My Phone and Me

My first ever handphone was being given by my ex-boyfriend. It was the Banana Nokia. And I always love to put its yellow cover on. So cute.

My first ever own number attached to my name was DiGi. Until now, I am with DiGi. Not with the first DiGi number laa. This is my 2nd number. 1st number got stolen by some lazy ass guy who is probably suffering from syphilis (If you don't ,I hope you do) and perhaps by selling off my handphone and stealing puny rm50 in wallet can buy medications for his venereal disease.

You can call me a loyal DiGi customer. I can be loyal if they treat me good.. And they treat me, very very good. Which had made me remembered *gasp* My birthday coming up. Need to top up soon so can get extra RM. Man.

Anyhow , my friends during Raya asked me about sms thingies. On why I rarely replied his sms. Laziness kicks in. I guess. But thinking back....

Then during phone-mania era where Dino Handphone was acceptable and 3210 was considered cool:

- Any call was welcome
When we heard that ring tones we always jump! Saying oooohh.. ahhh... Call Call.. Someone wanting to call me. Someone care. Yippee.

Yeah .. yeah.. I lack self-esteem.

- Any SMS was treated immediately
At that time any sms was treated irreverently. You can only send from 016 - 016. 012- 012. Pity the outsiders. I do not get much SMS because of this... since well.. I was using 016. Most of my friends was using 012.
The turnaround time to reply was immediately. If got no credit, then almost immediately after had top up. If somebody important sms ( you know what I meant) , the topup filling turnaround is also almost immediately.

-You are always wondering that missed calls are from whom
Got 1 missed calls, no lah. I do not call back. 2 or 3 I call you back la. But you at time wonders who's the number you missed calls.

- Missed Call meant that you miss them or a sign to contact me or kind like a game.
Used to have this boyfriend. Too stingy to call or sms. So he missed call. He says that whenever he misses me, he will missed call me. Kinda funny huh.
And some of my friends love to miss call one another to the point of distractions to the one staying in the same rooms with em.

- SMS was then always funny, jokelike, characters made to look like pictures showing that you care
You know you always got those SMS. Flying coffin rumors. The bear like or bird like characters saying something like Friendship Forever or I Miss You. Back then every one was wanting to have the most unique and complex like SMS texts. Weird. Count me out on that. But I did remember I like em well enough dulu.

- People can't tear themselves away from their handphone.
No need remarks like See It To Believe It. It must have happened to you. At the very least someone close to you.
Remembered when I was in Metana. Around 9pm to 12 pm there will be lots of girls around with phones plastered to their ears. Some speaking softly. Some gesturing wildly (yours truly). Many of us have our own favorite spots. The quiet one went under the stairs. The noisier walking around in front of the hostel. The more disturbing one sitting in front the view of our very own hostel lake (lombong).

- Most peoples are using the same models.
At that time, 3210 and the banana phone or the 3310 are the most commons. The only thing differentiating the phones are for the cover of the phones. Some are just plain red, grey, or blue. Some have cartoon pictures. Some have naked chicks on em.


Now is the time where handphone is the norms that even my 6 year old cousins have one.

- Anonymous / Unimportant call is unwelcome
No more jumping up and down when your phone ringing. No more rushing through at the speed of bullet. If it rings, so be it. Some call had been marked as "Ignore" or "That jackass". Only call that is to say "Going out or not?" is acceptable to my ears.. Wait. On 2nd thought, I don't think so. Only some peoples. Some random peoples calling up playing prank or joke on you is being received depending on moods. You can be damn sure most of the time that the mood aint sun and shine.

- Any SMS was treated immediately. Some. I guess
Okay. SMS like: "Jadi ke tak, ni", "Are you at home, I'm on my way," will be treated immediately. Some random SMS on some thoughts of Friendship? You do not give me any personalisation of your own words in that SMS, I would not consider to reply. I will just be secretly pleased inside. (Again I must stress for my own defense, for some peoples ).

At times when you got SMS, especially while you are shopping at juggling between your lemonade, handbags and your shopping bags.. you just call them back instead of replying. Faster. Easier to convey.

If your credit at your handphone had finished.... that is sooo rarely the case since well.. you rarely use your phone to call or sms what.


-You are always wondering that missed calls are from whom
That only happens now if you are unemployed or currently job huntings. If not , dismiss it. They will call you back if it is important.

- Missed Call meant that you miss them or a sign to contact me or kind like a game.
You do that to me now. You are sooooooooooo not getting a "Yes" to your "Do you want to go out with me?" questions.

And really... it is mind boggling enough to go through the grind of everyday life. But to 'tembak' each other thinking it now cute?

Please gentlemen, if you still doing it even after you had received a paycheck with a name and EPF of your own. Stop by the nearest hangout for high school girls and ask for their phone number. I wish you luck and all the happiness in the world.

- SMS was then always funny, jokelike, characters made to look like pictures showing that you *cough* care
See point above.


- People can't tear themselves away from their handphone.
Well.. this can still be the case. But not so much anyway. In UTP when I was in final year. I rarely find a girl lurking in any shadows or nooks or corners talking on the phone compare to when I was in Metana. Probably the IRC thingies had changed things I guess.


- Most peoples are using the different models different versions different covers
You named it. Samsung. LG. Nokia. Sony Ericson. Motorola. Heck, compare to then, the latest of all models is currently being owned by high school kids. Compared to my cikai phone ... their phone would lambasted the daylight out of mine.

No. 1

Okay. I won't promise if this will be an essay or not. I am pretty damn depressed. And typing this load of shit is guarantee to make me a whole lot sadder, more depressed and increase hallucination on suicidal thoughts. I am armed with a whole lot of really depressing shits from our great musician. I hence come armed, baby.

The King And I
No. Its not about stupid Anna and the Thai King. I meant come one, that is one lousy woman who do not know a thing about culture, busying' herself poking into somebody else business I guess. Probably was too bored teaching lazy ass royalties. Ok Ok.. I compose.

Everyday to get back to the castle up on the hill, he (his driver to be more exact) had to drive along the rows and rows of houses that is built on a grand scale. Perhaps to match the great castle in the backgroud?

"Commoners," he thought. He barely look outside from the car windows. The same scenery , same houses everyday.

He caught a glimpse. She was walking toward a house. Not the grand houses. A small picturesque little house.

Everyday for a month. He makes a point to look at that particular house. Sometimes he saw her. Sometimes he went home disappointed. What he sees so far, he like.

This went on. Day by day, the desire to see her come stronger and stronger. His mind is made up. He called his trusted assistants into his confidence. They know him well enough not to be surprise. They nodded indicating they understand.

ten next day, the little house received their grand visitors and the surprise of their life. The assistants make the wishes of their master known. The inhabitants of the house agrees. Some rejoiced.

The girl was called. She listened at first in great disbelief. Then doubts. The women's was calling her the luckiest woman in the country. She looked at the face of the men around her. Grim faces. She could not understand it. The impassive looks of the King's men frightened her even more. Her father take her arm, away in a corner, spoke slowly to her, away from everybody else. She looked into his eyes. His words are speaking something else, his eyes are telling her another. She just smiled weakly and nodded her head.

The other women take her away. Haste is important. The King's request is secrecy and the matters done quickly.

The wedding day came just a few days after the life changing event of the girl. It was a simple ceremony. They were wedded.

Night came when the husband meet her wife. Her heart was pounding fast. She could feel her head whirring. The King look at her in satisfaction. She is beautiful. Looking into her big round eyes, he never would have guessed that she was frightened out of her life. He came closer, she closed her eyes.

When she woke up the next morning, her bed is empty. She let out a sigh of relief. She let her eyes closed for a moment. Emptying her mind. She opened it up slowly. Half dragging her feet, she makes her way to the mirrors table. Never had she more hated the sight of herself than this morning.

Her eyes caught something on the table. A sob threaten to make a way out but she choked it back. Hands trembling she scanned the words on the paper.

A divorce statement.

Everything make sense to her now. She was nothing more than another pawn in a cruel game.

Bitter Pill

Few days back a long lost IRC friend somehow got hold of my Friendster and contacted me. I was exposed~~

We used to chat around the time when I was in Form 5. Then I became an addicts. I meant addicted to Internet. Nowadays? Not so much now since I have to put myself as Away in almost all my Instant Messenger programs since I am too lazy to reply to some messages or I just plain do not like the user.

We got to talking and I was surprised to find out that how many chatters that I still keep in contact with from my Form 5 days~ Since back in those days we love to pair each others off and almost everyone is with someone we know. I should say was. But some of them still stay together after all these fickle years.

He was asking me questions regarding the lovelike state of my life now, I guess some of my remark put him to this question:

"You had been dissapointed in love?"

And hey... I did not make apparent remark like "Men sucks" or "Love is only a chemical reaction trigger by lust".

I just laughed (if you can described this :D as a laugh) and replied.

"You are asking a question which everybody would reply "Yes" to ."

It is just a known fact that it do not required any explanations. Any type of love from all kinds of peoples of all different walks of life , we will learn this lesson.

'Tis a bitter pill for everyone to swallow.

It makes me wanna compose 5 tragic (or somewhat tragic love stories). Let me see if I have the time and energy to do it. Try to guess which is true.

Eid

Tajuk di atas saja yang English. Tapi terasa macam nak berbelog lagi dalam Bahasa Melayu. Mungkin sebab terasa sentiment tu macam kena aje untuk Raya.

Malas la nak menaip panjang-panjang. Tengah kenyang. Baru lepas makan lemang. Lemang tipu bak kate abang ipar. Dalam bukan main lawa lagi, takde kesan macam kena bakar. Terletak je lemang tu, setakat asap tepi jalan je lebih. Sekadar hiasan agaknye. Ye la kan Malaysia pon baru je diwarwarkan antara pengeksport Uncle Ho yang terhebat. Alang- alang musim raya, lemang ketupat pon kalau boleh nak di'lanun'kan sekali.

Selalu cakap tak seronok dulu-dulu masa raya. Orang-orang tua cakap raya ni untuk budak-budak. Yang dah dewasa pening kepala sebab poket dah kering. Tahun ni lain pulak rasenye. Sebab tahun ni dah kena mula bagi duit-duit raya pada sedara mara.

Orang kata tak best la kan sebab dah tak dapat duit raya. Macam mana pun, ade jugak la rase seronok. Pertama kali nak memberi duit kononnye. Rase macam best je duk masuk-masukkan duit dalam sampul raya nak kasi untuk kanak- kanak comel dan adik- adik yang greedy. Selalunye Kak Watie die ni kedekut sangat-sangat kan. Haaa, time ni la nak 'pau'. Adik- adik mintak RM 100 paling kurang. Berangan la die orang. Tapi kesian la jugak pikirkan adik-adik laki yang kuat makan ni, kasi la lagi banyak dari yang die orang patut dapat. Bukan banyak sangat pon adik. Ade 2 orang je. Nasib baik la sedara mara / anak sedara pon tak ramai. Rasa macam kelakar la pulak nak kena bagi kat kazen mazen yang lebih kurang sama je umur. Dulu-dulu sama-sama pegi ke rumah sana sini mintak duit raya. Ni kena bagi duit raya kat die orang laks! Yang ade sorang kazen kecik ni tetiba tanye

" Kak Watie dah kahwin ke?"

Blur sats kena tanye soalan camtuh. Agak biasa la soalan tu dilontarkan sejak 2 menjak dah keje ni kan. Dasar budaya timur = Lumrah alam. Tapi masa terberhenti jugak la seketika bila kazen yg kecik pon tanye camtuh. Rupa-rupanye die konfius sebab setahu die orang dah kahwin je kasi duit. Mak die Chinese dan die memang rapat ngan 'KongKong' , so tersilap sangka la sebentar. Hai.. walau camne pon, memang tak best betul la kena letak dalam kategori tu sengaja tak sengaja pon. Saya masih muda ~ cewah!

Raya ni tak best satu je. BANYAKNYE MAKAN... MACAM MANA NAK KURUS NI!!

101th Post

Is it?

That what it says for my blogger dashboard. It is my 101th post. It makes me think, had I gone far?

Not as far I like. My readers are somewhat the same. Yes you. But they are new readers too. New friends. Then also some new interesting read. So I guess it is far enough eh..

I mean it is interesting this blogging world. You get so many different type of peoples blogging. Some are like me... have no direction whatsoever. Some are just rant. Some are like stories books that you wish you can just read chapter by chapter and you wish that the next chapter are available whenever you like.

You get people hurling insult at each other. Some petty disagreement. Some had clans with each other. Its kinda like, blogging had almost replace IRC war. You know IRC? The thing where you need to join channel and chat about senseless stuffs or flirt with someone. Well, it kinda hard to flirt with someone at blogging world. You need to be pretty creative. There is no lame script for you to create flowerlike characters or something like /me (putownnickhere) give (putsomeoneyoulikenickhere) a bunch of flowers /MARS bar/diamond symbol thingies... Maybe you need to create something like a poem. But I can almost sure any hard hearted girl will think it is cheesy and corny. Maybe.. ::IDEA:: dedicate a post to her.. How soft her hair looks, how her eyes sparkled like the star, how you like to hear her laugh but of course that it is even dreadful'er' and even more corny. She might think you are a stalker and put in restraining order for you to not be anywhere near her 10 feet. Now IRC is much more simpler eh.

There's nothing in IRC any more for full grown kids. When I went into IRC, it is just full of hormonal school boys trying to flirt. Its either that or the #klsex frequenters that using some really disgusting nick that makes us wonder if they got what they're looking for when going into the IRC . In our time the ever lasting tiring popular opening mark was a/s/l plzzzz. Now it is as my friend Seri told me "Do you have fs?".

What hell is fs? Friendster. It seems Friendster had replaced a/s/l. Ohh.. The indignity of it. No more telling peoples 18/f/kl. Now we have Friendster to even make it easier to tell us what movies we like, what kinda thing interest us, and the most important thing 'ARE YOU SINGLE?'. I think this must had been the real purpose.

Remember when you are in IRC, its kinda difficult to ask a person if they are single. I mean, do you wanna ask. But what if the person think you are interested in them? When in fact you don't but well.. you do like them and it would be nice if they are single. But still, how can we know. Something in the line of that lar. Therefore what better solution than Friendster. You know how Friendster is like. Most you have one I believe. And as the truth universally known, if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend who have a little jealousy streak in them, and if you put 'Single'. The boldness of it!! But hell hath no fury like a women scorn (for men out there) and for the ladies, you can be sure you boyfriends would not feel very much incline to cater to your every nonsensical whim much less wining and dining at your favorite restaurant. Perhaps even seeking other 'Single' status friendster member.

Seri informed us that if you do not have fs its like you are the scum of the society, the low life, the one in school who always wear raggedy clothes and shoes with holes. Too far. But they would immediately lose interest. Probably the thing going on their mind, 'What? You do not have Friendster?, what kinda loser are you? Greenhorn at the Internet scene huh? ' Ahh.. how things changed. Even IRC!

So there it is we blog. We flamed each other much like forum. Have something like declaring war... no nuking or things like that la in IRC but some do hijack other blog and 'mess it up good'. ( I like that phrase - manga like English) . Some just flame the comment. And as in IRC we have this pesky bot or things like that advertising their channel, the same can be said for bloggy.

There it is.

Blog, the IRC of the full grown kids. Live up or join Friendster and advertise yourself.

G 7 Ch 9

Oh.. Just let me squeal like a little girl!

It just so delicious. Even though it is manga.. no moving thingies.. no flesh and blood. Does it make it any more lesser? No...

Sheessh.. the latest scanslated Gokusen 7 ch9.. is sooo what ar.... die hard fans wants it to be! Yups2. Love it when Shin so called confessed. But kinda like a shocker for it to be brought up so suddenly. But I kinda feel like I would be in for another surprise.

The Live Action is cool with Nakama Yukie, the anime had been licensed (ehem.. clear throat), but the manga is so nice and not so morally inclined whut. No hentai (or I wouldn't be reading it, you pervs), simple drawing, funny, joke not over the top.

My kind of things eh..

From the east side to the smell of the Javanese beans.

What is it? Sh! Sh!

Its all so quiet.. Shh.. Shh~~ Damn. I hate Bjork. Her song irritate the hell out of me.

Oh no. I am still in my obsession. Yeah.. I am now downloading mostly jdo! But not just any jdo. Looking for those that starred Nakama Yukie. Really like her a lot. Like her acting so far. She got spunk and beauty. Kinda like the Japanese version of Angelina Jolie (less oooozziinng of sex appeal, more on cuteness).

My friend at school remarked once that I seems to like and adore female actress and hum songs sang by female singers. Kinda like unconciously feministic in a lesbian sorta way.

Anyway, on Nakama Yukie. I like her in Gokusen and like her so much that I want to see more of her. I had seen Trick once. Not my cup of tea. I found it hard to understand, understandably so since it deals a lot of folklore and myth in Japan. So I seen a few, gave it altogether since I found myself trying to figure it out too much rather than enjoying it.

Had also bought myself a new J-Do. Being rather 'membazir' eh... well, its either that or a new suede green handbag. Since my bed post can no longer hold any of my rather increasing number of handbags, I choose to leave the handbag. I had set myself on a higher purpose. A red Elle bag that is really.. everything I almost dream of.

So yeah about the JDo. Guess what is it? Another Nakama Yukie. This time it is Face; about someone who fall for a guy with a split personality disorder (ain't we all..). Had not seen much Nakama Yukie acting in a more humanly realistic part, so it gonna be interesting. Am also trying to download G@me from eMule. The progress so far is snail-like. The application is appropriately named. I have difficulties finding the torrents. So hope this would be OK.

A note to myself. I had single handedly managed to down an espresso. Well.. I cheated a bit, I ordered espresso with coco. So I manage not to puke. I am not much of a coffee drinker, never am and never can be. Coffee make me feel light headed and silly and later on I will have headache, stomache and all kinda ache.

I used to bought the Red (Regular) 3 in 1 Nescafe when I was in UTP. My friends looked at me in bewilderment, that when I opened a packet, I will only used half of the packet, carefully folded half of the packet and tuck it with a paper clip, and stored it inside my drawers. The next day ; Voila!, I would just use the remaining packet to make another mug of coffee.

Is the taste watery? Yeah. But funnily enough, thats the way I like it. Pity the man who have to marry me and love coffee. His wife couldn't even make a 3-1 instant coffee to save her life. And thats what I like most for all of my drinks. My mom used to lament to me saying ...

"I think you must had take after your father's mother. She is always skimming on food. WE are not that poor you know!"

Now.. do not tell me I can't save!

I can't abide coffee much. One drink of it in the early morning can make me very very sick for the whole day (swaying dangerously and giddily talking to anybody). However, I love the smell of it. I like walking next to those cafe or coffee shops and smell their brewed coffee ( I do not say freshly , I doubt anything is in KL). Even though drinking coffee can't wake me up, the smell of it are refreshing. The taste of coffee make me wanna vomit. The smell of coffee make me feel crisp, awake, clears the mind... and one of my remedies if I feel like puking. You can find me ordering a coffee just for the smell of it and ordering something else to quench my thirst.

I am a bunch of contradictions.

My Couch Potato Favorite - Sky High

Yesh. Weird. Its Ramadhan now. Time flew so fast. Last time when it was Ramadhan I didn't know what sleep is since I will wait until sahur then go out with my friends to eat our fill. Now? Eating.. I am more concerned in sleeping. But nah.. this post won't be about Ramadhan.




Its about Sky High! Yeay. Finally watch the movie. I know its a silly harmless movie, but since I don't feel like watching any dramatic or heavy movie at the moment, I will opt for fun fun movie that make me laugh. And yeah... it does. Its an overall cheesy feel good movie. But not cheesy enough to be stale and distasteful. Cheesy that melt in your mouth and feel nice chewing on it.

Summary:
Its about a bunch of kids who have superpower attended a school where.. well to hone their superpower skills. At first when I saw the trailer I was about to compare it to Volcano High, but since Volcano High is rather forgettable and can't remember or understand it, so I just gave up comparing em because its like comparing apples to oranges. Completely different. Volcano High more dark and a bit heavy, Sky High is specially made to appeal to little kids (like me, me!).

The storyline revolved around Will, whom attended this hi-school. His parents is one of the most popular, strongest and capable of all superheroes. So people looked up to them and expected the same potential for Will. However , he have zilch superpower without his parent realization (thats weird to me). So he had to be put in the class for sidekicks which in another word, the loser class in Sky High. And he's in there with a buncha of his sidekick friends who have pretty weird superpower too. The rest of it are pretty high schoolish thing - cool guys vs loser guys, gals like boys that like someone else, popular kids, who asking whom to the school prom, arch enemy throwing great balls of fire at you.

What I found hilarious is where the cut the class to sidekick and superheroes. I didn't realize sidekick need classes too. Their lesson is interesting too...

" If your hero is going to be attack by a zombie, what would you give him?
a) an arrow
b) a gun
c).. some other weapon.. (I forgot)

Another instance on a lesson on how to change your wardrobe quickly into your superheroes garb. Thats the the one that always bugged me. I know Superman have supersonic speed and all so he can change his wardrobe quickly, but Batman, Spiderman, ?? It must take tonne of time to put tight fitting clothes to fit in.

The actors and actresses and great too. You get a some familiar faces like Kurt Russell and Kelly Preston. Their costume is a bit weird. Like it had been made of rubber. It makes me think of my niece little princess Barbies that I played with. But Kurt Russell looks really old. Kelly Preston of course hot .. but still looked somewhat fortyish. Yet fortyish who is hot. That , is hot!

Anyway its like I said its a fun filled movie. I wouldn't mind watching it again !!

P/S: It would be fun huh to imagine what kinda superpower you wish you have? It would be so cool to shapeshift into any person, object or size. Imagine being slimmer and can fit into all kind of clothes!

Forgiven?

I slept late last night. Common if you are feeling restless. Look at the post below.

Anyway, I dreamt. Common occurences. Yet, I dreamt that he was explaining or (soothing?). It felt so real for a moment. Well at first. Then the dream proceed about all the gift wrap thingies and letters thingies that he gave, and straight away I knew even when I was dreaming that it is a dream. It is just NOT his thing.

Oh, I do not kid myself that perhaps the dream will come true since after that I also dreamt of some cannibalistic vampires disguised as airport workers roaming around in an airport and I killed them all with some weird aluminium weapon.

Yet, after I woke up. I was feeling at peace again. I am not angry anymore. I felt like somehow that dream itself had done its magic or cure. Lucky guy. He wouldn't even have to do anything and let my subsconcious self do all the things.

Why I was angry? It do not matter anymore. Since me being me, of course would just let it go then. But I know .... somehow this wouldn't be the end of it. Because somehow between the both of us this is almost like a game. I can't put a name to it. He wouldn't think so. I know. He's the more sensible one. I am never sensible if I can help it. So, I am sorry. Now... I am almost making sense now isnt it?

Rant. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. @$*@@#%#

Now, whut the hell? I stay silent you accused me of being out of it ? I speak, you fobbed me off and wanting me to shut up? What the hell is wrong? Make up your mind already. Either you be civil to another person or get them out of your face. I speak here because it seems this is the only medium some peoples will hear. Fine.

Then.. I am tired. I am really tired. Please, just marry me off to an old fob. Then he died early, I get his house and I can spend the rest of my days making voodoo dolls and throw darts at em.

Suffer the lil children. Muahahhaha.

Note:
Commenting is off for this post. Don't look for it.

Another Note:
Uuuuu.... blogging is good for anger management. Yeps yeps. Good activities. Make people stay out of prison.

Secret Seven?

Me me.. all me. I had been tagged by El. Thanks El, since I had run out of idea to blog ever since I am in 7th Heaven with my obsession. Right. Anyhow.. here it goes.

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. Volunteer work
2. Go to Pompeii
3. Have mindless sex. No? Ok. Change that to getting married.
4. Watch Phantom of The Opera or Chicago, live! (That meant the grand ol stage baby!)
5. Learn back all my lost musical skills
6. Pay back my loans!
7. Look him at the eye at least once.

Seven things I could do ( I do not quite understand this part):
1. Give more to charities , not own clothes welfare
2. Slim down more. OK. That is impossible. I change it to buy more expensive clothes!
3. Buy Chronicles of Narnia and finish it before the movie come out in December.
4. Buy new handphone.
5. Sleep less. Dream more.
6. Go out with more peoples.
7. Go to Langkawi with my friends!

Seven celebrity crushes:
1. Matsumoto Jun :: heart skip more than a beat I assure you ::
2. Fujiki Naohito :: swoon ::
3. Matthew McConaughey
4. Ashton Kutcher
5. Ryan Reynolds
6. Ewan McGregor
7. Angelina Jolie ( I know, I know.. but who wouldnt eh?)


Seven often repeated words:
1. Ape?
2. Whut?
3. Huh?
4. Hahahhaha
5. Hurmph
6. Eeeeeeewk~
7. .......................

Seven physical traits I look for in the opposite sex :
1. Tall
2. A bit fair
3. Nicely built shoulder
4. Gorgeous soft hair. Not too slick, just enough that I can rumple.
5. Strong looking hand
6. That little smile
7. The half smiling eyes

Seven tags go to ( OK, I dont think I have enough to go around.. so I tag 3 since thats my fav no!):
1. Kran
2. Taqi
3. Shima

Hey, I thought it was a breeze. But it can be quite hard when you sit down and really thought.. what a woman really want?

Obsess

Its been a while. I have been obsessed with gathering back all Gokusen manga, anime and drama. Right now I have started on drama and manga. But not yet the anime. It is quite hard to find since it is licensed I think.

No matter. I will continue on. Now this will probably go on for a while. Since when I am in my obsession rampage, nothing much will comes into my mind. Quite a good thing considering my past obsession is bad for my health and sanity.

I was also busy in gathering back all my lost files. My harddisk was corrupted. All 80g of its. Pitiful. I lost all my mp3, my series and movies. Some of it I have yet to see. I especially felt the loss is my Buffy series on season 1 and 2. It was a fun season back then. Ridiculous laughable. And my Kill Bill and Resident Evil dvd-ripped too. Damn. I was gonna watch that again. And all my sex and the city season!!! Lament.. lament. How very bad. This should teach me a lesson to burn all my beloved season. But it is ever so tiring. And take so long. When I was in UTP, I do not have much time for it. Much less when I am working now.

And my mp3 files. Some of its are irreplaceable. I was also beside myself since I thought I had lost Ken Hirai Rakuen. Then I remembered that I had burn some of my mp3. All was not lost. Phew~ I am only trying to find back all mp3. Not all of them was lost thanks to the CD and my laziness to move the mp3 files from the IRC folder to the designated one. The series and movies will take so much time and money. I have to do without em.

But I will search for more series nonetheless. Ahead with my obsession now.

Gokusen 2

I had finished watching Gokusen 2. Can't. Get. Enough.

Now.. I really hate it to end because I miss Sawada Shin.. since I want Gokusen 3 to come out with Sawada Shin coming back too! The guys in Gokusen 2 was cool and more handsome! But still not the same as Sawada.

And now I need to work and work required around the clock concentration and no more being a dreamer-lazy-student, I have to snap myself out of reverie from revising back all the Gokusen drama series and fantasies that I would be able to see Sawada again.

And really really hope....will have Gokusen 3 with Sawada and Yankumi together geder.

::Update::

From
http://www.idolthoughts.com/idol/index.php

Gokusen 2 Special

For some time now there has been rumours of a Gokusen 2 Special.. Well my dear Gokusen 2 fans... A special has been set to air on October 8th from 9:00pm to 11:30pm on NTV..According to Kame's JWeb post.. the cast of Gokusen 2 met on August 29th to film a student reunion.

It should never end!

Single and Unavailable

People are confused with the status of my socialness. Am I single? Yet why did I kept on seeing my ex?

I really hate talking about this. Because no matter how hard I try to explain it, peoples can't seems to make head nor tails about. I chose being single not because I want to see other peoples. I want to be free within myself. I do not have to answer to anyone on why did I do that. I don't have to invent a reason why I need to go out with other peoples.

The most confusing part about all these are.... I myself now do not want to meet other peoples. If peoples show an interest on me, I would feel almost... despise for them. And I do not want to feel that. And if the peoples who are interested, are interesting and I liked them, then after a while I just lost the feeling. The euphoria only lasted for a while. Then it felt the same. Humdrum.

I myself are not searching for any reason. And when peoples start questioning or gossiping... in the end I just could not care less. In the end, I myself would choose. Not them. They would not do anything but look. You might think what you want, but you do not know the beginning of it why I chose that choice. And I just let you think what you want because I know you never are interested in explanations. Yes, you. So let me choose in my own way, my own time and my own man. It can be anyone, but I kinda hope Orlando Bloom will be in the picture. Hahaha.

Its the little things that hurt!

Recently there had been a little excitement over the blogosphere of Malaysians and Singaporeans. I am of course just an observer.It is quite bewildering to see people hurl insults at each other and I have to say almost entertaining. I am riveted to my seat. Nothing grabs people attention like a little catfight here and there.

But not to make light of the situation, some of em does hurt. Perhaps it hurt our sensibilities, or even our sense. And the saying "Stick and stones can hurt me and words don't" are bullshit. Tell that to the multitude of unattractive peoples all around the world who have to bear the brunt of name calling such as Chubby Flabby or Wart Face. Worse still if people hurl insults to something you care about. Our beliefs, our pride, our family, our friends.

Some people proclaimed themselves as being fair and unbiased and take painstaking efforts to try to relate that image. Deep down, that biasness that had been seeded and growed upon by the peoples around us are bound to surface.

What I find interesting, some peoples try to be self righteous on their own blog but when it came to commenting on what some people might posted then you can see that biasness through and through. It does not take 1 essay to actually hurt. Only 1 thoughtless sentence from an obviously harmless comment can show what you are, sometimes. I say sometimes.. because I am painstakingly try to relate an image saying that you cannot truly know a person just from their opinion, sometimes!

People Must Be Regulated

You think? Our management in the office had blocked our access to all forms of webmail. In short, anything with the words mail in it, it is blocked.

I think this is to improve.. productivity. Right. Probably we did pore over the yahoo/gmail/hotmail. But really, if a customer was yelling to you demanding why their software is slow/crash/not working when most probably their computer is crap anyway, what we are going to do?. But of course we can't say that. No, we have to grin and bear and just read crap email titled "Life is Beautiful". Usually I rarely on a email frenzy , unless the customer have an exceptional slow computer when it restarted. Or the blissful time when there are no calls.

The service level is low now. Perhaps. Maybe it is due to the overwhelming call or being exhausted being the last to know whatever in the McAfee scene and have to bear the front end attack of it.

Many of my colleagues are understandably enraged. We depends on these entertainment to help us through very bad times. And some very crucial information, I got it from emails too! My friends suddenly wanted to go out. We planned it through emails. I will be yet again even more unsociable.

It is bad, yeps! But the thing is.. people will still be unproductive if there are reason to be. Even in some dingy offices that have no internet connection, people will find a way to be unproductive even if it is hard to be.

In all, I am used to it. Because easy. We are after all IT peoples. We can always find other ways to go around the problems. Probably not getting to the yahoo mail. But other alternatives.

With my modem still unreplace, this is going to be a very long week!

Lightning Crashes

Got back from work around 10p.m yesterday. Was just about to go into the house and noticed my sister's fiance car blocking the gate. Great. No worries. Park on the side for a moment then. Notice my friend car in the house and the house is lighted up. Weird. It is 10 pm. Usually by this time the house is still quiet.

Went inside. Was met by my sister. She looks mildly anxious. And my friend so willingly do my bidding to park the car inside too. The alarm goes off my head. My sis said:

"Bad news..."

In my head went a thousand possibilities. Someone died? Mom? Grandma? Someone in an accident? Someone lose a job? The house burnt down? Wait. I am in the house. Pretty incredible what a mind can conceived in a matter of half a second. My sister's continued.

"There was a storm. Your computer had been struck. I think its the modem, but the computer is gone too.. "

She looks at me like I was gonna lose my head and ran out screaming. My friend is also now looking at me anxiously. I quickly made my way upstairs. And seen my sister's fiance is taking out all my computer 'insides'... (*tsk.. *tsk).

"How bad is the damage?" , Me saying lor
"Can't say.. have to look a bit further.."

My sister is entreating me to eat first. Hermm.. Decided to humour myself by playing with my niece first and then eating later. My sister fiance's Abg Yin take out the RAM to test if it is still OK. So overall on the condition of my computer? I have no idea. Have to go to Low Yat then this Sunday.

It seems like my sisters were afraid I was freaking out. In truth.. I am not! I am a bummed out, yes. But still, there's nothing to be done about it. Unless my LCD monitor is gone too, then probably I will still be in my bed right now and sucking my thumb.

They were all so anxious and were hoping that I will just get to sleep after getting back from the work and maybe the computer will miraculously healed itself. Fat hope on both! I think they think after knowing my computer had 'rosak', I will fling myself out from the window. Do I look that computer-internet-addicted to you?

Btw.. this means less blogging activities!

Short and Small

Look what The Star have:

"There are now some 970,000 Perodua vehicles on the road. The Kancil model is the most popular with 400,000 units sold"

I could almost swear there are almost a million out there. Only 400,000? Weirdness. Definitely some conspiracy thingies going on here.

Just For Kicks

Contemplating.. everything else.

I felt like I am in a rut. Feel tired, slightly bored and no spirit for anything else. When I bought some new clothes, I was thinking. "What is this for?". Dress up to shop some more? It is like a vicious cycle.

I rarely go out now and socialize. All I ever felt like doing is sleeping and clicking. I felt no more in primping myself up and trying to look my best. However sometimes I do strain myself for it. Yet, it lack the lustre.

How can everybody else is happy and contented but I am not?

Every Lil Thing

It had come yet again when I am at loss on what to blog about. There are so many topics in the whole world. My feeling? My thoughts? My observation? As some peoples might say.. it is my damn blog and I can post whatever damn topic I want to. So let's... blog insensibly but in a clear manner. How? I will just outline the topic very clearly and ramble on.

Tiredness. (Clear aight?)
I received an email some weeks/days ago about a quiz asking 'Are You Depressed?". How do I score? I am very much depressed to the point of clinically depressed and are recommended to seek help. That is not good at all. I always received good quiz marks. The type that in Cleo.. the ranging from "Are You Knowledgeable in ..Ehem..?", "Are You Psycho?", "Are You Co-Dependent?"... I meant I always got the result saying along the line that I am normal and can live with other humans. I am dissapointed at my ability to answer mind boggling quiz now.

Wedding Card.
I just got back from Johor and lounging in the sofa. My sis and her fiance are laughing at a wedding card. She tossed it to me so that I can joined in. And I laughed too. Honestly, it is as bad as a wedding card goes. I had seen some really original and beautiful one, (a scroll and photo album..) but I rarely see an ugly one. Most people who lacks originality/budget/could not give a damn.. will just opted for a simple wedding card. But these couple, not only did they put their picture on it but the colors itself... bright red? The design looks some cheap Valentine card that Ocean or Jusco might sell. And the couple .The would be bride.. was so mercilessly poke fun at by us. Her make up, her ear and arr.. she looked 'manly' , even more so that the bridegroom hugging her in the picture. Now.. to not feel my own medicine.. I will not put my picture in my wedding card!

Books.
I went back to JB as I mentioned. Seen that my mom had decorated her built-in panelling thingies. With our pictures, some medals, her various collection of non-describable items. And to my delight, she had gotten out all of my books from my school years. Ohhh.. all those simple love stories I love to read (Boy Meet Girl, Invite for A Pizza, Kiss, Happy Forever ), my collection of L.M Montgomery/Enid Blyton ( did I mentioned I am sucker for young adults/children classic books.. even till now!), my R.L Stine/ Christopher Pike books/Nancy Drew series (my primary schoolish reading materials).
And this one book. I remembered when I was in standard 2. My dad bought me a book, about a girl discovering herself. It is all about first love , first sex and pregnancy. I don't think so my dad know the content though, I think he just pick it up. Now.. a standard 2 girl reading about that? I did finished it. Only that it didnt make much sense then. I read it again when I was in secondary.. then I think I might understand. But still the book is deep... and frightening. I cant remember the title of the book now nor the author. Its not popular or anything. Just something to ponder about.
And I am still continuously reading and buying books. I have to buy a really large bookcase when I got a house of my own. Right now am reading Michael Crichton, Airframe. My thoughts on it.. not my cup of tea. Too much engineering jargon. Peoples know I hate engineering jargon and stuffs. How the hell did I kept on entangling myself with engineering peoples... I have to blame UTP for that.

Kolej Matrikulasi Melaka
Before heading to KL. Hantar my brother there. Pitiful state of place. The padang is not grassy, but filled with 'kemuncup', (I have no idea what the English name are). The hostel looks like something of a flat in a Hong Kong slums. How different compared to the UITM that is near it. Yet, I know the students there must have love their place to bits even though they may not felt like it the first few months. How well did I know the feeling!

****
I had edited something. I had not posted it. More like write it then delete it. Feeling angry to self is evaporated. Knowing it does me no good. Reading it again brings fresh stabs of pain... yet I just want to convince myself... It is not a dream. It must had not been one. Because dreams come true. So I will put the topic as.... Stupid Lil Me. Hurray... for whatever. I can opt to cheer myself since it is my bloody damn blog (sarcasm and pun intended).

So that's that.

Tanggal 31... Bulan 8 ....57.. Merdeka.. Merdeka..

Alamak.. Saya akan cuba berbelog dalam Bahasa Melayu, kerana saya cuba mengikuti Kempen Vincent Mari Berbelog Dalam BM. Saya tidak ade 'banner' sebab malas laa nak upload. Alaa.. macam skema je ayat. Tapi tidak mengapa.. akan ku cuba jua.. cewah!

Rase pelik bila cuba nak menaip dalam BM. Mungkin sebab dah biasa hidup 5 6 tahun, menaip report, exam dan sebagainya dalam English. Bila tiba BM.. waduh.... Dalam kepala pon secara otomatik akan terpikir ayat English untuk menaip. Oleh dengan itu, saya pon menaip perlahan aje.

Nak kata segan menaip dalam Bahasa Melayu.. tak jugak.. sebab bahasa percakapan hari-hari memanglah Bahasa Melayu.. siap ade 'slang' Klate, Kedah, Nogori jugak daku masukkan. Tapi hendak buat camner, bile tiba menaip dan membaca , lagi selesa dalam English. Mungkin sebab tu lah kebanyakkan pelajar Melayu ada masalah nak 'spikang' English tapi report A OK aje.

Berbalik kepada topik di atas. Lagu Sudirman tu. Antara lagu-lagu patriotik yang paling digemarilah. Fikir balik... tak jugak. Rasanya.. hanya itulah lagu patriotik yang diminati kecuali Negaraku la kan. Masa-masa zaman sekolah dulu... bile tiba 31 Ogos, mesti lagu itulah yang dinyanyikan (lebih kepada menjerit la sebenarnya). Siap lompat-lompat atas bangku lagi dulu sambil lambai-lambai bendera Malaysia bagai nak rak. Nasib baik zaman tu kurus lagi. Kalau tak .. tak lamalah hayat bangku tu.

Dulu paling seronok sambut merdeka.. zaman sekolah. Biasalah kan.. agenda sekolah hendak menaikkan semangat patriotik di kalangan pelajar sebelum kita semua membesar jadi orang yg sombong dan bongkak dan tak ingat dulu masa kecik makan nasik dan budu/tempoyak/tempe/ulam. Banyak je aktiviti pertandingan menulis sajak, syair, pantun kemerdekaan. Takdelah pulak saya sibuk-sibuk nak masuk skali , tapi seronok juga tengok orang lain bertanding. Kemudian paling saya suka lakonan drama la. Seronok tengok kawan-kawan ini pakai baju ngarut-ngarut berlakon ala-ala drama swasta TV1. Lagi seronok kalau join sekali. Tak kisahlah jadi AJK ke, tuan direktor ke, ekstra yang jadi tukang sapu sampah ke.

Masa duduk asrama dulu pon.. lagilah seronok. Boleh tidur lepas pukul sebelas.. (macam lah tak biasa....curi-curi phone) bile jam tunjuk detik pukul 12.00 tengah malam aje..bergemalah Dewan Sekolah Sains Kota Tinggi tu.. Merdeka! Merdeka! Mungkin zaman umur-umur 16 17 tahun kita tidak berapa faham erti patriotik... tapi seronok ape! Lompat-lompat sana sini, lari-lari (arrr.. betul ke aku lari-lari dengan baju kurung ni kat asrama) .. jerit-jerit. Lepas tu hamik~ Kena hukum diri kat luar asrama dengan warden sebab warden suspek ade budak 'beromen' dekat dalam bilik jahitan. Warden tak sempat nak tangkap almaklumlah.. badan gempal-gempal belaka...

Sebenar-benarnye.. memang ade budak dalam bilik jahitan tu. Tapi kedua-duanya perempuan. Die orang malas aje nak masuk dewan so duduk lah kat bilik jahitan tu. Sebab salah seorangnye rambut pendek, sorang lagi rambut panjang..warden pon terus la pikir ke arah tu. Haihh.. warden-warden ni asik pikir serong je tak habis-habis. Tapi sebab die orang tak nak mengaku. Satu blok asrama tu la kena. Punye la dah biasa kena hukum ngan warden.. so satu asrama selamba je la tidur kat luar sekejab. Macam mana saya boleh tahu perkara sebenar? Sebab budak-budak yandg dalam bilik jahitan itu adalah adik-adik junior kesayangan saya yang sama dorm. Sebab nak protect nama dorm la jugak (nama dorm sudah banyak kali tercemar atas perbuatan-perbuatan kami yang rasional), kemudian sebab bukannya besar sangat salah pon, saya cakap tak apalah. Die orang cerita pon bila dah lepas, malas la nak memanjangkan episod. Nanti tak pasal-pasal kena hukum balik. Warden-warden punya hukuman kadang-kadang tak masuk akal jugak.

Kelakar kan fikir balik semua kisah-kisah lama ini. Terutamanya zaman sekolah. Namun memang tak boleh dinafikan memang seronok sambut merdeka zaman sekolah ini. Ape orang cakap ...'terasa'. Sekarang ini kalo nak rasa balik semangat, keseronokan macam itu dulu untuk Hari Merdeka ini, kena lah cari dalam diri sendiri.

Receiving the Scroll - Day 4

Continuing.. I am becoming rather bored. Anyhow.. stay committed dila!

I was way tired when waking up for the Convocation Days... so I woke up with eyes looking rather 'panda'-ish. And I have no moods to put on make up or concealer.. so just what the heck. Let today's good mood replace my 'panda'-ish looking eyes. Instead of wearing very pwitty dwess, I just opted for a simple baju kurung so it is easier for us to wait in the heat.

Thought that we were suppose to go by car and park somewhere near where we were suppose to wait. Then before we can drive out from the hostel area the Pak Guard, was guarding the way out! He asked us to park near the Duyung hostel and walked to the Chancellor Hall. We are all hungry, bleary eyed and still sluggish. But unless we ram down the Pak Guard ( ooohh.. temptationss..) , so we need to park our car and walked with our heavy garb all the way to Pocket D.

When we got there, my friends were now ravenous and they made their way to the so called cafe where they thought they had been informed there are breakfast. Alas, they are none! Some of em are pretty furious and said that if they knew.. we would had bought something to eat and drink. So we wait around the Pocket D ... thirsty,tired,numb. Some of em hot since some of them have to stand where the sun is shining.. wooo. We should be coming in at 9am, but we were suppose to stand around there around 7 am? Sheesh~ So all of us sat around some cross legged, some sat near the bench. Then it was time to go in. I have no idea but suddenly my mortar board (is it spelt right? who cares...), my hat la senang; keeps on wanting to slide from top of head. Stupid thing. Suddenly when we just start to go in, my head shrunk? I have no idea, but it kept on falling off!! It is way too late to do anything about it so .. walk like an Egyptian, I meant like a long ago ladies who practice to walk around with books on top of head.

Went into the hall, scan around to look for my mom. Fat hope with precarious hat on top of head. So we all then just slumped into our seat , looking through the convocation graduates list. It is an enjoyment to know who got First Class or 2nd Class, ... if the goody two shoes you always seen walking around with books and always looked frowningly at you manage to get First Class or are they just in the same class as I am.

The ceremony went quite fast. Without realizing they are calling out the names of the graduates. Since my number is 365... so..still waiting. But I was still busying myself trying to straighten my stupid hat thing. Some bloody girl knocked it off my head... and without apologizing. Ughhh..hate those type of peoples.. the one that bump into you and just charged straight ahead without mumbling sorry or anything like they have 'cirit-birit' or something.

Then it came the Business Information System turn.. uhh.. scared scared. Of course la sensible peoples will think there's nothing to be scared about. Walk, take scroll, smiled, said thank you, walk. Simple aight? But.. what if I had my heels suddenly snap? What if I suddenly falls flat into my face? What if I stumbled on some damn plants/carpet/Dr Mahathir feet? I was feeling giddy... (being starved can do that to me), walked happily to take my scroll, then I take my scroll. Everything was fine. Not! My damn hat is just starting to slip and almost fell down, I gingerly held it while whispering furiously at Dr Mahathir ..

"Dah nak jatuh..".(Its gonna fall off)

Life precious moment could not get more wrong than that. Argh.. Now I had ruined a photographic moment. Not only I am non-photogenic, I am also a failure to be photographic decently. (Lament.. lament). I cannot remembered much after that... some singing.. some speech about not making bribery a habit.. Then it almost came to an end by singing Negaraku anthem. When I was at school, I used to hate singing Negaraku. It is so slow. But when I left school, I missed it. And now singing it again it make me appreciate the schools and government effort to make us sing it again and again and again... it make me felt almost patriotic. (A correct sentiment for August, eh)

Ceremony over. Photography session start. Call my sis to look for my family, and when trying to look around, suddenly somebody call my name softly from behind. I started, then see a good friend was giving me back flowers. I still felt bad till today that I did not manage to get a picture with him or say anything... because I still can't find my family and I got no camera with me and I am in a hurry. Then managed to find my mom and my sis near the library, they were delighted that I got flowers since they didn't buy any. Typical. Nonetheless, my sis did said she tried. Later on manage to find my other sister's and her hubby. My mom was wanting to get a picture at the stage, so we went there in spite the annoucement they are closing the hall. Man... they are not that accommodating eh. Anyway.. snapped about hundreds of pictures and running around chasing my lil niece. So it was a nice day. With my sis camera and Abg Yin very big camera... I felt almost uncomfortable. And since I had paid for the family photo, I waste my day queuing (I can never spelt queue properly) for it. First I tried to wait in the air conditioned hall, but then the photographer was undeniably slow, so I just took a picture outside with my family. Hell, at least the lighting is good even though its hot. Therefore... I am not looking forward to any of my pictures at my graduation!!!

Then my sister, niece and her husband and my mom opted to go back early so that my niece wont throw a fuss. While my other sister Kak Lina and her fiance had to wait for me for ages while I pack. I pack quietly in own room.. trying hard to not feel that disappointed.. why? Oh I do not know.. tell me myself.

Then with shima, we packed our various thing and head back to KL. It felt sad to leave UTP. As Taqi said.. it is full of memories. But I will be coming back, at least for all my other friends who will be graduating next year.

Dinner - Day 3

Saturday

Official lazy day. Got back from 'mamaking' around 4am. And I woke up at 9am! What the heck! And it was raining in the morning. I love sleeping in the morning while it rains. But since I was feverish, bored ( no PC for me to chat with friends or sleepily slaps somebody in MIRC), I woke up to rouse my friends from sleep for some nasik lemak. In vain.. I might add since none of em wanted to get out from bed.

At last they got up from bed... but nearing lunchtime. Everybody was famished, but we decided to first go paid for our overpriced humongous picture frame. By the time they got to the convo fair our eyes is only on the "Nasi Ayam Madu"..(yum..yum... great favorite among us). The convo fair.. as far as I can see year by year.. is getting smaller and smaller. I think the best convofair I ever had was the one when it was held at the Padang UTP near the entrance, there a lot of more variety to choose from. Maybe it is a bit too muddy.. and all cars afterwards looking like a buffalo who had just happily been wallowing in mud.

Met again with Taqi, Asrol and Taymen and some guys/gals unknown to me. Had an enlightening yet unbelievable conversation with Taymen about me and stars in sync with each other. Nonetheless enjoyed the convofair. A great way to know who's going out with whom and to meet peoples too.

Then was ushered by Gon to go to Ipoh in order for us to give tomorrow invitation's ticket to our parents. Gon dropped me off at Hillcity where my family was staying. Hermm.. Hillcity seems a little smaller than what I had remembered. My niece is having a hell of a time. Going up and down the bed, opening every cabinets she could see, broke my bracelets to pieces... (*tsk *tsk). And I got to eat nasik lemak some more! Home made straight from KL. Yum Yum.. Damn.. I must be hungry when writing this post.

Anyhow.. my job is done. Ticket bearer needs to go back to run-down 'hotel' again to get ready for the convo dinner. Yeay! More food! I am among the first one to dress, but I am the last one getting finished getting ready. It was my first time wearing those darn tudung you know. The 'lilit-belit' one. After much pinning around here and there, I am successful... phewww... but then..

We got to the hall. Seen that all of us received door-gifts, goody. Moment of happiness is over by the time I stepped in the hall. There's no seat for us!!! We were finding it hard to get a seat.. that it does not matter that we were not sitting in a group, but just a grab a seat when we find one. After much 'tawaf'ing around the hall, and each and one of us are looking frustrated and I was seriously thinking to go out of the hall in a huff. Not helping when the usherers keeps on coming to us telling us to sit down at any available seats. But there is no any other damn seats in the hall.. when we had already asked oh so nicely. The last straw came when one of the usherers grudgingly sat us at the performer's table....( I am sorry for the performers..truly am, but a gal have got to eat when she got to eat) and one of the minah usherers came at us hissing saying

"If you were expecting to be sitting in a group , of course you can't find a seat".

She needs to thank her God for her lucky stars that I had lost my voice. I only managed to croak out (Oh.. how pitiful my protest are) that we had for God sake, try! I nearly lost my appetite.. nearly .. I say. Really.. it is quite bad to be sitting right at the back... but to be galled about it so much. Luckily my friends is more cheery and upbeat about the whole thing and put me out of my bad humour.

Later on I remembered my friends remarking to each other later on after dinner,

"Did you notice ***, she is so hot lor. Not the type of hot, I want to be.. but still.."

"Did you notice what she is wearing... can you believe that she actually wear that"

You know those type of remarks us girls will make. But I can't say I notice any of what my friends had noticed! I just sat glued to my sit and focus my attention to my food and friends and occasionally someone ( derisive laugh from inner me... occasionally kunun.). And I must say the starters.. is delicious. I am not a big fan of prawn before.. but this.. wow la weh. All the food is OK and by the time it got to dessert I was so full , I was unable to finish it.

The performance/dance/singing was great. The music is nice too... of course la kan since my friend was playing. Then it came to Dr. Mahathir speech. This is the moment I have been waiting for. It looked so unbelievable to see him with my own 2 eyes. And to hear him speaks. He does not speaks charismatically, but he do got charisma and it is something to hear him speak in live. And when he talk about how important it is for us to get a job satisfaction, it is true. No matter how high paying you are.. if you do not enjoy what you did day after day after day.... does all of it are worth it? However... thinking back again.. who gonna pay our bills eh?

When all of its are over... then everybody is clamouring to be photographed with everyone else. Me being not photogenic, without a camera... therefore just sat around.. sometimes taking other peoples pictures and laughing at other peoples behavior when taking pictures and join em when asked. After I had grown weary and my friends had scattered around, I went outside to receive a call.

Got my very first bouquet of flowers for graduation. Thanked the gift bearer.. did I say thanks? Thanks again!!! Things are looking up a bit and I felt a little cheered. I take back chocolate is better than flowers. It is not so much better because any flower is nice and sweet and lovely, but if someone gave me a chocolate and I do not like the chocolate ( I am a fussy chocolate eaters) .. well.. too bad eh....

Then we went to drive around UTP just to refresh our memories and see my old room. And when I got back... it so late, yet all my friends is out again. So I went to my room to rest my feverish and aching head. Bad idea. Called Syuk to woke Snubby up. They recognized the 'bad idea' thingies and asked some questions but received no answers. I downed some Milo O Panas to ease my sore throat and also down some Teh O Ais Limau (Syuk's drink). And they bring me back saying... "Now get some sleep!!"

Notes: Pictures will be added later on. Too malas already. Btw all pics are courtesy of Shima.

Rehearsal Day - Day 2

It is Thursday today. Hermmm.. only at this exact moment last week I was jumping up and down because I am going to UTP. How far back that moments are. Anyway.. continuing....

I woke up the next morning for the rehearsal with a sore throat and heavy eyes. My friends keeps on barging to our rooms and asking us to wake up. Quickly take a shower.. brrr... am pampered with showering with hot water every morning , it is almost refreshing to wake up with a cold shower. We quickly made our way to Pocket D (where it have all the lecture halls). The akak there is damn fierce. We were ushered around like a bunch of kiddies asking to go here and stand there. When they read out the name for IS students to line up, then I realized.. yippeee.... I am a 2nd class upper. Someone tell me I am paranoid because of course I am. But since who knows, if UTP might had upped the grading level... I am a lowly 2nd class upper. But who cares, at least I am in the same level as my sis.. hehe.

Then we went through the dress rehearsal. Sounds weird. Dress rehearsal. Not like we went out and in changing different dress. A wedding should call a dress rehearsal. But I dare say not so much anyway. Perhaps a Bollywood dance sequence rehearsal. Anyway.. all we need to do is just to sit around and watch a buncha peoples walk. How to walk properly, dress properly, dress our robes... We are all just put our graduation robes like a group of badly dressed darkly garb scarecrows.



After it had finished, we went to eat at V3 cafe since our last residential college cafe had changed. The kakaks and makciks there remembered us with fond memories! One of them remarked:

"Rasa macam dulu-dulu plaks" (Felt like old time)

Of course since we are among the first students living there! Anyhow.. I just ate a little and gone into my friend's room to just have a lil bit of UTP MIRC again. Alas, there's no one there ( no one I knew la...) A couple of person but thats all. I did not stay long since I was horribly feeling sick ; flu and fever at the same time. So on the way to my friend's car, notice my ex housemate and her beau.. Thank God she stopped.. since I was famished~

Getting back to the hostel, everybody is asleep. Me being in my natural habitat, felt wide awake even though my throat felt like somebody had pulled a rake through it. So we went and talks and planned for tonight events! Noo.. not dinner. That is tomorrow night. Girl's night out !

Went to ride with Kai and Lini(ex roommate) since I knew I would be hearing the latest gossip by going into that car. Hehe.. Kai commented on my newly required macholike manly voice. So as usual sitting in their car, I talk less and hear more. Got to Jaya Jusco Ipoh. Damn.. can't believed this used to be the highlights of our week. But hey.. what matter is not the place, but the company.

So I roam around to shop and conquer. Found..nay! Told ya I had exceeded my budget. Got a coupla of decent clothes. I guess I just doesnt have the heart to hand my money to a decent looking thing. Bought myself a Gokusen 2 J-Dorama instead. I blamed the cutest sales assistant. She looked just like one of those Japanese actress... and if I am smitten by her.. imagine the boyss...

Helped my friends to shop around for books and clothes. Look around and seen ghost of myself walking around..with.. well.. I am becoming a sentimental... Anyhowww, while I am trying to browse through my favorite section , I believe one of the patron there who is leisurely browsing through the books let out the most horrible smelling fart. I abandoned my idea and fled the contaminated scene.

Later on we went to watch Charlie and the Choc Factory. Thought it was gonna be boring and full of goody over the rainbow feelings. But nooo... it was delightfully sombre with dark humour and just a right touch of morality to not feel nauseous. And Johnny Depp.. does not look like Johnny Depp!!

Our plan was to haunt convo fair under the starry night.. but then how we managed to go to Tesco.. completely eluded me. I was dragging my feet by that time. Remembered? I was horribly sick, have no voice and have a fever, yet hey.. I am in UTP, there's no time to waste. Got back around 2am.

But hey.. my heart not yet contented. Since I got back to UTP, I had been missing my supper buddies... Phone em up. Now it truly felt like old time again.... almost.

Am Officially an Ex-UTPian - Day 1

My convocation was last weekend but I went early to UTP to be there for every events. By Wednesday last week, I was bubbling with excitement with the thoughts of seeing my beloved campus ground again. Even the the peeling paint of Propana is a sight for sore eyes.

Thursday morning came. My friend, Gon picked me up, I was still running around picking things up to be pack. It was raining as if revenge for all the peoples that had asked for rain earlier on during the haze. We can't see anything driving to Gombak. Got to my friend house. Hate to come out of the car... but knowing my friends I will probably run out of oxygen by the time they came out from the house. So there I was dripping with rain except my tudung which are holding the rainwater like I had put candle wax all over it. (behaviors found among weird schoolgirls when I was at school). And then I went inside for some breakfast since I did not have any meal yesterday. Only 1 sandwich since I was freezing with cold and just want to walk around. When it was time to put in all my friend's clothes in the car (still raining), Gon's car door somehow cannot be closed, the latch is stuck. Great.. not only it rains but it pours as well. We got the car to the workshop in the rain, and the Ah Beng there helped us and tried to persuade us to leave the car at the workshop. Of course we can't, we just leave but leaving many thanks for being able to temporarily fix the car door.

Then comes our trip to UTP. Along on the way, I was looking for changes. It had been 8 months. Wow. Noticed that Lagenda at Batu Gajah is no more. I had some sweet moments there. Celebrated my birthday there once with my housemates and friends. Along the way, nothing much changes, some houses had improvement, more shops had been opened on the long deserted row of shops at Mamak Tronoh. Tronoh, the town where time stand stills.



Got back to UTP ...and then ...woo the changes. The Pak Guard little 'pondok' had been changed to something looking like a lavish isolated hotel lobby. And the road going to UTP campus, it is .... Ridiculous with all the roundabout being added. My friend remarked that it probably reflected our UTP much emphasized and wearied upon motto of 'well-rounded'. Anyhow the mosque is spectacular, but it could do with less pillars. Went to the Chancellor Hall to get our robes. Then I went to pick up the frame for my graduation day. I was horror struck. It is SO big. I do not much fancy looking at my own face at the compact powder mirror. This is the size of a frame where usually peoples hang their wedding picture. I am even doubtful I would make my wedding picture this big. I shrugged since the damage had been done. I would just hang my wedding picture in that frame if my graduation picture comes out as ghastly.

Then we go to our lil hotel of Metana and Etana. Now this are actually our first dormitory when we got to UTP in our first year. It is small and looks like a factory stay for workers and the facility sucks. But.. the memories here are all sweet memories and downright laughable too. Maybe I will make a post about that later. We all went to sleep or so we thought. All of us updated each other gossips.. all the boyfriends and exes updated. Who going out with whom. Who still dating whom. Who still going out with whom and still dating whom.

We went to dinner at our favorite haunt. Mami's place we called. It's official name is 'Restoran Deli Planet'. Sadly it changed for the worse, the place is not well kept clean, the waitress is just too damn lazy to even fetch a measly limau nipis (saying instead they had run out of limau nipis). Yeah right... liked we believed that. And the cashier instead of handing my change back beatifically, bang down the change. Horrible. Felt good that I am leaving the place. But looking around at the place near the Tmn Maju where the Pasar Malam and Pasar Ramadhan used to be held. It brings pleasant, lovely yet painful memories too. Every nook and cranny of the place seems to make me remembering him back vividly again. But then.. I pushed the thoughts away. Fun , fun days.. I admonished myself.

Went back to our sad-looking but now lively 'hotel' of Etana. Seems like I am almost back during my 1st year studying in UTP. The little cupboard, no computers so no one was glued at their seats typing, everybody moving around at everyone else rooms, the sounds of laughing, people sitting at bed /reading. Deja Vu all over again. We moan and groan that we needs to be at the hall at 7.30 am to be for the convo rehearsal since everyone wants to go out and have fun, yet I am the last one staying awake since each and every one of us are tired from the journey.

Before I closed my eyes.. I looked at my phone beside my pillows and sighed~

Just a Thank You Note

I had just got back from UTP. Convocation. I won't make this long because I am tired and listless and have a cold and felt like flinging something out of the window.

However, I do like to thank the 3 gentlemen for bringing me the loveliest bouquets of flowers. I do appreciate it and loved all of em very much. I also like to thank the cutest couple for giving me the cutest red heart 'love'-like graduation wand. And I loved my family for being so patient in the hot sun. And of course to the gift bearers too.. to brave the sun to give me a lil something.. Thank you again.

Thank you for remembering me in my important event. Now.... I need to curse my freaky immune system for failing me yet again.


Notes: I will update about the convocation later on... not today.. it will take too long. When I am not so busy.

Behind The Images In Your Dreams

I do not think myself as a pyschic or anything. But sometimes things do happen that make we believe in the supernatural. And sometimes dreams are so vivid it make us wonder, had it happened?

Before my father died, my mom remembered having a dream that her neck had been broken. In an old superstition, they say if we dream our neck had been broken we will lose somebody near to us. Then when I was at my 2nd year in the university a friend told me that if we dreamt that we our teeth "patah" (broken) or lose our teeth, we will lose somebody near to us too. I remembered having that dream before my mid term break. In my dream, I was buying things around the Tronoh night market (damn, I miss that) . Suddenly at the palm of my hand there are several teethes!

On the way back to JB, I was fretting thinking will it comes true? Will I lose somebody I hold dear? At home after some days of fun, sleeping and eating... I soon forget about the dream. Just before the mid term end break, my grandfather died suddenly. He had a heart attack and hit his head on the edge of a particularly sharp old fashioned table. The one that you can tear out the splinters one by one. The heart attack and the head trauma had been too much for my 70 year old grandfather. He died on the way to the hospital.

After that, it is not that I felt all of my dream had some meaning. Remembered my dream of the man? That have not even become true.. nor does the opposite of true. But.. I remembered when I dreamt that my friend died in a car accident. I called him a few days later on, to make sure he is OK. Seems like he had almost been in an accident.

Today, I dreamt something horrible happened to him. It is so horrible I won't give the details. I woke up wide awake, reaching for my phone to call him. I was torn between calling a sane person at 4 am , fearing he might not like me acting weird and wanting to reassure myself he is fine and OK. My fear of being thought like a freak won out. Some peoples are just wuss.

I know he is OK. I know it. But I just hope I really know he is OK. Reassuring myself that where ever he are. He is fine and happy. And he should be.

Sex Education

When will somebody annouce holiday ... I meant state of emergency to KL? Damn, I almost choke when getting out from the office building today. The haze is sooo bad. I do not need to exaggerate since most of you are probably already am choking yourselves while reading my blog.

To get back to the topic above. I bought Cleo today. It is not exactly my monthly read. But I had already exceeded my budget on excessive spending since I am now in a shopping spree looking for niceties even without a discount, so I have to cut down on the book spending. Shocking behavior! Now.. I kept on getting deflected to talk about the topic above.

The first thing I do usually when flipping through Cleo is read the article on She Says and He Says. Entertaining read, really. Then I went to look into the most recommended beauty products...

Okay okay, I will not bore you with my Cleo reading habits. But one my favorite is reading the "Dear {Enter- columnist- cum- adviser- who- probably- never- been- in- psychology- class- pen- name}". It is so fascinating to read peoples griefs and woe stories. Some of em are just plain silly and showy.. you know the type.. that "These 2/3/4 guys really like me... and I do not know who to choose..bla bla". All advise column around the world are filled with these type of problems. Probably columnist had already made a template of the solution. So that is why these type of problem keeps on appearing in the newspaper/magazine. Save the columnist some time.

Cleo also have these Q&A about sex. Now.. this is what I like to read. Because it makes me wonder on how very stupid some peoples are when it came to sex. Something like "We have sex without condom, can I become pregnant?". And when they mention their age, they are about my age! I do not actually condemn them to write in and asked.. since who else can they ask? Our parents? Yeah right. I commend them for posting their question. It sometimes gave really good information... and shed some light on some peoples weird bed behavior. At least they got their answer from a good source. Imagine asking your friends.. it is like the blind leading the blind.

Blind A: " Now.. do you think I should do with the condom or not?"
Blind B: "Naahh.. malu giloz (extremely embarassed) when buying lor, also heard very painful for girl one"
Blind A: "But but... in TV they all do that, it says must have protection"
Blind A: " Aiyooo, you remember or not Biology lesson, have sex right after she finish period and before she start period waannn?"
Blind B: "Can like dat laa?"

Now.. do you find it hard to believe the conversation above? Believe it or not, some of these conversation I had heard before. Not exactly like this.. but 2 or 3 examples crammed into one conversation.

But even then I wondered at some people lack of knowledge. These meant some peoples are ignorant. Ignorant needs to be educated. Even more idiotic, ignorant peoples become falsely knowledgeable and educate other ignorants with idiocy. Now that is why I think Sex Education is a good idea. The argument for Sex Education, is something between a morality and religion issues. The questions posed, will giving peoples information about condom make them more likely to have sex?

To me that is bullshit. Of course condom meant having sex. But if somebody shoved me a boxful of condom, would that make me want to become suddenly sexually active? Hell, no. Even before teenagers know the word condom, they were having sex. That peoples, is actually the more frightening issue here. At my obviously ghetto-like neighbourhood, children as young as 11 had been known to have intercourse!

How fast these kids are advancing ( I shuddered to think when I will have kids). Yet, their lack of knowledge is still the same. And the so called sex education class at our biology/science class is laughable. Of course it is good to know what is scrotum or fallopian tube and how the menstruation cycle work. But thats it. I learnt more from my religious school! Peoples think that religion restrict the mention of sex? The book I was reading had even described on how the husband should make love to the wife!

In our religion upbringing, it is in there we instill the values that we should practice day to day. But other information should also be given into light. And how some venereal disease spreads. How to practice safe sex. Informed that safe sex does not mean not getting pregnant either, it also meant protection against other diseases like HIV and Hepatitis.

Apart from that, how to deflect sexual harassment for the girls. How guys can be more concious that they are causing the girl harm. Where to turn into when something happened; e.g. molested, raped, harassed, untoward behavior by higher authority? You cannot expect a girl of 14 or 15 to know all this. These are all sex education. It is not only the matter of encouraging youngsters to wear rubber.

Now if you were given a knife would you kill?
If you were given a gun would you shoot?
If you were given the rubber would you use?
If you were given information would you practice?
If you were given a chance would you redeem?
And if you were to believe in Him would you fear?

These are then all comes to choices. Only let us relieve ourselves that we had given the best information that they can choose.

How to Unwind - My Style

Now.. the few days and week.. had been a turmoil, hectic and headachy. Today is no exception .. but the afternoon... bring a pleasant interval. The phone server was down. That ... my love.. was bliss itself.

But that alone could not eradicate my gloominess . Soooo..

1. Bought a great looking shoe; regardless of the price.

2. Bought something 'pampering'

3. Have a nice long shower

4. Execute favorite long ago pastime - Watch "sex and the city" at the computer while consuming dinner.

5. Cover ears with headphone and bring up the volume of favorite tune..

6. Find out you are losing weight.. !!!

If only I could do more shopping to content my heart desire... I guess thats one of the reason the men have to let the women shop. Or we get cranky. Desperate Housewives..awaits.

Damn it

Now.. who's just deleted my almost post? Damn... do I have to lock my desktop whenever wherever. I lost my mood to post.

Damn it.

Those were the days....

I wake up around 4 this morn. My work start around 5 am. My friend before this say at disbelief;

"At my place.. only fisherman goes out that early,". Well, KL is after all the city that never sleeps..... yawn.

Anyhow.. My sis was driving me since she wants to use the car. Soo.. she needs to drive me laa.. So while keeping myself half awake, we stopped at the traffic light near Ampang Point.

It is pretty pointless to stop at traffic light at 4 am. If it were in good ol town Tronoh, I would had just urge them to just drive. But this being KL, who knows what drunken fools and stupid racing youngsters are out there gleefully behind the wheel. So we stopped behind this Kenari and Kancil ( our car was a Kelisa). What a nice happy Perodua family. Anyhow I noticed that, the Kancil one was filled with 3 guys. Looks to be around my age, younger I suppose. The driver was laughing and talking with the peoples in Kenari (The Kenari windows are tinted, cant see anything in there) One of the guys in the Kancil are slumped at the back, texting.

As I looked at em, I realized something. They were probably on their way back home after being out (drinking? partying? shaggin?) almost all night. I felt a sudden pang. Here I am on my way to work, starting the day. And these guys are on their way home to go and sleep and wake up when it is noon. And even after they had waken up, I will still be at my office. It just ain't fair I told you. Those guys used to be me ( well... I am/was not a guy.. but you get my drift), usually after I got back at 2am from watching the movie .. then at 3 or 4 am , out I went to hang out at mamak. Then I went back to my room, crash on my bed (kroih! kroih!) just before sun up. Those are my rules of sleeping. I need to sleep while it is still dark. Or my body clock will go haywired and think that my body should be up and raring to go. (yeah right, I am only reasonably concious at 10 am)

Sigh.... Those guys make me felt old. Michael Ooi blogged on how he felt hearing a bunch of kids talking, I felt old at 22 because I rarely experience this anymore.

But wait! I had just this memory flash. Read somewhere that if you felt old.. that shows only how young you are. Goody~

Tango.. Hear it and you will understand this post....

I was not intending to blog today. I was tired. I have a fearful headache. But then.. this is why I had setup my blog initially. To release all pent up emotion.

The thing is I do not know where to start. How laughable. Because I was almost adamant to not blog about him. Almost.. because I have not put layers and layers of concrete into my weak willed spirit yet. I will.. but later on.. not just yet. All previous entry.; all those heartache, confusion.. I chose to left it there because as I told you. Therefore, I can look back and see foolish me again. These came to mind reading on suff blog earlier on.

So once in a while... it is refreshing to not make much sense to my readers cause I myself can hardly think in a straight line. Why all these sudden rush of emotions? Something eventful happened to me? No. I did not meet anyone. I did not come in contact with anyone. Yet... sometimes at one unguarded moment.. when you are listening to a tune.. not those sweet tune.. nor those poignant one either.. its those passionate one. And at that moment.. when I let my hair down and I build my castle in the air...... somebody carelessly thrown to me, his name. I blinked in surprise. My lips parted halfway... wanting to say the name .. slowly. Feeling it again on my lips. How it felt.

Then... just only because of that little thing, I was restless for a day or two. My mind went into a feverish pace.. what had been said between us, what had happened. I do not seems to want to seek an explanation... it is just there.. I can't explain it. I simply can't. It is beyond me. Its like some secret creature that wants to claw out ... and I kept on beating it down with a stick... and yet felt that I could not bring myself to do it. But yet I continue to beat it and at the same time shed tears over the poor creature.

Women are strange creature. She can perfectly reasonable when peoples does not want her to be and be unreasonable against all logic and sense.

I am tired.

Ain't A Fairytale.. Ain't A Sob Story Either

This ain't a fairytale. You had been warned.

The girl met him one cold dark night. Somebody had pitched to her the idea of eating together with some strangers. Being young and foolish.. she nodded and agreed. She dressed carefully, wearing her dark shroud as usual. Giving her identity as the one as obscurity.

Went to wait by the block with a couple of friends. They discussed on how they might found the strangers. Pleasant? Sneering? Have a sense of humour? Then she saw someone walking towards them in a fast pace. She was never the sort of person that can judge peoples quickly by a first look. Gave him one lookover. Looks cheerful enough. Maybe the night won't be such a bore anyway, she thought.

They went to dinner and she was shocked to found more strangers greeting us... she gave a small smile. Slumped to her seat eating her food ... steeling herself to be oblivious to all by stubbornly sticking her eyes to watch the news even though she can't hear a thing. Later on to the movie. The movie was making her cry, but held herself back from showing so apparent a feeling to a complete stranger. The other girls was laughing, the guys was joking, she was silent. She then did not gave him any more thoughts, nor his friends. Got back to campus in the other car later on.

Going online in the campus, the girl can see everywhere his nick. He is virtually everywhere ::wink:: Nonetheless, she kept to her own circles of friends and stay out of his. How mistaken some peoples misguided intention are.

Forward a year or few months. she then met a guy who she thought made her world go round and round. Typical love story. Guy met gal. Gal fall, guy get flattered and believe him falling too. Then.. as coincidence would have it, the typical guy brought the girl to meet his friends. Little would the girl know how great this chain of events will be. The friends turned out to be the stranger from the long ago night. She laughed at the coincidence and made a truly honest effort to be friends with the friends of her belovedest then.

Forward few months again. The typical guy turns out a failure. Giving the girl misery and unhappiness. She sought comfort in his friends. They understand him, thus understanding on what she were going through. The girl are even more appreciative of these friends. They kept picking her up again and again when she is down and gloomy and don't care a rat ass about own self.

The guy is now history. The friend is now present. He is there when there's no one to help. History repeats itself again and again... Nonetheless he always there to support whatever decision she chooses, no matter how disastrous that turned out. He's there when he knows the girl are crying in agony but are too ashamed to let her feelings known. Sometimes she failed him, and sometimes he failed her.

She is laughing again. Sometimes crying. Sometimes silent. Sometimes sulky. Yet she knows, if she picked up the phone... and called him.. he would always answer in concern. Even if sometimes he is too busy and laughing with his big circle of friends.

This post is specially dedicated to Snubby, a dearest friend.. since he kept on hounding me to say something about him here. Baahh.... hehe... and I guess only you knew when I told you about the great chain of events eh? Now... Snubby..left a comment here so that I know and have proof that you read my 'karangan' (essay)!!!!

Hazy Tuesday

See on mental notes for calendar on own head.. Tuesday.

Everybody usually have their bad day. Mine is Tuesday. Ever since I was a wee girl of 11, I noticed every things that I liked least happened on Tuesday. For almost I can remember Tuesday is where I will have Maths , Physics, Additional Maths..all those mind boggling subjects classes... on Tuesday. Peoples always get unreasonable on Tuesday. Today is Tuesday. ~Sigh.

Today the calls coming through not so heavy, nonetheles.. got a coupla callers thats really really stubborn in getting technical help even though I am getting nowhere with em. It takes me almost 5 minutes to get him to save registry backup files.... and you want to guide him through deleting stuffs through the registry files? My lunchtime is 2 hours ago!!! And I had to postponed it because some callers just think that by phoning technical support you can solve almost anything. Granted most problems can be solved.. but sometimes it require extra help and any amount of words I sputter out.. it will be the same. But I thank my lucky stars they are still gracious even though stubborn.

Throughout the day got a headache and needs to clutch own head while grappling with customer's woes. Couple with missing my lunch... my head was going round and round dizzying me while trying to stop myself saying "I don't care".

4.45pm. Got out... got a couple of wolf whistles and some not so lewd yet very off putting remarks on the way to KLCC to wait for sis. Swore silently under breath. May they be struck by lightning. ~Sigh..

Went to KLCC to buy lemonade to cure my aching head. Went out to wait for sis at the front. From the Philharmonic Hall.. it looks like rain. Got out from the air conditioned hall. Haze. Chokeful of ashes flying merrily around. Contemplate to go back inside. Too much trouble. Just wait while sipping lemonade. Look around,even when I am right at the front of KLCC I cant see much of KLCC. Saw tourists trying to take photographs of the Twin Towers. Not everyday you can take a picture of that, I thought. The air is gasping though. I had sneezed several time, endure hours of these would gave a healthy person an asthma attack. 15 minutes later , I can see my sis car.

On the way up to the elevated highway, I can see the sun looking like a moon drenched in blood. Visibility is very poor.

Tuesday. Thats what it does to you. ~ Sigh ~

The Fly

I am not much into letting myself goes in term of anger. I have pretty good anger management skill. Hahaha.. right!

My friends knew I am angry when they saw a dangerous gleam in my eyes and I was surprisingly silent. I am the kind of person who generally laugh herself silly on every little thing such as seeing ... ar I can't think of an example.. but I even smile as I shit. Not a pretty picture. Anyway. When I am not smiling or laughing genially that only means...

1. It is early in the morn. I AM NOT A MORN PERSON! Needs to find job that have late hours... perhaps bargirl as such? I heard the tips are great.
2. I am really freaking mad... kinda like having a B.F (Bitch Fit) but in a boiling silently as those advanced looking kettle nowadays.

Normally girls are the one that get on my nerves. Maybe because, I am a girl (obviously)so normally are close to girls. Being close to peoples generally opened your eyes if that person is worth your time or not. In term of guys, if a guy turn me off.. I can just scamper back to my belovedest friends and 'sembunyi' (hide) behind their back.

So.. now without the shield of my friends... I am left alone fending for my own. Damn. Does not help when girl friends are scarce nowadays especially in my workplace. Does not help either to be sit near the most irritating man I met on my life. Ah yes... . Why is he irritating? Why is fly irritating if it comes to that? It kept on hovering around... buzzing around your ear.. contaminate you foods.. messing your appetites. Kinda like dat laa. Poor guy to be likened to a fly. But damn pesky lor. Cannot tahan already.

This guy.. in a small dosage is tolerable. But imagine sitting near him. Argh.. Not that I am ungrateful. He does helps me a lot (sometimes even when I do not want his help)... he is capable in his job. That is as much praise I can give him. But when it came to be the role of being a normal breathing human guy... I think something had gone wrong somewhere. He must had been blasted off by radioactive material probably in Perak.. (do not know if he had gone there, I will assume) that destroyed all his good sense genes and had left him impaired with so much irritating traits. I am not normally a profane person... but I am whenever I thought about him.

At first, I will just feigned ignorance.. as anybody might ignore a fly. Shoo it. Escape to non-fly area route. But sometimes that when you almost think you are safe. Bam! The Fly ruin your mood/sleep/leisure activity/conversation/shower.

Then one day, I was busily minding my own business ...Thump! He non-accidentally gave a push my chair . Not so quite violently, but hard enough to make me started. Then like a normal human being... 'sound'(remind oh so gently) him.

"Hey... don't push laa"... while glaring murderously.

Also won't work. Probably by the radioactive blast he have superpower; e.g. thick hide. By showing displeasure he thinks I am pleased kah? The Fly had the audacity to retort back grinning:

"At least I did not push you off the chair" (Translate from Malay)

I was like.. bloody hell. And I won't say 'fuck him' either. Coz.. I bloody does not want to. And he thinks I like it? Shit, man. I am pissed. I am this close (show itsy lil fingers) to slam dunk my chair to his lousy head. Arghhh.. the things normal human being have to endure not to become Hulk Hogan.. arr I meant Incredible Hulk.

Also laaa.. what makes him think I would want to go out with him after all the above.. and.. After repeatedly, I repeat... repeatedly decline to go out with him in any place or anytime. Now.. if a guy asked the 2nd time after being decline, it is OK. If a guy asked a 3rd time, without any hint from the girl, or if the girl did not offer to make it up... Gave it up already laa. "She is just not into you" as to quote the book.

Now.. anger is refreshing. I am Zen now (whatever that means). I am in peace with nature and all living things. Do not have any natural inclination to hurt own species anymore.... until own species try to throw me off my chair again.

The Great Malaysia Sales

Malaysian and sales. It is like a long standing love affair. No matter what time of year it is, we could always see the Sales sign being put up. I do not really put much stock into all these sales. Unless I saw a sign saying "Clearance Stock". Then my eyes light up, and I will always leave the place with a great looking blouse/bag/pants that cost less than RM30. My friends always wonder at my ability to spot great bargains. I guess you must be born one. ::Toss Hair::

Anyway... Back to the title above. I had scoured through KLCC. Nothing capture my interest. Except bags, few pants. Thats it. None nothing. So because of course it is the GREAT Malaysia Sale... I must make a list on:

###What to Buy###

• Light colour high heels - preferably white. Not looking so much like a nurse in training
• Any Blouse - (Just realized do not have much on those)
• Work Pants - Got only 3 at the moment. Perhaps 4 if I am striving for that almost casual but not so much look.
• Bag - Because..... I want, I want

###Things that had caught my attention###

• Red Bag from Seed - High Priority this one
• Red Lil H/Bag from Seed - Not so much, since cannot match with lotsa things
• Red Bag from Vincci - Cheaper than Seed, but the strap not so nice (I see a definite pattern here)
• Striped Blouse from - Nicole

Thats it. And the things that is most important like work blouse and work pants, caught not my attention. And I entered Vincci with apparent boredom while other womans are trying to catch the eye of the harass looking salespersons at Vincci. KLCC, nothing much to see.

Let's go to Bukit Bintang Area next! Ohhh... And I am hoping to buy some books to make use of my voucher buying HBP.

Dils

I was bored. I have no idea on which site I would surf on. How ironic that when you finally get unlimited access to Internet you lose interest to search on the topics you want to search when you were connected to Dial Up and do not have Internet at work. So I opened Google and Yahoo! and begun to type in randomly the word:

So I found out the above. The picture is an armband for a band name .. well it is that obvious to you aight! The band, it seems to me is a:

So.. it is like a punk band. They were playing around the late 70s. Click on the above picture to get more information about the band.

And the other not so cool info I gathered on Google about my particular nick Dils is DILS 2005 — Data Integration in the Life Sciences; like new forum to gather all those research. But hey.. science is sometimes cool too.

Well.. thats all folks. I could not get more boring than this.

I am hungry. In search for food.

Disclaimer:: All pictures are taken from this site. Just for information and partly deco purposes::

The Island

Today I don't feel so hot. No idea why. Anyway, last night just went to see The Island. Nice movie better than Fantastic 4. Definitely the money to waste here.

It started cool enough, with all these clones living in a seclusion believing they will go to the Island. Then one person starts questioning is there more than the Island? Why are they all so monotonous, wear whites, wear same dress, shoes everyday. Then boom.. reality hit and out they goes running. You can almost say typical.

Nonetheless, it is a nice typical movies with plenty of boom and action. Not like Fantastic 4 where I was waiting where the real action gonna start and seen that it had already finished. Someone mentioned that the car chase would be something worth to watch as in the last Matrix. But.. it is not that cool as some car chases like Italian Job or Matrix. It is just nice. Told you it is a nice typical movie. But since I am a gal.. so probably I am not that great a judge regarding special effects. But.. in these movies it is kinda lacking. Probably they are going for the times before CG makes a great impact in special effects. Everything was fast. You could not see what they were doing while chasing each other. Everything is like a blur to me and makes me kinda dizzy. I was feeling like puking by the end of the movie.

Anyway, I would paid RM 11 (in my case) to watch Ewan Mcgregor with Scottish accent. It is kinda fake... nonetheless he is just too cute. Scarlett Johansson looks.. almost too perfect.. kinda like plastic to me. But they does goes well together. Hermm.. Ewan Mcgregor do looks great with icy blonde beauty.

So.. I think I know why I am not feeling so hot today... must be the after effects watching The Island. I also had just finish reading the 2nd time reading Half Blood Prince. Shocking aight dila. Just to gain more perspective. The outcome? I did.

kekanak

kanak2 ribena

sigh i miss em