You know something, I always found myself being jealous. Jealous of people who love their work.
I wondered why I never feel this way. Is it because its really hard for me to make friends so making the workplace a more enjoyable place to be in or because I don't have the 'minat' in this industry. To tell you the truth, I don't even know what I want.
As you are reaching the big 3.0 your life should be more defined, you need to know what you want or have a good start on your long term career goal. When interviews came, the long term career goals questions is the one I loathe. I take my future week by week. 10 years down the line questions, make me feel like crying in a corner sucking my thumb.
It is not even a question of making money. I even envy the salesgirl at a stall who seems to have a good time doing whatever she does when thinking of going to work is making me hurl. I envy my husband who loves his job. I envy my friends who have a good paying job and making decent start in their career. I even envy those who complaint about their job but seems to be having fun all at the same time. I even envy the S.A.H.M where they do not have to face the questions and deadlines by bosses and clients.
I am tired of career change. Because changing your career does not mean you will be happy. Or does this in fact have nothing to do whatsoever with career or in fact in me needing to find satisfaction on what I do no matter what it is. But the ball would be coming back to, to find satisfaction, I need to be happy in what I do?
Geeez. Maybe I should had been a teacher after all, but the thought of starting over. Sigh. I don't have the heart to do it. And it would be even worse if in the long run, I would be truly unhappy and turned out to be like those bitter teachers that I always hated when I was in school.
Lets next week be a better week.