Sunday, January 22, 2006

Where tying the knots... is harder.

Now. Gals. Face it. The older we get, the lesser our circles of admirers are. The pool are getting smaller and smaller, and the guys pool are getting bigger. But hell.. if you want to widen the pool a bit.. be my guest. As to quote Whose Line Is It Anyway , "If you know what I mean".

But of course being usually a straight girl, I am of course are facing this reality too. However hold on your horses, if you wanna say that its about time that I realize that since ... hello... I am still in my early twenties. Still got time to shake and make my future before I bid goodbye to singlehood.

Most Asian parents felt it is necessary to put a little pressure on their daughters who had just finish studying on the question of marriages. If it do not come from the parents, you can be damn sure to hear it from the other members of the family. The not even close one where you only meet every Raya. Bleurgh.

We are young. We are free. So we treat all those to just talks and buzz. But, I also looked around me in seeing the more harsher reality. The old maids. The one that had been left on the shelf. The one who cringed when one of the makciks carelessly asked for the 10,000 times, years after years, when is your turn . The one where who hold their head seeing the other makciks glanced meaningfully and pityingly at them after hearing that thoughtless makcik ask the question. The one where the young one wondered whats their past love life might had been and the old fidgeted in trying to find the match. Any match.

The matchmaker. Our family were always laughing on their antics in trying find a match to whomever she might think are suitable. Like once, somehow one of this matchmaker are looking for a guy to match up with this colleague of her. She must had run out of decent guys. So the matchmaker got her son to ask his teacher if he was single. Oh.. what wouldnt I give to see the teacher face when a 10 year old ask ,
"Cikgu, mak saya suruh tanye kalau cikgu ni dah kahwin ke tak?"
( Translation: My mom wanted to know if you are married ? )

Erk. And after she knew that he is single, she gave him some home cooked foods and kuih for a little while. And she even wrote a letter to the teacher asking her son to give it to him ( I have no idea what is the content of the letter, probably explaining her intention kut) ! Oh.. and by the way it didn't work out. I believe the teacher was a little freaked out.

You gotta gave her credit for that. One of the most determined matchmaker I ever met.

But would the girls that didn't ask for this matchmaking scheme appreciate this? I myself wouldn't like to imagine myself in that position. And let's face it, the little pool that are available aint that attractive anyway. There must be a catch somewhere right. Did not all girls wanted a fairytale ending to their life? Nonetheless to quote another words
" You are not Puteri Gunung ..." . So what are the options available?

If you are a successful career woman.. yes you can carved your life. Be single. Peoples might talked. But they talked a little bit softer. Behind you.

If you are living with the family with a bleak future and no career . What can you possibly do ? Would you actually want to take the widower with the 10 kids? Or that guy who nobody really wants but somehow think you might be a good housekeeper for him?

Tough decision.

And what if.. somehow one of these heart get broken because the other party adamantly say no. Somehow a hope is raised and yet before it see sunshine it is crushed, again. To go and tell somebody that other party refused.

Guess.. the ayat " Ala.. kalau susah sangat, suruh mak je carikan ", is actually more susah (complicated) than you might think eh?


Unta@Jitra said...

Hehe marriage is a wonderful thing... welcome to my world of DEPENDS... (aku rase nk tulis blog plak pasal ni)...

Well in our world, it depends... since fate + luck + types of people + religion + love (yaa the 'abstract' thingie) + time + money + our/his/her mom = close to zillions of possibilities in determining the flow of our marriage (or soon to be)...

But fear not as we shud hold the most powerful words "Jodoh ditangan Tuhan" hehehehe... some take it as excuse, some take it as motivation, some take it for granted, n again it DEPENDS...

Peningnye comment aku ni hahaha... just wait for the time... it will come... n u have to decide...

Zer0k3wL said...

Aaahh..the question of family obligation..something that doesn't bite till you start working for a while or when ur life starts looking idle. It comes in small waves but capable of tsunami proportions once not dealt with.

Some say keep yourself busy n occupied with ur career building to avoid complications. Others say keep as far away from unecessary family gatherings but all methods prove as to delay eventualities..Getting hitched soon alrdy dils ? year resolutions dils..dun 4get :P

Dila said...

Unta: Sometimes u have to decide much more sooner.. huhu..

Zer0k3wl : Why do I work in KL and rarely went back to JB? Huhuhu..

Haha. That's last year resolution lor. Huhhu.. so can break it already. Wink. Wink. When the time comes...

SheeMa said...

Wow, you can write very well for this topic? Experience? I'm not surprise! hehehe..
By the way, i always think that why parents urge us with this marriage thingy is only because they want to let go of the responsibility they have to carry for the last 20 years.(Tak betul ke?) If the marriage is happily ever after, takpe, wut if not? I think they should really try to take things slowly and slower as we also need to think is it worth to leave the title ' Single'? Forever? Eventhough we have our own choice, but marriage is too holly.It's not something that can happen by force and we are definitely too smart to be involved in family-marriage-planned! Eww horrible. Unless it's Brad Pitt, then it's another story.

Dila said...

Eh bese.. dah jd old maid ni.. huhu.

Marriage.. its so complicated..

We hear marry the one you love .

But then all the women say marry the one who love you.

Its harder if the 2 above is not the same. Ouch!

But then.. Brad Pitt had been taken. Such a pity. Kenot compete with la Angelina. Jennifer Aniston probably can kut.. HUhuhu.

mangifera said...


sometimes, we just cannot say the arranged marriage is bad things. if bercinta bagai nak rak and kahwin and then you find out the GUY you married not loving you anymore or in simpler way to put it; he boring of you, then marriage can be one damn hell.

married the person who can understand you (at least a bit). love can be faded away and most of the time it's happen at the moment you never expect.

just act like a responsible adults and solved the problem as matured as possible, then i think marriage is not so difficult. marriage is a crap and hell when no one wants to talk about it and they find others to talk about it and when the secret of your marriage burst out, sayonara.

well, i really sound so optimistic in this case or a bit naive but as long as you willing to solved the problem, you can see the way out....

how can i be so optimistic on this matter? weird me...ehehe..

ska_ocean said...

babyh, i also am facing this blardy-things! right now! the problem is, i dun have anyone too... ok, its like i always say i have someone.. but the fact is - i dun.. i just want guys to get rid of me cus i'm kinda love money more than any guy (sure after my dad and bros..).. and i kinda think, guys really makes me messed up with my life-plan.. i've experienced it, u see.. tell you what, sometimes, loves really messed you.. i know, i know, if you gave it to e wrong guy la.. not all of them r the same...(like everyone use the same brand of brain to advise that kind of words to me~) but, my dad quite conservative, and i dun want any guy to messed me with my dad pulak.. D'Owh! i dun wanna give myself a damn-mistakes by taking my dad's proposal.. anyway, im just 24th.. not a big deal.. just ignore my conservative dad, and plan my own family when i am 35th.. hahahah~ dun c&p me..

nur_za said...

wauwhee.. luckily my mom never urges me about this matter. even aku bising2 mber2 sumer nak kawen, diye marah. she told me to further my study first.

when i told my opah, makciks, about my plan to further studies, which will take 2-5 years (depending on whether nak sambung phd terus or just master); their reaction?? mcm ko citer la dila.. "abeh bile ko nak kawen?" "ko tak kesian kat opah ke.. tak lama dah ni..". adeh... dunno what to say. i just told them, it's no big deal. i dun mind getting married in my 30's. Jodoh sumer di tgn Allah. Kalau diorg sibuk2 nak soh aku tunang gak thn ni pun, kalau dah tuhan kata takleh, takleh gak kan? dgn keadaan aku skang yg terumbang ambing, makin la lagi aku malas nak pk. so dila, jom buat kelab yg dipengerusikan oleh ann. (diye ade ofer aritu.. phm2 jela kelab ape)

Dila said...

lee: yeah, we're just 24. Eh Im 23. :p hahaha.. But way too early. thats it even boring

nur_za: yeah.. lets go and forget men. Hahaha.. bole je. Bile nk perjumpaan kelab2

Disqus for Dils Stop