Skip to main content

Tok Mak

Tok Mak was what we called our only grandmother. Was is the word.

She passed away last Saturday on the 14th of July 2007. Around subuh. I only got back from JB yesterday.

It saddened me that we are not there to see her for the last time before she died. But I am glad anyway that I felt the urgency to go back to Johor Bahru last week and saw her for the last time. I knew she wanted to see the engagement pics so bad and I'm thankful that I came before it is too late.

It surprised me to see her so frail and thin when I saw her last time and even more so during her death. But it's great to know that she still manage to grab a bite of her favorite food.. goreng pisang, before she became too ill to down any solids.

What is to become of her old home I wonder? From what is being discussed by the elders, it is more sensible to sell it since the upkeep of an old house is getting too expensive. Sighing, the insensible part of me wishing it would not be let go, but it would be too depressing to see it go to ruins.

It is sad that she can't be there during my wedding day. I know how wedding preparations and gathering makes her happy. To see all the clans brought together.

Sigh.. Al Fatihah

Comments

takziah to ur family..i still have one granma left and she was super happy during my sister's wedding.she end up staying with us for 2 days....
This comment has been removed by the author.

Nuffnang

Popular posts from this blog

End of a decade?

So people are like eh its not the end of a decade, end of a decade is dec 2020. Whatever. We ignore this people. Nearing towards the end of 2019. I wanted to summarize what I had done in a decade but old age is catching up and my memory is foggy. Lets just tried it. From 2010 to 2019 - I had worked 3 jobs.  Quit and now a SAHM. - Went from 2 cats to 8 til recently and now down to 5. I can manage 5. 8 was chaos. - Somehow from having no kids I now have 3 boys. 2,5,7 . - I want to say I travel unsatisfactorily but I visited about 6 countries in 10 years. Ok lah.  - Husband went from long distance and now back at home just recently. - Went from a US tv shows addicts to Kdrama addicts. - Read a lot the first half of decade, not so after quitting. Duduk rumah don't feel like reading. Which is bad sebab kenkadang feels like brain rotting off. - Blogging is no longer a thing by 2019, but we hardened early 2000s bloggers are coming back to spout off nonsense s...

Raw

Why does my heart cried Feelings I can't fight You betrayed me But just don't deceived me And please believe me when I say I love you [From the movie Moulin Rouge] And why didnt he? He's playing hot and cold.. hot and cold with me. I can't stand it. Yet I always come back for more. I am a true blue masochist. I don't even ask him to love me. I just ask him to miss me. And he couldnt even do that.. or say it. I just want to see his face once more. To see his lovely smiles, his small laugh. Why couldn't I forget him. When he could so easily dismissed me.. he could just easily come back and messed my sense and sensibility. While my tears fall down to my keyboard, yet at the same time I was making jokes and soothing him telling him "no worries". I don't ask for much... a smile, a pat on the hand. I miss him so much. Yet I am so afraid to let it shows. Becoz then if I show it... it will hurt 10 times more.