Dils Stop .

I had told you before that I will give an update on The Bachelor. Before this I was really consumed by it. Hahaha.. Maybe I just have too much time in my hands. Nonetheless, today I just can't stomach it. I won't say anymore on how bitchier Trish get.. But actually I had just type it.. So there,the harm is done. Overall.. all I seen is a lot of kissing and less talking and I just can't stomach it any longer. Therefore I had taken channel surfing to prevent myself from puking out everytime I see Jesse hell bent on kissing and making out with every girl. He is undoubtedly the cutest Bachelor so far, but I also think he also like making out with various gals a little tad bit too much. If you wanna eliminate a girl (in this case Suzie) give her a peck or a decent kiss.. you don't kiss /grab/pillows all flying every direction and send her home the next day. I like the part when Jenny came and told the gals the truth, and Trish expression, she just STOP being friendly with th...

I had a dream. Not the daydream sorta things. My dream when you sleep. I dont always enjoy my dreams since I always dream of ghosts, murderers, being chased and HIM. But this dreams make me dont wanna wake up. I dream of a man. I cant remember his face. He came to me and ask me to dance. And dance we did in a catacomb, under the moonlight in a pool of water reaching to our knees surrounded by ancient pillars. It was a beautiful dream, it was a beautiful dance. And later I was sobbing quietly under my pillows. And he came.. and wiped my tears away, holding me. Telling me he is here now and not to be sad again. I doesnt know what does it signify. Perhaps it signify nothing. Perhaps it signify my wants.

Love... Oh.. No.. I am becoming sappy again. Not just yet peoples. I am still the irritable, jaded little person I am. I just want to quote what my friend wrote... Love is a constant fascination.. It kinda knocks the winds right out of me. I never found a truer words. Be it you 16 or 60.

Lets take a ramble down my thoughts. Where the points don't matter and logic are thrown out of the window. In another much simpler words, I have no idea what to post. My last post was surely a gloomy one. I think the hols are doing to me a whole lots of bad rather than good. I think I needed to take a break from holidays. I am starting to be one of those pessimists and are prone to think of disagreeable things such as dying to be a spinster with nothing to eat but bread and be fat and idle. I have a premonition..( more like my mom told me) my 2 sisters will come down to JB tonight, therefore I won't get a chance to use the Internet when peoples are overflowing in my house. And I have my niece to contemplate with. But it is annoying since I am now seems to fall into depression state. Kinda like moping around the house and grew irritable with everyone day by day. I hate applying jobs and boasted to peoples of my meagre knowledge and thinking how a girl with no apparent skills...

You see, I always wanted to say something serious here. Not becoz I wanted to make a difference or whatever, I don't care for things like that. I am nearing 23! So I am jaded already.. haha. But I just like to mull things over. There are something that try as you might. Other won't understand. Like Taqi trying to understand what the hell I was trying to say on my last post. But I remembered telling him, I won't tell him too much about whats in my heart and head now. I am afraid of jinxing it. And even telling it a little, I think I had manage to jinx it. Its just when others don't know about things, you don't feel as suffocated. Its refreshing to not have peoples watching you, calculating your moves, gauging your feelings. It can be apain trying to hold it all in by urself. But in a way.. its a whole new feeling I need to explore. I have this creeps about older guys. I have a bad experience when. I won't tell. But I hate it when older guys , sizing you up, lo...

I had before this aired my unofficial view on the new Bachelor eps. I seems to be having a fever. Hence I will not be giving details. But just say.. that Trish the bitch is staying on. Urgh.. and my opinion of Jesse the Bachelor had somewhat lessened by the number of women he try to make out with. Of course this is a dating game so kissing is necessary. But then.. kinda like all the kissing had come as somewhat like a blur to me.. and it looks so.. played out. Jesse's friend is dissapointed that he is adamant to try to like Trish despite Jenny telling him that Trish had slept with married men before and not sorry, and think their wives are dumbass for not knowing. But of course, Jesse being a man and being with a woman looking supermodel-like, will not care. And Jenny will not be there to tell him which one is the nice one since Jenny had not been given a rose. Yikes! But I guess the man have to make decisions by himself from now on... yeah.. be a true man.. I guess.. whatever that...

Yes peoples, I had graduated. I passed all my last semester exams with not quite flying colors.. more like the colors are dragging its feet. Strangely am feeling numb, numbly trying to think why I am not excited, nor sad. Well.. whatever I am now a jobless graduate. Hurray!

This is depressing. I feel depressed. I like blogging. It seems to keep me sane. I don't care about eradicating poverty, stopping violence, or other worthwhile stuff. Evil had been lurking since the start of time. With my worthless opinion, it won't suddenly stop and kow towed to me. So .. go ahead evil. We are all doomed anyway. There is no such things as true happiness. Those who experience it are airheads. I am in my hate all mood now. Therefore excuse my lackdaisical attitude towards the fate of humankind. I felt depressed watching the news. But that it is all I can seems to do. I felt hopeless watching the suffering of others. I felt even angry knowing that they are peoples stealing a pathetic 10 seconds of limelight in trying to relate an equally pathetic opinion to the public. I felt even angrier that the media is having a fest of this. I felt like throwing things at ignorant fools. I felt like throwing more bigger and lethal objects at ignorant authority figure fool...

Due to half of my readers request (which counts to only 2) for me to update my not so much blog, I will I will. I am at JB now. Home sweet Home. or so it seems. Everything here is fine. Normal. Excepting my brother hair. Whenever I saw him around the house I had the unpleasant view of a junior version of Alleycats. I told him to get a haircut.. he doensnt look cool despite any attemps made in combing and moussing his hair. Nonetheless being in my family and inheriting our stubborn genes, he refused my advice and keep on thinking he have the coolest hair around and he look darn good looking. Even birds are thinking to start a nest on his head. Enough description. I had enough viewing of the ridiculous "head piece" and are made to walk publicly beside him, I don't need to imagine it in my head anymore than possible. Anyhow, I would also like to give my unofficial view of The Bachelor. The one I am seeing is currently Jesse something.. who cares anyway.. He is a quater...