Of a tiny sliver of life and Britney

Yawn. Today is a boring day. Is it? Not really. Its been a busy day. Some people are bitching that they are doing more work than others, and I felt the same way too. Only I moan more and just laze around deservedly. Figures. You see, I hate office politics. I don't care who get promoted or whomever get more higher bonus. Probably I don't plan in staying kut. Not that I AM going anywhere. Its ok enough working here. People my own age, no tittering unstable middle age makciks to bitch about you right in front of your face, get internet access, get to wake up late. Life is pretty good actually. But its not great. And it can be a bore.

Sooo as much as I love gossips, I don't like getting myself involved in office politics and gossips. You can get that position (not like there is so many to go around..) and I would be glad for you. You can talk bad about me, as long as that words don't reach back to my ears.

So got that out of my chest.

Now had you guys seen Britney nekkid pics? Head here for a peek ( What? Looking for the whole pics? Google it you perv, I am not helping you there). Well, not looking bad (I thought it was gonna be horrendous). I bet there are a lot of air brushing going around. The papparazzi pictures of her , showed her always at her absolute worst so I just assumed its not gonna turn out as nice.LOL.

I have a love/hate relationship when it comes to Britney Spears. I hate the bubblegum candy songs of her. But you gotta admit, it is catchy. You scoff at the idea of Britney Spears as a musical legend. However, you just could not get that Toxic head out of your head as much as you hate yourself for downloading it. You hate that she keep on dancing around in her vid clip like some strippers-in-heat in need of money, however you couldn't stop thinking, hey she is kinda sweet.

Always thought she was a dumb blonde before. Then she gots millions and billions of earning from her musical careers. That is one smart dumb blonde. The only dumb blonde move is to star in Crossroads, which was a really boring movie for a chick flick.

What kinda make me chuckle a bit is her pleading (not to mention her horrible unkempt hair when interviewed last week) and crying for the media to leave her alone. Then the next best step for you to get more privacy time? Appear preg-naked in a cover of a magazine! I am sure the media would dearly love to leave you alone after that.

Ah well I never have a paparazzi hounding me , much less a publicist. What do I know?

Now Britney stuff over. I am feeling very very thirsty. Kedai all tutup, its now getting dark. Sigh.

Post lil update:

Forgot to add. My sister coming back from Vietnam today. With her she brings back the complete season of Friends and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I say. HurraH! I love Friends. But I will absolutely pounce on Buffy the Vampire Slayer (which I pesan from my sis). My absolute kick-ass butt kicking supernatural chick flick. I am all for Team Spike! Peroxide never look so hot!

*dizzy from thinking of watching Spike in action again*

Variasikan Your Life?

Remembered when I moan about how life sucks. Oh yeah. I still moan that. Nonetheless, I also said that we try to improve things bit by bit. Or just try to be happy, on a small lil things? I didn't say that? Well, I meant to. I must had forgot.

Being generally unhappy about everything and to perk me up a bit, I took up violin lessons. Yeay. Always wanted to learn violin. Violinist looks too kewl~ I played the organ a bit when I was small. Organ sounds morbid. But it is mighty popular during my childhood time to send their youngsters to play organ, don't know why. So my sisters chided me on why I do not continue to get lessons on the organ. Well , why don't I?

I love playing the electric organ. You can create many songs, improvise existing songs and just basically have fun hitting the many buttons. I am not that good, but I am ok when nobody is watching. LOL. And I always enjoy teaching myself on the organ.

That is my violin 'kapuk'!!

Thus now, I wanted to learn something different. And I heard violin is a tough thing to take up. So why not? Might as well give myself a challenge eh? And it is indeed a challenge. First time pulling the bow to the string, it sounded more like a screech to me. Gaaaah. I was almost put off. But since I was already there, and the school owner look mighty excited to have some 'adult' also taking up violin lessons, I relented and sign up. Most of the students signing up are ranging between 6 year olds to 14 year olds. Never had I ever felt so old ~_~"

How did I found it? Really tiring to a first timers like me. Your posture need to be correct, every fingers needs to be in place, your arms needs to be straight and you need to find a way to tilt your bow to get just the right sound. It is very hard work indeed! When I was playing the organ, you hit the F# key, you got the F# key. For this, your arm needs to have the correct posture, your fingers needs to do all the guesswork as to where F# is , every little fingers to be in their own position in holding the bow. And you pull the string with your bow and your fingers numbingly holding the string, you found out that it doesn't sound that right. You are applying too much pressure or the bow went straying to another string.

But it is really, really fun. It take my mind off 'things'. It gave me a surge of adrenaline even though tired, whenever I finished my lessons. I always bounded joyfully back into the car after lessons. Even though it don't sound anything like Vanessa Mae, more of a screech and yowling about most of the time. But I am mighty satisfied. That is me holding that violin. That is me creating the noise from pulling that bow.

Key Your Word

Most of us with the usual blogs have the site tracking sites. How many of us came in, who came in, from which link. Just to inflate our ego more I suppose.

As like any other bloggers, I also like to look into this keyword that people supposedly put out to the World Wide Web in search of their reading materials? References? Just curious since it deviate from the usual link of my friends blog.

The usual one:

"Vincci Malaysia"

"Vincci Sales"

"The Great Malaysian Sales"

Even got request when does Vincci sales happening. Sorry babes, I am as clueless as you are. Got SMS from PMC, on sales sometimes, however I should say the best way is to pop your head into the mall and take a look . The Great Malaysian Sales, start on August. So that's that.

Some that are enough to be make me chuckle.
"Beromen di dalam bilik pengawas"
"Beromen di tandas"

How raunchy. Sorry lads, you don't find that kinda details here.

The one that left me bewildered:

" Withered Egyption girls having sex".

What kind of sick person want to watch 'withered' girl having sex? Withered. Came to mind skeletal anorexic chicks all gaunt and scary looking. And you want to watch that having sex? Euw!

But the winner have to be( sound effect please: ::drumroll:: ::cymbal crash::) :

" syphilistic dils number"

Which left me kinda going... umpphhh. Whatever does that mean? It is the only keyword that left me searching for words? Are they looking for someone name dils that contracted syphilis?

So I look it up myself (which I couldn't find on how does the person ever stumbled upon my humble domain) , and found, tada!

DILS also known as: Diffuse infiltrative lymphocytosis syndrome . Which can occur in 1st manifestation of HIV infection. This disease causes the patient to have sensory loss. Reading medical article gets really boring after the first few lines and skimmed a few lines more I think this are more likely to happen for HIV patient that also had contracted syphilis.

In other similar words: really bad if it happens to you. So I guess my blog don't have what number you are searching for. Help number? Contact person?

Recommendation : Go to the nearest hospital and make an appointment with a doctor.

See, you learned something new every day. Just a bit bummed that now I know dils is also some sort of disease.

Kiss me for Luck

Nah. Got an image of Lindsay Lohan new movie in my head just now. Just My Luck. Its about the unluckiest guy on earth met the kiss the luckiest girl on earth , and during this kiss, their luck changes. She became the unlucky one and he got all the luck.

I am in my sighing mood now. Because things are a bit off from my way. Unlucky? Last week my phone was being unreliable. And this week? My computer. What else. The sunshine in my otherwise dull life. It is showing Physical Dump Memory. The still blue screen when you know everything is lost. Sigh.

So will try to figure out what the hell's wrong it. And probably forked out more cash to greedy computer parts salesperson.

Coming to work today slightly thinking of my poor computer that could not come to reasonable state of life. Before I could even sit properly on my chair, a customer is already looking for me berating me because of a stupid misunderstanding that was not even my problem to begin with !!! Got a sneaking suspicion, someone made a mistake and trying to shift this to me!!!

I had even bring this up to the manager since I could not do a thing from my end except give empty promises. Got another empty promises on how somebody gonna call this customer back, which resulted in NADA. No calls made to this poor customer. I felt for this customer. I really do. But I obviously could not do anything, which thankfully the customer understand . ( I thank my own persuasion skills, ehem , ehem) . But he want some kinda answer back soon next week which I think even my own persuasion skills might fail then.

Which bring me to impending feeling of doom, since the manager will not be in next week. I got some vague response when I had reported of this customer troubles and requests. You can be damned sure this case will come back to bite me on my ass since no one wants to take responsibility. Great. Any bartending position open?
What a great start to work right? Now, just for closing, things could not get any better. I am in an afternoon shift which end somewhere at 9 or 10 pm. So just before I typed this, my bladder is giving me sign. To the bathroom you must go. Heeding the call of nature, I went into our floortoilet. The toilet is located outside of the office , so you need to basically go through 2 doors.

Hitting the door, a foul smell invaded my senses. Now, bathroom = foul smell. Typical of any Malaysian toilet sadly to say. But going in a few steps back to my favorite cubicle ( Come on, don't say you guys who work don't have a favorite cubicles ), I freezes cause the foul smell is really quite disgusting, and I lost my appetite just reliving the experience to you unfortunate readers. There was the No.2 (a.k.a as human droppings) splattered across the floor of my favorite cubicle and the adjacent cubicles. Someone had besmirched my cubicle! Unforgivable! She deserved to be lynched, quartered and hang out to dry.

I went out of the toilet hurriedly losing my ability to feel, appease the nature and my appetite. I checked and double checked that I don't have any 'mark' on my sandals so I can throw it away and walk barefoot back. Thankfully my ratty sandals are spared.

Shheeeessshhhhh! Did I mention that before coming to work I had also managed to see a human shit near Avenue K? The usual shit that the regular crazy guy which haunt its bus stop leave freely quite happily. Those who walked there had become accustomed to the sudden pile of human defecation spoiling our walking experience, that we generally tend walk slightly deviating from the our straight line . The today dropping? Not in the usual place but was spotted well ahead. But definitely not one of the thing you want to start your day with eh?

What is with all the shit; literally, that people wanted to show to the world?? I think I had seen enough of my fair share.

Argh. I think I am going to hunt 7 different kinda flower to 'mandi bunga' to wash all this bad experience (or bad luck if you might call it) away. Or maybe I could just kiss one hell of a lucky guy to change my luck? Easier to find bunga I say. The F1 deco flowers is still in bloom in front of KLCC. Right.

Standing in the Middle Ground

Of football fever. I thought I was not gonna blog about this. . Since I was never a football fan.But who am I kidding. The World Cup every 4 year only. I could only get the chance to blog this in another 4 year time. Furthermore, World Cup reminders are plastered everywhere I go. Either you like it or not , you need to nod your head in agreement that it is happening.

Now. I am thinking what is the point of this entry again. Oh sod it. Probably it just for the sake of updating. For those of you who are so nice to come in here once in a while and read it. See see. I am being generous. Hahaha.

Ehem. Anyway. I don't have anything against football. Soccer. World Cup. In fact I enjoyed watching the 2002 World Cup apart from what Asrol might say. However that was in the day when I was holidaying, have not got much to do and all of the decent TV station is showing the match. It is either that or some lame drama swasta that have the same plot again and again (Rich guy/girl meet poor man/girl, conflict arises, love triangle, parents disapproval, bla bla bla... that is a different rant altogether).

I can see the goodness in these match. Large sweaty men running around chasing one ball. The aim? To shoot the ball into a really big net . Then the team which managed to literally at time kick the other teams asses , win a big golden trophy that of course have one golden ball perched at the top. All grown men will then shouted gleefully or cry unashamedly in unison all over the world except of course the US. Sheesh.

Now see. I understand the game. Kidding. I meant to say that I can see the beauty in it. The good defensive strategy use by the German. The passion ( a.k.a .. *cough* *cough*
beauties/really handsome guys/tall,dark,handsome.. *cough* *cough*) that the Italians and the Spanish team when they play. The antic of Ronaldo. The flair of the Brazil team play. ( I like watching the Brazil team. Its like watching a streak of green and yellow maddeningly go across the field) . Our hope and support on the underdog team to let them surprise us if they are able to make it and also to make some people very rich.

If people ask me to join them to see a football watch, I wouldn't refused. Heck, I even join with you guys in shouting some swear words when some dumb players ; as many of you would deem it at that particular time, could not manage to score a decent goal.

But. There is a but here. To me, it is not the most wanted to watch thing at the moment. If say, any of my favorite series are showing at the moment, I would rather watch this series. Or movies showing. Or do something else, go out, shop, go to cinema. Let just say that, if there is no errand, no activities, no cinematic experience I needed to experience, no series, no decent show; then , maybe, maybe I will turn the Sport Channel on.

So leave me alone with your football mania and pushing around saying I need to watch the World Cup, since it is the greatest game on earth, or it is only once in every 4 year, or whatever reason it is. Nah. I will be interested to see the result or to take a peek in once in a while or join you when watching it mamak. But why does offside is consider an offside , completely eluded me. So that is why it don't hold my interest for long.

p/s: I still think Germany would win. Come in close second , Brazil.

Be Careful Of What You Wish For...

Or it might comes true.

I have a hankering for a new handphone last week. Not really in need of one. Just you know the urge to shop. Spending money needlessly. Desire. Lust. The 7 deadly sins.

Went for a lunch date with my friends at Sungei Wang last Saturday. Sungei Wang always have a tantalizing show of handphones. So we went into each booth and held, adored, tested many of the phones. Motorola. Samsung. Sony Ericcson. My heart was tempted. What is more with my devilish friends are already whispering sweet nothing to my ears
" Lawa ni Dila... eeeii.. warna pink lak tu ".
" Eii.. bestnye phone ni. Clear gile gamba die. "

Sigh. Not helping me save money, my friends here. See See. Anyway, I managed to not be sway and tear myself away. I had win. Desire lost. 1 - 0.

After all I thought to myself, there are a loads of other things I need to buy and this would be sheer extravagance on my side.

Or so I thought. On Tuesday, my adequate averagish phone are showing telltale sign of being unreliable. At first having problems calling people. At first I thought it is a DiGi problem. Then by yesterday, if I manage to get them, or them me, I have to resort to speaker phone. Definitely not helping when I am currently looking for a job while currently ON a job.

Funnily this happen today. Thank God that it is already late and not much people around or *gasp* *shudders* my boss nearby. My phone is silently ringing. Looking into the number, it is an undentified KL number. Goody. Interview opportunities. Accepted the call hoping my phone won't fail me. It 'failurely' did.

Talk about multi tasking. I was with a customer when the phone start ringing, but luckily the customer needed to be transferred. Transferring customer while talking to a phone agreeing to an interview , with the speaker phone blaring out our conversation.

Thats it. My phone basically failed as a phone. A working non-nonsense phone. If basic function such as calling a person and sms 'kong', it is time to change your phone. Think about it.

If kidnapped and stashed and bound in a small room or closet. Am wide awake after sometime. Found out got handphone with self. Call 999 or 122 or 112 or whatever emergency number is for handphone. Dang! Need to turn on speaker phone. A dead giveaway to kidnapper hearing this outside the door; " bla , bla, bla Panggilan Kecemasan... Ape yang boleh saya bantu" . Literally. The kidnapper think how incredibly stupid the victim could be, ragingly slashed the victim's throat.

Okay. Okay. I am over exaggerating. But hey, this could make a great scene in a thriller movie.

So I get my wish after all. I can have my options of handphone. Guilt free. (Well, maybe not that guilt free.)

Being sweet, I'll give my phone some chance to redeem itself until this weekend.

Internet is Down

Here I am. The Internet connection at my company are acting up. Yesterday, we were left desolate , cut off from the cyber world. Well except the 4 of us who have the Corporate machine.

Today things improved. But my application is acting up, it kept on disconnecting. So I am having problems doing my work. I turn to blog. That means I am bored.

I got another job,in a server based company. However they wanted me to start immediately which is impossible. Haih. Read la. I say 1 month notice clearly in my resume. Sigh. Therefore I have to miss out on this opportunity. I could not leave my company in 24 hour notice and paid them RM2k. Simply said, it do not tempt me to leave my company in such fashion.

In making this decision, I turn to perform Solat Istikharah to ask God in providing some guidance. Hoping to get some kinda dream about jobs related stuff, I ended up waking up with an image of *ehem* *ehem* him in my mind. Felt disgusted with subconcious self that could not even detach in making life altering decision.

However the next day, I am fairly sure this should be my decision; that I could not simply just quit and go, so I took that as a sign and don't let doubt seeped into my mind again. Well at least mind numbing doubts with thousand of question marks flitting through mind.

Remembered my post of bleak hopeless future. Ahh.. I forgot to put the upside of it. Hahaha. I guess, I got carried away. Anyway, I will try to make some changes in my life.

Life on a job will drain your life away. I remembered my trainer Yunki asked me what I blogged about. I just shrugged and said stuff and all. He said it is good that I got things outside of work for my interest. It kept yourself grounded as a person and you wouldn't be stress or go mad from the hectic and pressure of work.

So, right. Why do you think I watch Grey's Anatomy so much? To see other people suffer in their own work!

But little changes can be made here and there. So big dreams are to be sighed about and think moonily of once in a while. Some people are just lucky to enjoy what they are paid to do everyday. While some, like others, just drudge on hoping for the best. However you can still make your little dreams happen. The thing you always wanted to do, the place you always wanted to see, the peoples you always wanted to visit.

The Time Traveler's Wife

I was first introduced to this book by Taqiness. However he gave me an e-book. Haih. I am still a good ol fashioned bookworm. Reading e-book tend to give me headache.

I loved reading book before going to sleep, with a mug of steaming Milo or very mild Nescafe (to help me to a better sleep) , in my hand. I loved reading book right after waking up, curled in my blanket, with little ray of sunshine shining down on my bed. Flipping the pages. Feeling the paper on my smudged fingers. I am way off point here.

Anyhow, I had finished reading The Time Traveler's Wife. My thought after I had finish reading it. C'est magnifique! Marvellous! Fabuloso! Tres bien incredible! Okay. I think I had just managed to butcher and offend the French language.

Before going on further , I will just give a brief summary of the book.

The book is about the life and love of both the Time Traveler, Henry and the love of his life and wife, Clare. Henry is suffering from some genetic disorder which caused him to time travel involuntarily. Exciting? Not if you would appear somewhere sometime stark naked and chased by a dog. All he wish was a normal life with Clare. The ever waiting patient wife.

Clare first meet Henry when she was 6 and Henry was 36. Henry first met Clare when he was 28 and Clare was 20. Complicated? Yes at first. And so this book tells of their complicated life and their great love. On the painful humilliation and experience he have to undergone whenever he time travel. And of the anxiety and agonizing wait Clare have to endure.

The plot is simple enough. At first you are trying to figure out the time they are together. As you get used to the storyline and the idea of a genetic disorder that can caused people to dissapear and appear in another time (freaky? yeah. Highly illogical? yeah too), however as you read on, this are push aside. Then you are lost in their world , wishing them well even though their life and future seems bleak, screaming at them to find a way to change their fate and their curse.

I love how the author depicts the story so vividly.You can almost see them in colors. Their early love and life in the Meadow where Henry always appear meeting past Clare, almost as green and colorful with all the colors of the nature. The childhood and early life of Henry before meeting Clare. Depicted as cold and dark, which makes me think of a dark grey drizzling rainy night and hearing a soft sad piece of classical music. Their tumultuous years, where passion and emotion run high, giving it a bask of red.

This is one of the few most poignant and beautiful book I had read (Probably my taste is more bloody and gory). The author, Audrey Niffenegger do not go into much detail into explaining on how does the genetic disorder comes upon, or how its happening and the science of it. Which I find pretty vague, but this give Henry problem more an aura of mystery. Its story among of all things tell of a love story. There is the all enduring, great love that they have with each other. But it also tells of the many other faces of love, the destructive love that destroyed a person so completely. The all consuming love which left a person broken up. Love which are filled with longing that stands for years showing the great chemistry it invoked, giving sparks and fireworks . The desolate convenient love. And the ever hopeful love. Love of a lover, of friends and family.

I found in IMDB that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt had bought the rights to this book for filming. Can't imagine Jennifer Aniston as Clare. But since their marriage went belly up, I wonder if not them, who would be brave enought to attempt to bring this to the big screen?

If one sentence can sum it all? A haunting, poignant beautiful story that tells of love all enduring.

p/s: wow wheee~ update lagi.

The days my dream came crashing down

No. It wouldn't take a day. It probably take a few months or even these past year.

Now. Its been sometime since I bitch about something. Now its the time. I will bitch about everything. But where to start? Who shall I protect so that he/she won't be hurt when they read my blog? Does the expense of baring it all is actually worth the fragile friendship I try to make?

You see. They all said life in your teens sucks. Teenagers have all these hormones keep on shooting up , which messes up their life. This then led to drug abuse, wild dangerous partying, casual unprotective sex.. and so on. This is what THEY says. Who? Pyschiatrist, so called PHD doctors. You know what? My life as a teenagers was great. I think they got it all. They got youth, they got hope, they got ambitions, they got time and alll of the first time moments. And if problemos arises. Presto! Blame it on your parents. Blame it on the government. Blame it on the hormone. Heck, some even blame God.

When you got to your 20s? You are all grown up. You had finish studying. You realized suddenly that you are not being spoon fed by all the information and learning. Poof. You are left to fend for yourself. Find a job. Felt the wrath of a boss. Felt pressurized and slightly dull by the monotonous life you led everyday.

But the most horrible things are. Your dreams. Some peoples are lucky to achieve their dreams. They know what they want, and they got what they want. In your 20s, you realized, ambition and dreams are not as clear cut as they were when you were an aspiring youth walking through campus. You need to compromise with yourself. Find a solution or alternative that can make you if not as happy, but as satisfied.

You are thinking as you led your everyday life. This is not what I want. What had happened along the way? So you pushed through life in your 20s, blindly , finding what suit you. Who you really are? What do you really want to do? Who you really want to be with? Who you CAN be with? Who is your real friends? Are you really that strong? Are you really that hard headed? Can you take real pressure? Does all of your noble intentions are just intentions but never an act?

You fight unreasonable tears. Why this is happening? Don't I give my all? You realized that honesty no longer work. I found out that honesty is not much appreciated in your 20s. It will bite you at the ass while the person is laughing, silently thinking, ah you pitiful naive creature. You spend your socializing faking that smile. Saying everything is grand, but life still a bitch just as so to show you are not showing off.

The upside of it? The cash of course. The effort which generate on own cold good ol cash. But that is spent on paying off your loans. Now. Life is just bleak. So does the weather now.

So thats why I shop. Yeay! Pretty things make me happy. Huhuhu.

p/s: I think this entry is just to justify my spending habit kut. Haih.