Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Zombies Apocalypse : White Meat or Dark Meat?

Did not mean that in racial term or disgusting term ( suddenly am reminded of a certain hilarious smut manga).  Had just been watching The Walking Dead and the character said something along the line of "There is no longer, white, nigger or white trash. There is only white meat or dark meat. White meat is the alive and dark is the dead." Excellent series. I implore you to join me in my zombies frenzy and be disgusted together watching the series.

So the question is will you be a zombie or a survivor? So in line with AMC awesome new show. It got me thinking, if say we are in the midst of a zombies apocalypse, how sure are we that we can survive? I mean sure, we saw all these movies that the people somehow manage to dodge all these zombies lunging at them. While random strangers suddenly shrieking, gone down, is now dinner. So why the other people who got eaten, got eaten? Are you following my logic here?

So in various zombies movies rules, here's MY probability predictions if you are more likely to survive or chomp on some poor soul brains.

  • If you are a woman: are you a hooker ?
  • If not, do you sleep around and are proud of it?
  • Are you racist and not afraid to make your view known?
  • Are you incline to be violent or had records/moments of violence? 
  • Are you obese/fat?
  • Were you involved in any way beforehand in the creation of said zombie apocalypse?

If you say yes to any of the above, I'll say about 90% chance you're most probably gonna be lunging around groaning for some fresh meat or fresh meat strewn across the street. 

  • Are you above 19 yrs old? 
  • Are you consider as a minority group/race?
  • Were/was you a hooker/stripper ? Were is the definitive word here. Basically had you resigned from such profession in search for greener pasture before the T-Virus Rage Virus zombie apocalypse came upon us?
  • Do you work in a secret underground office dealing with biological/pharmaceuticals stuffs?
  • Are you a single father with child in tow?
  • Do you have a hero complex?

Do you say yes to any? I say you stand 50-50 chance of surviving.

What about those who stand a very good chance of surviving eh. If you are any of the below, most probably you'll be riding to some forsaken land somewhere while the sun set.

  • In a group of survivor, you are the only teen/child. 
  • You are a single mother with child in tow. 
  • Female with a knack in weaponry. (and moral tendencies) 
  • You have mutant abilities.
  • You are a retired stripper with machine gun as leg. I mean really. If you're dead when you've machine gun as leg, you just got what's coming.

Yeah, I ran out of scenarios after I put mutant abilities there. Feel free to add em!

4 comments:

iceroll said...

damn. I'm definitely gonna be a zombie. guilty as charge.

Dils said...

haha... which is why you need to now train with the katana. Just so it looked cool. And bullets run out.

eyz said...

PLANET TERROR :D

mmm... me 50-50 % chance kot. lol

Dils said...

Planet Terror was lulzy!

Disqus for Dils Stop