Chivalry is Dead

Before I proceed with the above, I just have to say... damn. This room is too cold. Cold as a witch tits as what the olden people of the olden country says (New perumpamaan English for the day, kiddies!). I felt like my brain had frozen and the only thing that I can move is my fingers and my eyes as they blink. So probably I am gonna write this post as slowly as I can since I need to continuously warm up my fingers by occasionally hiding it snugly under my sweater.

Usually, on morning shift, I'll take the LRT to KL Sentral to take the opportunity of the free shuttle bus they provide. Some people snickers saying bas kilang. Helloooo. I am embodying the true Malaysian culture of maximising free things ok. Show some support here. Now sleepily waiting for the bus under the bridge while unfailingly feeling like a homeless bum, I observed on the people that share the same kind of work tag I am wearing.

Most of the people seems to not share my sleepiness or boredom. The women are either at the back waiting or sitting or near the end of somewhere. While most of the men make the beeline straight to the spot where the bus will stop. They are not waiting as on queue. More like clustering in one group, laughing with one another and looking around trying to see if somebody will dare to take their spot. Really, I don't think I am imagining this. Its like when the bus came, they went clamoring into the bus to get seats as if a pack of zombies are after them and look quite willing to push any elderly, pregnant women and little children under the bus if they dare to go ahead of them. So thanks the little things in life where I don't see much elderly and pregnant women aboard (and I don't think little kiddies are allowed there) or I would painfully seethe inside. Not to sound racist or (whats the word for people who are prejudice on people from another country), but I did notice that these pack of men are largely consist of Indian guys which I believe do not hail from this land. There are some random Malaysian and other people whom I know of other nationalities included in those pack, but most of the Malaysian guys seems laid back and let other people through first. So hey.. I think our ad might be working. Or they just don't give a crap to go through that hassle of getting a seat.

Now.. not to sound as if the guys need to give up their seat to any random women or me. Heh. Hell, why should they give their comfy spot for some woman they don't know and usually not hot either. But to actually fighting for spot to get into the bus or lrt? Pushing or 'langgar' girls/makcik/ kakaks yang menunggu sama.That is not kewl y'all . Nor does laughing2 in the bus saying jokingly to their friends saying they should give up their seat for others (while we know that they wouldn't) and laughing at people that have problem trying to stand or hold on to dear life while you are sitting on your butt. It make you look childish. Even though we don't think anything of you if you dont give up your seat, we would think even less of you if you do the above.

Sometimes, I kinda miss my colleague from my last workplace. Most of them are Indians and Chinese. They were really... gentleman. Now.. if I dare say the word gentleman to any Malay guy, they would laugh and think that I meant gay. Huh. But these guys, they like really care. They always advise us to take care at night. Willing to help whenever or whatever things we ask for. Always wanting to walk us to the car. Say don't have pon, they will go like. "No.. its dangerous out there. I just accompany you". Its nice. You don't get that level of caring from your boyfriend sometimes. (And hate to admit it, but I am kinda scared of going to my car at night). And I think even the Malays there (few of 'em) were as gentlemanly.. (though I can't see much example in anywhere else). Either they were influence by the power of goodness all around or somehow my boss really knows how to pick the gentlemanly type of guys. Haha.

And they always open the door for the girls. Hah. I know, I know, I was kinda "guling-guling" the last time a guy opened a car door for me and I was struck dumb. But its nice ok, if once in a while some guy would gladly hold the door wide open instead of smirking at us while we are struggling with boxes of papers or laptops and at the same time tagging the door, thinking probably we look funny or am quite a pussy in handling heavy object. No. I did not ask for you to carry my heavy load, even though that SHOULD be nice. However do we need to ask you to help us to even open the door. Instead we are annoyed by those smirk and will think, "damnation, I would open the door myself even if it kills me."

Well.. not to say that only the Chinese and Indians have these chivalrous behavior. It depends on the people I would say. It just happened that somehow my previous workplace I am lucky enough to meet many of em. Some of my Malay friends are beyond nice too but I can't say the same for the rest of my friends and acquantainces. It just that, I found it hard to meet find such behavior from Malay nowadays. So.. why arr? Do they afraid that this not-obviously-a-hottie will think that these guys have a hot for me when they try help? Or is it just what they are?

Me. I blame myself. Probably am being too hard for the other species of my race. Or I just happened to observe them more than any other.

"You are mistaken, Mr. Darcy, if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way, than as it spared me the concern which I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner"

Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Tak Nak Letak Topik

Bole tak kalo nak marah?

My ranting had always been in Malay (Or as so as I can see/remember). So Melayu pasar + English rojak la arie ni yek. In here, there are 2 systems that I need to use. One of them is ok enough, hassle free, except from the now and then minor annoyances. One of the system,... is enough to bring me to tears.

Ade macam marah tak.. kalo nak apdet 1 mende pon mcm tunggu ayam jantan nak beranak. Gahhh. Tu jangan cakap kalo nak apdet 10 mende. Rase mcm nk buang komputer je. Tapi bukan komputer problem pon. Pastu bole tak kalo ade lebey dari 30 ticket masuk sume nak kena solve cecepat. Sume nak kena apdet, time apdet hang. Gaaah lagi. Geram sehh..

Pastu, pastu, kalo tuka skit mende je.. die wat hal. Tanak apdet laa. Lembap laa. Kuar 1001 macam error message la. Argh. Sengal taw.

Pastu, pastu, jangan nak marah2 ye kalo mende tu tak sempat buat.

Sangat ngantuk. Tak saba nak cuti. Cuti2 bole tido, guling2 atas katil, sambil tgk buffy.

Eh.. dah tak rase marah dah.

OMG. My Blog Had Been Hijacked!

That's what I thought at first when I opened up my blog this morning, and notice instead of my old post. There is this post about margin thingies coming right at the top. Something like you see on your spam inbox regarding stocks thingies that you have no idea what they are saying.

Since I had just woken up, I was only slightly miffed.. (my sleep haziness is still very thick) and considered to complain to blogger. All I just did just login to blogger and deleted that post. I think that probably some spammers had randomly found out the address I used to publish blogger post via email. Very irritating la gini. But then my last attempt in using the address to publish resulted in verryyy late publishing, I don't feel any regret in deleting that options.

We will see how it goes. If it happens again, definitely need to complain.

Tomorrow night shift again. Le sigh. Its been ok. I was only at first kinda blurry on when does yesterday, today and tomorrow happened.

I should had gone to the bank to pick up my replacement Mastercard to ganti for the card I cancelled in regards to some company spouting my credit card number like they are in close relationship with me. The story is a bit long, probably another time. Summary goes, in fear of fraud since the company know my complete number and the verification number, I cancelled it altogether before I will get max up on the bill.

My long weekend was not spend on doing anything except a bit of spring cleaning. Only a lil. Since I will go all out on next week. Try not to go out to the city as am refraining self from spending money since I had completely blown my budget (kekonon budget laa) with my shopping spree last week.

But I need to go shopping lor since my shoes look like someone that have polio wears them. Marah taw. I bought these 2 crocodile shoes since they are sooo comfyyy. But they are so flaky. Pakai several months later, strap falling off, heels coming out, the shoes are horrendously distorted. So word of advise. No matter how tempting and comfy Crocodile shoes are, just forget it and head for another shoes store. Soo I need to buy one new comfortable walking a long distance without killing my feet shoe to replace the one that yang cacat itu. Will probably look at Hush Puppies or Clarks later on. Nxt month, next pay. And I want to cut my hair and redyed it again. Whee~~ Nice taw. Tu pon next month ok.

Well.. off to Giants to buy some eating supplies which I can easily cook whenever no one at home.

Crushes

Wheee~~

I have the mood to blog. But nothing to say. Actually.. I have a lot of things to say... but.. well.. uh...... perhaps its not the time.

Its the first time I am on night shift today. Kinda curious to see on how I would hold on to dear life adapt on working night shift. Also a bit worried on my car being parked all nighter in front of those shops.

Got plan to go to uptown for midnight feast.. whee~~~ so excited. Gah.. ckp uptown je.. perut dah lapar. (Lament: Macam maneeee nak kurusss ni kalo asyik laparrrr aje)

Anywayy.. I gotten bored waiting for all these lovely series to start again and had started to watch DVDs. But am keep replaying scenes from Ugly Betty which have Amanda in it in moments of boredom. The look of sadness when she heard Daniel saying I love you to another... *sigh* You know the scene where he says she (Sofia/Salma) takes his breath away , heart beat faster, sweaty palms.. Haih.. I knew it too well... and kinda miss it and its kinda painful when thinking about it, but I still miss it. But.. I digress.

Anyway.. I am soooo in love with the Amanda character in Ugly Betty played by Beckie Newton. She's so sassy and cute and annoying. Love it whenever she coos and purrs and moans. Hahaha.. am so turn on :p And as also convincing myself that I am not a lesbian, let me just say how HAWT Christopher Gorham is. He is Henri, Betty new love interest. Come on.. if in real life, even though if he is such a major nerd and wear grandpa glasses, gals in the office would be swooning whenever he came to any floor. He is kinda like Clark Kent. But cuter!!!

Ok. Girl fan mode off now. Wait.. not yet. Also need to say.. on how utterly mad I am on the spoiler of Gilmore girls episode.. Not that I have anything against spoiler.. more like the writers on Gilmore girls and all fans of Lorelai/Luke in general. I don't like them (Lorelai-Luke) together! And I currently feeling all fluffy and nice and warm just seeing Lorelai and Christopher together, that I kinda hate watching the upcoming episodes knowing what in store for them. Gahhh.

Girl Fan crazy mode are totally off now and I am left with nothing to say. There is always tomorrow.

New Year lagikah?

It's been a bit of a time since I blogged. Heh. No excuse. Just lazy meh. Well.. and a bit busy.

Its 2007. And its now the 3rd of January. Time flies.. and right now it is grudgingly trudging on slowly.. Anyway, before it gets too old. Happy New Year. Hope you all got a nice new year day/night to start off 2007. Mine was... blah.

Everyone since to be hell bent on making resolution left and right. Me... I had made one.. about 2 years ago.. and I think, I had fulfilled almost all of them. So I am going to take a rest from this resolution business for this year and do as what I like.

Well except the kickboxing class. I will now buried that azam. RIP. I don't think so I have the time nor the energy to go to the class. Maybe I will reconsider or change to another resolution/class later on. Heck, maybe I will take that pole dancing class as an alternative.

But as for the other resolutions, I do need to lose a few kgs again. Gahh. Women and their neverending quest to look skinny/slim.

If there is truly a genie in a bottle that grant people wish, I would wish for either 2 things. To have high metabolism (but still great B.O) so I can eat anything without worrying the added 'benefits' OR when I travel by plane, do not throw up.

Yes... if the genie is kind enough to lend me another wish.. maybe a bit more money. At least enough for me to pay off my loans?

__________________________________________________

Ei... gatal tak. Dah post entry yg mengatakan.. post tak sampai.. pastu sampai plak. 3 hari plak tu.. br nk sampai. Eiii.. Gatal.. gatal blogger ni.

New Year Again?

I am so pissed.

I written a fairly medium length blog post, post it, and blogger somehow lost it somewhere in cyberspace.

It do not even gave me some garbled language on why does my blog post was not posted. Gahhh.

Well.. I don't feel much like rewriting again. It wouldn't be as good? or as bad? or as 'feelin'... ?

Just want to say.. while 2007 still fairly new, Happy New Year.

Me? Got no resolution, as written in my previous blog post that are now lost, I just want to do whatever I want or like or have to do. (Not like we think much about our resolution when we get to Feb, March... and so on).

So do whatever you want to do too. Happy resoluting your wishes..

Chicken Chop does seems rather tasty right now in my mind.

Euw

Well hello. This had been a tiring week. I been meaning to blog since ... Wednesday. But exhaustion and doing other stuffs and of course the idiotic Internet connection called Streamyx is acting up thus preventing me from opening up this. And Beta Blogger does get on my nerves.

The new job is going on OK at the moment, thank you all for asking. I am still in the training phase and don't know much what to expect. Therefore I can't really answer if everything would be fine and dandy. But the new girls and guys that are going to be my colleagues seems to be great. At least there is no guy that is looking over my shoulder ALL the time.

I was driving to work the first day. Gah. Me, driving to Damansara. Me who only driving range familiarity are limited from Ukay Perdana to KLCC. After the first day, I resolved to take the public transport. The parking price around there is bleeding me dry.

Yes. As so continue my adventures in the public transport PUTRA LRT, where people are expected to contort their bodies in unimaginable way in any available space in the sardine can.

Ride on the LRT is never boring. Of course my ride in there needs to have musical accompaniment, thus I can never be without my Sony player or my Sony walkman phone. Nonetheless I got a not so pleasant ride back to Ampang few days back. It started as usual with pushing through people and limited space in the carriage.

Somewhere between Pasar Seni and KLCC, there are this huge Singh middle age guy standing next to me. Fair enough. I was holding on for balance at the (what u call those thing dangling for our lil hand to hold on to) , in front of the seats. Then suddenly he was at my back being uncomfortably close. Since it is the rush hour, it was nothing weird.

Then those icky weirdness feeling comes back when I felt something brush my backside. Okay. Uncomfy. Push icky feeling aside since being up close and personal with a stranger in the LRT during rush hour are not unusual and not frown upon (you can sometimes thank your lucky stars if you are push upon the chest of some manly hunky cute dude too) . Then it happened again. And when it happened again the 3rd time, I look up to see the reflection (dah kat underground dah).

Ok. This guy is way taller and humongously bigger than me. He also have a enormous stomach. Okay. Maybe it is his stomach that kept on bumping my backside (still gross.. but wth) . But then I go like.. hello... I am short ok. In no way can his stomach be that low. Gaahhhhh!@#! Another brushing again and again. This time I had it, I meant I am almost spraining my leg getting out of his way but he still manage to brush against me. I don't care which part of his anatomy is being pressed briefly against me. I had had it. I got to go before I bawl right there. So I mumbled something about "I really got to go,' to the person next to me and pushed my way safely out of the vicinity of the guy.

Telling this to my friend and my friend tanye kenapa tak sound. Well... first of all for the benefit of the doubt. I am really not sure if I should be uncomfortable and if it is meant to be something like sexual harassment thingies since I don't really care to turn around and try to look at the guy. And the LRT was packed which maybe can be his excuse for being that damn close. (and I didn't get away very far since the humans wall are so thick and the Singh guy was throwing me weird?guilty?incomprehensible? look from my new equally oxygen choking but less sexual harassment feeling like standing position) But one thing I know, if you are uncomfortable, just get out of there.

I just had one word. Euw.

p/s: Dah panjang la plak post ni. Until here je la. Getting tired. Wanting rest.

Good Bye and Good Luck

Busy lor. Tapi tak berani la kan nak letak busy lebey2 kat sini. Kang kena ungkit plak... (eh.. tapi diri ini tengah mengungkit jua... takdulikblogakukan and akutulisapeapeakumaw dan bagaimanacarapon)

Ehem.. I am super busy today.. cause so many things to do, feeling so drowsy and have only less than 12 hour to pack my things, learn the violin, and do whatever stuffs I was suppose to do but apparently forgot. Instead I blog. Yes, thats absolutely the thing I do. Submit cheque, but HR is closed to regular employee and receptionist not there. Grrrr.

Need to train the new guy before I go back. Delete all incriminating evidence of not working while working in my work computers. Hahaha. Eik.. let me dash upstairs to see if HR or any working personas are up there.

Nope . Not there. Blergh. Got an email that need to send it to another person. Sigh. Email is the best communication. Imagine the time when there is no email when you are working. The horrors~

Well, I'll be going to Ipoh tonight. Probably while they are gossiping, I'll be snoring at the back. Your's truly didn't get a good night sleep plus also need to wake up at 3am in the freaking morning to go to work. I got another lost soul call ( Salah number ) at midnight.

This had been plaguing me since raya. Apparently, somewhere in Malaysia there is a group of Chinese guys believing me to be Ah Siew (as that is what I heard) .. or whatever they called him/her. This guy kept on calling me more than 10 times per day asking for whoever and speaking in Chinese. No amount of "Wrong Number or Salah Nombor laaa", can convince him that I am not the person he is looking for. It get so horrible that I just put my phone on silent and let him ring and ring and ring.

Until I had enough when he kept on calling me when I was shopping. I meant I am trying to find the best bargain here, , OK. Perusing with my hands fully occupied holding bags and also waiting for my brother to ring. Then to have to convince a nitcompoop that he is calling the wrong number, and I was irritated that this guy use another number to call me since I don't pick up the old number which he used to bug me with and he had the audacity to sound pissy. I snapped. So I actually ranted and shouted into the phone to never call me again in both BM and English, in various different ways and different tone and pitch in the middle of Padini, for him to finally understand that the girl that kept on picking up his call was now royally pissed off.

Then I think either the same idiot call again or some of his friends in the middle of the night..asking for Ah Siew. I groggily said "Wrong Number" and end the call. Tadek tenaga to shout to leave me alone. Siap la if he tried to play play lagi.

Ah well. I had cleaned all cache, cookies, incriminating files and emails. Submitted cheque. Hug or shake hand saying goodbye to almost everybody. Write my goodbye email. Try to clear out my own cases. Leave the company properties at TL desk. Look back one more time at my now old office.

Well, goodbye I guess. Sure had fun here at McAfee. Kinda bummed that I couldn't make it to the Annual Dinner for the company tomorrow night.

And will definitely miss my various characters of officemates dearly. Sure won't miss the customer though.

The Red Kebaya

I got the chance to watch the above. Lawa tak the poster? You got to love the poster. Loveliness just ooozes out of the picture. Got interested seeing this movie cause of those beautiful red kebaya. Man. Those are lovely. Wish I could wear those. Or have those. Or have that kinda body. Ehem.. and of course period movie always got me interested. You know.. deep stuff like that.

Hah, kidding. But between love stories movies set now or love stories set in the 1800s. I say give me the then.

Whats the story all about?

Its about Latiff latest photography project. Latiff is a renowned photographer and his current project is on pictures of abandoned houses or buildings. During that journey, he uncovers memories from his long forgotten past. A love story of a Malay woman and a colonial English guy.

Various itty little bit of thoughts on it

After film end, I goes like.. hurmph. Okay. It was quite a beautiful little film. It's not a magnificent film. But it is a quaint lovely little film.

First and foremost I like to commend is on the music score and also cinematography (did I spell that right huh?). I always, always have something to criticize on our local film musical score. I don't understand that for a bangsa that is proud and attuned to its feeling and arts as what our forefathers proved, our musical score in movie always leave me dissastisfied.

The musical score is lovely. A bit haunting. (I love haunting score). It have a thoughtful lovely piano piece in it that is the essence of its score. The joget songs sung in Chempaka club is jolly and is a reminiscence of P Ramlee era. I just wish there were a little more songs or score in it.

I also love the opening credit. The glitters and shimers and flash of camera bulbs reflecting from the Red Kebaya beads. Did I mention how I would love to have one of those? I did. Yes.. I would love to have one of those.

Cinematography . Its not one of those sweeping panaromic view you see in a grand scale movie. But what pictures or scenery it offers is beautiful. I like it especially when it gradually shows what the old house looks before. From a garbage dump to a bright colonial house.

As for the cast, you have to agree this movie have a stellar casts. Most impressive performance have to go to Bob Mercer as John Reynolds. He was great in this movie. Yes, he's not handsome. Yes, he appears weak to these other strong women. But my heart goes out to him. His portrayal of a gentle man bullied by his wife and struck by the exotic beauty of Azizah is as such that me as an audience have such a strong sympathy to him despite him being a weak guy.

Somewhat dissapointed in Vanida Imran though. Was not sure if she was opting to go for the hard to read character or just plain quiet. I was expecting to be drawn to her character and not Bob Mercer. It was hard to figure out what Azizah was feeling most of the time. When Bob Mercer is professing his love, I was almost expecting Azizah to deny that she feels the same way. A bit taken aback that she says she do. (I know. What do you expect la Dila.. this is a love stories meh. )

The other casts are as what they are. Good supporting cast. Delicious on how Samantha Schubert played the evil Davinia. Very wicked. Paula Malai Ali as an European woman putting down the locals or the mixed (offspring of the English and the local), is amusing since she does still look Asian despite her European bone feature.

Now came the criticism part.

When the movie first start, was thinking that it is a bit pretentious. People milling around art/photo portrait laughing, women in long flowing evening dresses holding a cocktail glass. Very New York-ish upper society. But since I am in no upper class society clique either in New York or KL, hey... what do I know eh.

And I wish they were a bit more specific on Latiff line of work interest. We were brought to the scene where his photograph are on exhibition. We don't see the photographs. Then we got these ( very staid proper upright sitting ) reporters asking him that his next projects are very different from his usual theme of picture taking. Huh, much?

The continuity from some scene to scene are a bit jolting too. We were just beginning to be confused on what's going on the last century and then it quickly zooom in the next century.

Am also not sure if I am finding fault between the writing or Vanidah Imran acting in this role. I just don't feel.. the love. I don't see what make Azizah wanted to be with him for love.. and not for security reason. Kinda get the feeling that she is just hoarding free food and shelter from Reynolds willing hands. Yes, she is affected by his kindness. But I couldn't see the other wheels. You know.. the wheels on why do people do the things they do. She just smiles and generously agrees to everything. Man, that's galling. The affection between mother and son are apparent. But the love, the love that make another man to turn away from his wife (OK..granted that is not so hard to do for some men) and a woman who was raised with different values to accept this guy as the love of her life. They don't question that. I am then left questioning if they should do.

All in all, it is a lovely poignant little film reminding us of the past. Could be better. But a whole lot better than the usual fare of Malay movies but I am not rating this as another Malay movie either.

Busy Busy

Sorry guys.

I am too busy at the moment. Or just have no mood. Pick your pick.

Will update laers`.

On a side note, don't it pisses you off if you don't know what the hell going on and people are blaming you for not picking up the pieces.

If you want me to do something, be clear about it. I am not a pyschic to second guess what you need to do next.

Ah well.. happy weekend-ing. Mine is gonna be busy.

Bored Now

How many post had I ever started with bored or boring. Countless. Dila... how unoriginal can you be.

Yada. Yada. I am never that creative. So don't really care right. Right.

Totally bored kelmarin while sitting eating alone, I was people watching the entire scene with interest. Not that there is any anything interesting happening. Nope. No couple fighting. No cute kids frolicking around. No cute girls guys to watch. Just a bunch of bored people trying to let off steam after work.

Then I remembered a picture moment collection by some photographer posted on MSN website. . The photographs shown a number of couple...supposedly bored. What the photographer caption is something like... "how the spark had gone out from their eyes... " something like that.

Mostly they show the middle age and elderly couple. Obviously sitting and not acknowledging one another. One of them shows couple who are too distracted with their children to notice their own spouse. As such as the picture depicts.

If then.. lead me to even more thinking. Not profound deep theological thoughts. Would this people actually like it that they are captioned or labeled as such. So you had one bad day and just don't feel like talking instead just sitting with each other. What right does a person to label you as such boring couple. Maybe they in other night when they are not staring through each other, they had activity such as salsa or even.. pole dancing.

Do they even agree to this picture? I mean.. its not like this guy are just gonna publish his photo at the Fotopages or Flickr to show off his prowess in taking pics. He was publishing it on MSNBC where it was featured prominently to other bored people around the planet. Their friends might look into these pictures and think.. "Yes, they do indeed look unhappy.. I mean just the other night the wife kinda smiled faintly when her husband burped at the table.. ".

Does the photographer goes like.. " Hi guys, I had just taken your pictures. So I am thinking that it would turn out really great, the lighting was spectacular. I was gonna feature this in a webpage. No biggies. Just some random MSN page. By the way, just a minor detail.. my pictures gonna be titled something like boring.. couple.. or something like that. "

Okay.. I am totally rambling. In my world news, my niece was admitted to the hospital yesterday because of pneumonia. She's okay. Just moody that she got admitted. Her mom informed her that she is gonna be going to a hotel.. and the hospital lobby is very nice and all so she got really excited. She realized that it is all just a ruse when they ask her to lie down for them to take x-ray. She was traumatic from her last hospital experience when she was admitted in some French hospital when she was in Vietnam. Can't blame a girl for the paranoia. I would be freak if I don't understand what the hell does the doctors and nurses are talking about when hovering around me.

I got the bit of the pneumonia blast. So I am quietly sitting at home tonight with a headache to cure and a sore throat to recover to. My voice had also changed drastically to something scary. So its really boring to talk to people at this moment. Some people might think I was a man who had not yet changed completely.

Well, I'm penning or typing off. Have a great weekend. Or what's left of it.

Birthday ke...

Yes.. I am turning 24 today. Or had been as in 3.19 am today . Gah. Its such a big number. I want to be 21... again. And again.

I am trying to be positive today. Trying is the operative word here. Someone remarked that I gotten a tad bit gloomy lately. (Okay.. okay.. more like very gloomy and Okay... Okay... more than one person remarked I am a gloomy person). So as a birthday treat.. I will try to be cheerful today.

Yes. Even if it means waking up at 3 am in the morning to prepare to go to work at 4 am. Even when speeding up the highway was startled by a horrible accident scene where you can see the driver is pinned down by his car and almost rammed into the scene of the car crash itself. .

So do not want to think of accident. Birthday , remember. My birthday this year should be filled with happy thoughts. Granted not many remember my birthday ( I am not saying this to remind those who don't remember).. just that.. I don't really blame them for not remembering. I am myself are bad at remembering birthday. Have to say am impressed at Nia (my lovely chat sis ) who always always remember my birthday without failed. Even though we had never met. Hey girl.. I am so dying to meet you taw.

Also quite giddily awaiting any offers that they might give to a shopaholic birthday gal. I already got 30% discount from PADINI which I gave generously to my sister. I know this would benefit us all since we are always borrowing each other clothes. I got those freebies from OGAWA, massage beanie thingies. Free ticket from GSC. The usual 50% bonus of reloading my DiGi. Why.... I love my birthday.

My birthday treat to myself. I am buying myself a ticket to watch Phantom of the Opera. Not quite a good seat.. but ok enough. Should be.. I am already abstaining from shopping until my trip to Singapore bulan 4 nanti. I know by April 2007, it wouldn't feel like birthday treat anymore. But whatever. I feel like jumping up and down thinking about watching Phantom of the Opera. I had been hankering to watch that since I was 12. That should be the best birthday gift ever for myself.. yet. And to think us girls (Gon, Shim-Shim, Serias) are planning to go to Singapore together. Wow.. due to my very persistent persuasion they agree. Great time ahead!

Okay. Must refrain self from being too happy too early on the day. You know what they say... well.. I don't know what they say. Something like you will get bad news or be sad later on.

But its my birthday.. its a reason for me myself to feel joyous for whatever reason birthday might give joy for. I don't know. Why do people celebrate the day they turn exactly a year older? Probably as someone said to me in one of the birthday wishes, I had reached a year milestone in life, I guess.

And you know what? 1 other thing I got to feel joyful about ... At least this year birthday I wouldn't have to listen to inane birthday song sang to me with guitar accompaniment, sentimentally wishing me happy birthday sent to me in Bubble Talk (kinda like free voice mail). If somehow I got it again, I will probably puke myself until I'm unconcious. (Yes.. I am an ungrateful girl)

Well, Happy Birthday to me.

Unchangeable but different

I went back to my hometown last weekend for one of my good friend wedding. Since the wedding reception is on Sunday and I need to work on Monday, I only spent a considerable amount of time on Saturday during the majlis akad nikah.

Glad that I went to the majlis akad nikah tho. It was more calmer and not many people popping in and out of the bride room. So we got some time to catch up with each other news. Looking around at my old gang of the school, I smiled inwardly. I can just remember each and every one of them with the old school uniform. In class. Talking. Doing homework. Now one of us are getting married. Its so surreal.

One of my friends even bring up the silly things we did at high school. On how we were fighting who will get married first. Yes.. now we know it would not be determined by your birth month. And the list of boyfriends (and those are such keepers...) and crushes that we had. Haha. And the things I did and say to the teacher that was pissing me off. We were such a jolly group at school. It seems just like yesterday that we were sitting together at the canteen eating nasik lemak or ayam goreng and sambal (Is it just me. . but does canteen food at school are just yummy and far surpassing some other high class restaurant. Man, I would kill to get that ayam goreng sambal now.)

My friend Sarah house is teeming with guests coming in for her marriage ceremony. My other friend Yam finger is now sparkling with her new engagement ring. Others are busily preparing for work related activities. But looking on, Dz still retain her good natured personality. Yam still very sensible, helpful, know exactly what to do attitude and yet still always manja-manjaing with her friends. And Farah still have her biting tongue. I said to them that some of us are exactly the same as when we left them 10 years ago. Manners, clothing, personality.

Yam replied, "Tapi kau pon macam dulu jugak. Tak berubah". I paused and smiled.

Sigh. Well... changed or not, it feel just like old time and I wonder that I no longer can keep up with them since the distance make it quite impossible for us to always keep in touch. Gossip just don't sound the same over sms yeah.

The wedding itself? The majlis akad nikah.. is pretty much as any other. Got roti jala tho. I didn't eat much. Too full eating nasi ambang for lunch. Also the pak kadi or tok imam as he called himself is a bit weird. My friends and I were trying to refrain from laughing out loud at his speeches. All very seemly... but just too chock-full of Pak Lah and politics. We were looking at each other and wondering if the Tok Imam had came to the wrong ceremony instead. The bride? Sarah was always the one with the beautiful clothes. So of course la she looks very pwitty in her wedding dress. No need to ask. After the ceremony the water tap were flowing freely on our part. Except for me and Dz. Both of us were never that emotional on this sorta things. We just raised our eyebrows humorously and 'usik' others whose eyes are red.

And its also the first time I met Sarah husband. He looked so young, but he is a year older than us. With his baju melayu and samping, he look like those boys we saw coming back from sekolah agama. But he seems nice and friendly enough which was a huge *cough* improvement *cough* *cough* than *cough again* 'others'.

Well.. that's one down and several to go. Its just gonna be strange. We were tasting the sound of Pn Sarah on our tongue. It sounded weird. So grown-uppish.

Selamat Pengantin Baru Sarah. We got one house to frequent for next raya.

p/s: Phantom of the Opera are coming to Singapore. Man... I am so pysch to watch that. Kengkawan...sila kompem bebtul ye. Weh... sape nak join tengok skali?

Another trip down memory lane with...

Yes, yes I will update. I know I got increasingly lazy. But its due to my schedule really. Still not very happy, taqi :P I woke up at 4 am now to get to work to 5am. So all days things just seems very blurry and very yawny. I am so not a morning person. But its kinda nice to get back at home early and I got to watch some Buffy action alone. (I am a HUGE Buffy fan, so don't keep on asking if I am still watching it..Because, yes I am still..)

Anyway few days back.. or last week, I suddenly had a dream about one guy. No one special. He used to my classmate when I was in school at Johor. We had been classmates for several years, but both of us rarely talk. He was the strong silent type. So its also one of the reason I rarely talk to him. Not to mention he was sitting at the opposite end of the class.

I got a little crush on him I think at the time. Not the real school girl crush where at few months or weeks time, you kinda pine on him or get excited and jump up and down telling your friends whenever he talk to you. Nah.. not that kinda crush. Its even lesser than the crush I have on my previous colleague. I just kinda wonders about him from time to time. And kinda like it when he talk to me.

Well... so its just about usual that I had forgetten about him when entering university. There's a lot of guys out there, damn it! It came as a surprise several years before, in your typical cold Tronoh night I received a sms from him. Don't expect me to remember the exact content of the sms. But I replied..(of course, duh..) and several weeks later we are in constant contact with each other via the wondrous technology we called the mobile phone.

During that time, he told me that he got a major crush on me when I was in school. My oh my, am I ever so flattered *flutter eyelashes in American Southern belle sorta way*. I even found out from my friends his ex girlfriend at his college uncannily look like me. And they say imitation is the best flattery.. We flirted a bit. Oh of course we do. Remember the itty tiny lil crush But its all very innocent via sms and phone call.

Few months down the line, the phone call lessened and as does the sms. He did asked me out in several time, however the time are inappropriate or not suitable. We keep in contact only a few time since that time.

So last week, with him suddenly popping up in my head. I pick up the phone and type down a few words. Click on Send. Several sms later, with my headphone clammed down my ears, I put down the phone on my desk with a smile.

Now I remember why the phone calls and sms lessened. He is a self-important jerk.

How was your Hari Raya?

That's the basic questions you got the first week you got back from Raya hols.

My Hari Raya was fine but boring. Things are quiet since all my sisters are now married and my youngest bro think it would be fine to raya-ing alone at Sabah (he was mistaken since he kept on whining to call us there is no food. Hah.. Padan Muka. Nak sangat rase Raya sensorang) . So it was only my Mother, me and my other brother. My brother also agreed to work for 1st to 3rd Raya. Things are even more quiet.

First Raya was spent with looking after my grandmother. She is wheelchair bound and there is nobody at the house she is staying. I spent the day lolling in idleness, eating kueh raya while reading a story book. Yeah.. how's that for a jolly raya.

Raya 2nd and onwards was more... bising with the arrival of the usual sdara mara and my sisters and their hubbies.

Food this year is not as abundant as last year. But I manage to put on weight even though that usually don't happen before these for Hari Raya ::scowl:: Bah..

I also manage to finish the Buffy CDs I brought back to JB. Reread again several books that I love. Repolish back skills on the organ. Going to the zoo (weird? No... great ways to get rid of pesky children) . Catch up with old friends (only few) and family gossips. I think the only reason I enjoy family gathering is the family juicy history and gossips. Its even better than drama swasta!

Also got the unpleasant realization all of the people in my family (distant or close) are getting thinner while I am consider the fattest. Am so wanting to join my brother raya-ing at Sabah at that moment. And not to forget, the incredibly boring questions shot down to me by sedara2: "WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?". Man. If I would be married, then they would ask.. when would you have a child. If I already have a child, they would ask when the 2nd one would be coming. It is never going to end! I think my sisters smile was a bit tight whenever they answers the above questions (exception of getting married.. that is only for moi only. And my smile is just as tight).

*solemnly swearing to self* will not ask these questions to poor nieces and sdara mara when I will be a matronly kindly stoutish woman.

The aftermath of Raya... I am now officially sick. Gah. Flu and fever.

No niceties

I am pissed today. I am not feeling well. I am just feeling pissed for no reason. So whatever.

And... Jeeezzz. I don't feel like blogging. I felt like ....

I don't know what to feel anymore. It is no use. Yups yups. Whatever the use of it.. what's the use of feeling.

Hahaha.. How morbid. I will laugh tomorrow. No doubt. But my laugh ... it wouldn't be the same right? Its not the same as my laugh... 2 or 3 years ago? And it is not the same laugh as you would laugh? Whatev. I would laugh. Everyone change. But instead of metamorphising to big beautiful multi colored dainty butterfly. I think of myself... of more of a big fat caterpillar munching on tasteless leaves looking at other butterflies going from flower to flower. Not changing. Not flying.

I see everyone is happy and content. Hurmph. I wish.. I could have that sense of contentment.. or happiness. Just a lil bit. But I do, of course... all I need to do is just watch TV.

Sometimes I wonder.. at the obvious lovey dovey feeling that my friends exhibit. You know.. the eye sparkle, the voice softer.. whenever they saw their loved one or talk to their loved one.

I wonder... how they could do that. How they could have that feeling. That floating elatedness thinking the world is beautiful , loving somebody that you knew without a doubt you want to spend the rest of their life with em . I envy them to the point of almost hating them. But trying so hard to be a relatively nice and good friend, I push that venomous thought aside and just not think about it. And continue to watch TV.

The thing is.. I see... things are not well. At all.

On a lighter note or compeletely sane and everyday topic, I would be going back to JB tomorrow. So Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Happy Stuffing yourselves with good many lemak-y , oily food and kueh / kek raya goodies and Happy Journeying back to kampung.

Anyway, I had not yet pack for balik kampung. Grrrrrr.. And I have to go back by bus via Pudu. I don't mind going via bus. I enjoy it in fact. The fact of sitting and not having to talk to anyone for 5 ++ hours thrill me to no end. But Pudu.. gaaahhhh.. I hate Pudu. The smoke. The freaky looking people. The dark and gloomy place.

And I need to stuff my baju kurung into my bag. My beautiful, crease free baju kurung....stuff into my bag. *GASP*. How cruel. Since all my sisters are married now, no one is going back to JB on first raya. So I need to bring all my chosen worldly possesion for raya-ing. I also am wavering on what DVD I should bring back. I can't bring them all... I got nothing to do on Raya and waiting for Raya. Might as well finish the many DVDs of series and Jdos bought but never watched.

Well.. no cards from me this year people. I am too lazy. Whatev.

Maaf Zahir Batin.

...

Fine.

More Series

Hello. The haze is decidedly better than yesterday. And the road are less congested today since Selangor cuti. So it had been a pretty nice morning.

I was anticipating a few new series and of course some ol series back for the fall. I had started before on Greys Anatomy and Shark. God, I sound dull. Anyway....

Runaway

This show is not very popular I think. But I quite like it. It is about a family on a run because their father is framed for murder and wanted by the police. The father wanting to prove his innocence, changed the whole family identity asking his children to chant their new identities while they make a run across the States to hide and also start a new but fake life. Doing this, he hoping that he could prove his innocence in time before they are found out.

It is basically a family drama and have it little plot and twist. Also with the kids starting in school it gave the drama its light hearted moment. Kinda like Everwood meet Prison Break: Manhunt.


Heroes

Most of the guys I know like this series. The slight icky goriness factor , the multiple storylines, the questions arises after each episode end should appeal to some.

The stories is about few individuals, (strangely mostly at U.S) who recently discovered they have superpower. The power ranges from reading mind, flying and being indestructible. Kinda like these people had evolved into the next level, therefore they would have special abilities. A story on how the cope, adapt, accept and what they need to do with their power.

Each person have their own stories. And only two or three characters had now been communicating with each other. It would be interesting to see on how they would come together and what they need to do to prevent apocalypse or a bomb going off in New York.. (that is so apparent), and who is the perpetrator.

I have high hope on this series and was a bit letdown since this show is all gritty and I can hardly remember anyone with a sense of humour in this drama. But it is certainly very interesting. (And maybe I will wait to see if any one of them will develop a sense of humour).



Ugly Betty

This show is a surprising hit. Even for me. Sure I know its going to be corny as hell and as unbelievable as I will be a supermodel. But it is rather good and funny and heartwarming.

Betty work in this great Vogue-like magazine publishing company as the assistant to the editor in chief. She got her job, because of her look and of course the boss boss; which is also the boss father,at the company hired her since her boss is an ultimate player/womanizer. So Betty a plain (very plain) girl, with bad hair and dress disastrously, have to go through the very vicious office politics that is teeming with girls looking like models while helping her also newly position boss to make their magz "Mode" a success.

America Ferrera is a tremendous actress to make Betty as sympathetic, wonderful, sweet yet aggressive at times. And Daniel (Eric Mabius)is hawt! Yups yups. He is obviously hawt. The cast in the series give stellar performance. I can just imagine Vanessa Williams acting with glee on her villain role. They gave such over the top acting, that sometimes I am clutching my side cause of laughing.

And also the thing, I found myself kept watching out for.. is whenever Salma Hayek appears in the telenovela that Betty family always kept on watching. That is hilarious. I want more of that.... If Salma Hayek somehow are googling herself...read this. Continue the thing with the telenovela with you starring in it!! That itself push the show points in leaps. This should be the new drama-comedy.



Okay. I think.. is this the new series I found myself watching? Hmmm.. not much. But Ok enough. I don't have enough time to watch some of them anyway.

I continue briefly with 2 of MY most anticipated show season premiere of..



Veronica Mars

It come out as any other Veronica Mars episode. Great episode. I am kinda weirded out with the whole black eye shadow in sunny days thingies. But hey.. whatever suit you.

The first episode introduce us to some new cast. But let's not get ahead. In this episode, I am glad they threw away the concept of flashback such as episode 1 season 2. Those are kinda confusing.

Veronica Mars started out in college, all in lovey dovey embrace of Logan and with her Scooby gang in tow (Mac and Wallace). Just after the words "not pissed off anyone" are uttered, she manage to pissed off her T.A and got herself a brand new mystery. Wallace new roomie, Piz (Chris Lowell) had all his worldly possession stolen. Piz reluctantly at first (but reluctance disappear as soon as he sees Veronica), gave the case to Veronica. Her sleuthing skills yet again proving to the viewer had not gone amiss in college. First episode also launches the first big mystery where we saw last Mac roomie Parker(Julie Gonzalo), the boy crazy big time tease, are screaming and crying at the mirror finding herself bald. No.. she is not freaking out because she had become bald. (Though I would understand any girl would scream if that does happen too). She is now one of the victim of the on-going rape case in the college campus (as those who had seen Season 2).

Nothing much to comment. Everything in place. Stellar cast, witty , snarky comments, great characters. Got to say the newcomers rawks! I like Piz (Yes.. he is hawt). He reminded me of a puppy dog eager to please whenever he see Veronica. Logan will have a serious contender! Parker is cute, bubbly sweet, sunny beaming like girl. But I am sure as the show progress the cute bubbly sweet thang Parker would be replace with a darker personality seeing the first episode. Hope they would not change her persona that much. She brings different ....zing to the series.


Gilmore Girls

Ah.. Gilmore Girls.

Even more less to say.. With the exit of Amy Sherman Palladino, people are anxious to see if the show would still have its ...charisma.

We are back seeing Lorelai feeling immensely guilty and yet so wanting for it to be over after she slept with Christopher. (I am the minority who like Lorelai with Christopher. No. I don't like Luke.. and Yes. I know the show is bound to bind Lorelai and Luke together since this combination are so popular with everybody). Rory finds herself mulling over a gift Logan left. So basically in true Gilmore Girl style episode, its all about mulling and few side dramas provided by the resident of Star Hollow.

What? It sounds boring? Yeah.. it does eh a bit. And I have to agree that the dialogue, is somewhat, limpid. Yeps. Limpid is the word. Not totally weak. But it sounds... slow. This are what make the shows so endearing to their viewers. The dialogue that ricochets off the wall that you can hardly kept up. But this episode.. is like.. Humrph.

I am not ready to yet set Dan Rosenthal as being a complete moron at his job and not meeting up the standard as Amy Sherman Palladino did. I would still continue to watch with my fingers cross, hoping it would better and faster. It can be that it just an episode.. where they just mulls.


Owh. My fingers hurt. I haven't type so much in my blog for so long.

Apple and Apple and Rotten Apple

You know what pisses me off.

" Why does brand X product is much more cheaper than your product?"
How would I know. I am not the people "up there" who tentukan the price. If I do, I will not be sitting here answering your question.

" Between brand X and brand Y, which is better and what should I purchase?"
Why oh why are you asking me in the first place? I am working for brand Y company. OF COURSE I will say you need to purchase our product and our product can bring you thousand of pleasure.

" I lost my CD, how can I reinstall my product?"
Well.... the answer is in the question I am about to ask you.. if you bought a vacuum cleaner. And you lost it. Do you come back to the manufacturer demanded they do something about it?

" Your company had acted dishonestly. I was promised a discount!! I had purchased the product and manipulated into believing it will cost cheaper.. I want my discount now!!"
Buying discounted product anywhere lesson 101: For any purchase, online, money order, if in the page you are looking at the price have * or "note" next to it, and they are offering a discount, always look into any extra details or the Term and Condition and the expiry date. We hate to point out your stupidity.

" No. I want one <insert preferred nationality> help me ar. Do not wan <insert detested nationality>. That people are idiots and they spik vely bad English!! I don unddistan what the hell they tawk about one. Why can't I spik to <insert preferred nationality>? I wan help now!! or I spik to ur boss."
No. If we could we had help you despite your very bad English and deafening shout. Thus, we need to bring you to the correct place to get help. But we are so glad anyway that we can't help you.

No. That is not the response I would give. Even though those are the one that goes through my mind whenever I am face with this.

I feel tired.

The entry without my spec

I am now typing this without my spectacles. Well.. nooo.I haven't start wearing contact lense again. I lost my spectacles when I was sleeping. I fell asleep yesterday. SHeer exhaustion from overeating. Hahaha. Ehem. Anyway. So if I fell asleep without any of the necessary preparation of going to sleep... you know, eye cream, brush hair, glass of milo and a book on my lap. That means.. I fell asleep while still wearing the spectacles.

I woke up. It isn't there. I think my sis or mom maybe had taken em off. Ad put them somewhere where I can't see or find.

It make me think that this is the time I long for a contact lense. Iused to wear one. No fear. I am not such a geek. It was during my industrial internship. So I can afford to get one. But when I got back to UTP again, it get kinda tiring (having to continuously take it off and on since my sleep hour was erratic) and expensive.

Now, with a steady job (I hope), the thought had flit my mind once in a while. But I also have a condition called astigmatism which is a pain if wearing contact lense. The light at night will become so blurred and glaring that I doubt I can drive that much. But if I want to, I'm sure I can work something out.

Its boring nonetheless if I eery decide to wear contact lense.. Some people prefer me with my specs. I guess they are familiar with the ol look that endears me to them. Is it? Hahaha.. well, I don't know. Some people are pestering e to get contact, saying you will look so much better. without the spec. Some opinion you can laught it off. Some are just... at times.. you are left wondering if they are right.

I prefer wearing specs actually. Easy,/ No need to put a sheet of plastic thingies on my eyeball and peel it off everyday. Not to mention , such a pain if I want to take a catnap.

At times like this, though. I wish I have a contact lense. Maybe I will opt for a lasik surgery. So if I ever go snorkeling again, I won't have to see the coral under the sea looking like some blurred glob of white.

p/s: I apologize forany typo mistake. As you know.. this is the entry I so unimaginatively called..