Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Fellowship of the Girls

Girls are such catty creatures. You noticed how shows like The Bachelor and America's Next Top Model sells? Through cattiness. I meant yeah its all fine to watch somebody end up with that good for nothing playboy or if the gawky girl really can be a model. But come on. The competition is all the more interesting with a little spice around. The backstabbing unflowering. The 'laser' words thrown in here and there. The oh so mild sarcasm. That's why there are men. To keep us balance and from killing each other.

You can see some girls is such a demure little thing. But behind the walls she is the one yodelling away saying 1001 swear words. I swear this kinda girls exist.

Fine. Yodell in front of us and go all breathless and breathy in front of the guys. We talked. You can be damn sure we talk. However, if you hurt us as I'll say whats worst than a woman scorn? Another really pissed off woman scorn.

I understand girlfriends and all the rules. Dont ever ever take your friend's boyfriend away. Give support when she have a crush and put her down a little so to keep the hope bearable. Bitch about each other to each other. Never bitch to anyone else. Share all trinkets and stuffs and cosmetics but don't tiru your friend off.

Pretty simple aight? But some of the worst thing I have ever faced is the one being brought by a so called friend. Girlfriends nonetheless. One who I laugh and tell things too.

I remembered a girl (no longer my friend since that day) who shouted at me for being selfish and how I hold everybody down and I shouldn't call myself a friend. In the middle of the mall. Next to a crowded escalator. The reason? Our group of friends (consisting of 8 to 9 girls) were going out for some things, and I got a curfew. Need to get back before 7pm. Yeah, I am pretty domesticated, then. I just informed S I gotta go now and will catch the bus myself. And suddenly all hell break loose in front me. She was shouting herself hoarse. I was too dumbfounded to reply. Every eyes must be on me. All I did just look at her in disbelieved. In my head, she must have hate me from the beginning. She must had shouted for 5 to 10 minutes. I never know.

After she had paused and look a little out of breath, all I said, " So you are finish?" and leaved in search for my other friends (we were separated to 2 groups when got to the mall) who were shopping. My face must have betrayed me when I got to them telling them I am leaving. My friend F demanded to know whats the hell wrong. I summarized what happens and my other friend T who was there and followed me , nodded mutely and added in a few words.

F went scouring for S in the mall there and then , of course pulling me along. F is a pretty hot tempered person so I kinda went with her anxiously since I am among the mild one among my friend. (They would laugh themselves silly if reading this. Shut up. I am mild! :p) . You don't wanna mess with her when she is mad.

If what happened between S and me were like America attack on Iraq; sudden and no defense whatsoever, what happened between S and F is like when Germany meet France in WW2. Its like the clash of the titans since these 2 are the most hot tempered ones in our group. I can't keep track of all the words and insult being thrown to each other. F kept on saying" You shouted at Dila, bla bla bla?" and "You are the inconsiderate one..., kan Dila " and ALL dirty laundries and laundered there and then. And I just wished that the earth would opened up and swallow me whole. Oh, I forgot to mention. We manage to stage this scene next to the escalator, again. We were red faced and whispered "Dah dah la tu... org tengok ni" (don't a crowd love a little girl fights, all there is left of is pulling hair and mud or Jell O to make the scene complete) , and my friend A is crying openly asking us to stop. But its like we were transfixed. Never had we seen such storm of force.

I don't remember how it all ends. What I remembered (or suddenly remembered since I tend to block unpleasant memories) is that F did get the last word and then dragged me and the mortified ones to a taxi and back home.

It all went spiralling down then. Not our group of friends. We are as strong as ever now. But our friendship with her. We decided to boycott her. No one shall talk to her ever again. (Schoolgirls remember). She have to go back alone and learnt her lesson alone. Of course I have to be the most soft hearted one. Since I can see how lonely she is. And S realized this.

So one day, she asked me to see her. (tarik to be the word). I think I remembered seeing my friends was frozen midaction when they saw S taking my hand. She sat me down at class (By the way all of our gang of friends in one class). And suddenly, she flung down her head and cried out sobbing at my shoulder, (literally. My shoulder was basah lorrr at the time)

"Dila, kenapa sume orang treat aku camni?. Aku tak paham ape aku buat salah". Uhh.. I think I know, I think. My friends were looking at me , gaping.
"Sampai hati F buat aku camni", F was throwing daggerlike stares. I was feeling the heat.
" Ko aje la yang baik hati tegur aku". I patted her hands gingerly.
"You are truly a friend"

I. Am. At. A. Loss. Of. Words. She begged me to put in a good words about her to F. Never an apology to me. Not a word regarding what she had said to me. Never. Ever. Its like that chapter in the mall had been burnt off her memory.

F and my other friends then shred me to pieces for being too nice. Heh. But S did looked so pitiful and angry though I were, it's kinda hard to see that. And of course later WW3 erupted.

Things happened what is to be the end of things. I guess we just got sick of it all and needs to end it once and for all. Where it happened? Less crowded place. But we couldn't find a better audience. In front our classes. I honestly can't remember what triggers it. But it was a mess. No pulling hair or throwing things? Wait. I think they are. Oh. That was me and another story. Anyhow the words are harsher. More insinuations, more fingers pointing. More girls crying left and right. Some of us stay at the door resolutely daring anyone to go out and look for a teacher. The boys were petrified and stayed at the end of classes. If they could climb wall, I believe they would. Before that they closed all the windows since peoples from other classes were now coming out to hear and see whats going on. A teacher did came at the end and we were counselled and lectured about. That was the end of the fight. We ended our boycott. I think we ourselves heaved a big sigh of relieve. You cannot outlast a feeling of anger. It tend to wear you out.

But her and me are never the same. So does the rest. Our group is still together. Some of us grew apart , but we do remain close. But she is never in the gang anymore. She is no longer a part of us.


mangifera said...


now it's sound like Mean Girl version Malaysia. GIrl world with girl rules. lol.

anyway, bitching around about your friend is not good, especially in front of crowded audience, such pain in the ass for the victim. since SHE screaming (she must be so angry), it's so damn embrassing.

IF i were you, never ever i befriend with HER again. NEVER. cause of embrassement SHE give, enough is enough. but you're the mild one, sometimes, the quality in ourself might make people admire you as a person, and for that quality, i really admiring you...

it's kind hard to find a very mild person and forgiving person like you. i meet one before; my mom. she's unbelieveably kind hearted. and i really admiring her for that....

Zer0k3wL said...

Well..probably some people stil fail to realize that the world doesnt evolve around them.

Yet another case of cattle based activities here. You have your reasons and such decision should be respected to a certain extent. Heh..only if these people were completed breeded-out of existance right? Unfortunately we hafta deal with these kinda situations every now and then. I'd say whats done is done, ponder no longer, think no further - out of sight is out of mind right ?

To err is human to forgive is divine else just leave it about coz it'll only clog up ur mind

Stay cool eh dila..kasi chirpy sket cam zaman UTP kay..cheers!

Dila said...

Dueng - I am no saint. I never had actually forgiven her then. Not sure if I actually forgave her. No anger now I think. Only a bit sad she did not apologize. Its just that i pitied her then, I guess.

Huhu. I never had it in me to be angry to a certain person that long.But she had dropped from being a friend to just be that person who was my classmate .

Zerokewl - Heh. It had been a long time actually. Never ponder, but it is kinda like one of life's big 'peristiwa' that u'll remember till the end of days.

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