Tiny tot at 3 months

Baru 3 monthsss???

Rase macam dah lama.

Anyway wanna update it but had been crazy busy. Aku benciii. So ni ade sedikit free time meh update sikit. 

So what is new? Point form again yeaahh

Tatkala malam dah ngantuk, tengkuk pon dah tak nampak. 

 - He now likes to meniarap. Bukan dengan sendirinye. Oh tidak sama sekali. Tadek tanda2 langsung nak move his butt, but if I tiarapkan die, he likes to look around with interest dan dalam 10 mins lepas tu die meraung. Tengok2 rupanye muntah. Bile meniarap je muntah. But it was a big step, than before this I tiarapkan die at 2 mths dulu, meraung tak suke. 

- He does not like to sleep time siang sangat. Which made night time easier for me. Tapi kalau ade la mood die tu meragam, sakit nyawa jugak. But bile weekend memang aku penat la. If die dah boring main2 baring2 (which amount to like 10 mins, 20 mins max) then nangis la die mintak kena dukung. 

- Bath time is still hit and miss. I think only TWO time je I manage to bathe AND dress him without him screaming his lungs out. Nowadays usually it is just the dressing he does not like. Aku start letak baby oil je , die dah tak suke. Bathing time, he find it enjoyable, tapi ikut mood. And if kena syampu rambut, mood pon jatuh. Haha. Crankypants. 

Sometimes when he is crying, I took a step back and just look at him. It kinda make you less stressed. This time I took a pic. 

- He lovesss watching his cousin plays. Bile cousin2 die jumping up and down, he will look in glee, hands and feet flailing macam nak lompat dari dukungan dan join sama. Which is why we said, he doesnt look like he want to belajar to roll sebab die nak terus berlari. 

- Badan montelism, next week baru tahu berapa berat, tapi i rase my left arms is muscly dah kuttt. I agak lebih 6 kg. 

- He loves to be outside. So usually sebelom pegi keje, I bawak die jalan luar. Tak lama mana pon. Just enough kasik die nampak udara luar sikit, kena cahaya matahari sikit. Masuk rumah balik. If he is crying time siang and I have no idea what to do, I usually bring him outside. That usually quiets him down. 

- Eh oklah. I nak siap2 blah dan singgah mothercare to buy tiny tot Bumbo Seat! Tak sabar you. Nanti I update more about tiny tot. Macam banyak nak update tapi biasala blank bile bukak entry post. 

Gollywolly got spayed and other things (pemalas gile punye tajuk)

Gollywolly is now around 7 months and as the vet reminded us when we went to her last vaccination time puasa dulu, to bring her around to be spayed. 

Aku lemah sikit nak bawak sebab nak kena kurung die ni and perhati sikit, tapi last week pikir2 alang2 I got a week holiday, I might as well got it done. 

Walaupon kepala berkon, tapi tetap nakal.

di depan ade wolly, di dalam buai ade Ajis

Kemudian gigih aku keliling area Keramat, Wangsa Maju and Bukit Antarabangsa cari kon yang comel sikit. My maid pegi hilangkan the existing kon yang Kurap dulu pakai ( hanginnnn ). Last2 jumpa at Pet Save at Jusco AU2 tu. 

So pakaikan yang ni. I like this kon because senang nak bukak and bersihkan kon tu. Macam first night tu, pagi besok tu bukak cage tengok Wolly muntah keliling cage, habis kon die kotor. Kesian die. Tak ke senang aku nak cabut dan bersihkan and it is just velcro. 

Kenkadang I will clean the kon and give Wolly sometimes to jilat2 bulu die. Die kan pembersih amat, so memang die rimas la tak dapat jilat bulu. Tapi kena perhati la sebab tak sampai 5 mins die sibuk nak membuka bandage perut die nak jilat situ pulak. 

Masa nak pickup si Wolly alang-alang I brought along the tubby Bobby sebab perasan bulu die macam capuk2 bald sana sini. Banyak penyakit kan Bobby ni. 

Dekat vet tengok tadek ape pon tapi ade kesan cakar kucing kat bald spot die, tak tahu la sape mencakarnye. Kat tempat kena cakar kucing tu ade pulak bacteria infection sebab tu bulu tak tumbuh. Bagila a course of antibiotic and antiseptic shampoo. 

Aku gigih la bz bz tak cukup makan ni gi mandikan Bobby, and alang2 tu mandikan sekali Kurap. Sebab kucing2 I ni penakut tahap gile babas pada hair dryer, lepas dikeringkan dengan towel, I letak the cats outside tengah2 panas tu dalam 15 - 30 mins. Ingatkan cukup la tu, tapi Bobby ni kan saje cari penyakit,  sekarang die selsema pulakkk. Bersin-bersin, bunyi macam orang semput. Hish la kan. Ni aku bagi jugak antibiotic tu, which is aku rase sama je kalau aku pergi vet die akan bagi antibiotic jugak bile kucing aku ni selsema. Tengok end of this week, dah selesai ke tak selsema die. 

Bobby2. Kurang immunity badan sungguh. Tapi badan boleh tahan. Bile bawak carrier kiri Bobby, kanan Gollywolly... terasa berat dan sakit sungguh tangan kiri aku bawak Bobby ni. Rupanye berat 4.4 kg kau. Nampak je kecik. Tapi tengok je la gamba kat atas kebuncitan die tu kan. Gollywolly ni nampak je besa, tapi bole je nak lambung2 guna 1 tangan. Fluffy je lebih,

So semua jadikla macam kakak Kurap yang montel dan sihat sentiasa. Kecuali penyakit pelik2 seperti telinga bernanah sebab gusti dengan kucing liar, jarang nak tengok Kurap ni demam or selsema. Aminnn. Jangan pulak aku puji2 ni die selsema pulak. 

Kakak Gollywolly, Kakak Kurap semua sedia menjadi tilam pelindung di bawah buai Ajis. 

Kucing-kucing aku ni dari zaman anak sedara aku lagi , I perasan yang they like to tidur bawah buai. Lagi2 buai tu duduk tepi sliding door , memang suke betul la lepak situ. Lepak je aku ok lagi. Ni main kejar2 area situ la. Ok. Fine. Boleh lagi. Gollywolly pulak kalau boring pegi main buai tu. Die letak paw die kat jaring2 situ stopkan buai tu. Angin aku.  

Anak aku ni pulak kalau berbuai tak boleh stop. Nanti dengar meronta-ronta dalam tu disusuli bunyi Ekkk Ekkkk, kemudian vokal terus nyaring. Dahlah nak tidurkan baby Ajis ni lama amat. Fuhh, fuhh nak aje aku rotan kakak2 nakal ni. Bobby je baik suke tidur belakang dapur. Kesian, macam kucing terbuang pon ye gak. Kucing2 betina ni (esp ko tengok Kurap nak berbantal bagai tu) mesti nak tidur tempat2 empuk, Bobby gi tidur atas tiles je kat dapur. 

Gollywolly ni memang mengugat kesabaran, tak cerita lagi.. aku kalau pam susu kat rumah, tetiba die ade kat tepi nak mintak diusap, nak hidu2 badan aku. Pelik dengar bunyi pump kut. Tapi time pump jeee die nak bermanja, kalau time lain tadek pulak nak dekat. Tension gueehhh. 

Anyway... itu sahaja update kucing. Nanti aku update pasal Ajis pulak. Cewah. Macam orang tertunggu sangat. 

Ciao bella. 

Hampir sama tidak serupa sama sekali

Aku suke. The top one is the one I bought at Forever 21 ( rase remaja sangat ) before I bersalin. Bawah tu baru je beli dari one blogshop RM 45 aje few days back. Mulberry inspired alexa bag. Beg forever 21 tu I bought sebab macam ala2 Mulberry la.

So I have 2 macam sama sebab I love that style and nak bagi kat orang satu tapi HOIII, I love all my bags, the one yang I bought rm 10 mahu pon Rm1k. Forever 21 punye bag in the pic is 69rm aje. Ehem, setakat ni tadek lagi beg cecah ribu riban. Paling mahal pon I bought RM 300++. Tapi I am trying to extort Prada/MiuMiu untuk my birthday. Muahahahaha (gelak syaitan). I figured my husband totally owe me one.

Mulberry punye tahun ni macam tak cun, tahun lepas punye jugak yg lawa esp the style macam I bought ni. So I am not buying label because of just label dapat 'inspired' pon jadikla ye. Angan2 Prada pon macam ye tak ye je, sebab once bile masuk kedai rase macam nak jerut diri je bile pikir how much money one spend on a branded bag, that in that amount you boleh beli berpuluh bag pelbagai saiz dan warna dari Zara, MNG dan kedai cokia kat Sg Wang.

I wish he was with me longer

Puteh the sweetest cat alive. It had been a year since he left us. With Fasha, I miss her every day, with Puteh, there is a sadness that I didn't have him with me for long before he left. 

He was a gentle soul. You can look it in his eyes. Kadang-kadang if I saw a cat like Fasha, I want that cat, but if I saw a cat like Puteh I want it more. However I am doubtful if I can find a cat like Puteh. Puteh is a one in a million cat. He loves to be around you. Love cuddles. Without realizing, he will plop beside you teman tengok tv. 

I miss you Puteh. I am glad he came into my life. I did saved his life ( ok the vet did, but I bawak and bear the cost). He had severe UTI and was convulsing and unconcious sampainye, and I managed to save him in the nick of time. But it turned out I only prolong his life for a few months because another illness claim him. Also Puteh sampai sekarang hold the record for the most I paid in vet bills in one visit. (Close to 1k ok)

I always consoled myself when I thought of him that ... I did gave him a better life in the last few months. I did saved him for a little longer for him to enjoy a family and a home. 

Sampai ke hari terakhir die mati pon, Kurap tak suke die. Kesian Puteh. However I know he knows I loved him. 

Again he was the sweetest cat. There is no other cat like him, but I sure would like to continue to find. 

Tak berapa nak Puteh,

RIP Puteh.

Quick Entry

Book

I haven't done a book review in a while right? That is because I am stuck reading The Bourne Supremacy by Robert Ludlum. The annoying thing about my reading habit is that, USUALLY I will try to persist and finish reading one book first no matter how boring it is before proceeding to the next. The problem with the book is because I don't like the characters.  In the movie the wife was suppose to die kan. I never watch the Bourne movie so I don't know, all I know is that the wife died during the 2nd movie.

So I am now reading the 2nd book and the wife refused to die and damn that wife is irritating as hell, and I cheated and looked at the end of the 2nd book and found out that the wife is still alive (!!!!) and I am like GAH WHY YOU NO DIE BITCH! That bitch basically makes my reading the Bourne series so unpleasant. The character is so ludicrous and you just know it is the type of woman that can only be conjured up by a man. Gah! (but I will reserved more ranting on my reviews nanti).

Of Various Stuffs 

Been reading a lot of mommy blogs sebab macam best la nak tahu perkembangan baby masing-masing and to compare if our experiences are the same. A lot of them do product reviews, and sebab aku malas ni are some of the stuffs I bought during my pregnancy and now.

For stretch marks - I bought Burt Bees Belly Balm. Best woo. I can't stand the smell of food during my pregnancy and do not fancy smelling like cocoa butter (Palmer), used Bio Oil and it was good, though I don't fancy the ingredients ( too much chemical stuffs), L'Occitane one I tested briefly on my hand was too oily and the almond smell (can almond have a smell?) made me scrub my hands raw afterwards so I won't gag. The Burt Bees one is not scented, it feels really good bile sapu it on, and it stays on your skin but does not leave your skin feeling oily. From what I can see I don't have stretch mark well except for tepi area sebab I keep on forgetting to sapu that area. Haha. So, it works, and untuk for it to work, you have to sapu it very early on during your pregnancy ok.

Baby eczema - Not sure if it is really eczema, tapi my little boy skin tepi2 mata die feels rough and looks all red and kinda splotchy (if that even a word?). So I bought Pot of Gold Skin Balm, and try to sapu it on his skin, and to my joy it works! No more redness and his skin is less coarse now. Kalau tak work I am planning to just use olive oil je, so yeay!

Baru beli bengkung kutt, tapi aku malas pakai, bile pagi I am in a rush! So memang tadek masa nak pakai, dengan itu bile nak pakainye la wehh.

Being a klutz

Aku yet again, terjatuh di Midvalley di tengah orang ramai. Member aku cakap, tataw la kenapa dengan aku ni.

Before this my wrist was kinda hurting bile jatuh terduduk di tengah2 Robinson, I broke my fall with my right hand that have the slightly painful wrist. Now lagilah sakit. Bile menaip tak sakit pulak, it hurts if I try to move around my wrist. Super annoying when driving.

Catz!

Going to bring Gollywolly to the vet soon untuk dikembirikan. Usually untuk kena spayed ni kan, kena shaved bulu perut kat bawah tu. Kurap and Fasha bukan main fluffy lagi bulu perut afterwards. Ni Gollywolly ni dah memang terlebih2 fluffy, tak terbayang aku extra fluffiness bawah tu nanti.

So alang2 bawak the black and white kitty tu untuk spay, I will bring along Bobby to make sure yang betul ke die ade fungus infection. Aku tataw la ape masalah Bobby ni, sentiasa je ade sakit. Ade kucing yang tak puas hati dengan die and hantar santau kut. Jumpa one vet dah, bagi macam ubat anti fungal, tapi macam extra merah and bertambah botak lagi tepi tengkuk and atas kepala die. Cuak kejab so I stop the ubat and will bring to another vet for 2nd opinion.

Nanti gueh update lagi okeh.

1 year

Today is exactly 1 year since this lovely fluffy tabby cat had left us. 

Today also would be exactly 4 years she would be with us, if she is alive. 

She came to our life on October 12th. She left us October 12th. 

Yesterday I was a little melancholy and hugged Kurap and asked if she missed Fasha as well. Kurap mewed back. I think she missed me more. Heh. 

Fasha was my first real cat. Actually it was our cat, my husband and I. It will become my or his cat if she had done something bad, which if you had followed my blog from way back was frequent. Aku masih tak habis lagi letak all those posts related to Fasha under 1 tag, but it was too painful to go through. 

If Fasha was found by me peeing on something I will bebel to my husband " Kucing YOU tuuu, pegi kencing lagi tepi dinding. " Vice versa if he found something. He mentioned once that bile Fasha buat jahat je, it his cat, bile nak manja-manja jadi my cat. 

Fasha taught us a lot. How to really care for a cat. I think I was neglectful in looking out for signs that she was sick, which is how she can't be saved because it was too late when I realized how gravely ill she was. From then on, at the first sign of illness my cats shown, I am super aware. Apart from that, she taught us patience. She was a handful. Many times people around me urged to throw her out sebab die suke kencing merata without any apparent reason. Tapi aku tetap sayang. 

She don't show affection much, but if she's tired and when she was sick she will sought me out at night. 

I miss Fasha every day. Even after a year, my family all remember her antics and speaks about her with affection even though they themselves yang pening dengan perangai Fasha dulu. She was an unforgettable cat. 

Sometimes I dreamt of her, running joyfully into my arm back. Though thinking back on that dream I have to laugh because Fasha always run FROM me rathen than TO me. Bile memalam dulu-dulu selalu kena cari die balik sebab die keluar and whenever I carry her home, she always make that grunting sound cats made when dissatisfied, but she still let me carry her home. She was my grumpy cat. 

I am trying to think of incident that I haven't cerita in this blog, but can't remember any. :( My memories maybe diminishing, however my affection to her have not lessen even in her death.

Love you Fasha. Hope to see you again in Jannah, if God's willing. 

p/s: I will make a separate post for Puteh next week. 

First day back

Semalam tadek keje tak sibuk nak blogging. Hari ni ade keje sibuk nak blogging. Apakah penyakit ini..

Yesterday was my first day back to the office, after 2 months ++ of maternity leave and annual leave. Gile liat jangan cakap. Liat-liat pon, sesudah subuh aku dah bangun which is an unheard of things before I have a child. 

Tak kira la before this ko tidur ganas ke, tidur tak kira siang or malam, but once I have little one tu, I can sleep with him next to my chest really close and not move an inch the whole night walhal dulu aku lah champion tidur ganas. Dulu alarm rumah berbunyi macam nak pecah gegendang telinga, I am the only one in the house will not wake up. Ni anak aku dah ekkk ekkk aku dah bangun. Aku pon amazed la. 

Anyway, memula I thought to let the maid mandikan Ajis boy in the mornng. Tapi new maid tu macam kasar sikit handle Ajis bile mandi. Bukan kasar as hurtful, but not gentle, more in a hurry. Aku cakap "lembuttt... lembut-lembut sahaja" .. maid tu sengih je sambil terbalik-balikkn anak aku untuk bersihkan die at the same time anak aku is howling at the top of his lung. (Maid aku tu ada sedikit bengap. Harsh! But true!). Kesian woo. Taknak la baby Ajis terkejut terus dari his mother arm yang aku perlahan-lahan pusing-pusingkan die sambil nyanyi so he won't be startled dari bibik yang dah biasa dgn cara die yang laju terus dimandikan dek bibik hari-hari. At the very least , once a day aku akan mandikan die bile pagi, and only petang je maid mandikan my boy. And bile weekend aku take over. 

I left him around 20 oz of milk, and he drank 16 oz. So in the mean time, harap-harap cukup. In 2 weeks time pon aku akan cuti 1 week, so that time aku akan buat stok jugak. Aminnn.. janganlah rumah aku blackout (kalau ye pon sekejab ajee). 

Anyway the first day for the baby went OK. I sent him, the maid and his buai (dan lain2 brg yg necessary) to my sister house first so my sister maid boleh help out a bit.  I got home bile maghrib and my boy still not asleep. Sampai rumah, maghrib and all...then nak tidurkan die balik, it took me an hour to nurse him. He wouldn't let go. Kesian die but mommy is all tired out! 

As for pumping at the workplace, I was a bit worried because the office don't have that facility. Nasib baik ade new fridge near my cubicle, so that it is easier for me to store the stock. Bile pagi I went to surau (which is empty) for the first pump session. Next is a bit headachey, sebab I dont want to use the surau time zuhur / asar, because the surau is really small and usually it is packed. So I asked around the options are disabled toilet in the office atau toilet at gardens. Ugh, I really do not want that. I went to the Gardens and found their baby changing room, there are 3 rooms. Each have a sink, changing table, jamban and a seat. So that's where I do it. I don't have to be near the jamban and the changing table is the perfect place to lay out all my stuffs while pumping and I can do it while seating (and not sitting on a toilet!). 

So those people yang office die provide those facility, good on ya! 

Today I am really hoping to be home before 7, tapi berangan la dengan traffic. Haha (sobs!)

Ehh.. nak sambung buat keje la.

2 months sudah

On one hand I cant believe how fast time flies ( back to work soon! Gah! ), on the other... it seems like I had tiny kenit forever. Sebab the only free time is very rarely had, rasenye easier to type in short form. My boy will wake up anytime soon, lepas tu memang tadek la nak blogging.

So what I seen of tiny kenit...

- aku rase die jarang senyum laaa. But the first time he really smiled AT me was last week. That was once and setakat ni tak lagi. Kalo senyum pon senyum pon senyum kat dinding je.

- gelak pon once only setakat ni at something I sing about.

- he still sleep berbuai. Boleh nak tdo without buai but most of the time I have to be beside him. Aku bangun die bangun. He is my shadow la, replacing Kurap. Kesian Kurap, kenot manja macam dulu.

- he sleeps longer now during the night. Thank God. Hope it gets better so mommy can get some rest.

- lepas cukur 31 Aug lepas, rambut die tumbuh dgn lebatnye. Though mafia style cukur bantal die still ade. Kelaka betul la cukur bantal die



- he currently have the sniffles. It is ongoing now amongst all his cousins and die la yg paling last kena. Kesian dak kenit. Brought him to a paeds and it seems he is ok. The doc just gave me a nasal spray if his nose is really congested.

- timbang tadi is now around 5.5 kg. Pantas siot membesar. Bermuscle la lengan aku nanti

- he no longer howls when dimandikan. But that because if I did it. Gently. He dont like to be handle roughly. He still menangis macam kena pukul if I start to pakaikan die baju. Suke bogel2. Penat aku lectured to him that civilized people wear clothes but he still howls in disagreement.

- sedih la nanti die kena jaga dengan bibik and not fully by me anymore. I like it that only I know everything there is to know about him. After this, I have to relinquish control so to speak. Other people hand will help to raise my child. I dont like that notion. Ye. Aku memang posessive..

Ok. Baby ajis still tido. Fuhhh.. memintak la his sniffles is gone, soon and he no longer coughs. Fuhh fuhh. Mintak2 also I also baik from my own sniffles.

Meanie

Went to a secondhand furniture at JB semalam with the whole family. My momla tu. She just gave away a humongous intricate kayu jati punye almari kaca so rumah macam lapang, aka alasan cari furniture baru. Hikhik. Yg this shop sells furniture secondhand from hotel. My mom berkenan this one sofa bed and she bought it for RM300. Nanti tuka fabric je which I think will cost more than the sofa itself.

Anyway, while there kat luar kedai tu I noticed ade 2 cats. One is a tabby stripe but mcm warna calico another is a black and white kitty who is more white than black. The tabby calico tu nampak like usual stray cat kurus a bit, but other than that seems healthy. The white & black one tu is the most pathetic of all, kurus sesangat. Before I noticed the cats, my sister pointed out a family that have 2 boys and one of the boy was seen kicking the cat. Then anak sedara yang 3 year old tu datang kat I bercerita the same thing. My sister said my nephew saw the boy kicking the cat, lari to the boy and cried out "Janganlahhh". am proud of my nephew who have more humanity in him than the whole family combined.

I had seen the family earlier, the husband and wife are wearing in what I call a douche attire. Polo shirts and sunglasses. And I guess sometimes, kids don't know any better, but if this things happened I will blame the parents who dont set a good example, who dont correct a wrong. And for Muslim especially kena ingat, di akhirat nanti all the binatang whom we mistreated will arise and given voice to say what you had done to them. I guess a reminder to me also to be more sabar with my cats. And I hope I can teach my kids to be compassionate to animals.


Sedih taw hati tengok strays. Especially the blacn and white cat I mentioned earlier. Didnt know which one yang tendang but feeling like the kitteh deserves something better than a kicking that morning, nampak ade kedai runcit depan sikit bought whiskas sekotak and gave them the kibbles, the cat especially yang skinny tu rupa macam tak percaya je they got food. The black and white cat tu makan perlahan sambil pandang kiri kanan, even masa I naik kereta untuk balik they're still eating. Dalam hati I pon berharap la some people there will have a good heart and feed them. Takkan la takde hati and perasaan kut tengok kucing jalan terketar-ketar depan mata and you buat dek je. I guess at the very least if they're made of stone, jangan la pulak tendang the cats. And parents kena ajar their kids to be a good human being to animals, tak kisah la if you like them or not.

Barely there

Minggu lepas my youngest brother sudah pon selamat menjadi suami orang. It felt so weird seeing my youngest brother who I still view as a kid now have a wife tobe responsible to and who knows maybe even a father next year.

So fast time flies.

Dengan itu the whole family went to Melaka ( wifenye org Melaka) for the majlis. Aku memula pening je nak bring kenit to the wedding. But it went ok.

Masa akad nikah tu is a bit tricky sebab time marhaban bising2, bergendang bagai boleh pulak kenit tdo dengan lenanye.




Tapi boleh pulak time akad tu he chose that time to wake up. Cepat2 la suakan susu before he start howling at the top of his lungs. Have to BF
him tengah2 itu with all the well meaning advice from makcik2 all around commenting why my baby is crying adakah sedikit stressful untuk ibunye. Anak nye bukan peduli asalkan got his milk.

But kenit dont make a scene, thank goodness, I bring my Chomel NC everywhere pon ( thanks Dila for the gift) so not much of a biggie to give kenit what he wants.

So my brother 5 kali kena ulang akad ni tak boleh nak attribute to kenit. Hehe.



But during reception tu I came prepared with a bottle pon tak jalan sebab the new maid tak reti on kenit way. Still mak die jugak kena handle. Bole aku makan lama2 kenit melahau sakan dalam rumah pengantin because he refused his bottle. Haish. The new maid tu adalah ( interrupted kejab post ni sbb aku bebel2 aku geram sebab die tidurkan baby without giving him a bath first ) mencabar kesabaran aku. Susah betul bile die nak ikut cara die and basically ignore my instructions sebab die rase die lagi tahu. Tapiiiiii... ini bukan post komplen pasal the new maid.

anywayyyyy... majlis at melaka was meriah and because I am busy with the baby I feel like I missed out on a lot of things... such as eating kat main table!!!. haha. But it went on splendidly despite me missing out on scrumptious dishes. Though I did asked my sedara mara to pass me the kuih muih to me a bit, so tadekla missed out much




Hari Ahad tu pon marked the end of my pantang dan terus ajeee aku celebrate dengan minum coconut shake Klebang.

Right now am at JB. Bile dah kat JB ni perasaan malas nak naik kerja tu lagi lipat ganda. Nak aje berenti, hantar balik the maid and jaga kenit dan kekucing.

Oh since I am gone ni ape jadi dengan kekucing? I asked someone to come to my home and bagi the cats makan and clean the litterbox. Risau jugak la, but the person tu suke kucing so ok je. I cant trust myself giving this task to people who dont like cats. Tadi die baru call cakap the kittens are ok, tapi Kurap stay perched on top of the pintu ( ade ruang di situ yang Kurap and Fasha like to climb on and perched tengok luar) tanak turun unless to eat and poop. Kesian Kurap. I think she missed me.

Alone then not alone

Husband gone back on Sunday. Sedih sekejab for obvs reason. 

Hari ni plak the new maid sudah sampai. Sebab itu lah aku boleh berbelog. Haha.. kalau tidak tak senang  duduk. It feels awkward to have a new person the house. Dah biasa sensorang dengan kekucing, takleh berbogel-bogel laie y'all... 

But it is a huge relief to have someone to help me clean the house and with the baby.  I found that if I duduk jalan lebih sikit my stitches macam sakit. So tak best la kan. So rumah memang macam tongkang pecah. Maid baru ni sampai siap tanye "akak baru pindah ke" . Aku dah 2 tahun lebih kut duduk rumah ni woiii... nampak benar penyepahnye dan tak reti mengemas. Hahaha. 

Ni maid ni sampai-sampai tak menyempat duk mengemas. Husband cakap, hari ni ye la rajin. Cuba next week. Husband I negatip sungguhh.. I also pon takdela nak kasik die kerja keras hari2. As long as the house looks presentable and most important baby aku ade orang jaga. In the mean time, I will take care of the baby dulu la. Kasik die settle in dulu. 

Alamak... nampak Ajis bukak mata. (ohh.. My boy name is Aziz, but panggey Ajis macam orang tua. Rupa cam orang tua pon, sentiasa sangat dahi tu kerut2 macam bapaknye). Die tengah duk layan perasaan dalam buai. I letak die berbuai siang2 sebab baru la bole lama sikit. Tadek la lama benar . Jarang la nak lebih 3 jam. Bile dah terbangun sebab lapar tu, akan scream his lung out jugak. But tadekla I have to be at his side, duk tepuk2 die sentiasa bile die terkejut or terbangun kejab. 

Malam ni problem. Mungkin problem sebab berbuai ke... tapi malam I adamant to not let him in buai. So sacrifice la mama die punye beauty sleep. He sleep 3 hour at most. Then lepas tu wake up every 1 hour. Itu pon kenkadang, he woke up and will only sleep 4 hours later! Fuhhh.. I never realized how much kesabaran can I have, but I guess being a mother surprise you kan. So I usually get only 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep, with 1 hour here and there during the night and day sometimes. Aku amaze at myself on how I can function. 

I foresee lots of coffee in my working days. Apelah lagi maid tu duduk mengemas. Kurap memula pemalu, duduk tepi aku je . The kittens ni curious tengok ade orang baru dalam rumah. Ni baru Kurap nak jenjalan balik dalam rumah. 

Update semua senang

Am so freaking tired. Am also annoyed at those momsies ( and dadsies) yang macam bile aku cakap aku tired or baby is cranky is acting like "I told you.." God. I know! I just want to complain ok. 

Also terasa macam akan selsema dan semput which is not good. But it haven't gone full blown yet. So here's hoping with lots of hot drinks I gonna be ok. That usually works. And a long deep sleep. Which is impossible. Haha. 

So update: 

Baby:

Kenit is now 1 month old. Hurray!

He is well.. suke mengempeng ek orang panggil. He likes to fall asleep on the breast. And if he is cranky he wants to be rock to sleep. All the time. Because I want to hold on to my sanity, I am borrowing my sister buaian. Sibuk la orang2 ni duk cakap " Nanti anak kau nak tidur berbuai jeee... nak pegi mana2 pon susah.." Helloo.. aku tahu la. I am not that dumb. But it is either that, or not bathe, or eat or live decently. Lagi-lagi aku kat rumah ni sensorang soon, mahu meroyan if I don't have any help. 

Currently trying to stock up on BM. I am not going to say much about this, because I try not to. . Let just say progress had been slow, but there is progress. I am not gonna be anal about BF. I try to do the best as I can. Selagi mampu, I will BF my child. If supplement is needed later on when the supply can't cope, I am not gonna go mental about it. But I personally still think if I BF or not, it is a private thing between my husband, me and my child. But that is also the question people kept on asking. The line of questioning will usually goes from gender to how you deliver the baby to if you are BF. While I am not annoyed by the question, it does get... tiring kut. 

Also during 31st August, my mom held cukur jambut at the JB house. It is a small affair, marhaban sikit, cukur rambut sampai botak by an Ustaz and makan-makan. My mom cooks for all the guests, all by herself and aku rase guilty kenot tolong because baby was acting up during the day before. However, on that day itself, selepas aku simpan stock susu banyak2 for baby during the majlis, he was well behaved not a cry was heard during the whole time. And he was awake from start to finish ok. Bile guest terakhir datang tengah makan baru lah die cranky sebab penat. Good boy. 

Nampak sungguh lahh baik tika ini kan.

Cats!

Kami sudah reunion balik semalam. Kurap memula buat dek jek kat aku, but then she started to warm up to me again. But she is still sad that she can't come into the room. Setiap kali she hears the bedroom door open, berlari-lari die naik trying to get in. 

Penuh 1 badan cover printer

As for Bobby, he is all better. Before going back to JB, I noticed that Bobby was sick. Took him to the vet and found that he got a lung infection and was not eating. He stay at the vet for a while when we went to JB, about a week, but still not eating. Husband got back to KL and took him home and try to force feed him. 

It was a monumental task and husband was in a rage most of the time. Hehe. I understand though. It is really hardd to force feed a cat. So cuti raya tu we can't send Bobby to normal boarding, and we can't take care of him at JB. Hantar balik ke vet for treatment + boarding. So kiranye after about 2 weeks baru die start eating on his own. Fuh... takut aku kalau he still won't eat. 

Now he is eating as much as he can from all the other cats bowl, macam making up for lost time. Hoping he will gain his weight again, but he is eating and playing, so all is well, bak kate cite Hindustan. 

Bobby all better! Playing with husband. Walaupon husband emoism pon, Bobby is still his favorite. 

GollyWolly? 

Camtuh je la perangai nakalnye. Macam kitten on steroid. Selalu la nampak her flying here and there and everywhere and kacau kakak and abang die to distraction. 

Susah benar nak tangkap gambar critter sekor ni. 

During raya holiday tu hantar Kurap and Wolly boarding in 1 cage. So dalam 1 week plus to kena force live together, and bile balik major improvement. Sebelom ni Kurap selalu hissing and spitting bile Wolly is near, now Kurap boleh jilat2 die skali ok. Kurap jilat Bobby pon tak. Tadekla Kurap and Wolly BFFs, but Kurap can now get along with her reasonably well. Bile mood kurang elok je, Kurap will lash out. Contohnye bile Wolly menyibuk bile Kurap nak beramah mesra bersama tuannye. Haha. 

Ah well..  nak kejutkan si kenit tu untuk tukar pampers. 

Bulk reviews

The Magician's Apprentice by Trudi Canavan
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Summary from Goodreads: In the remote village of Mandryn, Tessia serves as assistant to her father, the village Healer. Her mother would rather she found a husband. But her life is about to take a very unexpected turn.

When the advances of a visiting Sachakan mage get violent, Tessia unconsciously taps unknown reserves of magic to defend herself. Lord Dakon, the local magician, takes Tessia under his wing as an apprentice.

The long hours of study and self-discipline also offer more opportunities than she had ever hoped for, and an exciting new world opens up to her. There are fine clothes and servants - and, to Tessia's delight - regular trips to the great city of Imardin.

But along with the excitement and privilege, Tessia is about to discover that her magical gifts bring with them a great deal of responsibility. For great danger looms on the horizon for Tessia and her world.

- Read the Black Magician trilogy before this and was entertained and like it well enough to warrant to read the other series. So far this is OK as it have all the elements of the Black Magician trilogy that I like. Simple, straight storyline, story of a girl finding her own path.

- I find it a bit repetitive with some of the storyline in the Black Magician trilogy. Not exactly the same, but I felt like I had been this road before.

- The characters are mostly straightforward.

- The ending feels a bit ambiguous, but we did know what is gonna happen afterwards as this book is more of a prequel.

- Also the ending feels a bit rushed and anti climactic. It feels flat after all those chasing. Ini je ???

- Overall, entertaining read for YA. Not groundbreaking but worth a read.


A Cloistered War: Behind the Convent Walls During the Japanese Occupation by Maisie Duncan
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Summary from Goodreads : A Cloistered War is a coming-of-age memoir set in Malaya before and after World War II. Maisie Duncan brings us back to the delightful times of curry tiffins, porcelain dolls, Cantonese amahs, and (not-so-delightful) castor oil Sundays. This happy state of affairs changes dramatically when the author's mother dies and the author remarries. Maisie and her siblings are sent away from the family home to CHIJ insitutions and Christian Brothers' schools, where they spend the next 14 years of their youth traversing Malaya as boarders in these cloistered worlds.

Bought this as I am always interested in books of first hand account of the WW2 war. Especially one in Malaya. Read it at one go masa kat hospital beranakkan si kecik ni lagi

- I don't feel drawn in to the writing. Was interested, but I feel no empathy or much else towards any of the people in the book.

- Ms Duncan writing and description is simple and to the point which I appreciated, but maybe this is also why I don't feel much when reading it.

- However the book portray what I feel as a realistic view of a people living in an occupied country. There is terror, hardship, but there is a glint of humor and jokes to be found here and there which just shows that no matter what, life goes on.

- Enjoyed the book very much and it was enlightening to know some of the things that happened.


The History of Love by Nicole Krauss
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Summary from Goodreads: Leo Gursky taps his radiator each evening to let his upstairs neighbor know he's still alive. But it wasn't always like this: in the Polish village of his youth, he fell in love and wrote a book. Sixty years later and half a world away, fourteen-year-old Alma, who was named after a character in that book, undertakes an adventure to find her namesake and save her family. With virtuosic skill and soaring imaginative power, Nicole Krauss gradually draws these stories together toward a climax of extraordinary depth and beauty

- Haunting story of lost love in various form, however... I don't understand it and it confused me.

- Writing is undeniably beautiful, but I am weary of the feeling of hopelessness in it and the many description of love. Not really my thing kut.

- Also what I mean by not understanding it, there are a lot of characters in the books which you find confusing and towards the end, I appreciated how they interconnect with each other, but some of them leave me questioning their motives and even existence!

- A beautiful book, but I don't appreciate it.


A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Summary taken from Goodreads.. Meet Martin, JJ, Jess, and Maureen. Four people who come together on New Year's Eve: a former TV talk show host, a musician, a teenage girl, and a mother. Three are British, one is American. They encounter one another on the roof of Topper's House, a London destination famous as the last stop for those ready to end their lives.

In four distinct and riveting first-person voices, Nick Hornby tells a story of four individuals confronting the limits of choice, circumstance, and their own mortality. This is a tale of connections made and missed, punishing regrets, and the grace of second chances.

Intense, hilarious, provocative, and moving, A Long Way Down is a novel about suicide that is, surprisingly, full of life.

- I always like Nick Hornby writing. There is something honest in how he portray his characters, their voice and thoughts. This is one of the book that I felt is honest on how life is and maybe how depression works. Though for the life of me, I can't say I know what it is like to be depressed. Really depressed.

- Nick Hornby also don't dabble in happy ending. Everything towards the end is not tied in a neat happy package, or even neat tragic package. It is more like ambiguous, ambiguous in the way of you know somehow the characters is gonna be ok, for now.

- I love how different each character are. The only one that I felt frustrated with is Jess. Maybe because I don't get her.

- This is a great book actually. Refreshing. Though not to be read while depressed.




The Hunger Games Trilogy Boxset by Suzanne Collins
My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Summary: I think you know kut. Katniss Everdeen, takes the place of her sister as a tribute to participate in The Hunger Games, the annual games set in an apocalypyse future where children are chosen from each district to kill each other for amusement.

I watched the movie and like it very much. Read the book and love it. A lot of the things in the movie was not clear or immediately clear to me, on why does the children's are chosen as this sick type of entertainment, why the segregation, the motives of various characters.  Reading the book, now I kinda get it.

Sebab malas nak repeat myself, I am gonna reviewed all 3 books sekaligus.

The first book, Hunger Games was awesome. It was fast paced, the action was nice, the description of the a future apocalypse North America was perfect. I can understand how it can be so.

A lot of the characters I am in love with, we are only familiar with Katniss and Peeta in the first book. But the next books, a lot of the characters are brought forward, and a lot of them are developed nicely. I have no complain in the character development. I love Katniss. I like how Katniss actually represent a true person. That she is not noble, she is a survivor, a fighter and to be that successfully she is selfish, prideful, resourceful. I think this is Suzanne Collins biggest strength in this book... on how she writes her character. It is like she understood them, even the nemesis. I love how the character develop, I got annoyed with Katniss hysterics towards the end, but I understood it.

Book first was full with action and laced with a little humour. Especially from Peeta ( whom I love, love, love ). The second book seems fraught with high nervous energy and a feeling of something is gonna happened. The third book is the weakest I guess. Maybe because Katniss and Peeta is weakest here. The writing and description feels clunky. Felt a bit improbable too, but it is a YA so I am going with the flow. I also like the ending, because this is a dark story no matter how Team Peeta I am.. so to end it with that note, is apt.

Why I didn't give it 5 star is because, while I think this is one of the books that I will reread over and over again, the writing at time is too simplistic and sometimes I feel like it is not just there. It is not subpar nor horrible, but I feel like it could be improved. But it does not deter from my enjoyment of this marvelous book. Just a small complain really.

Adapting

I guess unless I am back at the office, updates are gonna be a tad bit sporadic. Saje je kan nak makan gaji buta. 

Anyway, I am still adapting to motherhood. It seems like I am definitely not in the category who find motherhood as easy breezy. It does not help that I am lacking in patience. Husband remarked g resentfully ( cuba die yang kena bangun every 2 hours) I am more patient dealing with the bulus. Well, while the bulus does wake me up at 3 or 4 am in the morning, if they annoyed me I can just chuck them out of the room. I can't chuck this tiny kenit out even though I am severely tempted too kan... 

Kalau nak dikirakan, it is not that bad. He is not that fussy. His sleep pattern is still not established, so I can't say exactly at what time he will wake up, but he usually will wake up after 2 hour of sleep then cried his lung out for milk. During those first 2 weeks I was really, really pissed. Yes. I should say not that mother are entitled to be pissed, but we are allowed to because we are human but only not to succumb to our anger ( though sometimes I did, but I try to check myself ). I am not usually for tears, but being usually tear free it seems makes me into a very angry person. So maybe by being a crying mess, a lot of mother adapt well while I just simmers. I just don't have that mother instinct. 

Tapi... By this third week, I am kinda fine with it. Not totally fine, but just resigned when he cried in the middle of the night after 2 or 1 hour sleep. It gets annoying when after 3 hours of being awake in the middle of the night, he still wouldn't sleep, but I think I know how to put him to sleep now without tearing my or his hair out. I can now function well with a few hour sleep , and I rarely sleep during the day anyway. There is so many things to do! And the little one also keep waking up during the day too. After an hour or two. Paling lama die akan tidur lepas mandi pagi. Which is masa tu la nak makan, mandi, basuh baju baby, kemas whatever it is, pumping. 

Teruk kan. But I am trying to be honest here. I don't find motherhood magical. I find it hard work. It does have its sweet moment, but a lot of the time, it is kinda overwhelming, the things we needed to do for the little one, the responsibility and the upcoming responsibility. Maybe I am not prepared? 

I never was prepared, I try to take things one day at a time for a lot of things so maybe this don't really mesh well with my, one day at time philosophy for everything. 

This is not a crying out post asking you to say I am not a bad mother. I have yet to be a good mother, but I am trying. A working progress. In the mean time, we ( the little one and I ) have to bear with each other. I am figuring things out here. I think once I am in KL, which would be late next week kut, I have to create some sort of a schedule for both of us so we can adapt once I am working. Lagi2, husband pon nanti tadek, my mom pon cannot help so lagi la chaotic. 

We are looking for a maid, and the agency did find us one, but the maid they want to give us is a nubile  25 year old girl who looks stunning and have worked in Hong Kong with a family before. While I am not insecure USUALLY, tapi aku taknak la ade maid who will stay in the house 24/7 who looks like she could be an actress then bile husband aku balik bercuti he will be mostly alone with the maid. Aku tidak percaya ok. Walaupon husband never menunjukkan tanda2 lelaki gatal, tapi tak payah la nak tempt fate dengan meletakkan temptation depan mata dan hidup bersama. When I state the reason why I reject this candidate to husband, boleh pulakk la die senyap sengih2.. tanpa sebarang denial "ehhh... I tak rase die lawa." or "I wouldn't do that to you..," Die senyap je gelak2. Lelaki! Kaannnnn.... tak percaya aku. So sementara ni... masih menunggu. Kalau tak dapat, kena la cari orang / tempat nak dijaga si kenit ni. Kesian die. 

While husband is around, sekarang ni I let my husband bathed and change kenit diapers. Sebab nanti die takde berbulan-bulan aku kena handle sensorang, so sementara die ade die buat semua. Hehehe. Which account for my hopelessness bile aku kena tuka diapers die, sebab bile aku mengantuk, mesti aku tuka diaper Kenit tu tah hape2, which resulted Kenit diaper almost falling off. Seeee... no mother instinct. Husband got better mother instinct. 

Update baby. Well he is doing what most 3 weeks are doing. I have started to bottle feed EBM for him, so far no confusion. So he's doing ok. He's a bit of a fussy baby sometimes, can wail his lung out, very impatient, and likes to be rock to sleep which takes 30 mins in the middle of the night -_- However apart from that, he is generally very lovable. 

Well.. this luahan perasaan is long enough. Nak cerita pasal kucing besok2 la. Kalau ade masa.

All those that lead up to the little one - II

LONG ENTRY! ( Habiskan terus la at one go )

Ok. Mari sambung... si kecik ni ekk ekk skit sambil tido, maknanye adalah half an hour lagi. LOL. 

Back to 2nd of Augsut. 

Bile dah konfirm kena admitted, baru la call boss cakap I maw deliver so maternity leave start today. Tension. Kalau tahu tak kerja dari pagi. Aku dah yakin dan konfiden, yang doctor will just wave us home, sekali kena admitted. 

So we got into our room and I asked my husband to leave and do whatever he needed to do at home and come back again at night. So gua rilek-rilek, at 6 pm my gynae came to check on me, and I asked if I really needed to be induced. She mentioned that my labour is actually starting and it is best to deliver this baby early.  Gua berserah je la pastuh. And instead of 11 pm, she decided to start giving me the tablet to induce at 6pm because she thinks I might have a long way to go. Greaattt. 

I already read up on what to expect when inducing (actually I missed out on people saying induce labour is way more painful than natural one. Which I think was better that I missed reading / blanking that out sebab mesti aku lagi trauma ) so was cringing when she inserted the tablet inside me, via vagina. I can only imagine any guys who is reading this is cringing too. Perempuan aku tahu rilek sudah. It took 2 tries ok. Aku rase nak berair mata aku. 

Then the waiting game begins~! Waiting for the labor to begin. 

Up to 11 pm - Nothing much happened. I ate. Read Cleo's ( I think I may have outgrown Cleo's. There used to be like at least a quarter of articles, now, if ade pon, is like a fluff piece. Pieces that is not well thought out nor researched after. At least I got a free shampoo out of my Cleo) . Husband came back with my clothes and toilettries dan baru la boleh aku mandi. 

3rd August 

12 am - Husband dah start kroih, kroih. I was too high strung to sleep. So I played Bejeweled on my phone. I noticed every 20 mins, there is a slight cramping. Mentioned it to the nurse the nurse says lama lagi. Sigh. 

2 am- Still 20 mins, but the cramping is getting painful. I slightly winced. I now can't sleep because it is uncomfortable. I try to doze but keep waking up everytime the contractions start. 

3 am - 15 mins tapi dah sakit amat. I consider throwing things to my snoring husband, tapi opt to call the nurse since they mentioned earlier they can give something for the pain.. I mentioned to the nurse, she gave me a CTG, and after determining that the contraction is strong, gave me an injection. I kinda doze on and off, still in pain. Tapi at least mengantuk. The nurse checked, aku baru 1.5 cm dillated ok !!! Rase dah nak nangis je bile dengar.

6 am - Aku rase aku dah 5 mins apart in pain. Tadek rase nak tidur dahh. Kept on heading to the toilet untuk berak and muntah. 

7 am - They asked me if I nak mandi , but I can barely stands up, because the contraction is coming every 5 mins in huge powerful waves. They want to wheel me in to labour room, but they checked first and I was 3cm dillated which is good enough to be wheeled in. Before that they inject ubat berak tu inside my rectum kut, which I think I went into the toilet too fast. Husband seriau at all these things that needs to be inserted in me. LOL. 

8 am - I asked for epidural and was informed of the risk and all, gua sign je. Gua dah tak tahan. I was holding my husband hand whimpering "sakittt" , husband was alarmed saying not 5 mins apart, but 3 mins apart ni setiap kali I doubled up in pain. 

So epidural was administered, and while the effect of epidural, I can feel even now, tapiii I don't regret it. I think I might have passed out if not. Gile tak kental aku ni. But as the doctor and nurses try to guide me, I became macam erratic, I remembered the nurse saying " She is in too much to pain to understand the instruction." So she gives me short word instructon. IV drip pon was administered now, so I will not dehydrate... and for the life of me now, I can't remember if tiub kencing tu was inserted at this time or after labour. I think it was at this time. 

9 am - Terus walla rase bagusssss. I can breathe easily and the nurse checked I am now 5.5 cm dillated, which gives me a light at the end of a tunnel. I mentioned, ahh so then by afternoon I will deliver, she just say perhaps. Hoh. 

9 am to 12pm - Can't remember much, strap to the CTG machine and baby heartbeat. I think during this time, husband balik rumah to freshen up and do stuffs seeing I am much more comfortable. I even slept for an hour or two. A much needed rest, from the no sleep I got last night. Also I think during this time kut my air ketuban dipecahkan. But because of the epidural, I feel nothing. Bile nurse tu seluk2 kat dalam keluarkan air yang tak keluar semua ponnn aku feel nothing. And yest the stick they used to pecahkan air ketuban tu is longgg, tapi gua dah tak heran dah time tu. 

12pm - 6 cm dillated. My gynae is worried as there is no progress, but as everything seems ok, baby is ok, she says we will wait more. 

1 pm - 3 pm - I think I got another shot of epidural ke ape tah. The epidural had wears off, I was in a lot of pain. Husband may have come back around this time. 

4.00 pm - Still 6 bloody cm dillated! It seems because my opening is not large enough, the cervix only open up to that size. They can feel the baby head, but still it refused to budge. (Aku rase aku agak famous 2 hari kat Ward tu as the woman who was stuck at 6 cm for hourssss ) . 

4.30pm - They decided that cesarean was the best option, as while baby rilek je dalam perut, heartbeat normal, boleh lagi die main2 tendang mummy die, my contractions was getting highly irregular. Kejab 5 mins, kejab 10 mins, kejab 2 3 mins. So the doctor is worried and emergency c-section is being placed at 5pm. Husband asked if that was ok with me, I said I don't care as long as the baby get out. Epidural dah administered tah berapa kali pon dah tak jalan kat aku dah ni. 

5pm - I asked if husband could be there, but they said since it is an emergency cesar, so no. I got into the operating theatre. I think they administered epi again, am not really sure, but the anaes, pinched me at my leg and waist and asked if I feel any pain, I said no. So the doctors proceed to cut me open, then I suddenly feel pain. I remembered the anaes mentioning if I feel any pain just tell them. It took several seconds of more pain as they sliced me open, for me to open my mouth, I was wondering if its normal to feel the slicing pain as they cut me open, and OF COURSE LA TAK NORMAL WEHHH. So I said 'SAKIT!' . The doctor stop confusingly, and the anaes increased the dosage. They resume slicing, I still feel the pain and mentioned it. They got more confused and it seems that my right side of the body, is feeling the pain (they are slicing at the right side now, while my left side don't feel it... HOI BOLEH MACAM TU KEEE. ). Not sure if I have a low tolerance of pain or badan dah immune dengan epi, but I can't go on the cesar awake, so I have to be administered the local anaes that put me out almost immediately

6 pm ++ - Woke up of people clearing up stuffs and moving me out. I remembered hazily that I give birth and I heard no cries and wondered groggily if my baby is alive. Husband immediately came by and show pic of baby. He said nurse cakap I tidor. Ehhhhh... bukan tidur ok. I felt a bit sad that I was not among the first to see him, but was much too groggy to care except to ask my husband to call my mother to say that everything went well. 

Sooo... around Maghrib tu, they wheeled in my baby... Alhamdulillah. 

And ever since then, aku tak boleh berenggang dari si kenit tu, as pengeluar susu utama. 

Beberapa minit sebelom melahau nak susu

All those that lead up to the little one - I

I want to write the title as My First Labour Experience, and was transported back to zaman sekolah rendah where the karangan will be My Holiday Experience or My First Day at School. Very the skema. 

Anyway... like many Malaysian mom bloggers ( I can't find any other nationalities who narrate the birth of their children with amazing details and sometimes even with pictures of them attached to the CTG. Thank God there is no vagina shot ... oh I if you head to stfuparents.tumblr.com you can find those ), I think I might as well, narrate how my little baby came to this world. 

I had my last appointment gynae on the 31st of July, and I was 38 weeks at the time. She did my first VE (I think it meant vaginal exam?). After the VE, she mentioned I  might have some problem in delivering naturally , seems like I have some narrow bones. Husband was laughing because I always mentioned that I have big butts so I never think that would be an issue. So orang dulu-dulu yang looks for wide hips and big buttocks = fertile and easy to deliver. You were wrongggg. 

She mentioned that I may need cesarean but we will try the natural way. Before this I was kinda cool and laidback about labour. I don't think much about it, I know I will take the drugs, but I figured I will bear the pain and do what every other woman would do. 

After hearing that, I was petrified. I was kinda like, heyyy.. I wouldn't mind staying pregnant forever. Because from what she described, trying out the natural way and if that fails, cut me open, I know I will be in a lot of pain. I also mentioned to husband on our way back that, MOST DEFINITELY I will take the drugs.  

That was on Tuesday. 

On Wednesday 1st of August. 

Noticed bloody show just before berbuka. Was perplexed, and told husband that I think after berbuka we need to go to the hospital. He asked me to get ready while he berbuka next door at my sister's house. I walked around a bit, eat a piece of kuih as the azan berkumandang, and though, ahh.. feck it. I will eat first and think about getting ready later. 

Later on the night, we decided to just go tomorrow since I don't feel any contractions or pain. 

On Thursday 2nd of August. 

The bloody show kinda continue. I was a bit confused because I thought it was just a one time thing, but decided to go to the hospital anyway during lunch hour. Sempat lagi aku WFH during the morning ok. No pain kan. 

So at the hospital, the midwives checked me and seems like I was 1cm dillated and I have very minor contractions. The midwife explained that it is common that after a first VE, some people will experience some bleeding. (If I knew that, I don't think so I had come to the hospital that early! ). So she was positive I will go home in an hour time. Hey, I thought I can go home. I was ready to resume work ok bile balik rumah. So aku tak inform pon boss I am actually at the hospital while duduk send email kerja. Gile dedicated. Tetiba pulak dedicated pasal kerja. Aku rase time tu aku in denial kut. 

Then after a while, the midwife came back and her face looks kinda shocked and confused and said that my gynae thinks it is better if I am admitted and be induced today since I am starting labour and my gynae was afraid that if my baby got bigger it will be a more difficult labor later on. Gah! I was like.. a bit dismayed.. this is sooooo off setting my holiday plan. Yeee... aku a bit upset pasal beranak early sebab aku dah plan cuti leklok. LOL. What can I say, I like to plan things ahead and will get ruffled / upset bila things don't go my way. 

So process mengadmittedkan aku dalam ward pon bermula and I was set to be induced at 11pm that night. 

Eh... sambung esok lak laa.. macam panjang. Dahlah asyik terberhenti je sebab si kecik nak nyusu. 

New arrival

I have delivered a healthy baby boy!

Currently am dealing with all the new stuffs associated with new mother, breastfeeding woes, sleepless night, murderous tendencies at 3am towards little one. So a bit late in updating.

In short, I gave birth to this little bundle of cuteness at 5.37pm on the 3rd of August 2012 on my 38th weeks. Unexpected ( somewhat ) delivery ni, as I have to be induced and later gave birth to him via c-section. EDD 14th Aug, and sepatutnye also I was suppose to be induce today instead last week, tapi mende nak jadi. As long as semua selamat.

Anyhow will update more later.

In cat news, Bobby kena stay at the vet due to lung infection. :( Sedihhh. Hope he gets better soon. Tak tahu how it happened, but it does and hope kucing lain tak kena.

Baju Raya Yang Hilang

Alkisahnye, I brought my kain and my sister's kain (she brought 3 while me only 1), to this tailor. Last year I sent to this same tailor. While I am not really satisfied with her work with my other plain baju kurung, but she did a wonderful job on my baju kurung Pahang so I opt to send to her again to just make a baju kurung Pahang. (Maklumlahh.. aku rase tu je aku muat kut). My sister tahun ni, excited pulak , while last year she brought only 1, she decided to bring 3 because she likes the tailor work. Another reason why I decided to use this tailor, sebab she is the wife of my husband's colleague. Kira nak tolong member la ni. 

So I sent it around May, and her worker said around June dah boleh dapat. But I said no rush la, as long as before Raya. So around mid July aku pergi la kedai tu. Dannnnnn

Boleh tak kedai tu dah bertukar tangan. The signboard is still there and all, but instead of the tailor, kedai tu instead a kedai that sells baju kurung siap. Angin nye lah aku. So basically, I had went to the kedai and the new owner gave me the tailor number and the new owner said, the tailor moved out early July. Menyesal kan tak pergi amik baju bulan June... kekonon nak bagi can, sekali terkena batang hidung sendiri. Bagus! 

Basically, I called every number I have of her, all of it either not in service or went straight to voicemail. I had send an email, which I doubt she checked. My husband called her husband which also went straight to voicemail and all attempt to find him is not successful. The husband is around at his workplace, but so far he manage to avoid my husband ignoring his messages, notes and emails. 

The thing is... bukannye the tailor or the husband owed us money. I didn't put down deposit pon as the pekerja cakap tak payah. All I want is my kain and more importantly, my sister punye kain back. Itu pon ko tak termampu nak buat ke. WTH is happening / or had happened to this couple? 

Husband went back to the shop, to see if the new owner have any other ways to contact the tailor, only the useless number tu je la. Horrible betul la this people. The new owner also mentioned that a lot of people came looking for them. I can only imagine la. 

Some people mentioned maybe sakit ke or mati ke. You know what... I don't really care. As a business owner, especially a Muslim one, you should know your responsibility. Tu semua hutang tu. If indeed die sakit teruk or mati ke.... then the next of kin have the responsibility to at least inform people, so we can make peace or demand payment/return of our good we had with the deceased. Kannn... mende tu simple je. Aku tahu mende tu pon dari aku 10 years old. Takkan engineer yang working at a renowned company, tak tahu basic hukum agama kuttt. No phone ade dalam buku jahit. At the very least, put up a notice at your previous kedai. Ni hilang tanpa dikesan, macam kena kejar along, which is my next suspicion. 

This is the second time this had happened to me. The first time happened to my baju nikah. OMG kan. Nasib baik I got the tailor to contact me. I had blogged about it, tapi malas cari. Basically the tailor sakit, and decided to tutup kedai without informing customers, membuatkan aku cuak bile aku nak pickup baju nikah aku dan kedai tutup with nothing inside and I phoned the kedai, it went unaswered. Also aku teringat, I asked the people around the kedai (kedai yang I antar baju nikah ituu), where and how I can contact the owner, the replies I get is .."Owner kedai tu memang sombong tak campor dengan kami2". Heloooo... tadek kaitan dengan soalan aku. Haih laa... ni aku cakap.... adat Melayu berniaga. 

However I manage to leave a note demanding them to contact me, and the husband of the tailor at last did contact me and pulangkan the baju. The baju, Alhamdulillah siap, tinggal fitting je I sent to another tailor. Not taking any more chances. 

So it is really annoying it happened again, and I seriously wonders my luck with tailors. Dengan itu, after this tadek kesian-kesian dah bab-bab business ni. I will only send it to the 2 chinese tailor I had known to be highly reliable. Walaupon they're expensive, at least they are good and RELIABLE. 

This type of people, macam tailor yang hilang ni, is the kind of people that makes Malay people looks bad. This type of people jugak yang selalu demand, "Melayu should tolong Melayu", but then when we give them chances they basically throw it away. 

I don't mind if they have difficulties ke, can't siapkan the baju ke. But have the courtesy to inform your customer. It is not just courtesy, it is your responsibility! Do you think sebab you are your own boss suke hati ko je ko nak buat perangai? 

Annoying sungguh. Pantang je berpuasa, or this post would probably be filled with the appropriate curses. I don't really care about my kain, but I feel guilty sebab my sister hantar 3. Banyak tuuu. We are not the type to buy expensive kain, but the kain we bought is usually bought elsewhere yang jauh. So kira bukan senang nak cari ganti laa! 

If you want to start a business, you should really ask yourself, are you ready to face the challenges and responsibility. You have a responsibility towards your customer, responsibility to be amanah and mengotakan janji-janji yang diberi. This is basic stuffs and things that any decent human should know, apatah lagi seorang yang mengaku Muslim kan. 

I highly doubt that I'll get the kain back, but it wouldn't hurt to hope kut. My previous experience at least I manage to get it back, amidst my panic. This time I macam laidback sikit, and kinda berserah. Lagi pon ibu mengandung tak larat nak emoism. Sume mellow je sekarang. 

Hellooo

Nampak benar mati idea nak letak tajuk ape. I should really post my book reviews, tapi nanti la. Weekend ke. 

Sekarang ni I can puasa lagi, I tuang on Selasa because by Monday malam tu I dah rase tak terlarat sangat, mengantuk, badan rase lemah. So I opted to opt out of puasa. Tapi setakat ni Selasa tu je la bertuang. Hari ni maseh gagah! (Insya Allah). 

While I can WFH, I went to office on Wednesday and Thursday untuk mintak official confirmation dari big boss to WFH until I deliver la. I found that it is not too tiring banding di rumah. Mungkin sebab if kat rumah gatal je nak buat macam-macam mende, so tu yang jadi penat terlampau. Kat office tak bergerak dari kerusi unless pegi solat. Aircond office pon membantu keadaan optimum untuk tenaga ibu mengandung.

Yang tak terlarat tu menghadapi jem tu. Jem nak masuk taman perumahan laa. Haih la. Too many people nowadays live in Ukay Perdana, nak buat guano kan. Ukay Perdana exit in MRR2 is now the new hellish Pandan exit. It does not help also with Duke just a short distance away, so kereta2 sume bertambah lagi. As for me, bile jem I think because I am kinda tension, so the baby in belly acting up a bit, galak-galak move around. 

So here I am again WFH. Husband suke sebab die risau je if tetiba my water broke at work ke :p , I pon suke because I don't have to face the hellish jem and ade extra time untuk tidur and kucing-kucing suke sebab die orang boleh jalan-jalan atas laptop. I just need to make sure to just stay put and not move around so much so I can work effectively at home, tanpa rase nak pengsan. 

The cats are now sleeping peacefully. Both Kurap and Bobby opting to sleep on the bed. I don't usually let Bobby sleep on the bed sebab malas nak encourage more cats filling up the space on the bed yang memang dah kecik tu. Tapi since die cedera lepas bergaduh dengan kucing I tak sampai hati nak halau.  

Memang best friend dedua ni.

You can see the luka there. Luka tu dah dried out and he had been given antibiotics to prevent infection macam yang terjadi at Kurap. So I think he's ok. Tinggal nak tunggu the luka heal and bulu tumbuh balik je. 

I let him out on Sunday kejab. Sekejab je, kasik die keluar a while. So he always like being outside sebab he likes to kunyah2 the rumput and just roam around the laman rumah. He never venture far and this time, I noticed he just stay at the grass area at my home. Then dengar bunyi kucing gaduh at front, I took a look and found an orange cat terrorizing Bobby. There were fur everywhere. Simbah air sikit, kucing jantan tu lari and sempat leave his mark kat tong sampah luar. Saje je kan tunjuk dominance. Bobby sibuk nak kejar, but I picked him up and lock him back in the house. Tengok-tengok later ade luka sebenarnye. 

But he does not showed that it is painful even when we washes the luka, so I guess the cat just took a chunk of his skin away. Stilllll... kesian Bobby and menyusahkan aku. Haha. Lepas ni macam kena supervised kucing-kucing ni pulak kat luar. 

Ok. Nak baring-baring kejab.