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Imagination

Been less than a week I am a non student..
Kinda weird.. not freeing.. Needed to wait for the examination result..
Dial up Internet sucks.. I cant wait to let broadband into my life.
Life now is numbing.. It is as exactly as whut I imagined it would be
Constant boredom with temporary relief. My imagination who used to be such a good companion... now is killing me.. It just gave me pain now..
Thank God for the few friends who kept their words in contacting me.. I doesnt need to go out.. Just a simple.. joke.. hey ya.. wutcha doin.. but NOOOO.. so I am forced to resort to the unreasonable and the unthinkable.. talk to my baby niece on the telephone in front of her like I am some kind of idiot.. No wonder she giggles uncontrollably.. She probably think whut is that stupid idiot of an aunt doing talking to the phone by herself. Ah well.. my niece is kinda cute when she's not bawling her tonsils out.. so it is worth it being some kind of an idiot in front of her. At least she appreciate it. Ok.. I am officially pissed and down.. so I better stop..

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Raw

Why does my heart cried Feelings I can't fight You betrayed me But just don't deceived me And please believe me when I say I love you [From the movie Moulin Rouge] And why didnt he? He's playing hot and cold.. hot and cold with me. I can't stand it. Yet I always come back for more. I am a true blue masochist. I don't even ask him to love me. I just ask him to miss me. And he couldnt even do that.. or say it. I just want to see his face once more. To see his lovely smiles, his small laugh. Why couldn't I forget him. When he could so easily dismissed me.. he could just easily come back and messed my sense and sensibility. While my tears fall down to my keyboard, yet at the same time I was making jokes and soothing him telling him "no worries". I don't ask for much... a smile, a pat on the hand. I miss him so much. Yet I am so afraid to let it shows. Becoz then if I show it... it will hurt 10 times more.