Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Isolation

When I was in uni, I like to do stuffs alone. Go out alone. Shop alone. Go to class alone. The early years. I got scoffs and mocked for it I think. But I think I was happy then. While I am happy when I am with friends, I don't get the vindictiveness some people have, just because I prefer to do things all by myself. 

The thing is because... simply I hate asking. I don't like the thought that asking people to accompany me.  I always feel like I am not a good company. I don't feel like they want to hang out with me, and rather to see people hesitate when I ask, I rather not ask. 

Nowadays, I found the joy of doing stuffs alone again. I am not burdened with girl dramas so I can go out anytime I like doing whatever the things I like. Maybe not go out with random guys like I used to :p but I can basically do stuffs I want if I want it and I don't need other people to go with me. 

Sometimes I think I like to isolate myself. Perhaps I idly wondered why people don't incline to ask me out, which only increase my belief that I am really a boring person to hang out with. But I also recognize communication work both ways. I don't like asking, I don't feel like asking. 

This post is not an encouragement for people to start calling me and asking me out anyway. 

I like my hermit life. At the very least I have a sister next door if I crave human talk, but I am fine by own too. 

I am going to enjoy my state of solitary life because pretty soon a tiny human being will need me to be his lifeline. 


2 comments:

chics said...

I like my hermit life too. antara sebab suka macam ni is because I too hate to ask for help, for people to wait on me and to deal with drama.

Certain people said life aku nampak sedih but the truth is, I am so happy being alone.

Bedmate is an exception though.

Dils said...

Lifelong partner is usually the exception, though kalau die balik lama sangat sometimes I yearn to be alone balik bile gadoh remeh temeh.

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