Its November

 I am feeling kinda tired all the time. 

Absolutely transfixed

Miraculously I havent manage to get one more cat into the house, but having 3 boys all the time at home, I feel like the house are filled to the brim already. 

The kids are going back to school now, but with sistem penggiliran in place. So it had been somewhat peaceful. Before this I feel like so tired sorting out their online classes, who needs to go where, which homework needs to be submitted, making sure they are engaged in classroom and not off somewhere playing Legos. 

This year, I think I might forego the annual sale BBW because I am broke, also my books are way too much, also it is held in somewhere I don't have the energy to drive to. 

Mostly here still watching kdramas, gaining weight and stroking cat furs at every opportune time. Been job searching too, but its been hard. HARD. Also countless interviews that goes nowhere can really break a human spirit. You feel like you are worthless to anyone and this kinda sabotage you more on the next interview. Hard to get out of this funk yo. 

I feel probably I need to start writing more. Just because. I may talk more on my progress on piano/violin playing here. Still playing. Little lagging on the piano part because I am on a hard page, need to push myself a bit more, I will , I will. I will try to get through that piece next week! 

Later, also did you guys went on a spree this 11.11?

Tiny Little Bobby

 

Thats what I call him when he first came to the house. He was so bulat ( from worms then bulat from all the eating) but so small in my hand, and he always came running when he heard that call name, perut gently swaying side by side. As he got bigger and fatter, the name stuck that my son asked me why I call him that because Bobby is not tiny. I said he is always tiny to me. 

He had his fault. Whenever he came upon a stray plastic on the floor, he will definitely peed on it. Bags too. It forced me to not leave things on the floor at the very least. 

He also like to scoot his butt on the floor after pooping when he was tiny. He stopped that habit when he was older. 

He eats a lot and became tubby. He always look to me like a kitten even when he was the oldest cat in the house. So I never stop calling him tiny little Bobby. 

This tubbiness then make his bone to cause issues in his senior years, which then led him having issues with his bowel movements, which led to a whole lot of issues.

Went to 2 vets, the later vets finally diagnosed the issues but it was getting too expensive. I was also frustrated by the solutions that does not seems to work with Bobby. Anyway its back and forth with vets, and I thought I finally gotten him to do better with a change of diet and regular lactulose, but it was not to be. A week before he passed, he stopped pooping (or pooped very little) and I thought I had more time to get him to the vet. He passed on the morning of 3rd of July 2021. He was 10 years old. 

I was concerned seeing him vomitting and basically being very lethargic but also restless the night before. I gave him fluid by subcut and thought that I will try to call the vet next day. I woke up and he is gone. 

I found him curl up next to his food, with poop around but otherwise looking the best he ever had for months. My heart it breaks. I hope he didn't suffer much, and if he did, it ends quickly for him. 

Put his body on a pile of news paper. He looked like he is sleeping. It breaks my heart.

I am sorry Bobby. I felt like I let him down. I was crying the past few days. I have a box full of his pack of wet food and canned food still and it breaks my heart that I didn't give him more of it. The other cats now enjoy your food Bobby. 

I will always remember the time I scoop you out of the top of lorry mewing loudly. I remember how you love to run around the small yard. And you always comes whenever I call your name, without fail. Only after you got sicker that you stopped coming. But when you feel healthy, you will come. 

I will miss you. You are free of pain now Bobby. 

Hey 2121

 I had been late and you had not been great. 

What happened earlier this year? 

Nothing much. Lockdowns, PDPR and more lockdowns and PDPR. Things are getting worse which is ridiculous because the lockdown had been long. 

The second kid is now in Standard 1 and my heart ached for him that for his last year in kindergarden and his first year in primary was mostly stuck at home, learning from the tablet. 

As for the other... I can't think of more. I just want to write here quickly before June disappears, and I didn't make an entry before the latter part of the year. 

My husband and I though had been vaccinated. First dose. Now its the waiting game and hoping we dont get covid first before we can manage the second dose. In the mean time, I am still thankful for whatever protection the first dose may offer for now. 

I will talk more. But later. More scanning to do. 

I do not want it to be a bare post, so here's a pic of my eldest with his Seni homework. After all instead of vacation pics, nowadays our phones are filled with our kids homework pics and vids.