When I was a wee girl, I thought to myself that at 25 I should be a VERY grand lady, where dining and wining (ala sparkling drinks je) is a norm in life. There would be a few movie stars personas worshipping the ground I walked on while I pined away for someone truly awesome like James McAvoy (hihu) or Cary Grant (masa die muda2). If the guy is a small country prince is even more awesome. Anak2 datuk tak main la OK masa time berangan. If you can dream, dream big right?
Berangan over kan masa kecik2. What I want to be in term of career is of course somewhat vague. But from all the movie air stewardesses seems to have a lot of fun in my 9 year old mind so I used to think I would like to be that so movie stars entering the plane can easily notice me and worship the goddess I should be. Of course the notion of being an air stewardess is never serious as I continue to be short and get motion sickness very often. And of course it was deemed uncool among the 'smart' kids to be 'pramugari', so it is entirely just a fanciful whims then, though I do suspect even nowadays that air stewardess still get to have lots of fun (even more fun than what my innocent 9 year old would think eh).
Well, so my ambitions seems to be always somewhat vague, even today. But a guy that should worshipped the ground I tread upon is always in my mind. I dreamt of love in a grand scale when I was small. I declared (in my mind but still quite loudly) that no ordinary love would settle in my life. And always, always... I would end my dream as such most fairy tale end their stories. "So the maiden marry her prince and thus they live happily ever after".
How laughable. How pitiful pon my dreams are. So years later , past 25. Here I am. Certainette not an air stewardess. Most certainly not living a grand life. Fine dining and wining make me uncomfortable. And I certainly cannot see how any movie star even the local independent cikai made by college students one, would notice me much less fall for me. And love stories in my life, though some are somewhat quirky and some are just blergh, but nothing really extraordinary happened or do not happened. So my life somewhat summarize goes on boringly like studied, worked, get married.
So perhaps my 9 year old self would wrinkle her nose in disgust when she saw me now. But I got a husband whom I believe love me wholeheartedly in spite of all my failings and whinings. Its no love in a grand scale but it is somewhat daunting in itself as new experience goes. I was then thinking, so there, a chapter close. The fair maiden marries and ..... . Happily ever after does not translate to life. How much more time do I need to stress this.
I was thinking, what is next? What is in store for my life except kids, work, more kids, more works? Oh... I guess I am hanging by the little things in life between mundane life routines, work and kids. The hanging out with friends. The weekend outing with the one you loves. The laughing on the antics of your own demented self and others. The hope of getting little wish lists fulfilled. And dreams. Oh... let me be 50 and never get tired of dreaming.
Berangan over kan masa kecik2. What I want to be in term of career is of course somewhat vague. But from all the movie air stewardesses seems to have a lot of fun in my 9 year old mind so I used to think I would like to be that so movie stars entering the plane can easily notice me and worship the goddess I should be. Of course the notion of being an air stewardess is never serious as I continue to be short and get motion sickness very often. And of course it was deemed uncool among the 'smart' kids to be 'pramugari', so it is entirely just a fanciful whims then, though I do suspect even nowadays that air stewardess still get to have lots of fun (even more fun than what my innocent 9 year old would think eh).
Well, so my ambitions seems to be always somewhat vague, even today. But a guy that should worshipped the ground I tread upon is always in my mind. I dreamt of love in a grand scale when I was small. I declared (in my mind but still quite loudly) that no ordinary love would settle in my life. And always, always... I would end my dream as such most fairy tale end their stories. "So the maiden marry her prince and thus they live happily ever after".
How laughable. How pitiful pon my dreams are. So years later , past 25. Here I am. Certainette not an air stewardess. Most certainly not living a grand life. Fine dining and wining make me uncomfortable. And I certainly cannot see how any movie star even the local independent cikai made by college students one, would notice me much less fall for me. And love stories in my life, though some are somewhat quirky and some are just blergh, but nothing really extraordinary happened or do not happened. So my life somewhat summarize goes on boringly like studied, worked, get married.
So perhaps my 9 year old self would wrinkle her nose in disgust when she saw me now. But I got a husband whom I believe love me wholeheartedly in spite of all my failings and whinings. Its no love in a grand scale but it is somewhat daunting in itself as new experience goes. I was then thinking, so there, a chapter close. The fair maiden marries and ..... . Happily ever after does not translate to life. How much more time do I need to stress this.
I was thinking, what is next? What is in store for my life except kids, work, more kids, more works? Oh... I guess I am hanging by the little things in life between mundane life routines, work and kids. The hanging out with friends. The weekend outing with the one you loves. The laughing on the antics of your own demented self and others. The hope of getting little wish lists fulfilled. And dreams. Oh... let me be 50 and never get tired of dreaming.
Comments
9 year old me. was i daydreaming about my future then? i think not. but did daydream about an awesome themepark on genting. i saw it in berita harian 1988.... a full size render of the genting theme park expected to finish somewhere around 1992. i was chuffed. saw the cool looking roller coaster and all
but u know what
20 years down the line
i still havent been up there! not even once. not even for a naughty one night romp with random chicks! i swear!
the 9 year old me would be baffled on why 29 year old me still havent visited the "awesome" theme park long after it was finished
the main reason i havent been to genting
ok.. i actually nak propose to mrse weiland up there when the time comes. prolly after seeing her puke green riding the roller coaster
isnt that just romantic
LOL LOL LOL
kalo cikgu tanya apa cita2..stended answer adalah askar and polis...
awesome idea of a proposal. but actually, we Malays have this sorta proposal ke?
I thought if it went, "My mom wants meet your mom" is a proposal in itself.
Hehehe..
Some:
Zaman2 ituh, engineer / jurutera pon dah jadi standard answer. Walaupon I think most of those who answered jurutera then, didn't know what it actually mean.
but all the while i tot u r going to be some kind of adibah amin .. asyik baca buku cerita jek dulu. haih.
but smart people like u (eh, like us ok...) is really not meant for pramugari. please laaa.. ;)
Huhu... not talented enough to be adibah amin meh...
Haih.. kenkdg bile pk balik keje2 ni.. mcm lg best jd stewardess je