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the "What If" of today

Supposedly my EDD was today. ( To the uninformed, it is Expected Delivery Date).

You know that we should not really think about the "What If's", but it seems such a good activity to be doing while spacing out, especially when stuck in jam. Curses the jam!

I don't feel bitter that I lost the pregnancy. I think I took it pretty well. Something are just not meant to be.

But it feels weird nonetheless, sometimes I like to sound it out to my husband. Like, at this particular time, if "that" didn't happened, I will probably be bitching to him about how fat I look. ( Not that I still don't bitch about how I think I look fat). Or if "that" didn't happened, I would probably have a kid around the same age as this and this. Or how changed our life would be.

Dangerous, these "what if" is. Like I said, its a bit weird.

Anyway, I am not particularly sad , I am just feeling like today could turn out differently but it do not. Maybe a tad bit melancholy. .
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Comments

Taqiyuddin said…
hmm this sounds like nostalgia, but its not. what do you call that longing when it is not nostalgia?
11:46 AM, March 15, 2010
Dils said…
Not really sure
11:56 AM, March 15, 2010
alexa said…
Am sorry to hear about ur miscarriage...sedeh sbb aku pun tgh preggie.takpa boleh cuba lagi..ke sedang preggie skangni?
5:05 PM, March 15, 2010
Dils said…
Congrats on your pregnancy then alexa.

Nope, maseh belum rezeki yet.
11:10 AM, March 16, 2010
Kasapsky said…
Sabar, anggap je belum masanya lagi. Insya-Allah coming soon. It's better than until now u have nothing like Me. Umur dah 28 tapi still have nothing. So sabar je la anggap masanya blum sampai lagi. Cheers....
3:44 PM, March 16, 2010
Dils said…
Hehehe. You're a guy, 28 is still fairly young.
2:23 PM, March 18, 2010
FrH said…
xpe dila insyaAllah ada rezki lg ok. chill!
2:57 PM, March 18, 2010
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