Friday, January 26, 2007

Chivalry is Dead

Before I proceed with the above, I just have to say... damn. This room is too cold. Cold as a witch tits as what the olden people of the olden country says (New perumpamaan English for the day, kiddies!). I felt like my brain had frozen and the only thing that I can move is my fingers and my eyes as they blink. So probably I am gonna write this post as slowly as I can since I need to continuously warm up my fingers by occasionally hiding it snugly under my sweater.

Usually, on morning shift, I'll take the LRT to KL Sentral to take the opportunity of the free shuttle bus they provide. Some people snickers saying bas kilang. Helloooo. I am embodying the true Malaysian culture of maximising free things ok. Show some support here. Now sleepily waiting for the bus under the bridge while unfailingly feeling like a homeless bum, I observed on the people that share the same kind of work tag I am wearing.

Most of the people seems to not share my sleepiness or boredom. The women are either at the back waiting or sitting or near the end of somewhere. While most of the men make the beeline straight to the spot where the bus will stop. They are not waiting as on queue. More like clustering in one group, laughing with one another and looking around trying to see if somebody will dare to take their spot. Really, I don't think I am imagining this. Its like when the bus came, they went clamoring into the bus to get seats as if a pack of zombies are after them and look quite willing to push any elderly, pregnant women and little children under the bus if they dare to go ahead of them. So thanks the little things in life where I don't see much elderly and pregnant women aboard (and I don't think little kiddies are allowed there) or I would painfully seethe inside. Not to sound racist or (whats the word for people who are prejudice on people from another country), but I did notice that these pack of men are largely consist of Indian guys which I believe do not hail from this land. There are some random Malaysian and other people whom I know of other nationalities included in those pack, but most of the Malaysian guys seems laid back and let other people through first. So hey.. I think our ad might be working. Or they just don't give a crap to go through that hassle of getting a seat.

Now.. not to sound as if the guys need to give up their seat to any random women or me. Heh. Hell, why should they give their comfy spot for some woman they don't know and usually not hot either. But to actually fighting for spot to get into the bus or lrt? Pushing or 'langgar' girls/makcik/ kakaks yang menunggu sama.That is not kewl y'all . Nor does laughing2 in the bus saying jokingly to their friends saying they should give up their seat for others (while we know that they wouldn't) and laughing at people that have problem trying to stand or hold on to dear life while you are sitting on your butt. It make you look childish. Even though we don't think anything of you if you dont give up your seat, we would think even less of you if you do the above.

Sometimes, I kinda miss my colleague from my last workplace. Most of them are Indians and Chinese. They were really... gentleman. Now.. if I dare say the word gentleman to any Malay guy, they would laugh and think that I meant gay. Huh. But these guys, they like really care. They always advise us to take care at night. Willing to help whenever or whatever things we ask for. Always wanting to walk us to the car. Say don't have pon, they will go like. "No.. its dangerous out there. I just accompany you". Its nice. You don't get that level of caring from your boyfriend sometimes. (And hate to admit it, but I am kinda scared of going to my car at night). And I think even the Malays there (few of 'em) were as gentlemanly.. (though I can't see much example in anywhere else). Either they were influence by the power of goodness all around or somehow my boss really knows how to pick the gentlemanly type of guys. Haha.

And they always open the door for the girls. Hah. I know, I know, I was kinda "guling-guling" the last time a guy opened a car door for me and I was struck dumb. But its nice ok, if once in a while some guy would gladly hold the door wide open instead of smirking at us while we are struggling with boxes of papers or laptops and at the same time tagging the door, thinking probably we look funny or am quite a pussy in handling heavy object. No. I did not ask for you to carry my heavy load, even though that SHOULD be nice. However do we need to ask you to help us to even open the door. Instead we are annoyed by those smirk and will think, "damnation, I would open the door myself even if it kills me."

Well.. not to say that only the Chinese and Indians have these chivalrous behavior. It depends on the people I would say. It just happened that somehow my previous workplace I am lucky enough to meet many of em. Some of my Malay friends are beyond nice too but I can't say the same for the rest of my friends and acquantainces. It just that, I found it hard to meet find such behavior from Malay nowadays. So.. why arr? Do they afraid that this not-obviously-a-hottie will think that these guys have a hot for me when they try help? Or is it just what they are?

Me. I blame myself. Probably am being too hard for the other species of my race. Or I just happened to observe them more than any other.


"You are mistaken, Mr. Darcy, if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way, than as it spared me the concern which I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner"

Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

2 comments:

obefiend said...

i think the indian imports went through a different culture system than the western ones you are talking about. back in their homeland that is the only way to board the buss. and after years of doing it that is the "normal" way to do it. i've seen amazing race quite a few times and everytime they are in india the yanks will start commenting on how ungentlemenly the indian men are. for instance this one female contestant was amazed on why there are no female commuters during peak hour. only when she is in the train coaches she realised why. indian men love groping women arses. just like the pervy japs.. haha.

malay men in the other hand are born with a handicap. living in a patriacal society we are used to women tending to our needs. since that is the "right" thing to do. it s all down to the way one is brough up.

i only start holding the door open,being supernice and stuff masa kat overseas. sebab? well lets just say the warden of my house was an old skoll english housemaster who insists on old values and he gave me a telling off one day when i made the mistake of not holding the door for him! bloody hell i say. that was the first time i was being told off for such a "minor"thing.

yeah... holding doors and teman to the car is a bit alien to asian culture.and i was actually laughed at by an ex for opening up the door for her on a date once. kena cop " POYO NAK MAMPOS" once.sooo malu.

as for the lack of chivalrous behaviour sometime deep down inside these overtures are mistakenly understood as showing an interest to a lady.even "old skoll malay gals" scares me sometime. buat baik sikit and they start bugging me on YM and such.annoying jugak! so men like me pick and choose nak tunjuk gentleman or not

kelaka u should mention being a gentleman is often misunderstood as GAY. u know y? pasal gentleman literaly translate into "lelaki lembut" in MALAY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Dila said...

I think you are right about the Indian guys are too use with the culture where they are first and women and children last. I remembered reading an article where the doctors giving out free medicine are exasperated because this strong and healthy men and queueing up first to get all these medical shots and medicine and all those women, and elderly have to wait until they had all finish. This cause the dissipation of health in women, children and the elderly while the men continue to be healthy. Over there, its like the fittest and strongest survive and be damn to all the rest.

Hahah.. I think dulu2 zaman skolah maybe guys afraid to show their nice side to girls because of this reason.. but now.. if they continue to be rude, abrasive, thinking girls like that .. I think probably they should be gay after all.

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