Monday, March 15, 2010

the "What If" of today

Supposedly my EDD was today. ( To the uninformed, it is Expected Delivery Date).

You know that we should not really think about the "What If's", but it seems such a good activity to be doing while spacing out, especially when stuck in jam. Curses the jam!

I don't feel bitter that I lost the pregnancy. I think I took it pretty well. Something are just not meant to be.

But it feels weird nonetheless, sometimes I like to sound it out to my husband. Like, at this particular time, if "that" didn't happened, I will probably be bitching to him about how fat I look. ( Not that I still don't bitch about how I think I look fat). Or if "that" didn't happened, I would probably have a kid around the same age as this and this. Or how changed our life would be.

Dangerous, these "what if" is. Like I said, its a bit weird.

Anyway, I am not particularly sad , I am just feeling like today could turn out differently but it do not. Maybe a tad bit melancholy. .

7 comments:

taqiyuddin bakir said...

hmm this sounds like nostalgia, but its not. what do you call that longing when it is not nostalgia?

Dils said...

Not really sure

alexa said...

Am sorry to hear about ur miscarriage...sedeh sbb aku pun tgh preggie.takpa boleh cuba lagi..ke sedang preggie skangni?

Dils said...

Congrats on your pregnancy then alexa.

Nope, maseh belum rezeki yet.

Kasapsky said...

Sabar, anggap je belum masanya lagi. Insya-Allah coming soon. It's better than until now u have nothing like Me. Umur dah 28 tapi still have nothing. So sabar je la anggap masanya blum sampai lagi. Cheers....

Dils said...

Hehehe. You're a guy, 28 is still fairly young.

FrH said...

xpe dila insyaAllah ada rezki lg ok. chill!

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