Skip to main content

My new favorite site

Funny Facebook Fails
see more funny facebook stuff!


I would think if you are typing while masturbating, it would be a masturbate fail. But then I had never participate in a sex chat.

Did I ever tell you how I try to participate in a sex chat, but failed because I was laughing so hard while shuddering? I don't know, if I ever did, but let me rehash the story. (I think I must have told to some of my friends)

I got into the internet back in 1998. It was fairly new at the time, and the thought that I can communicate with people from all around the world thrills me. Yes. I am not a boy, so I never care much about porn. But getting into the scary world of the WWW, you will be exposed to it anyway. Especially if you are new and a teenager.

Digressing. Like I said I like to chat. While everyone else was getting fired up on MiRC, at the time I got into Yahoo Chat and chatted with many, many people around the world. And I assure you, not only the Malaysian men/boys kept on asking for sex chat. Of course the phrase used then is cybersex. Is it still used now? I am no longer hip and cool. There was one time; an American, I think used the term " Do you want to Yahoo?" . Which meant cybersex. And I declined like all the other requests before me.

One bored day I got a little curious. I was wondering, how one actually 'do' a cybersex? I just want to see how it goes. So it goes something like

Boy in some part of the world: Hey you wanna cyber?

Me: Sure!

Boy: Great!

Me: Hmmm. This is my first time, so you need to teach me.
(Hmmm...I wonder if that got him fired up )

Boy: No worries. I will tell you what to do. First, go to your refrigerator and take a zucchini or a carrot.

Me: Why?

Boy: So you can slide it into your p****y ( There are some word that I just refused to type).

DilsUsernameAtTheTime had now logged out. 

I was aghast. I remembered thinking "Do people actually do that?" "Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah!" while laughing hysterically. It just seems painful to me. And a gross misconduct and abuse to a vegetable. While it was tempting to let him go on and on but even now being 27 and married, I don't really want to know what people would suggest another person do to a zucchini.

But hey, I kinda missed chatting with random people around the world. But from what I know with webcams and everything, the chat world had gotten a whole lot more scarier. Its not all bad then. I used to get a Christmas card from some random dude I used to chat regularly with living in London. He is either a gym instructor or a gym enthusiast because he kept on mentioning doing weights. He got the most abysmal handwriting I had ever seen but still it was nice of him.




Comments

iceroll said…
hahahahaha. this is really one hillarious stuff. I really LOL. hahaha. And yeahh. Such an abuse to the vegetables too. How mean! (Yeah right). haha
Anasfadilah said…
oleh kerana sex store kene raid,rasa lebih ramai akan salah guna sayur..

makanan tu,yuck! put la something else..fikir la kan apa patut..hahah

suka baca oatmeal gak,gelak sorang-sorang selalu :)
FrH said…
hahaha so hillarious!!

i guess this would happen to only school teenagers .. sejak masuk u dah xde dgr dah psl ni .. bongok btol!!
Dils said…
Iceroll:
It just seems painful lor. Yeuch, yeuch. And carrot lagi horror ok. Bukan kasar ke tu. Euwwww.


Dila:
Oatmeal?

Kalo order online sex toys ni agak2 lepas ke? Hahaha..



Frh:
Mungkin sebab kalo dah uni tarak kejahatan sudah meningkat kut.
Anonymous said…
theoatmeal.com is a comic strip page dils. quite fun too. heheh.

now with webcam and stuff, cybersex getting much demanding. takde webcam tamau cybersex tu!

and pity me; my laptop doesn't hv one. sobsob.

LOL.

P/s: no, i dont need a carrot. HA HA HA.
Dils said…
Nanti aku usha, cam menarik.

Ah, so the uglies will also be denied the pleasure and anonymity of cybersex begituh.
Anasfadilah said…
dils::lepas. pasal ada malaysian yg buka kedai sex online.

Nuffnang

Popular posts from this blog

End of a decade?

So people are like eh its not the end of a decade, end of a decade is dec 2020. Whatever. We ignore this people. Nearing towards the end of 2019. I wanted to summarize what I had done in a decade but old age is catching up and my memory is foggy. Lets just tried it. From 2010 to 2019 - I had worked 3 jobs.  Quit and now a SAHM. - Went from 2 cats to 8 til recently and now down to 5. I can manage 5. 8 was chaos. - Somehow from having no kids I now have 3 boys. 2,5,7 . - I want to say I travel unsatisfactorily but I visited about 6 countries in 10 years. Ok lah.  - Husband went from long distance and now back at home just recently. - Went from a US tv shows addicts to Kdrama addicts. - Read a lot the first half of decade, not so after quitting. Duduk rumah don't feel like reading. Which is bad sebab kenkadang feels like brain rotting off. - Blogging is no longer a thing by 2019, but we hardened early 2000s bloggers are coming back to spout off nonsense s...

Raw

Why does my heart cried Feelings I can't fight You betrayed me But just don't deceived me And please believe me when I say I love you [From the movie Moulin Rouge] And why didnt he? He's playing hot and cold.. hot and cold with me. I can't stand it. Yet I always come back for more. I am a true blue masochist. I don't even ask him to love me. I just ask him to miss me. And he couldnt even do that.. or say it. I just want to see his face once more. To see his lovely smiles, his small laugh. Why couldn't I forget him. When he could so easily dismissed me.. he could just easily come back and messed my sense and sensibility. While my tears fall down to my keyboard, yet at the same time I was making jokes and soothing him telling him "no worries". I don't ask for much... a smile, a pat on the hand. I miss him so much. Yet I am so afraid to let it shows. Becoz then if I show it... it will hurt 10 times more.