He is place at the back)

Ok. I think that is a long enough post. Most of you short attention people I think had already left the site. Hell, maybe I don't have any reader left. Except you! Yes, you!

Dream a little dream

I had the weirdest dream.

I dreamt that someone stole all my credit cards and bankcard. Then to cheer me up husband and friends drop me off at this historical place that does not exist in this world, so I can walk to and fro to my heart content. It was suppose to be some old hospital/monastery which looks that it may crumble to the see. And of course when I went up there, bits by bits it crumbles to the sea. Then it got very confusing, with images of bags washed up on shores, various semi naked people carrying knives, random dictator seizing my wallet, hordes of sick people still at the place looking for treatment and not budging from their spot even though the place is gonna fall down. Weird I tell you. 

Then for a second there, I thought I have more to say, but then it eluded me. Maybe I need to type on notepad like the old days.

Adrian Mole - A diary of an adolescent boy

My review of a book posted on Goodreads

The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4 by Sue Townsend

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I first read Adrian Mole, when the character is in his 40s I think. While it is amusing, I don't really get what the fuss is all about.

When I read this book, then I understand. I need to start at the very beginning to really understand how awesomely weird Adrian Mole is. He understand that he is kind of fucked up, but he never (nor will he ever) really understand how truly fucked up he really is.

I love that the book can make me LOL in the middle of the night. It is truly amusing and funny, and even though he is incredibly annoying to all, you can't help but feel that he is actually really kind and just lovable to readers.

This is definitely one of the book I won't hesitate to pick up again.


View all my reviews

I need to lose weight

A sketch of Kurap I did when she was sprawling in front me. That is the only one that remotely looks like her. Geram tgk perut bulat die.

For the reason of I can't find/too late to find a tailor for baju raya, and the only one I can wear (the baju I tempah last year but never wear) I need to lose some weight to fit into. Such is the first world pain of middle class women everywhere. 

In other uninteresting news, husband is here! Not too long, next weekend he'll be off again but I'll not dwell on it too much. Also puasa is starting very soon, at the very least I'll have the Ramadhan month to contemplate by myself and all.

Of the cat, Puteh is now back at home. He can pee on his own but not in the litterbox. I haven't the heart to scold him, but it does get very tiring to clean up after cat pee all the time. I tried to express his bladder and he protested way too much. However after I tried unsucessfully to express the bladder, he did pee right afterwards on somewhere else. He looked so sullen afterwards kinda like "I know how to pee, no need to press on me ok, let me show you" . Mengada betul. Jentik kang. 

Maybe I'll bring him to another vet to really show me how to do it later on. He also now like to follow Fasha everywhere. Awwww, Fasha have an admirer. 

Other than that, I have been shopping way too much, tapi besok pegi Sg. Wang (main adalah Low Yat to search for new computer. My computer sometimes refuse to start. I have to bang on it repeatedly then it would sputtered to life) . I love Sg Wanggg.

Random Friday

Hello!

Selalu kut blogging sejak 2 menjak ni. Perasaan membuak2 so kena la cari outlet. 

Btw, the supposedly illegal rally thing tomorrow is gonna be a hassle. Now I rarely comment on politics, but I do believe if people wants to make a political rally and are trying to go through the appropriate channels should be given a chance to do so. People are not stupid, but all these incredible precautions are making us nervous. Before this we are thinking this is just gonna be a normal-ish political rally and somehow it had turned out to be chaos. This does not look good all around. And somehow I think if the BN wants to have a fucking parade with fireworks in the middle of the day around KLCC, the government would give their blessings with confetti thrown in too but other body that clashes with the govt have to huddle miserably at the stadium where no one can access it. ( I somehow have mad image of someone in the govt giving money to bomoh hujan to make it rain only at the stadium tomorrow).

 Tetiba aku nervous ape aku type kat blog ni. Tapi helloooo, tak popular kut aku.

Well in another subject, but more serious to my well being, Puteh is sick. Kesian ok. I sedihh. (Tetiba on mode mengada) .

In pain, angkat kepala pon tak larat. I very the sad.

Pagi semalam he was A OK. I let him out for a while and he went wandering about 30 mins and came back in again. But last night  I found him peeing everywhere. Not peeing, but trying to pee. He was making all this weird sound like he is in pain while trying to pee. It is very pathetic. So I went at the back of the house watching him to see if he can pee or not, and asking him to take his vitamin. Every few mins, he will try to pee and then lie back on the floor looking exhausted. He mewed out painfully when I picked him up. There was one point he was making groaning noises and the 2 cats berlari datang tengok. They just sat there in front of him looking at him in a sad way, as he shivered on the floor. Sampai 2 ekor kucing gangster tu pon did not try to bully Puteh, so I know he is in much pain and needs to go to the vet ASAP. 

By morning, I found him trying to pee and vomiting at the same time, so it is getting more serious. So we went to the vet in Wangsa Melawati that is his usual vet. But dah pukul 10.10 am , 10 mins past its operation starting hours and tadek ura2 bukak kedai pon. Puteh then start lying down in her carrier and convulsing, so I speed to another vet that I know from experience is way more expensive. Tsk, tsk. But I would feel guilty if I didn't try my all while I can afford it. (barely I can say). But Fasha and Kurap recovered quickly when they stay there so apart from the cost, there is nothing I can complain about the place. So he is staying there because he needed a catheter to help get the pee out and drip I think because he's too weak. Kesian die. Tomorrow I'll drop in at the vet to see if he's getting better.  

Gamba Kurap sebagai penutup entri. Die conquer the other side of the bed. I often wake up with her tidur terbongkang beside me

Of complaints

I felt really really out of sorts of late. Even the cats are hiding under the bed, because I kept yelling at them. Totally necessary because Kurap kept on spilling her water bowl deliberately for the fun of it. 

Also the neighbor is making weird noises in the bathroom in the middle of night. I suspect their toilet is clogged because my room smells kinda bad, then it went away, then it came again and I can't pinpoint the cause. 

Then waking up, mood is not much better. I am feeling snappish at even random strangers. Like one stranger who park her car right behind a fire extinguisher where if there is an emergency you can't get to it because there is a car blocking it. I hate that kind of people. Go rot someplace else. 

Then people in elevator who are so impatient that they can't wait for other people to get off the lift. Barely a person manage to get out they are impatiently pushing the close door button. Repeatedly. Gah. The hell la weh. You are not the only one in existence. Be mindful that other people are breathing the same oxygen as you. 

Well, I got all that complaint out of me, I am somewhat deflated. Maybe tomorrow would be better. Of course tomorrow is better. Tomorrow is Friday! Saturday, husband balik! Then Sunday he went somewhere else plak... I tell you I am full of complains. 

And it is weird, but I couldn't stand weird happy statuses. I like enough the good brief one. But I don't like the gushing one. Or the one that is full of exclamation marks. Every! Sentence! Needs to have this!!!! Then this :) :) :) . Gah. Kill me now. Which is why I want to delete FB. Everytime I logged in I feel rampaging like a Godzilla. But I like looking at other people photos. Especially cat photos. 

This is what we called First World Pains. 

Now I want to rummage through my car. 

The Black Magician Trilogy

I felt before this that I haven't used Goodreads to its full potential, but am going to start now. With Goodreads, it became easier to keep track the books I had read and reviewed.

So I had bought the Black Magician Trilogy entah bile lamanye dahulu. The books are quite satisfying and make for a fast read. Reviews below:

The Magicians' Guild by Trudi Canavan

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


I like the characters and tone of the story. The chase became quite boring, and it only begin to pick up around 3/4 of the book, which is no worry to me because I got the next book on my bookshelves.




The Novice by Trudi Canavan

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


The second book in the trilogy is a lot more satisfying maybe since we are reading only about the Guild, so I don't felt thrown from one place to the other like the first book.



So it is quite exciting for me to get to know of this world. It feels Harry Potter-ish to me, as a lot of it deals with how Sonea getting along with her classmates but less teen/children drama, while Harry Potter have his small circle of close friends, Sonea still have none. There is basically no happy ending in this one for all.




The High Lord by Trudi Canavan
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The tone of this book is darker than rest, and maybe because I read 3 books successively, it is quite a surprise to me that Sonea is already a young woman. (while the magicians called her as a young woman right from the start, it doesn't feel like it).


It deals mostly with Akkarin and Sonea, the reasons why Akkarin uses black magic. At the end of the book, we are dealing with war, and the actions being described here is fast pace but clear enough that we don't feel rush when reading the book.


I don't quite like the ending but understood why it must be so. I felt a bit sad after finishing the whole trilogy as it is my thought that this book is the best of the three, but there is another set of the Guild books, that I am looking forward to buy and read.

Random

Malas ni, and I am a feeling a bit semput. Sigh. Mest sebab duduk bukak air cond. I can't really stand aircond during the night, but it it is so hot nowadays. My HTC Weather shows last 2 night was 29 degrees, which is macam temp during the day.

Consumerism

Well, our company had just given out bonus and whats not, and you know what this means, it means shopping?

I was sorely tempted to buy a yellow bag from Kate Spade, but I know I won't have the heart to put down thousands for bag. I am contented to buy rm200++ bags from MNG or Topshop or Zara. I still could not see the point of an expensive bag and why start now.

In the mean time, I could buy whatever book I want! Don't you ever found when you have the means to buy the stuffs you always wanted to, then you kind of forgot what it is that you wanna buy. It just means that it is not really important actually. However, need to hold back and keep some so I can spend on my holiday later on this year.

Cats

Kurap - have now manage to lose one collar and after buying her a new one, lose the bell on the new one. I have no idea where the bell is, and only hope she didn't eat it. I have to buy a new bell soon because I really like to keep track where my cats are by listening to their bells. Kadang2 macam comel je bunyi tu. And with 3 cats and 3 bells , who needs a wind chime?

Fasha - is waking up insanely early nowadays. 5.30 am. Every. Morning. Ugh.

Puteh - I fear that Puteh infection is not completely clear as I can see some reddish hues in his pee. Sigh. So another trip to the vet this time.

Books 

I am still reading the Black Magician trilogy and enjoying it. I skimmed the book 3/4 into it, because I am impatient. I need to stop doing that because it spoils the enjoyment of reading. But sometimes I still do it, because I found I can't sleep because I want to know what happened next, so I skimmed to sate my curiosity. Stupid curiosity killing my sleep and my reading.

In the mean time, I'll be exercising my Borders card again and buying that George R.R Martin books while it is still offering the Value Buy. Though the 2 in 1 value buy only offers A Clash of King & A Storm of Swords OR A Storm of Swords & A Feast of Crows. I think I am gonna take the latter and look for A Clash of Kings later on.

Eh. Lunch!